So meditation again means cultivating,
Becoming more familiar with something.
So basically it deals with the mind.
That's the object of the meditation.
Because the mind needs to become more optimal,
So it doesn't deal with physical fitness.
So we need first for any meditation,
Suppose we want to cultivate loving kindness.
We first need a proper tool.
The mind has to be reasonably calm,
Reasonably clear.
Calm by means more like stable.
So how we do that?
We try to improve our faculty of settling the mind.
We don't want to stop the thoughts.
It's not going to happen anyway.
It will never work.
We don't want just to empty our mind.
This is a strange idea that we should blank our mind.
Just let the thoughts come and go,
But at least a little more stable mind.
Not just like a restless monkey.
And a little more clear mind.
So for that we do usually very simple attention or vigilance exercise or techniques.
You can concentrate on something.
One good technique that is used often is focusing on the going and coming of the breath.
Because the breath cannot be seen.
It's a very subtle feeling.
It's subtle enough.
It's a good sort of criteria to see if you are distracted or not.
If you remain mindful of the coming and going of the breath.
So we just sit in a balanced posture.
It doesn't have to be with full cross legs.
But if you have two legs,
You probably get a good nap.
Or if you are too tense,
It agitates the mind.
So just a balanced way.
Your hands can be on your knees,
Can be there.
Whatever feels comfortable and sort of harmonious.
And then you just breathe in and out,
Really from the nose.
And feel the breathing is coming out.
Breathing is coming in.
And just keep your mind on that.
It's pretty silly,
But it's very subtle.
If your mind wanders,
Then you don't see it at all.
So it's a good reminder of whether you have been wandering or not.
And then if your mind does wander,
And then suddenly say,
Oh I have been distracted.
Don't be discouraged.
The thing that the very fact that you say,
Oh I have been distracted,
Your mindfulness is back.
Don't add to it by saying,
Oh it's so bad.
I can't meditate.
Just focus again on the breath and that's it.
We'll do that for a few seconds.
Then we'll see how we can use that,
Say,
For our sense to cultivate loving kindness.
But just start with watching the breath.
The eyes don't have to be closed.
They can be if you like.
But usually we keep it half open and just sort of panoramic gazing.
Not focus on anything special.
We don't need to stop the outer perceptions.
You don't have to control the breath.
It might slow down naturally.
It might accelerate.
You just notice it.
But you don't do anything special.
So you can imagine that you could do that for ten minutes.
Now two obstacles might come.
One is dullness.
If you're bored,
You think.
One is excitement.
You get distracted.
So in both cases,
You can either relax or revive your posture,
Your mind,
Calming down or make it more awake.
So use skillful antidotes.
Now let's say that we did that for ten minutes.
The mind is a little bit more stable,
A little bit more clear.
So now we can move to say cultivating loving kindness.
So to begin with,
It's like when you start sailing a boat,
You begin with fine weather like today.
And then slowly you can sail in more rough weather.
So then in the beginning,
If you want to cultivate loving kindness,
It's easier to bring to the mind the image of someone who is very dear to you.
You don't have to make huge efforts to feel some loving kindness to that person.
So let's imagine someone who is very dear to you.
You only wish good things to that person.
And then fill your mind with this benevolence,
With this loving kindness.
Just may that person be safe.
May that person be happy.
May that person have fulfillment.
May that person be healthy.
And so forth.
And then let your mind be filled with that sort of kindness,
Good heartedness.
So this is not something new.
We know about that.
But usually it comes and goes.
It's soon replaced by other mental states.
And here,
Imagine that we do that for 10,
15 minutes.
When it declines,
We revive it.
When we are distracted,
We come back to it.
So again and again,
You fill your mind with loving kindness.
That is what practice is.
Practice,
Practice,
Practice.
Again and again.
And that's how change comes about.
Not just fleeting thoughts.
You don't train in anything without some kind of perseverance and familiarization.
So now,
As a last exercise,
Imagine that you could feel that naturally,
Spontaneously for someone who is dear.
Someone who wishes you good.
But after all,
Every sentient being,
None of them wants to suffer.
Everyone will like to find some happiness.
So why not being concerned as well with strangers?
With obnoxious people who create suffering,
But they're also completely confused.
And to wish them good is not to wish them success in their terrible endeavors,
But to wish them to change.
To wish them that their hatred will diminish,
That their indifference will not be anymore.
So you can extend that.
So let's try it in that way.
Because loving kindness and compassion are not reward for good behavior.
The absence is not a punishment.
Loving kindness applies to all beings and compassion to all kinds of suffering,
Wherever it may be,
Whatever forms it takes.
It's not a moral judgment,
That's something else.
So let's try to extend from the dear person to a stranger and to more difficult persons.
Are you happy now?
So you see,
If we were to do that over some period of time,
Again and again,
This is something we don't do in daily life.
We do that for physical fitness,
We do that for any other kind of skills like art,
Sports,
And so forth.
We rarely do that for the mind.
So that's only difference.
But the principle of training is the same.
So you see,
Nothing mysterious about it,
But still,
You need to practice.
So that's the basis.
Mattia,
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us this evening and inspiring us.
I found that incredibly powerful.
And just that sense of calm that comes to a busy,
Noisy room in a moment like that gives us a taste of what you and others have been doing for many,
Many decades of your lives.
A wonderful,
Inspiring talk,
And thank you from all of us.
Thank you to all of you for coming this evening.
It's been quite a hot,
Humid evening tonight,
But it's been wonderful having you all here.
Please do stay in touch with us if you're not already a member of Action for Happiness.
Please come and find out more at our website.
You will have seen that we were very kindly provided some free drinks from a company called Feel Good this evening.
We've got plenty of those left,
So please feel free to take some of those for yourselves,
For your friends,
For family,
And so on.
There's lots left in the reception.
Thank you again for coming.
Thank you again to Mattia,
And we'll hopefully see you again very soon.
Thanks.
Thank you.
