I Just Want To Love This Life

1:16:38

1:16:38

I Just Want To Love This Life

by Premasudha Janet Hobbs

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5

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talks

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Meditation

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Experienced

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25

Today's satsang emphasized the importance of a heartfelt connection to the Creator. When we are willing to see our own frailties and take them to the Source/Amma, along with our own difficulties in life, and ask for help, then we are opening to be healed. The Creator/Amma waits for us to open in this way, like a sad, desperate little child who needs love and help. Amma says it is Her duty to help Her children who come to Her. We are never alone. Remember, our journey is run by something beyond us that understands us and knows what we need. This "something" is beyond our intellects, so often all we can do is keep yearning for and talking to God/Amma and wait upon divine timing. So many sages say: Pray and Don't Worry. And remember, saying our mantra and focusing on gratitude really accelerate our progress, as well as having relationships with spiritual giants like Amma. Amma says satsang with awakened teachers is one of the most helpful things we can do for ourselves in the journey.

Meet your Teacher

Premasudha Janet Hobbs

North Vancouver, BC, Canada

Meet your Teacher

Premasudha Janet Hobbs

North Vancouver, BC, Canada

Transcript

We're calling for grace. Amma's grace, The Creator's grace. Let it fill you. It's warm. It's in the air. You're made out of it. We're surrounded by it. We are all in the Creator's energy. We just lose touch of this, But we can come back to it when we open to grace. You deserve it. It's your birthright. There is no measurement for grace. You especially get it when you need it, But it's always there, And all you have to do is just say, Yes, Please come. Please come. I open to you. The Creator so wants to get through to us. Amma so wants us to feel how loved we are. And may we all make a big shift today. How about it? Why not? Why not? Let's do it. Yeah, So it is. That's the way it happens, You know. Why not? Yeah, Because a lot of you have put in a lot of spiritual effort, And some of you are in pain. No? And we get relief. We get relief, You guys. I mean, This is proven to me over and over and over. I mean, Premised at this point, You know, I had a big experience of grace today. A huge one. Just huge. Off the charts. A big, Huge surprise. Yeah, It's something I, You know, I thought when it happened, I thought, You know, You couldn't make this up. Like, It was just so wonderful. Just keep going. I want to talk about, I want to talk a lot about what's keeping you stuck. And I'm speaking it with the understanding that the words are carrying the energy to help you become less stuck. Yeah, That's how this work works. Because in the unconscious, When a light is shone on resistances, They're busted, You guys. They get busted. They dissolve. Yeah, So I'm feeling into all of your energies. You know, Spiritual teachers, You know, Spiritual teachers can sort of step back and speak really abstractly. And a lot of people are very comfortable in that kind of climate because they can listen. And they, You know, Their egos are telling them that they, You know, They've turned up, They're doing the right thing. But it is possible for not much to change, Too. I've seen this over and over. So I never have wanted to work like that. I always wanted to be someone who, When people spent time in my company, That they transformed. Right. And, You know, When I point out things like places where you're stuck, The energy coming through Prama Sutta, As well as just the creator, Amma in the air, You guys, Many of you are Amma devotees. That provides the energy to heal it. Do you understand? It's not just a diagnosis. It is words that are carrying the energy of the healing. Basically, All you have to do is just relax. Listen. And if something, You know, If a penny drops, Give thanks. And if the penny doesn't drop, It'll drop in the future, Or you can have a dream after tonight. The journey gets done by something beyond you. And it has a timeline of its own that you are not in control of. And, You know, Many sages say the most powerful thing you can do is yearn. Yearn to know the creator. Yearn to feel Amma with you all the time. Amma was recently speaking, It was about the wheelchair theme that I spoke of a couple of weeks ago, And she talked about this little child who was in a wheelchair, Who spent her life looking at the sky, Waiting for rainbows, Yearning for rainbows, Waiting for rainbows. And sometimes her mom would even drive her to this, To this top of a big, Big hill, Mountain really, When the conditions were good for rainbows to be able to see them, And the two of them would wait for the rainbow. The rainbow is union of heaven and earth, Rain and sun, The union of opposites. And Amma told this story, And, You know, I cannot speak for her, But what I thought she was saying, Based on how, What she's communicated to me, Is that is the best way to live, Looking