Welcome to the inner work of work.
My name is Stephanie Edward.
And today we are talking about resetting after a frustrating meeting.
Meetings can be frustrating for all kinds of reasons.
While I know we all wish they did not happen,
The reality is they do and they will continue to happen.
Frustrating meetings are not going anywhere.
We need to accept that frustrating meetings are going to happen from time to time.
They are a reality of work.
So we need to focus instead on how we get ourselves back on track after attending one.
The question then becomes,
How do we reset after a frustrating meeting?
The first thing to do is acknowledge that you are frustrated.
You are allowed to be frustrated.
Frustration is just a feeling.
Having feelings is part of being human.
They aren't going anywhere.
Feelings are not good.
They're not bad.
They just are.
Don't try to change the frustration at this point.
I know you probably wish you were not frustrated.
But you won't cease being frustrated until you consciously acknowledge that you are indeed frustrated.
Only once you acknowledge how you are feeling can you then work at letting that feeling go so you can get on with your day in a way that feels good for you.
Perhaps ironically,
The best way to let go of an emotion is to allow yourself to fully feel it.
So first you acknowledge that you're frustrated like we just talked about and then you let yourself feel that frustration fully.
This is different than rehashing what led to the frustration.
This is the tricky part.
Your mind will want to keep going back to the aspects of the meeting that made it frustrating.
You have to resist doing that because whenever you keep going back to thoughts about what made the meeting so frustrating in the first place,
You keep the emotion of frustration alive within you.
You have to be willing to let go of the frustration.
And to do that,
You have to be willing to move your focus away from thoughts about what made the meeting frustrating,
Even when those thoughts will appear so juicy and tempting to focus on.
Fully feeling an emotion,
In this case the emotion of frustration.
Is not about thinking about what happened.
It's about focusing on the physical sensations associated with that feeling.
So let me guide you through that now.
Close your eyes.
And breathe softly and smoothly through your nose or through your mouth.
It doesn't matter.
Take a moment to be with that frustration.
Welcome it in.
You're not trying to be with whatever from the meeting made you frustrated.
You're open to being with the emotion of frustration that you are experiencing right now.
You can even mentally say to yourself,
I'm frustrated.
It's okay that I am frustrated.
Now focus on where you can physically sense the frustration in your body.
We do feel emotions in different parts of our bodies.
And we can notice where we feel them when we take a moment to pay attention.
So do that now.
Think about where in your body you were feeling this frustration from that meeting.
Is it in your jaw?
Do you feel it in your stomach?
Is it in your shoulders?
Is it in your chest?
There is no right or wrong answer here.
You are merely noticing where you feel the frustration.
Sometimes emotions move around in our bodies and that's okay too.
Don't try to change it.
Just notice it.
Oh,
That's interesting.
It was in my jaw.
Now I feel it in my shoulders.
All you have to do is continue to breathe softly and smoothly and focus on the physical sensations of that frustration.
At this point,
It is very likely that your thoughts about the frustrating meeting will have already tried to muscle their way into your awareness.
I want to remind you that this is normal.
This is okay.
When that happens.
Gently bring your attention back to wherever in your body you feel that frustration.
Let's take this a step further.
And as you continue to breathe softly and smoothly,
If it's comfortable for you,
I want you to imagine breathing into wherever it is in your body that you feel that frustration.
Imagine you are filling that space with each breath in.
And if your frustration is indeed moving around your body,
That's okay.
Just breathe into each place where you detect it.
There's really no right or wrong way of doing this.
By focusing on not only the physical sensation of the feeling,
But also directing your breathing to it,
You're making it just a little bit harder for your thoughts to take over.
Continue with those soft,
Slow,
Smooth breaths in and out.
I now invite you to direct your inhalation to your belly.
It doesn't matter if that's where you feel your frustration or not.
Breathe deeply into your belly.
Take deep belly breaths.
Let your belly expand with every breath in.
This is not the time to be worried about sucking it in.
Deep belly breathing helps to regulate our nervous system.
And that helps our body process our feelings,
Including our feelings of frustration,
So that we can move past it.
So take several soft but deep belly breaths here,
Returning your attention to your breathing and your belly whenever those thoughts about that frustrating meeting try to muscle their way in.
As you take those deep belly breaths,
See if you can still notice that feeling of frustration in your body.
And I invite you to think about how you would describe,
Physically describe that frustration.
Would you give it a colour?
Would you give it a texture?
A shape?
A weight?
Again,
There is no right or wrong answer here.
What you are doing is trying to keep your mind busy with describing the feeling rather than focusing on the meeting itself.
So take a few moments here to continue with that deep belly breathing.
Describing the feeling of the frustration.
And staying with that emotion.
You can leave your eyes closed.
But I will invite you now to return to your natural breathing.
Spend a couple of moments here just breathing in normally and breathing out normally.
And when you're ready,
You can slowly open your eyes.
And take stock of how you are feeling.
As you go on with your day,
Remember,
Frustrating meetings are going to happen.
It is okay for you to feel frustrated.
It is just a feeling.
But that feeling does not have to dictate how the rest of your day will go.
You can move past the frustration,
But you have to be willing to do so.
So acknowledging that you're frustrated and then sitting and being fully with that feeling of frustration will help your body process it so you can move forward in your day in a way that feels good for you.
Thank you for joining me on the Inner Work of Work.
I'm Stephanie Edward,
And I look forward to next time.
