I realise underneath my anger and my fear is pain and sorrow.
Some of it is this life,
But some of it isn't.
And it's like,
It's like,
How do I heal this?
How does this heal?
What I'm just trying to do,
Just to try and find forgiveness.
I've realised how much pain and sorrow and sadness is there.
Got my anger and my fear here,
And then underneath it is pain,
Sorrow and sadness.
All my life I've had this overwhelming sadness.
So that's kind of what happens,
We get used to it.
And there's no criticism of this,
It's our normal.
So actually to let it go is a challenge because we're so used to it.
Yeah,
I want to just feel into what you're saying.
You see,
Sweetie,
Yes to everything you're saying.
It's not solvable,
It's not solvable,
Thinking like this.
You're attracted to the pain and it's like this,
This is to transcend out of it.
It's like you are divine being in human form.
This is,
You're a divine being in human form and you are made out of love.
That is the truth.
And you come and you,
Yeah,
You have these lives and there's patterns.
Yeah,
But the truth is you are an immortal,
Eternal being.
And I feel like you don't know how to let that be true for you.
You don't know how to allow that to sort of come in or make sense to you or.
.
.
I feel that the way through this for me is to first find forgiveness.
Do you know what forgiveness feels like?
Have you done it before?
No.
You know,
It's very hard for me to know what to say to you.
When were you happiest?
When my son was a baby.
Yeah,
I can imagine.
I always think that is what the silence within feels like.
That's the closest thing in my experience to when you move into silence.
It's just like how a mother is with a new baby,
How expanded her heart is,
Her love is flowing.
She knows what the baby needs before the baby even has to squawk.
You know,
The communion is fantastic.
That's the closest thing to what your soul feels like.
Underneath all of this stuff,
May this peace come up and bathe you in it a bit.
Underneath all of the pain and sorrow,
There's something else.
I just don't know what it is,
But I'm hopeful there is something else.
Yeah.
Right.
I can feel it.
Your capacity for motherhood and the compassion in you underneath everything.
And that's very strong in you.
And this is where I wanted to get to.
Yeah.
And if I can feel it,
It's nothing for you to do.
It's just,
You know,
There's nothing for you to do,
Really.
Your face looks sort of sweeter and more innocent,
More like a child in the best way than it has done.
So it's all good.
No,
It's just like there's no point fighting it.
It's like,
Okay.
I mean,
This work is to help people weave their soul in.
And sometimes just hearing the words will do it.
You don't have to do anything.
Just knowing it's possible.
Yeah.
You see,
Yeah,
Part of you feels it's not safe.
This is what we're like.
We've been disappointed and hurt so often that it's sort of like,
Oh,
I don't know.
Well,
But the thing is,
It's the only way to get out of this stuff is if you let yourself feel the compassion that your soul has for you right now,
As we're talking,
It's your compassionate witness.
Your soul will be witnessing you being sad.
Yeah,
It has immense understanding of why things are this way and immense compassion.
And may this sort of percolate into yourselves in a very organic,
Gradual,
Highest good pace way.
I'm willing to let my heart open.
I'm willing,
You know,
Like today,
I went for a walk in the park.
I was just saying to myself,
I forgive and I let love in.
There you go.
That's it.
That's exactly it.
Good.
That's it.
And that's to,
You know,
To forgive everything,
Really.
Yeah,
Really.
That's good.
That's it.
That's it.
Just keep doing it.
Yeah.
Yeah,
Good work.
Yeah,
It's slow,
But it works.
It's great.