Hi there!
Welcome to Episode 77,
Circles of Self.
I'm happy to have you here with me and I hope you're enjoying this process.
We've been exploring the life roles that we live and starting to understand even what aspects might have led to those life roles for us.
Some of those environmental,
Situational,
Or personal things that we've collected along the way.
And even understanding the theaters and how the theaters often have theaters within them.
Getting to look at what changes who we are within those theaters.
What creates the masks that we wear,
Costumes that we put on in front of others.
And that is where we start looking at the ego versus the self.
Who is driving?
And understanding those aspects helps us move more in alignment with who we truly are.
Today I'm going to offer some more information for contemplation and then some tools for how to integrate all this into daily living.
The first area to contemplate a bit is looking at or understanding whose story you're living.
We might find that the life story that we're living,
We might have a few chapters in there that are ours.
That align with the life that we want to be living,
Passions that we have,
Interest and skills that are natural for us.
We might also find that there's several chapters that aren't ours.
That we're living and continuing to read and not realizing that they're not even our beliefs anymore.
Or maybe they never were.
So whose story are you reading?
Whose story are you living?
You might even find that there's only a few chapters that are yours and most of the book is someone else's.
The more we see though and the more we become aware then the more we can start to rewrite and create the foundation that we're looking for.
At times I'll even talk with clients about this situation or topic that I'm sharing here right now.
And they will not really understand even what book they're reading.
They'll describe or explain how they feel really disconnected from self.
How they're not even really sure what their passion or interests are.
And that they're almost in a lost cycle where it's seeking and searching trying to figure this out.
But not even really sure what it looks like and what they're seeking and searching for.
And when we look at that being almost like a tattoo of what it's supposed to be looking like on their back.
And they can't see it.
They can't really read it.
They can't understand it.
They try maybe to look at it in the mirror in some way but it's still quite confusing.
And that seems to kind of resonate with a lot of people when we talk through that.
So I'll share that with you as well.
But if you can't even figure out the book.
Like what is the book?
What does it look like?
How do I know what chapters when I can't even figure out the book?
You can think of like you know it's like written on your back somewhere somehow.
And how disconnected that can make us feel from ourselves.
So whose story are you reading?
Whose story are you living?
The second area of contemplation you might find it kind of hanging out with the first one there.
Or you might find it in and of itself.
And that's the surveying I talked a little bit about.
If you find yourself surveying start to slow down a little bit and notice where self-doubt is coming in.
And if you notice where the self-doubt is.
So where do you notice that you're stepping away from your confidence?
You're stepping away from self-esteem.
You might even find judgmental words coming through.
And in it think of the best way to describe it.
So when you're you're noticing self-doubt.
Maybe you're a surveyor and maybe you're not a surveyor but you're just like well I have self-doubt.
I am stepping away from my confidence my self-esteem.
Then you can ask yourself a little bit or have a bit of curiosity and contemplation.
And have it be about is this really your doubt?
So is it actually your doubt or is it doubt someone else threw at you?
Kind of like the story right?
Like is it your story or someone else's?
So is it really your doubt or did somewhere along the way you heard someone doubt you?
And then you just believed it and stepped away from yourself.
If I lived my life according to the doubts that others threw at me.
I would be nowhere that I am today in any category.
Mentally,
Emotionally,
Physically,
Spiritually,
Definitely in my career and where I've taken all of this.
Don't let someone else's language,
Someone else's words move you away from who you are.
You are you.
You know who you are more than anyone else does.
And the more you slow down and start to ask yourself where did my trust in self go?
What makes me doubt my own abilities and who I am?
And let me think about that a little bit more and explore all the strengths,
All the talents,
And what are my passions.
The more we slow this down,
The more we let ourselves get into a bit of contemplation instead of just autopilot where we move through life so quickly that we lose track.
And it's easy to lose track of,
You know,
Where we went.
Like where did our self trust go?
What made us start doubting our inner wisdom?
And then start changing that story,
Slowing down,
Changing the script.
I'm going to share some ways that you can incorporate some of this into your daily life.
When we're thinking about ego versus self,
We want to think of different aspects.
