Hi,
And welcome to this RAIN meditation series.
Today's session is for dealing with anger.
As you might know,
RAIN is an acronym for Recognize,
Accept or Acknowledge,
Investigate and Not Identify,
Or Nurture.
If you are not familiar with RAIN and want to know more,
Start by listening to my introduction to RAIN meditation first.
Otherwise,
Please get to a comfortable position with your back straight and close your eyes or soften your gaze.
The fact that you are here is already a good sign that you are aware of the anger feelings you want to overcome or deal with.
Let's guide your awareness by locating this feeling in time and space,
Starting with time.
Think of the main event that triggered your anger to start building up,
At the very beginning of it.
It's important that you identify this,
Because sometimes,
When a strong emotion pops up,
We take in everything around us and might end up misattributing the cause of it to something else other than the true trigger.
Focus on the timing.
Perfect.
Now think for a moment at the space you were in when you started to feel angry.
Just accept the first answer your mind provides.
Good.
Now that you have time and space,
I want you to be fully aware of the feeling.
Find the main place in your body where the feeling lives.
Is it in the tightness of the muscles of your jaw?
Or in your eyes narrowing?
Or is it the pressure in your chest?
Or your heart racing in heat?
Your hands turning into fists?
Or your legs muscles tightening up?
Feel it.
Well done.
Now that you are aware of this feeling,
I would ask you to acknowledge it.
Acknowledging means you know it's there,
Without judging it.
You recognize and accept its presence.
The feeling is there for a reason.
It's your mind and body talking to you in a language you are about to understand.
To do so,
You need to first accept the message that is there in the first place.
Observe it and label it.
Call it by its name.
Notice that now you are the observer and anger is the observed feeling.
Now that you see the feeling from the outside of it,
We can start investigating.
There is something really important I want to share with you.
A moment ago,
I asked you to call the feeling by name.
And you might have chosen to call it anger.
Anger is possibly the generic name we often give to a variety of feelings.
And bucketing them into anger is an easy way to describe it to others and ourselves.
But now we will do something very powerful.
We will unpack anger in all its shades.
And you will be able to understand exactly which one of them is the one that resonates most with you and how you feel.
This will help you relabel it,
Understand it and put into perspective the feeling as well as your reaction to it.
Let's start our investigation.
I will offer you six levels of anger intensity,
Starting from the mildest one.
Each with its name and an example to help you decide which one is the one that you recognize yourself the most with.
You can keep in mind the one label that you think represents your state the most.
And switch it with a new one,
Only if you feel the new one is fitting better.
This way,
You will get to the end knowing which one is your new label that will substitute the generic one for anger.
The first one is irritation.
Irritation is a mild fleeting annoyance.
It's something that can happen when someone is making an annoying sound,
Eating or fidgeting with an object,
That irritates you but it's not enough to make you angry.
The second one is frustration.
This derives from a blocked goal.
It's the feeling that you are not making progress or you are hindered from achieving a goal.
Imagine you are trying to finish a project but your computer keeps crashing repeatedly,
Not allowing you to complete it.
Do you feel frustration?
The third one is exasperation.
This is being fed up or intensely irritated.
Imagine if you explained several times a task to someone and they still don't get it,
And continue to do it wrongly,
Making you feel drained.
Do you feel exasperation?
The fourth is disappointment.
This is sadness mixed with irritation or frustration.
It happens when expectations are not met.
Imagine you have hoped for a promotion but someone else gets it.
Instead of feeling only irritated,
You are also feeling let down.
Do you feel disappointment?
The fifth is resentment.
This is a lingering bitterness about being treated unfairly.
Imagine you have put extra work into a project or a relationship but it never got recognized.
And over time you begin to harbor bitterness towards the person you expected recognition from.
Do you feel resentment?
Finally,
The sixth one is rage.
An overwhelming frustration and loss of control accompanied by a strong desire to act or lush out,
Verbally or physically.
Imagine you are driving and someone cuts you off,
And you find yourself yelling and hitting the steering wheel.
Do you feel rage?
Now that you have investigated your feeling to find the right label,
You have a much better understanding and context about it,
Don't you?
So what is your new label to substitute the generic anger one?
This is a very powerful way to get in touch with yourself.
And if you are still unsure,
You can listen to the list again,
Until you feel satisfied with your understanding.
Maybe you realized that putting things into perspective,
The intensity feels already milder than before.
You are doing great.
We have reached the last step of our RAIN journey.
The non-identify or nurture.
This is a key step that,
If done right,
Will give you the calm,
Peace and closure you are looking for.
Especially if in the investigation step you realized you were addressing the anger towards yourself.
To do so,
I want you to go back with your mind to the acceptance phase,
When you identified the part of your body that was more affected or representative of your feeling.
I would then like you to recall what was the new label you gave to anger of the ones we investigated together.
And once you have that word,
You should mentally place it on the part of your body affected by it.
Use your imagination to visualize it now.
Perfect.
Now take a long,
Deep breath through your nose.
Hold it.
And when you exhale through your mouth,
You will see the label slowly detaching from your body.
Like the air flowing away from you.
Carrying the heaviness of the feelings it represents.
And as it does,
You feel the area of your body is changing.
It feels lighter and lighter.
Do it again.
Inhale deeply.
Hold it.
And as you exhale,
The label moves even further away from your body part.
That feels restoring.
One last time.
Inhale deeply.
Hold it.
And now,
As you exhale slowly and see the label far away from you,
Mentally repeat.
I am not my feelings.
I am not my feelings.
I am only me.
And that's enough.
Remember this as we get closer to the end of this journey.
You can nurture this sense of freedom you have just created.
Be thankful to yourself for having taken the time to heal your mind today.
Reign is a process.
And it might not be as easy or straightforward to complete it in a few minutes.
The more frequently you practice it,
The more you will discover and harness its power.
I hope you are feeling better already.
And I hope to meet with you tomorrow to continue your journey into a better you.
Free of the burden of unwanted emotions.
All the best.
Till next time.
