Being here in this moment.
Breathing in this moment.
Being present as the breath arises.
Being present as the moment arises.
Being present as the breath passes away.
Being present as the moment passes away.
And then present to the next breath and the next moment.
And sometimes within these moments of our lives.
Something arises that we don't like.
For some of us snow in April might be such a thing.
But there's usually many things that may arise that we don't like.
And when that happens,
The usual impulse is to push those things away.
To build up a kind of hatred.
To tell ourselves a story about the aversion and why it's justified.
What might get lost in that response is the underlying longing.
So in the case of snow in April,
There's an underlying longing for spring to arrive.
There's a deep longing to see the green grass,
Smell the flowers.
Experience walking outside without having to put on our coats and boots.
Feeling a gentle breeze that doesn't chill us but instead refreshes.
So that is a longing of the human heart.
And when we can deeply touch that longing,
Then actually the things that seem to get in the way of our desire somehow become not such a problem.
And we accept that there is a longing for spring and touch that longing.
Then when the snow comes,
We see the snow and we say,
Oh,
Now I'm reminded of my longing,
Now I can deeply touch my longing.
And in that way the snow isn't something we need to hate or build up a story of aversion around.
We can see how it actually coexists and is interdependent with our longing.
And the same is true for other kinds of longing.
So we might have a longing for enlightenment,
A longing to be free from suffering or that others be free from suffering.
So can we deeply touch,
Deeply receive that longing?
The longing that's in our heart.
A wise old master once said,
You should arouse the thought of awakening.
So sometimes in our practice we have the idea that there should be no thoughts and we hear things like no gaining mind.
And so we think,
Oh,
There shouldn't be longing.
But I don't think that's quite right.
This great teacher said,
You should arouse the thought of awakening.
That means receive your longing.
Not in a grasping way,
Not in a way that you're trying to achieve something for yourself,
But in a way that's following the human heart.
To allow the human heart and your human longing to unfold the Dharma.
And when you receive your longing like this,
Your longing for awakening or freedom from suffering,
When you receive it like this,
Then anything that seems to be getting in the way of receiving that for which you long,
All those things that seem to be getting in the way don't have to be a problem.
They're just part of the whole picture.
So if you notice,
Well,
I'm thinking too much in zazen or my mind wanders a lot or I feel tired or I feel frustrated or I'm wondering if this practice is worthwhile or there's some sound that's really bugging me or it's too hot or too cold.
Whatever might be arising,
You can receive that along with your longing.
Both can exist.
So it's a way of receiving what might be difficult.
While at the same time receiving that I'm a human being who doesn't want this difficulty because I want something else.
I want to be free from suffering and I want others to be free from suffering.
I want to be liberated.
I want to be awake.
Can we allow that longing to be there without grabbing onto it?
Without putting a layer there that says I must receive right now that which I long for.
I think it is possible.
And our practice of receiving the breath helps us train to receive our longing and everything in this way.
So let's practice receiving in this way.
Just breathing and noticing what it is that you long for.
What is your deepest heart's desire?
And just being present with that in a very open and spacious way,
Inviting yourself to be present.
You might use awareness of the breath to help you be present.
Breathing in,
Aware that I am breathing in.
Breathing out,
Aware that I am breathing out.
Feeling your breath in your whole body and just receiving,
Simply receiving.
What do I long for and can I receive my longing?
What do I long for?
What do I long for?
What do I long for?
What do I long for?
Letting these questions sink down to your belly.
So inviting yourself to move from your frontal lobe to the very center of your body and receive the questions there.
So it's not about figuring it out.
Receive the questions in your whole body.
What is my longing and can I receive my longing?
What is my longing?
What is my longing?
What is my longing?
What is my longing?
Next,
Considering the questions,
What seems to be getting in the way of my achieving that which I long for?
What seems to be thwarting me and can I receive that?
Breathing and receiving these questions in the belly,
In the center of the body,
In the whole body.
What is my longing?
What is my longing?
What is my longing?
Finally,
Inviting yourself to let go of all the questions and just be with your body,
Just be a breathing body.
Receiving your breath as it comes in and it goes out.
Receiving the moment as it arises and as it passes away.
Inviting a half smile to your lips.
Breathing with joy at the miracle that is this moment.
What is my longing?
What is my longing?
What is my longing?
What is my longing?