We have our emotional,
Our mental,
Physical,
Our spiritual self,
And that yellow in the middle.
Where all of them integrate and combine together.
It's often called a lot of different things,
But you might have heard it before called when we're in alignment with our dharma.
When we're in that yellow and we have everything integrated,
We just feel like we are in tune with life.
We're just kind of flowing in tune with life.
And sometimes we might notice that these areas that it might be in the emotional,
It could be in the mental,
It could be all of them.
But that sometimes we even step away from what we want to put in those categories out of fear or even sometimes embarrassment.
Embarrassment is an emotion that we will often create based off our own judgment and then we project that judgment out to others.
Or sometimes people might even say something to us and how we digest it,
It might create that emotion of embarrassment.
Well with fear or with this almost fear of embarrassment or desire not to experience embarrassment,
Remembering embarrassment is often caused because we are not in alignment with our internal strength.
That's where that confidence is,
The self-esteem and how we can get into alignment then with embarrassment.
Because we think we are doing something wrong or not right or people will deny themselves even their hobbies.
The things that they really like because of embarrassment or fear that someone's going to judge them.
So what you want to do is you want to start looking at these four circles.
You want to think about the categories and then as you're filling them in,
You can start to fill them in in ways where you can see what is actually linking with what.
And what will you be able to get into that yellow in the middle where everything is combined,
Everything is flowing in unison.
And again it's where often we feel like we're moving through life in unison.
Things with our mental,
It might be reading,
Crossword puzzles,
Documentaries,
Deep conversation with someone would also be something mental where we're not just like talking about surface stuff.
Getting into a little bit more of that deeper conversation,
Mental stimulation,
Emotional exploration.
What could feed our emotions?
Lots of things can feed our emotions.
And even with like music or songs,
Music or songs give us different emotional experiences,
Different emotional memories,
Even different feelings in our body.
So music can take us all over in emotional ways.
Our physical body,
How are we helping,
Feeding,
Nourishing our physical body and our spiritual self.
And spiritual self does not have to be religion.
It can be a lot of different things.
Even nature is very spiritual.
Breath is very spiritual.
Silence is very spiritual.
There's so many ways to get in spiritual alignment with self that's outside of organized religion.
So what are your areas in all of these different circles?
Where do you see yourself putting things on there that you want on there?
Even if they're not things you have going on in life right now,
Maybe you've blocked yourself from having them be present.
But start building this out.
Start putting in there what feels right for you.
It's going to be different for everybody.
We're all different.
So everyone's circles of self will not look the same.
And the more you can fill it out without judgment of self,
Without holding yourself back,
Just let it be what feels right for you.
Then you can also have it as a guidance or a map or a tool for you to do the next part.
And the next part is committing to a daily.
With committing to a daily,
It's committing to doing something daily in each of those categories.
Every day.
It doesn't have to be 30 minutes even in each category.
Some things can take even just a few seconds.
Expressing gratitude or feeling gratitude towards an experience or sharing gratitude with someone else,
That's definitely emotion and doesn't take long at all.
So fill out your circles,
Your self circles,
And then let yourself have a commitment to your dailies.
And that can be a guide so you can kind of mix it up.
You don't have to think on the spot like,
Oh,
What should I do today?
You just commit to the dailies,
One thing in each category.
And then you have the whole thing that you filled out there as your map of what that looks like.
We commit to daily bad habits pretty easily,
Pretty freely.
How often do we commit to healthy habits?
The more you do this,
The more you're going to find yourself in that yellow middle.
And don't forget,
You also want to be incorporating those other tools and thinking about the life pie.
How do you get into your ideal life pie?
You can also hop over to Serenity Wellness Tools on YouTube and check out the Design Your Ideal Life episode.
Find out a little bit more about your life pie and see what you have cooking.
As you put all this stuff together and you keep integrating it into your daily life,
You might find suddenly that you're living your ideal pie.
Thank you so much.
I am very happy to be here with you to share wellness with you.
The more we each work on ourselves,
The more we're helping the collective.
Thank you,
My friends.
I will see you soon.
