Hello and welcome.
I'm Mark Rowland.
Thank you for joining me this evening.
.
.
Sometimes.
The hardest part of a difficult night begins way before we actually go to bed.
You might have had a few nights of broken sleep recently.
You may have been waking in the early hours and finding it hard to drift off again.
And now.
.
.
As another evening approaches.
Familiar thought may start to appear.
What if it happens again tonight?
If that's where you are today.
Let this meditation be somewhere you can put down some of that worry.
You don't need to make yourself sleepy.
You don't need to convince yourself that tonight will be different.
For these next few minutes.
We're simply going to come back to the part of the day you're actually living now.
You might already be in bed.
You might be listening earlier in the day because the thought of tonight has started weighing on you already.
Wherever you are.
Find a position.
Where you feel comfortable.
And you feel supported.
Notice where your body is.
Making contact with whatever the surface is beneath you.
Feel the weight of your body.
Resting into that bed or chair.
If you're sitting,
Feel your feet meeting the floor.
And allow yourself to be held here for a while.
With nothing to solve.
Nothing to prepare for.
Take a slow breath in.
.
.
Through the nose.
And let it leave gently.
Another easy breath in now.
.
.
And out.
There's no special breathing pattern or technique to get right.
Just notice that the breath is already happening.
And allow it to continue.
In it soon.
Natural rhythm.
Bring your attention to your face.
Notice your forehead.
The area around your eyes.
Your jaw.
There is no need to force yourself to relax.
Simply notice where you're holding.
Little more effort than you may need right now.
And let some of that effort go.
Ease a little.
Bring your awareness down towards your shoulders.
Feeling their weight.
Then your arms.
Your hands,
Notice your chest and stomach moving gently,
As you breathe.
Let yourself settle into this moment.
When sleep has been difficult.
The mind can become very good at remembering.
It remembers last night.
The clock-watching,
The waking.
The frustration of being tired and still unable to sleep.
Then it starts to look ahead.
What if tonight is the same?
What if I'm awake for hours again?
How will i ever cope tomorrow?
Before we know it.
We can find ourselves mentally living through a night that hasn't even begun yet.
So come back to this one simple thought.
Tonight.
Has not happened yet.
Let those words settle for a moment.
Tonight has not happened yet.
The nights that came before this one.
Are already behind you.
Yes,
They may have been difficult.
You may be tired.
But this particular night is still unwritten.
You don't need to predict it.
You don't need to rehearse it.
Can meet tonight,
When tonight arrives.
Feel the support underneath you again.
Notice one breath.
And another.
When sleep has been difficult,
It can start to feel like something you have to achieve.
Something that you have to get right.
And the more important it becomes.
The more you can find yourself checking for it.
Am I tired enough yet?
Why am I still awake?
How long is left until morning?
But for these few minutes,
Let that check-in stop.
You don't need to know exactly how sleepy you are.
You don't need to work out what time you might wake.
There is nothing to measure here.
Just breathing.
Just resting.
Just being where you are.
That is enough for this moment.
You are listening before bed.
Think of the night ahead.
As a stretch of time.
That you don't need to fill in yet.
You don't know exactly what it will contain.
So let it remain open.
There may be deep sleep.
There may be moments when you wait.
You can meet those moments if they come.
You don't need to lie here now and practice being awake later.
Say quietly to yourself.
I don't have to live through tonight.
Before it arrives.
Again gently.
I don't have to live through tonight.
Before it arrives.
Notice whether those words create even a little bit more space around the worry.
And if your mind replies with another what if,
There's no need to argue with it.
Just notice the thought.
And then come back.
Back to the feeling of your body being supported.
Back to the breath.
Back to the right now.
This moment is much smaller than the whole of the night.
This moment is something you can meet.
One breath.
One moment.
Then the next.
.
.
If you have been sleeping badly you may also be carrying a lot of frustration you might even feel angry with your own body.
You wanted to do something that should feel so natural.
Give your body a little less pressure now.
It doesn't need another instruction.
It doesn't need to be watched.
Offer it the conditions for rest.
And let the rest of the night.
Unfold.
In its own time.
For you,
Your body wants more now.
To wait.
Of your head.
Your shoulders,
Your arms.
And your legs.
Noticing the steadiness beneath you.
Really allowing yourself to receive that support.
If sleep comes later.
You don't need to notice the exact moment it happens,
You don't need to catch yourself falling asleep.
Let yourself drift off when your body is ready.
And if you do wake during the night.
Remember this.
Waking is one moment,
It does not tell you what the rest of the night is going to be like.
Because you can begin again from wherever you find yourself.
The field.
Bad beneath ye.
Notice your breathing.
Allowing the next moment to arrive.
Before worrying about the one after it.
So,
Say quietly to yourself now,
One final time.
Tonight.
Has not happened yet.
I can meet it one moment at a time.
Let those words settle.
And if you're listening during the day begin to notice the room around you again Notice any sounds nearby.
Moving your fingers and toes.
And when you feel ready.
Gently.
Open up your eyes.
And if you're already in bed.
There's nowhere else you need to go.
Just stay exactly where you are.
Let your breathing continue.
Let the day fall away in its own time.
Don't need to guarantee yourself a perfect night.
And you don't need to carry the whole night before it has even begun.
For now,
Allow yourself to rest here.
The next moment.
Can take care of itself.
Have a beautiful rest of your evening.
Go in peace.
Namaste.
