Now that you're here,
Take a moment.
Bring your attention to your breath.
Deeply inhale into your belly.
Release that.
One more big breath in.
Let it go.
Welcome to a hit of hope.
Anybody else have a bad case of the I don't wanna's lately?
You don't wanna do this,
You don't wanna do that.
You just wanna sit and stare at a wall or curl up in a ball.
This could be an indication that you are stretched thin,
And it's no wonder with life's demands.
Plus,
Who likes to be told what to do?
And if your life is anything like mine,
You probably have a chorus of voices chiming in about what you should or should not be doing.
Inhale.
Exhale.
At the same time,
I've been reading about resistance,
How we resist change or effort,
How we have mental structures in place to keep things in place,
Often because we prefer comfort and predictability.
We like things the way they are,
Even if they are the very things which keep us from flourishing.
To use the cliche,
We prefer the devil we know.
Inhale.
Exhale.
If you find yourself lost in an I don't wanna mindset,
If you are rigid,
Fighting and flailing wildly,
Stop.
Breathe.
What is it that you are resisting?
If it's injustice or resisting something that is diminishing you,
Then you know what?
Keep on fighting as long as you are able.
Be a badass warrior fighting for your own best self and the common good.
Rest when you need to,
But please keep fighting until you are there,
Wherever it is that your spirit is allowed to shine.
But are you lost in an I don't wanna because you're being pulled back again and again to a past that is no longer present for you?
Are you resisting a future that is so full of uncertainty that you cannot bear to face it?
So you dig in and stay with what you know.
Inhale.
Exhale.
When I was recently experiencing my own resistance to something uncertain,
A friend of mine suggested that I try an AA tool.
Willingness.
It isn't that life has to go this way or that.
It's that there's an opportunity to be willing to believe the good is real.
That there's a future in it beyond your dreams.
Maintain your willingness to say yes to the big maybe.
And see what happens.
It ain't gonna be easy.
But I bet it will be interesting.
One more thing occurs to me.
Are you stuck in I don't wanna because like a toddler,
You are overtired.
Overstimulated.
If so,
Take a deep breath in.
Let it go.
Breathe.
Settle.
Consider your big maybe.
Consider softening.
Turning toward what is happening.
Be willing.
Be curious.
Be hospitable.
See what your big maybe is hungry for.
And serve that up with a big old smile.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Live light.