for the creator like that. Or I've talked to you before about blue moments, Where you have this moment where you just connect up with truth. You just know, Like a blue moment, A moment that's multi-layered. It changes you. You know, Déjà vu is like a blue moment. You know that feeling déjà vu? It doesn't have to be déjà vu. It could be just like something clicking, The penny dropping. Okay, Good. You guys are all willing to come, To move beyond your heads, Or you wouldn't, You wouldn't be here. Remember, I talked about the wheelchairs, And Amma said that there were these invisible wheelchairs that people were in. And I was so pleased she put words to the image, Because, As I said, When I entered the hospital, When I was, You know, Psychologically disorganized, I saw this wheelchair, And it was shooting sparks. And I tapped in enough to the creator energy to know that, To be able to witness, To know that it wasn't really shooting sparks, That I was hallucinating. And I, Very strongly, It came to me that I was so angry, I was crippled. I was so angry deep inside, It was crippling me. So angry at my deeper self. Yeah, So judgmental. And Amma talked about that. She said it was a lack of mental strength that kept people in their wheelchairs. Okay, You guys, The lack of mental strength comes because you're so hard on yourselves. You think negative thoughts about yourself. You know, If Amma talked about, Got a group of people who habitually went to this tree and got angry at it, And the biologists measured the tree, And the tree would actually start shaking when the people approached. And finally, Its roots started losing strength, And it fell over. Okay, So this is, You know, If we're spending time with people who are angry and speak badly to us, But I want to focus on what you do inside. Because that's where I can't get to, You know? Right. And if you, As a result of this satsang, Pause or witness, Witness. See what you do. And maybe pause and go, Hmm, I don't have to do this. You guys, I'm speaking from direct experience. Prama Sutta used to be small, Because I don't know whether it was my Virgo nature. Anyway, I had so much negative self-talk, And it kept me so small. And as I stopped, Saw it, And stopped, I got bigger and bigger and bigger. And nobody can do this for us. And some of you have known me for a long time, And you hold on to it, Like it's a fixture of your personality, And it's not. It's just a bad habit. But really, It's keeping you in a wheelchair. I mean, Even just catching yourself and go, I don't have to do this. It's really, Really, Really important. Really, Really, Really, Like, Absolutely key to your journey. Because that is how you learn to love the Creator within you. You stop beating the Creator up. And when you're losing, When you're moving through a complex and it's lifting, The inner darkness, The self-battering, Will get intense just before it lets go. There's a couple of you who are in pretty much dark nights of the soul, And have been really battered. And just when it gets so intense, It starts to lift. And that is how you become free of your ego. It's not kind of, It's a little bit like, Ah, How do I put it? It's not just finding, Choosing constructive thoughts. And, You know, Also, With the whole thing about thoughts, I personally, I don't think it's a good idea to push yourself around too much. I think it's much better to be able to witness negative thoughts. That's most important. And if you can find the energy to replace them, Or even better, Say your mantra, That's the best. It's funny, There's a lot of warmth wanting to come through. And it feels like it needs more preparations. Your heart needs more preparation. Don't do anything with that. Just hear it. It's not a false thing or anything. There's some big moments in the spiritual journey where it just dawns on you, I don't have to do this anymore. You guys know this is very deep work. I feel like there's so much spiritual confusion going on, Because we're all scared of the journey. So it's so much easier to just stay kind of, Do it in a superficial way that pleases your ego. But some of you know, Have noticed that it doesn't lead anywhere, Right? So you can do it for five years, 10 years, 15 years sometimes, And it's like, Well, Things haven't really changed. It's funny, There's a lot of sweetness wanting to come. And I'm aware of what I'm saying isn't sweet, Particularly. You guys, You know, Bottom line, If you want to evolve, You have to be prepared for a dark night of the soul, Because that is what kills your ego. And if you don't want to do a dark night of the soul, You will stay in your ego. Okay, So there we are. That's it. Yeah. Now, If you are sincere in the journey, And you, You know, You go, Okay, Well, If it comes, I can walk through a dark night of the soul. If you have that attitude, It brings a lot of light to your experience. Because you can actually be aware that you're in it. And then some light comes in. Yeah. This is what I'm, You know, Hoping that, That the group can feel enough support that you can really, You know, Do the journey and know that you'll be okay. I mean, You've got Ama, So of course, You'll be okay. But, You know, There are periods of real trouble. There