The Dharma Of Being Different: Colors Of The Lotus

The Dharma of being different.

I grew up knowing what it means to be different.

Not in a way that made me shine,

But in a way that burned.

As a kid,

It felt like carrying coals inside my chest,

Anger and numbness tangled together.

Adoption.

No family history.

No map of who I was.

Just the shadows.

Society didn't know what to do with me,

So it placed me on the margins.

I didn't choose the outcasts,

The rogues,

The so-called rejects.

But that's where I was placed.

And when you live there long enough,

The wound becomes normal.

It shows up in the body like tension,

Like rage,

Like silence that grows sharp.

It shows up in choices,

Gangs,

Survival,

Always searching for belonging.

There came a shift to looking inward instead of outward.

I started to see that everything I thought made me broken.

Everything that kept me outside the circle was actually the very thing that gave me vision.

The wound was not just pain,

It was training.

Silence taught me to listen.

Suffering taught me to hold space.

Being different taught me compassion.

If I had to name my lotus,

At first it was black.

Formed by trauma,

Shadow,

Survival.

But light came in.

And black became silver.

Silver means the wound still glimmers,

But it also reflects.

And every lotus has a color.

Every scar is a teaching.

Your difference is not your punishment,

It is your offering to the world.

Maybe your lotus is dark,

Born of trauma.

Maybe it shines because you survived addiction.

Maybe it carries the colors of being queer,

Or trans,

Or neurodivergent.

Maybe your petals hold the weight of being autistic,

Or living with a disability.

Maybe it is shaped by being told you are too much,

Or not enough.

And maybe,

Just maybe,

Your lotus is not one color at all.

Maybe it shifts,

Dark in some seasons,

Bright in others.

Maybe your true color has changed itself.

Every shade is sacred.

Every difference belongs in this field of dark.

So if you feel outside,

If you feel unseen,

If you feel strange,

Remember this.

The lotus blooms in mud.

And so do you.