Hello everyone,
I hope you're having a good day.
What I want to talk about today is something I think we all feel at some point.
It starts as love,
A good intention,
The hope to help,
To be here,
To guide,
To protect.
But sometimes,
That love becomes something else,
Something heavier,
Something that quietly begins to push people away,
Instead of bringing them closer.
We all want to be helpful,
To ease someone's burden,
To offer what we've learned from our own struggles,
To give what we wish someone had given us.
It often starts with care,
With warmth,
With the desire to do good,
But sometimes,
Without even realizing it,
Our love turns into control,
Our support turns into pressure,
Our guidance starts to sound like judgment,
And the space between us and the person we love widens.
There's something we don't talk about enough,
That love has layers.
There's the kind of love that uplifts,
That sees the other person as whole,
Even in their mess,
Even in their struggle,
Their trust,
Their timing,
Their path,
Their voice,
And then there's the kind of love that wants to fix,
That wants to shape,
That says if you just did what I'm telling you,
You'd feel better.
One heals,
The other controls.
It's hard to admit when we're doing the second one,
Because our intentions feel pure.
We don't mean to control,
We mean to protect,
To help,
To keep someone from falling.
But love doesn't always mean doing something,
Sometimes it just means being there,
Sitting in the silence,
Holding space without needing to feel it.
Have you ever tried to help someone truly,
Deeply,
And ended up feeling like their bad guy?
Or worse?
Have you watched someone you love pull away,
Because your help started to feel like pressure?
Here's something that changed the way I think about love completely.
You are not responsible for someone else's transformation,
You are not here to fix them,
You are not here to lead their path,
You are here to walk beside them,
When they let you,
And love them,
Even if they choose something different than you would.
That kind of love is rare,
Because it requires surrender,
It requires trust,
It requires you to love without needing to be needed.
Sometimes we offer help,
And it lands wrong,
Not because the help was bad,
But because it wasn't invited.
You can't give advice someone didn't ask for and expect it to heal them.
You can't impose care,
You can't force service.
Even love,
When uninvited,
Can feel like intrusion,
Before you speak,
Pause,
Before you ask,
Before you offer,
Listen.
Love that is received is love that is remembered,
But love that is pushed becomes noise,
It creates resistance instead of connection.
There's a humility in learning to wait,
To let someone come to you,
To trust that their inner knowing is as sacred as yours,
And when they do come,
When they ask for help,
You offer it with open hand,
Not a clenched heart.
Just presence,
Just love,
Just stillness,
And if they don't ask,
If they keep making choices that hurt or confuse you or worry you,
You love them anyway,
From the distance they need,
With the softness they can receive,
With the trust that their path is unfolding even if it doesn't look the way you imagined.
Because control,
No matter how soft it sounds,
Is not love,
It's fear dressed as help.
Can you let someone be fully themselves even if it breaks your heart?
Can you love without shipping?
Can you hold space without stepping in?
This week,
Try this,
Ask yourself,
Is this love or is this fear in disguise?
Pause before offering advice.
When you do speak,
Speak gently and without needing to be right.
If someone says no or shows you they are not ready,
Honor that.
Let your love be a whisper,
Not a weight.
Let it be a river,
Not a rope.
Let it be something they walk toward,
Not something they run from.
Now,
Let's take a moment to return to your breath,
To your body,
To your own energy.
Let's shift into quiet presence.
Close your eyes,
If that feels right,
And take a gentle breath in and out,
Again,
In and out.
Let the breath soften you.
Let your shoulders drop.
Let your jaw unclench.
Let your belly breathe.
You are safe here.
Nothing needs to be fixed.
No one needs to be helped right now.
There is just you in this quiet moment.
Now,
Gently bring someone to mind,
Someone you love deeply,
Someone you may have been trying to help or guide or protect.
Notice what rises in your body without judgment.
Maybe it's tenderness,
Maybe it's frustration,
Maybe it's fear.
Just notice.
Now,
Offer them this,
I trust your path,
I release you from my need to ship it.
I love you as you are.
Let that settle into your heart.
Let it echo through your breath.
You don't have to carry anyone.
You don't have to solve their story.
You just have to love,
Softly,
Quietly,
Freely.
Now,
Bring that love back to yourself.
Place a gentle hand on your chest if you like and say silently,
I release the pressure I place on myself.
I return to trust.
Take one last deep breath in and out.
When you're ready,
You can slowly open your eyes,
Bring movement back into your body and return to your day a little softer,
A little lighter.
Thank you for being here.
May your day be blessed.