are a couple of people who are seriously ill. There are a couple of people who are in dark nights of their soul. Yeah. And I want to make sure everybody's needs are taken care of. In the dark night of the soul, It is what takes you beyond duality. Okay, If you go deep enough, You get to get to the union of opposites, You get to dark and light, You get to cold and hot, You experience the union of opposites. So they're not really separate. When you're in the ego, They're separate. When you go deeper, You experience that, You know, It's kind of like everything is one, You experience the union of these opposites. It's why, You know, Where paradoxical intention comes from. It's like war is the worst thing. But if you look at wars, There's often a great leap forward in cultural development, Like, You know, After World War Two, There was a lot of information that came out of the war, That actually helped the society, You know, Develop, Like, Where a lot of our inventions came from. There's the expression of unintended consequences. You know, Sometimes, You know, A country will go in there to do something good. And it backfires, Causes trouble, And they were just trying to do good. This is woven all through our lives. It's the same where, You know, You can have a situation where people have, Like, In Britain, There's, Like, Six generations on welfare. That's when trying to help hurts. There's the union of opposites. There's a paradoxical paradox. Any mum, You know, Tries to be a good mum. And sometimes we, You know, A woman can, Well, We can say over coddle our kids, Or, You know, Trying to be a good mum. It's like, All these things, Or, I mean, I'm being a bit sexist with this, You know, A dad, In the old days, In my generation, The dads would, You know, They might throw you in the water, Teach you how to swim. They might throw you in the deep end. You know, It's like, Okay, So some children would really rise to that. But some children might have a phobia of water for the rest of their lives. I'm wanting you to look at your experience. And this is where I find the hardest walls in you guys. When, Remember, Gabriel said, Came in all his splendor. He said, Tell them to look inside. And he also said to me, Teach them to live like you do. To embody. You guys are at all kinds of levels and experience. Somebody was telling me how unfixable they felt. And that is exactly a place on the journey, You guys. I have felt like that so many times. Just like, It's not fixable. And you know what? I would just live with it. Just live with it. And it would change. This is, Okay, This is a big message of today. I can feel it. See, If you're really sincere on the journey, What will happen is your soul goes to work on your behalf. Your unconscious goes to work and help you. It's like the elves in the fairy tale. And you just grow out of things. The more sincere you are in, The more your heart is set on learning how to love. Learning to bring in Amma's energy. To live like Amma. The more your heart is set on that, The more it will gradually happen. Just like kids grow. And in a way, For teaching on the journey, It's just a matter of reassuring you enough that you don't beat yourself up with your thoughts. You know what I mean? Reassuring you enough that you don't spend your lives going endlessly in your heads. Really. You know, Who is that? I can't remember the sage. But it's what Amma says too. It's like, You know, Do your sadhana. Do your spiritual practices. You know, Seek to love and don't worry. That's it. That's it. You will get exactly where you're meant to get in this life. Remember? All choreographed. By something beyond you. I'll tell you, If you've got an agreement, Say, To meet your true love, Doesn't matter what happens. You will meet him or her. You totally will. It would be impossible for you not to. Abraham used to say, You could be standing on the moon. And if you had a crucial agreement, You know, In your life, You had to turn up somewhere or get some insight. You would be moved from the moon to the earth. Yeah. Good. This is, You guys, You know, I talk about the childhood and the lack of bonding. So what happens is little kids take stuff on their shoulders. And they try to figure out stuff with their heads. And they're often trying to save Mama. Yeah. You know, When I say things to you, What I'm wanting, I'm really wanting, And I realize I haven't spelled this out. I want you to take it home and think about it. Take it deep inside and think about. So I was telling somebody, You know, That they were over and over again, Unacknowledged in their childhood. And this person hasn't taken it home to digest it and to look at their life and kind of see the connection between how they feel and what happens to them and this early state. What happens, And it's happened so much with people I've worked with, They'll use what I say as a flag. Well, They've got, Well, I wasn't loved properly, And they'll just sit with it. And it's like, It's not healable that way. You have to feel it. And you have to invite the loving from the Creator. You have to do that. And, You know, We can get hugs from Mama, Or we can, You know, Get even body work from Pramasutra, But it's like, If a person hasn't