71. 3 Ways To Avoid the Holiday Blues & Lean Into Holiday Cheer

35:31

35:31

71. 3 Ways To Avoid the Holiday Blues & Lean Into Holiday Cheer

by Spiritually Hungry Podcast

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4.7

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talks

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Meditation

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Everyone

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135

Holidays often represent what we wish our everyday life could be like. Many of us strive to create picture-perfect memories that will leave us feeling joyful long after the celebrations have passed. What do we do when fantasy doesn’t match reality? The truth is, many aspects of holiday gatherings are out of our control. Tune in as Monica and Michael discuss how to cultivate holiday joy on a daily basis instead of trying to fit it into a single day or week.

Stress Mindfulness Joy Overindulgence Balance Family Mindful Living Joy Of Life Family Dynamics Spiritual Growth Expectations Vs Reality Holidays Holiday Stress Spirits

Meet your Teacher

Spiritually Hungry Podcast

New York State, USA

Meet your Teacher

Spiritually Hungry Podcast

New York State, USA

Transcript

Going into the holidays, Time comes to a screeching halt because internally what we want is to feel joy, But what the outside tells us, It's not now. That's why we put so much pressure on the holidays being so much for us. That's the time where we're going to relax. That's the time that we're going to eat whatever we want. That's the time where we're going to just put everything on hold and just be happy. But what if we had that every day of our lives? I think this is the mistake that we make. Welcome to the spiritually hungry podcast episode 71. How do we enjoy the holidays? That's a big question. Are we supposed to enjoy them? Well, And the other question is how do we avoid the holiday blues? Last week was Thanksgiving and it's the time of year again when we tend to overindulge in several areas. We eat and drink whatever we want often to excess. We meaning women, Especially put extra care on our appearance, Planning the perfect outfit, Decorating, Baking, Shopping, Wrapping, All the experience, The elusive holiday cheer and achieve those picture perfect memories that will live on forever in the pages of our photo albums and on Facebook. Sound familiar? Not really. As you were saying that I was asking a question to say that. Well that's for most listeners. I think that they would agree. No matter which holiday you celebrate, Excellent food, Beautifully appointed homes, Festive decorations, Singing, Presents and spending time with loved ones all play a major part. In short, The holidays symbolize everything that we wish our ideal life could be like. It's kind of like, You know, Leave it to Beaver, You know, These like picture perfect fifties families. I think that's how we kind of look at the holidays. Holidays are marketed as the happiest time of the year and on the surface. Most wonderful time of the year. What's not to like? Elaborate dinners with friends and family, Gift giving and receiving and curling up in front of a fireplace and comfy slippers are the order of the day. Yet like so many things, Fantasy doesn't always match reality. So now enter the holiday blues. It's no wonder that the expectation of holiday cheer leaves so many feeling depressed or stressed or both, Except if you're Michael Berg. The holiday blues can cause depression or amplify if it's if a person is already depressed. Anxiety is another system. And because you are looking at me like you don't believe me, I have statistics. A holiday stress survey conducted in 2018 surveyed that one thousand one hundred and sixty six people, That 70 percent of the respondents reported that they had experienced holiday stress because they're overly committed to making the holiday special and enjoyable for everyone else. So let that sink in. I think it resonates with many people. Again, Unless you're Michael Berg, Especially when we are committed to a vision that we have of how the day should go. And I often say this to couples I work with, A lot of their dispaction in the marriage, Especially at the beginning, Is because they had an idea of what it would look like. And then it turns out to be very different. They're like, It doesn't match that that same scenario. And I think that happens a lot with the holidays. While many of us work to create a memorable, Even picture perfect holiday, There are a lot of aspects of that goal that are simply beyond our control. I remember I personally used to do this on our Sundays with kids. I had this vision of what the day would look like. I'm like, You know, We were all smiling. There was no there were no hiccups. And then when it didn't match that, I would be floored. And it wasn't that the day was pleasurable or not. It just didn't go as I had pictured it, Which was, Of course, The perfect way that it would have gone. Some people may not be able to attend. Others may show up in less than cheerful moods. And it's not uncommon for the occasional awkward moment or argument to ensue. You can't force people to be cheerful, Kind, Considerate, Respectful or even good cooks. But isn't that what the vision of a magical and enjoyable holiday demands? We can see the impossibility of it all. What's really most surprising to me is that only 70 percent of people said they were stressed about the holidays. I wonder, And I wonder if you probably don't know offhand, But there's a study about how many people, What percentage of people leave the holidays happier than when they entered them? Yeah, I'd say the majority do not do not do not. And you know, While I'm nursing my injury back, So I'm less mobile and I'm working from home. And so I often have like the news in the morning in the background and I never, Ever watch TV. And it's I understand what creates this kind of pressure commercial after commercial, Even what the reporters are reporting on. You know, It's the holiday season and time to come up. This one's coming to visit. So either it's like a perfect thing that they have planned and then and maybe you don't. Right. And then to add to that, It's like, But you better hurry up because prices for tickets, Plane tickets are rising. Order your tickets before Halloween. If you want to get a good fare, You better order your turkey because we're running out of those, Too. So it's this stress that is created the immediacy and urgency of having a good time, Celebrating, Having joy. And you better go and get all these things as they're going to run out really fast. And I think that that is part of what creates this stressor. And if you think about this, Too, TV advertisers in the U. S. Spend four hundred million dollars in the first two weeks of November alone. They want us to think a certain way and respond to certain