This is a question and answer session.
I would like to learn more about self-acceptance.
I'm chasing self-acceptance for,
I've been chasing self-acceptance for decades.
And sometimes I feel like a failure because I still feel I can't accept myself.
And after all these years and after all this learning I've been doing,
So how can I finally feel and embody the self-acceptance I'm looking so much for?
Right,
Yeah.
Self-acceptance.
It's actually in some ways it's the hardest thing and it's also the easiest thing.
Oh my.
Okay,
There's a lot in your question.
You know,
Partly we're in a patriarchy so for women actually to deeply accept their true feminine nature is quantum leaf.
It's huge.
So there's a lot of pressure to sort of love yourself,
Like go get a beautiful haircut or go get your manicure done as if that's self-love,
Right?
And it can be but it's not the deeper thing at all,
Right?
You're only okay if your nails are good and your hair is done,
Right?
Yeah.
So,
You know,
My own self-acceptance came from when I realized that I couldn't fix myself.
That there was no technique that I could use.
That it didn't matter what somebody said about me,
Like good or bad,
You know?
Even if somebody said,
Oh you're so great,
It's like it didn't feel this way.
And I walked around with feelings of not being good enough too.
And actually I think that is the normal human condition in the West.
I think that's how we're trained to be in a way.
And it comes from lack of bonding.
Lack of a deep bonding very early.
So because we're so casual about early motherhood and we leave little children in situations where there are 25 other kids,
Just at the time when they need the most care and somebody being very partial to them,
Which communicates to them that they're really important,
That they're of value,
Right?
And if you don't get this,
You don't have the feeling of being of value.
So it's sort of a set up for all of us to be alienated from our true selves.
So when we go to accept ourselves,
We don't even know where it is.
Where is our true self,
Right?
Yeah,
Exactly.
And especially for women too,
Where is their feminine energy?
Where is their female nature?
I remember feeling that,
Well where is it?
I don't feel it.
So it's really a matter of will.
It's a matter of turning that way.
It's a matter of giving up on the false gain.
It's just really giving up.
So getting to the point where you could ask this question,
I would say this is good.
You're in the process of surrendering,
Of really surrendering.
When we move into self-acceptance,
We feel softer inside,
Where our tension melts.
We come home to our hearts.
It's really in a way,
Self-acceptance is accepting our hearts because we're so trained to be in our heads,
You see.
So when you start accepting the deeper feelings that come in from the heart,
You start to utterly fall in love with yourself.
You start to fall in love with your true self and that is what gives you self-acceptance.
It's actually your soul that gives you self-acceptance.
It's when you allow your soul energy in,
It brings love and acceptance.
And most of us don't know how to do this.
In the West,
We're big on techniques and it's great to give people techniques to get there,
But you could do the techniques for 30 years.
You have to really want self-acceptance more than anything else.
There is some funny feeling of fear of intimacy coming up.
When you talk that you're feeling this is great.
So this is awkward to have this closeness somehow.
Right.
Okay.
So it's really good that you're feeling the fear and that you can put words to it and just be with it and witness it because it is your fear of being with your true self.
It's coming again from the Western world where we're so focused on being outward.
And how do we learn communion with our true self when our parents are alienated from their true self?
So the little child realizes very early that the deep understanding isn't there.
So the little child walls it off in herself.
So then she becomes scared of it.
So when we start really moving into self-acceptance,
The fear comes up and it's coming up to be cleared.
This is any of us can retrieve our true nature and move into true self-acceptance.
It's just we have to really want it more than anything else.
Maybe most of us don't.
It's actually a revolutionary,
Radical move to allow it because you'll notice.
Once you do it,
You'll notice how alienated most of us are.
As a child,
I felt very alienated.
I remember Abraham,
The Hawaiian kahuna I studied with,
And he said that he was walking around and he realized,
It was early 20s,
He was in Hawaii,
And he realized that white people just didn't understand.
They didn't understand the deep connection to the earth and to their own hearts and everything.
No,
This is it.
This is it.
He felt such compassion for us that he began offering his teaching to Caucasians.
In the Hawaiian tradition,
This is punishable by death to offer it to other than Hawaiians.
For five years,
He was frightened of being murdered.
But such with his commitment to helping,
He did this.
This is what happens.
Once you feel the self-acceptance in this love,
You just want to share it so badly.
How are you feeling now?
I'm very aware of the area of my heart and it's something going on there.
I can feel some tickling and some heaviness still.
So you're feeling the heaviness with which you've lived?
Yes,
Yes.
I feel like a little child I've been.
I feel like a little child right now.
Like a little child.
Okay,
Good.
Where I was like,
I wondered where this funny stuff came from because I felt this is not natural to feel like this.
I could feel it as a little girl,
But I couldn't help it.
I think as little ones,
Our egos feel like heavy armor.
We can feel it coming on.
It's like,
Oh no,
Right?
I think that's what the temper tantrums are of a two-year-old.
I think they feel the ego coming on and they're just distraught about it.
Yes,
I had temper tantrums up to my seventh,
Eighth year old.
Okay.
Yeah,
So this is the thing that's going on underneath the little one's smiles.
You know,
Egos coming on.
It's not the parents' fault.
It's what happened to the parents,
Right?
So,
You know,
You can if you feel pressure on your heart,
You can take some deep breaths and just invite your soul energy in.
Because sometimes we get a heaviness or pressure and our souls kind of knocking on the door,
Asking to be allowed in.
Yeah.
So any of us can do that.
Just take a deep breath and you say,
Okay,
Come on in.
Actually pressure on any part of your body.
Just say,
Okay,
Come on in.
It's your soul wanting to come in so you can embody your truth,
So you can move into self-acceptance.
And if you don't feel it right away,
Over the next couple of days,
You'll feel it.
Yeah.
And you'll feel lighter.
And,
You know,
As you do this,
People will ask you if you've lost weight because when we drop our emotional baggage,
We look thinner to people.
We just look thinner.
It's the most hilarious thing.
Well,
Yeah.
Okay.
Well,
Thanks for asking the question,
Anna.
That's really helpful.
Thanks.
Okay.
Well,
Thank you for the survey.
My joy.