opened to that, I can't even reach them in the body work. It's the innocence of the child who goes, I just want to love this life. And who knows that they'll get the help to do it. Yeah, It's that, You guys. You can't help but get the help to do it, If you sincerely open. It's like Amma says that, You know, If there is a person who's come to her on the journey, It is her duty to help them. Like, If they're sincere, It's her duty to help. She has no choice. The Creator has no choice. Do you understand this? Except to help you. Yeah. That's good. I'm feeling some movement. That's it. You're all so adorable. You're so deserving of love. It's your birthright, And you came here to heal. Yeah. And you will only get what you can handle. You guys, I want to talk again about the wheelchairs, And I really want you to hear what I'm saying to you. You guys, Many of you have a lot of energy around making money, Like doing what you have to do to make money. And you will do those things. But when it comes to the things that will help you connect up to your soul, You often just let it drop. You're passive. You just go passive. You don't take an action. And it's like, Well, Guess what's going to happen? I mean, Guess what the Creator goes? Well, They're not very sincere. They don't really want it. Really, You guys, And this is where you have to look at how you live your lives. I can't. You look at your choices. You look in a day what you do, Really. How much of yourself that maybe you give up. When you could do it all, You could take time for yourself, Take care of your soul, Plus make money. But this is the wheelchair. It's like, You know, And the ego will go like, You start, You know, Often when we start taking care of ourselves, The ego goes like, Don't do this, Not allowed. Like, Just keep going. Just keep doing. Like, The thing is, You know, I always want to be close to Abraham. I want to be close to Amma. Like, It's so understandable. But it's like, If you want to be close to Pramasutra, It's like, Put what she teaches in action, Then you'll get really close to me. If you know yourself from the inside, You will know Amma and Pramasutra. Because we're all one, You guys. Amma and Pramasutra are inside you. You guys are inside me. This is how I know what's happening with you often. I will feel you inside me. And during the, Even during the week. And we all, You guys, All of us have habitual places where we drop the ball, Where we do the same thing over and over and over. You just have to like, Pick yourself up and be gentle with yourself. Take it to Amma. I've done it again. I think Britney Spears has a song, Like, I've done it again, Or something. It's true, We do. It's just like, You know, You just, You know, Have compassion. If you really want to know what love is, You just try again. Remember, I've told you about the houses and the teacher and the 70 huts. He had all the students build huts and he'd criticize them and they'd, You know, They'd all drop out. But at the 70th hut, There was one student left, And he built it with perfect presence. The teacher praised him, And he didn't even care because he knew he was in the zone. I mean, He knew that he touched in the crater. So it was great. The teacher validated him, But he didn't need it because he'd access that within himself. That's it. That's it. You just do your best. Remember, You just get brought to it. St. Therese, I talked to you about her, Of the little way. She would talk about how, You know, In the prayer and on the spiritual journey, People would step back, Things would get difficult, And they would step back from the difficulty. They would step back from the discomfiture, Which allowed them to, They step back from their creator self, And would just move into doing the routine, You know, Do the mechanistic thing. In fact, I, This woman said to me, This lawyer said to me that she felt, You know, Being too true to herself was just dangerous. It feels dangerous to the ego, You guys, But I'll tell you, It's a lot safer than ending up being, You know, On your deathbed, Having avoided your life. St. Therese experienced, She did mechanical prayer for 18 years, You guys. She would watch the clock, She would get bored, And she said the reason she did this was because she felt so bad about herself. She did not think she was worthy of a creator. That is a wheelchair, You guys. You're all squirming. A lot of you guys are moving. It's just a wheelchair, Feeling like a miserable sinner, Not good enough to be loved by the creator. Have you ever seen a little kid, An unloved little kid? That's how unloved little kids act. Yeah, So 18 years, So she kept going, You guys. She never gave up. She kept going, She turned up, She did all the routines in this monastery, Convent, Which I find mind-boggling that she could do it. She actually turned up for these things, But maybe in the nunneries they have to. And she was in a convent that was very worldly, And people liked to gossip, And there was all kinds of stuff going on. She was a charismatic, Fairly extroverted, Charming character. She had trouble reaching God. So she, 18 years, You guys, 18, And she walks past, I think this is what happened, She walked past a statue of Jesus, You know, Being