Many times, I listen to a track once through while doing other, routine tasks, simply to get a feel for the style and if I need to make any modifications to it later due to physical and medical needs. The second play, if there is one, is a full-on practice with the recording.
However, there are occasions - and this is definitely one of them - where during my initial "half-listen," something about the track reaches out and stops me dead in my tracks, causing me to immediately direct my entire attention to the rest of the initial play. I enjoyed this track, as I do virtually everything Aaron has shared with the Insight Timer community. A question he asked here was key, the precise wording of which eludes me, but was along the lines of asking what it was that caused the fear of being seen.
Unbidden, my spirit and mind suddenly rose up and presented me with a visual memory sequence and words reminding me of that time, and I KNEW once again why this is the case. The difference here is that THIS time, the practice was focusing on this issue. The memories were not tangental to the practice in progress this time.
I stopped stone still and dropped where I was into one of the practice postures I favor, completing the practice AS a practice, not simply background information to be reviewed first. Even with only the last half or so of true practice here, this was exceptionally powerful and brought tears to my eyes. Images are still flashing through my mind of instances where I chose not to be seen but wanted to be, or times I was seen and was glad, but the negative feedback was something I was then ill-equipped to handle effectively, and so I shut down.
I've bookmarked and downloaded this track for repeat use. It touched my soul and my heart, and I felt at least one of those internal walls crack open just a little bit at last. Thank you so much for sharing this. I see the light in you. 🤲❤️🤲
