Look in your hand,
There's something glowing there,
A small black coal,
It's the memory you keep turning over in your mind.
The thing they said,
The way they made you feel small,
You've carried it so long,
It almost feels like it belongs to you now,
But it burns,
Doesn't it,
Quietly,
Every time you replay it,
This is resentment,
The coal we grip.
Take this moment to feel its weight in your hand and in your heart,
We tell ourselves it keeps us safe,
That if we hold it long enough,
They'll finally understand what they did,
But resentment doesn't protect us,
It just keeps the wound alive.
Take a breath,
Slow and honest,
Feel where the coal lives in your body,
The chest,
Be still here for a few breaths and simply notice where it rests inside you,
Don't run from it,
Don't make it holy either,
Just look at it,
People I said I forgave,
But still caught myself building small altars of anger to them in my mind,
In truth,
To see what I was really doing,
I wasn't protecting myself,
I was punishing myself,
Whole seasons of life stitched together and one day I had to face the truth,
She wasn't coming with me anymore,
The resentment burned deep,
It cost me sleep,
Peace,
I started learning how to set it down,
Not all at once,
Just one ember at a time,
Let whatever memories rise and see if you can feel even a slight loosening,
Holding resentment is like trying to fight a ghost and you only hit yourself,
Each breath is a small mercy,
Now if you can see the one who hurt you,
Not their power,
Their weakness,
The fear beneath what they did,
You don't have to excuse them,
Whisper to yourself,
I release the fire that burns only me,
Stay quiet with that for a few breaths,
Maybe a tear comes,
Maybe nothing does,
Both are okay,
Every time you notice that cold,
You have a choice,
Grip it tighter,
Even if it's just one ember at a time,
You're not forgiving to make them comfortable,
You're forgiving because you're done being burned,
Stillness is rebellion,
Peace is within,
Compassion is a weapon,
Carry all,
Next up,
The truth we bury,
Where we face self-deception and learn how to stop hiding from our own light.