crucified, And suddenly she got physically, The penny dropped, And she felt his suffering, And she felt the love of humanity behind it. She felt the love. So sometimes I think, You know, Churches can focus too much on the suffering of Jesus, And miss that he loved. And when she got that, Her spiritual journey began, And she started teaching the little way. And this is, You know, It is doing these kind of things, That if you do adopt it, This little way, You do it with your heart, It will bring to you the spiritual knowledge that I was talking about, About the opposites, Paradoxical intention, And the union of bad and good. It's just like one coin and two different sides. When you live in the way of devotion, That is the easiest way to evolve. It's easier than the path of knowledge, Because you just love. And the other thing is, The easiest way, Is having access to awakened teachers, With karma, And satsang. Because during satsang, The cells of your body are receiving a current of unconditional love. Some of you will feel, And some of you won't feel, But you might notice in the satsang that it always starts a little, It sort of takes time to warm up, And then there's this feeling of kind of warmth and embrace. Some of you might feel that. And even if you don't feel it, It's your cells are being trained to feel it, So don't worry. So, Her little way is like small everyday actions, Sacrifices, Made out of love and trust and humility, Rather than performing grand good deeds. You know, Being kind to somebody, Opening the door. You know, We all know small things we can do. Just kindness. Treating people with kindness. Small acts of love, You know, Being patient, Smiling, Helping others unnoticed, Hidden sacrifices, Offering up small discomforts, Like not complaining, Enduring annoyances. But not doing them out of like, Oh, I'm so unworthy, I'm not allowed to be annoyed. No, And this is where it gets really distorted. No, Not that. Just, You know, Like not say you get back from a plane trip, It was a terrible flight, But the person's come and picked you up. So, You just don't talk about what a terrible flight it was, Because you don't want to drown the person in that. It was bad enough that it was a bad flight, But it's over now. And just be with the person. It's like that. It's sort of like just not making messes all over other people, Not spewing all over them about your own difficulties. And it doesn't help anyway, And it overloads them often. Because maybe the person coming to pick you up at the airport went through really bad traffic, Or maybe there was a road rage incident. This is why it's like, You know, Really just saying your mantra all the time and giving everything to God, You know, Rather than asking other human beings to always be there for us. Yeah, The other thing, She was really big on this, And this is something I, You know, Maybe you guys will become wonder children at doing this, Which is, You're loved by the Creator, And the Creator knows your weaknesses and loves you anyway, And will help you with these weaknesses if you just take them to the Creator, Take them to Alma with an open heart. Take the worst things about yourself to Alma, To the Creator. You know, You go like, You could just say, Yeah, Alma, You know what I'm like. You know that as soon as money is mentioned, I start wanting $20 million in my bank account. Or, You know how hard I get on men sometimes. Or, You know how much I doubt myself. Please help me. See, Make God your friend, You guys. Make Alma your friend who loves you. You see, Some of you want me to be endlessly just like, I don't know, Like your ideal mom, And I can't. I can't. It's like half the time, You guys just want me to love you at the ego level, And I can't do that. It's not what I'm here for. I need to wake you up, And help you learn how to walk this way, And Primus Judah, When I talk about the compassionate way, You guys, Really, I wish you'd known me then. You know, I wish I had a video I could show you of Primus Judah. You know, You go, Well, She can do this. I can too. Because really, I was just such a deluded fragment, You know. But I just, You know, I had nowhere else to go, And this is good if you have nowhere else to go. And it's like self-compassion. You know, It's take it to the creator. This is the key. This is the key to today's satsang, And we got here, You guys. It's for you to take all your faults and everything, To see them, And stark relief. Don't run from them, Because some of you won't even see your faults. You don't even look at yourselves. But when you see them, Don't feel that. Take it to the creator, And let the love come through of your soul. Let your soul come in. It's like that's where your soul can come in, And turn you into an extraordinary person. If you take all your weaknesses to the creator in this really vulnerable, Open way, The creator will turn them into great gifts, Absolute great gifts. That's how it works. Yeah, But you know, Don't do it like a technique. I mean, Get that. You're the beloved child of the creator. Just live that way. It's not a technique. I can see some heads going kind of like, Oh, A technique. And it's like, Get it as a way of living, A new way of living. And if you