Niko called his uncle because there was no one else left to call.
Come by,
Uncle Raphael said with a mix of warmth and wisdom.
Bring whatever you're carrying and we'll make it lighter or learn to lift it.
Niko drove the couple of hours to Raphael's house and sat at the kitchen table that had held a thousand family memories.
The full spectrum from smiles to tears.
The kettle hissed,
The smell of ginger cookies warmed the air.
It felt like his childhood without the pain.
Raphael poured tea and let the quiet do the first part of the work.
You think one moment made you this man,
He finally said,
But it doesn't.
Many moments add up.
The ones you speak of along with the ones your body remembers.
I broke my brother,
Niko said.
He'll likely never speak to me again and I put Lauren in a position.
You didn't put her anywhere,
Raphael cut in gently.
Two people collided with their old wounds.
This is not something you alone are responsible for,
Niko stared into his cup.
I keep seeing Nathan's face.
Raphael nodded.
Of course you do.
He's your brother.
I remember hearing about the day he stepped in front of your father's hands.
You both came out of that house carrying wounds that aren't yours to carry.
I think there were many painful things you absorbed from my brother.
Maybe one of the worst is believing that wanting more makes you dangerous.
So you punish yourself by leaving first.
Think back,
Niko.
When you and Lauren were together the first time,
What drove you away wasn't lack of love.
It was more fear of becoming him.
Niko felt the words settle like a stone in his chest.
The leaving.
The way he crawled into darkness after his father died.
Unable to hold the truth.
Letting it shatter what had mattered most.
The weight of the truth.
Spoken by someone who loved him.
Had known him from the beginning.
Felt like a balm that began a deep inner healing.
I understand what you're saying,
Uncle Raph.
But honestly,
I don't know what to do now.
I really don't.
You do the thing our family never did,
Raphael said.
You stay.
You tell the truth without blaming,
Hiding,
Or running.
You love with your whole heart and you accept that your brother will hate you until he doesn't.
Niko inhaled long and slow,
Silently questioning if he could really do that.
Call me again tomorrow,
Raphael added,
Almost casually.
Pain softens when it's carried together.
Still inhaled long and slow,
Silently questioning if he could really do that.
Call me again tomorrow,
Raphael added.
Pain softens when it's carried together.
Secrets lose their teeth when spoken often.
You are not alone in this.
He caught the pain in his uncle's eyes.
There are so many times I should have stepped in when you two were boys.
I just didn't know how to approach my brother.
And I think you and Nathan carry scars that I should have.
His voice broke and his gaze remained glued to the floor.
Uncle Raph,
There was so much that none of us really knew.
You and I both knew dad wouldn't have responded well if you tried to step in or say anything.
We both know that's true.
It's not your fault.
There was a silent strength that passed between them.
A sincere understanding that was way beyond what was built up in the past.
Niko carried it with him on the drive home,
Windows down,
Wind in his hair,
With the time to let it settle in all that his beloved uncle had shared.
The drive home quickly passed.
He felt a little disappointed to be pulling into his driveway,
Coming back into his life that felt so overwhelming on his own.