start it, And you can't really do it, If your voice sounds sort of even foamy to you, If you're going, Oh, Creator, I know, And I make this mistake a lot, And you can feel that you're not being sincere, Just go, And I take this in sincerity to you. I can even feel myself not being sincere, Creator. That's how stuck I am. It's like, You guys, You've got to get out of the wheelchairs. I'm assuming it's dumping you out of the wheelchairs, Like, Tip, Tip, Tip. And you know, In life, The thing is, Everybody's scared of a spiritual journey, But I'll tell you, It will give you the solutions to your life. Like, It's safe. It's the safest thing. Because, You know, When all the lemmings are running off the cliff, The lemming that talks to the creator goes, Listens to the angels going, Don't follow them. Go this way. And that little lemming doesn't go over the cliff. This is how premasuddha navigated. Truly. It saved over and over and over. In fact, Interestingly, You guys, You know, Before this whole thing with the Middle East came, I got this feeling to leave from Nepal, And I got a ticket that's Chinese, And it stops in China. So, There's no disruption with the whole Middle East thing. And it, You know, I got the ticket, And it was cheap at the time. I bought it lot in advance. I just got the feeling to do that, You see. And afterwards, I thought, Ah, My ticket's cheap when the prices are going up. And I get to go home on time. There's no disruption with the flight. It's like you get the information for what to do, And you avoid a lot of trouble. But the main thing is, You see, It's just, You know, The sincerity is key. And we all know that we like sincere people. You know, You can feel when somebody's sincere, And you're warm to them, And you trust them. And the same thing happens with the creator. And the creator will go the extra mile for you. This is, It's like Amma said, It's her duty, It's the creator's duty to match however much you're moving into truth, How much your heart is devoted to moving into truth. The universe will match that and give you a little more. It will certainly match it. It's not so scary. It's just to realize that, You know, It's a loving universe, And you can have a one-on-one relationship with the creator. And if you listen to your heart, The information that I give you, These sad sayings, You will validate it from the inside out. You will find out what Pramasutra is talking about. You will discover, You'll go, Oh, Here's the union of opposites. The dark night of the soul brings two opposites together and unites into one single point of view. And Pramasutra's dark night of the soul, When I was in my 30s, Brought me to united, I was united in the desire to love. So it was uncomfortable, But there was a way that it grew me 20 years worth of meditation. This is something else I want to say to you guys. The woman's way is slow, It's like pregnancy. Guys, The way of guys, It's much more tumultuous, But it's faster. So a little bit of difficulty in your life will speed you up. It's not a bad thing. Yeah, Can you let yourself be loved? This is the main thing. I call it self-compassion, But just that, You know, When you're in your bed and it's three o'clock in the morning, Can you talk to God? Can you talk to Amma? Can you be vulnerable? Can you be vulnerable, Guys, And let the love in? That's what a spiritual master is living from, That really soft core right there. The egos, You know, Died like 27% and they're living from that soft core. And that's why they can say things like, Well, Keep taking it all to the Creator, Because they know that the Creator exists and that everything is the Creator. We're just sort of touched with it. It's Kali Yuga, It's not even our fault, You guys. I mean, You know, Krishna knew this was going to happen. You know, In the Gita or some of the Vedas, They all talk about all the stuff that's happening now. They said it happened in Kali Yuga, You know. It's like a wintertime, We're in wintertime. But the thing about the wintertime, You guys, If you turn to the Creator, If you can turn to the Creator in these dark times, You can accelerate so much faster than in the time of truth, Than in Satya Yuga, Where people will, You know, There's tremendous competition to find teachers and people sweep the floor for like 20 or 30 years before they even start to get teachings. And as Amma says in Kali Yuga, The teachers chase the students, You know. It's a glorious time to do the journey, Really. You can do it so quickly. And also, Because it's so horrible in this world, You know, You're motivated to get closer to the Creator. Yeah. I mean, It's humorous, You know, Sort of. The whole thing is humorous when you get out of it. It's just when you're in it, It's like, Oh God, I remember. I mean, I can remember how I just get stuck and everything would seem so dark. You know, In the last time I had a hard time, I had, I kept feeling these dark lines in the back of my neck, Dark lines of energy that I was growing through. I knew that my energy was rising. My Kundalini was rising. And I could feel these kind of cut off, Energetic cut off, The back of my neck. I don't know, Does anybody know from the Transcendent Body approach what the back of the neck is? Quiz time. Spot clues. Well, The back is always the unconscious. Yeah, The back's always the unconscious, But the neck particularly, Think about the neck. The neck is the flexibility of thoughts. Yes, In a way, The turning, You're right. Whether you can turn neck to the, How far you can turn, Right. So, Whether you can see 360 degrees, Or whether you're kind of limited to, Like, Some people, Really, Their necks don't move. And that is their patterning. And they won't physically be able to move their neck much. Truly. But, What I'm thinking of, And this thing, The back of the neck, It's, You know, Self-esteem. We say, Hang your head in shame, You guys. And what is one of the most vulnerable spots of a person? It's the back of their neck. And, You know, We know that rigid, When people in the army, They rigidly hold their necks up. I'm not talking about that. But there's a, It's a, It's a self-respect thing. And I have felt it when I moved into deeper self-respect, I would feel like my heart was holding up my neck. And I could, It, It relaxed out, Relaxed out, It lost its tension. Yeah, I think maybe next week, We'll talk more about the body, Because you guys, It's a big ticket to decoding your child self. Anyway, When I was outgrowing these old lines, It had to do with actually the patriarchy and feeling boxed. Yeah, Really. And I was growing beyond this into much more of a feminine understanding. See, So even feeling this in my neck, And getting the image of these dark lines of, You know, The boxing energy helped me feel safe enough to grow. Do you see? I could go, Oh, This is just, I've learned to box my energy. And of course, In my thoughts, I was trying to box myself. I was desperately looking for the safety of a box, And the box isn't safe at all. And that's, You know, And it all disappeared as my energy rose up to my third eye and crown chakra. Now, All this, Your kundalini will move at, It will gradually, Gradually, What happens, You guys, When you're, And anybody who's come to me for bodywork will have that activated kundalini. And your kundalini starts rising, And it will clear up all your complexes. So some of you, You're working, Say, At the second chakra level, Or even the base chakra level around survival, You can be working there. And so in your issue, You've got like a money issue. But it's just the kundalini working with that chakra. Yeah. There is a point on the journey where the transcendent body approach could look like a really safe place to understand, Like a big support for your journey. But people get that when they, They've lost the ego enough that they no longer believe that they are a limited person, That they're so-and-so who grew up on so-and-so street. They, They know that they're more than just a human being. And when you, When you get that, Then the transcend body approach can be like the support as you outgrow things. Yeah. So I sent somebody a video, And somebody felt, They felt some pressure on the shoulder. So they felt responsible, Too responsible. So it's like, You know, As if maybe they're a feeling that they had to do something with this to be able to get something to please the teacher, Or that somehow there is an obligation in it. And if you, If you know that when you get these pains that, That is coming from the ego, You can step back a bit. But I'm overloading you with information at this point. We've done a lot. But sometimes actually, It helps surrender. When you overload people with information, They can't really deal with it. And then sometimes they just surrender, You never know. Yeah. But I'm opening the floor for questions, Or comments, Or complaints. Whatever goes. Okay, I'll say something. You made a comment about, Excuse me, You made a comment about everything that you were saying was kind of hard or difficult or something. And I didn't hear that at all. I just, I didn't hear that at all. I heard pure love, Wanting the best and helped me tremendously. So thank you. Yeah, You're ready, Eh? When you're ready. Yeah, That's what happened. We just, That's it. It's just, Yeah. But thank you. But yeah, You're ready. So yeah. I know. When, Boy, When, When you get like the, The unconditional love when you're, When you need it, When you're open to it, You just go, Oh, Thank goodness, You know, It's kind of, Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's like a miracle, Right? Yeah. God exists, We get the help we need. You know, I mean, And I've known you for so many years, And it's, It's probably helps everyone to hear this, But it's, I've had such difficulty hearing what you say, Even though I know it's such difficulty. And so this is just, In a way, It's just so simple, What you're saying, Really. I know. I know. But I know it's so utterly simple. We just fight all the time, You know, Or, Or somehow think that, Well, In this area of my life, That's not the truth, You know, Like, It's, It's the whole thing. It's everything. And it just kind of all comes down to one. You know, It all comes down to this. And I think when you talked about the little way, I think that is, Yes, I think that's a huge ticket to that. I do too. And I think it's how to bring up the feminine. It's such a feminine thing. If you do the little way, You will bring up the feminine within you. And there's no bells and whistles, And you get ignored, You don't get celebrated. But you know, You're doing this deep weaving that is helping the world and helping you graduate from the planet. Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's so funny, You know, With, If there was a novelist writing about us and teaching, You know, You know, The, Just how we get it when we get it, Right? It's like, And it's choreographed, You guys, It's choreographed for you. It's like, You will get it when you get it. And there's no, There's no bad or good. It's, It's just gonna happen when it happens. And you've already chosen it for when it happens. Right? So it's to see what, There's no need to be ashamed or anything or, Or proud or anything. You just get it when you get it. But you'll be a lot happier when you get it. That's the thing. And you know that you're doing it like that, You know, You're on track. And, And many of you have, You're opening beautifully. You just need a little bit longer on the journey. You just need a little bit longer. It's done very gradually. I've known Andrea for like 30 years, Right? 30 years. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Remember, You guys, Mantra, See your mantra and focus on gratitude. You know, If you want, Like, Really the quick, Quick things. It's hard to talk about, You know, I mean, It, There's not that much to say, You know. So I understand, Like, Sometimes the questions, You know, There's, There's so much sort of confusion. Sometimes we don't know what question to ask. I've been very loudly hammering some of you for, For time to get out of the ego. Some of you have really been just use this to put a glossy shine on your egos. So there's been some hammering. I mean, It's very understandable. It's like unloved kids, Stuff that unloved kids do. They have so many tricks. They said, I remember Tamara, Who was Abraham's, You know, Main squeeze. She, She actually didn't like me very much. And she, She told me that I had a lot of tricks. You have a lot of tricks. Yeah, She said. Yep. I did. I was an unloved kid. In fact, I didn't even realize how many tricks I had. I was lost in my tricks. This is some of you are lost in your tricks. Oh, That's why I want you to like start talking to God, Like your best friend, God, Your best friend. And even if you can't hear the guidance, Just keep at it because you will. You will. You, If you keep doing it, You will have some extraordinary experiences. Just extraordinary. You'll have the experience that you couldn't even dream up, You know, For yourself. You know, You guys, Music does a lot. Bazhan does a lot for you. A lot of, You know, Just doing these things, Watching videos, You know, Spiritual videos, Just the more you can fill your head with that kind of thing, Rather than worldly things, The better for your journey. It's very mechanical. The more you fill your mind with that, The easier it will be to surrender. You just get brought to, The more you sort of drown your brain in God, The more your brain will start going with that. Okay, Well, You know, Just keep going. And remember that, You know, Prem Siddhat thinks of you guys often during the week. And sometimes I get bulletins of information. Sometimes I work with you energetically during the week. It's like I sometimes get information about you. It's a, It's a living thing. You guys, It's an ongoing living thing. Yeah, Yeah, You know that. Yeah, I feel like you know that. And so I'm wanting you guys to look at your experience more. You know, And be willing to see yourself. Don't think it's all up there. Be willing to see your own actions. And when you need help, Go to the Creator. And remember, It's done by something beyond you. So you can't really do the journey as much as you can yearn to be in truth. And when you yearn to be in truth, Your actions, Your actions, You will just do things naturally that help you. I still want people to learn how to save themselves. It's crushing for me. It's crushing for Prem Siddhat to see some of you be so passive about your own spiritual well-being. Yeah, It's, It really hurts my heart. Because, You know, The whole reason I do this work is because I can't stand to watch people in pain. I felt such pain myself that I could not stand the idea of people walking around in the kind of separation I was walking around in. And not having access to, You know, Love. And when I look at it now, I go, It's amazing that I sort of thought that I could make a difference, You know, That I thought that, That I could really do something. And lots of times I felt like misunderstood, Not, Not seen clearly. A lot of that, But I just kept going because I couldn't do anything else. I knew eventually that a lot of people were going to come into pain. And if there were people around who could help them, That they, You know, That it would just be too terrible to imagine. Yeah. Yeah, Really. That's where this comes from. Okay. Bless your dear, Dear hearts. You're wonderful. You're, You're Amma's children. You're creator's children. You're divine beings already. You're already perfect. You're already enlightened. You know, Don't forget that. You're already enlightened.