things. So I mean, I know I was going to ask this question, But I know the answer. Let me see if I can rephrase it. I was going to ask you a question. You experience stress in the holidays, But I don't think you participate in the holidays. I think that I think that your experience of it is very much your experience, Like you are connected to. Well, I think so I would say two things. One is that where I do sometimes, I think hopefully I'm getting better at this, Around the kids fighting. So let's assume not just around the holidays. Let's say we're going to a baseball game, A football game. We're doing an outing with the kids. And sometimes, You know, Kids bicker. And the work there, The thought there is, How do I not let this in my mind be, OK, This was a terrible day because they spent two hours, Whatever it was, Fighting. Or a waste of money and time. Right. And I think for me, What I often go to is the fact that, You know, Everything is from the light of the creator. And if the perfect way for this two hours to be is how do I, And it doesn't mean it always ends up with hugs and kisses, But how do I help them if I see one of them doing something they shouldn't have done or saying something they shouldn't have done. Those learning opportunities is what it's all about. So yeah, You had an idea. You're going to go to a baseball game and everybody's going to, All the kids are going to get along. But that's not always what happens. And if the opportunity is, OK, So now this is a lesson to be learned or there's something that you can maybe help them change and grow, That was what was the perfect outcome of that day. And I think, Now to the holidays, I think the way we want to live our lives is not by having expectations. And it doesn't mean you don't plan. We all plan. But what it was going to wind up being, Who's going to get along, Who's not going to get along, Who's going to fight, Who's not going to fight, Who's going to say something nice, Who's going to say something nasty, To live in a state where you really trust the process. And no matter what your plans were, If something comes in and changes that, It might be upsetting, It might be extra joyful, Just accept that that is the perfect situation in ways you can understand, In ways that you can't. But I think that disparity between the picture perfect one that is certainly fed by advertisers and the such, That should never be what we either expect or be disappointed if that's not exactly the way it worked out. So the first tip I want to give speaks to what you're saying. And I think it's about deciding that it doesn't all have to be important to you. You can pick and choose what you think would be important that day. The example you give about a baseball game, Does it have to go exactly as it's OK if they fight? Maybe that's not going to be what's going to make that day great. So an example for the holidays is, Let's say, You have your great grandmother's stuffing recipe and it's been cherished in your family for a very long time. But it's probably the making of it that is more fulfilling than the tasting of it. The most memorable moment of the holiday might happen in the kitchen the night before when you're teaching your great-great-grandchild how to make the stuffing that's been a family tradition forever. So I think it's just about what makes the holiday gatherings meaningful to you personally. And I think that going into this next month, Really to stop and ask yourself that, What are the individual elements that make the celebration special? So for instance, It's about the blank for me. So for some, They might fill in all. I'll tell you what mine is. For me, The holidays, It's about the baking for me. It's about giving presents to others. That makes me really excited. And it's also sitting in front of a fireplace with people I love and playing games and laughing and connecting. That's what the holidays mean for me. I don't really care much for the rest. For other people, It might be spiked eggnog or peppermint coffee or, You know, Maybe for you, It's making a rib roast, Whatever it is. I think that if we really are clear about what does excite us, Then we can ignore all that other noise and that external pressure of, You know, This is what it's supposed to be. And it creates a really impossible reality to create. And I think that is really important. And maybe this is your next point. Also making clear what are the things I'm going to ignore. Right. Is that one of yours? Well, I mean, That's kind of in what I'm saying. But choosing that not everything has to be important. Like I shouldn't even for example, My my best friend, When she moved to her new neighborhood, Her house was like in shambles. She lost her front porch. She had to use a ladder to climb up to the front door. You could see different parts of the house was exposed in different colors. And then the rest of the neighborhood was like shiny and sparkling with all of these beautiful decorations. And she felt like, Oh, My God, My house is embarrassing. So her and her fiance decided to go and project like a snowflake on their house and they had eggnog and they laughed and laughed because like it was comical. Right. But they really decided what they were going to pay attention to. So and then to your point, To ignore all the other things, Whether something looks better or worse or whatever it is, Just makes me feel good or bad. You get to choose what to make of your experience. And so I think because we I think we often have this experience. And I know for many of our listeners, Whether it's around the topic of politics or vaccines or covid, I am always shocked by the amount of anger and animosity that is created amongst people to people around these topics, Because at the end of the day, You know, The fact that the person, Your nephew, Let's assume, You know, Has the opposite political view than you do or the opposite view on covid than you do. That's not going to change the world. And by the way, You're probably not going to convince them that you're right. And they're probably not going to convince you that that they're right. But let's set all that aside. But I've seen so many intense, Angry conversations around these topics. And it's really silly. And I have to say that for myself, You know, Maybe this is a good tool for our listeners. Whenever I'm going somewhere, I know there's going to be somebody there who, For whatever reason, Either picks fights or says nasty things. I almost, In my mind, I view it as, OK, This is going to be a fun experiment. What is a silly thing that this person is going to say? And I know that I'm not going to get angry about it, No matter how silly it is. And I know that I'm not going to yell at them, No matter how stupid I think their comments are, Because that's not where I'm going to be investing my energy. And I think that's a really important element, As you said. On the one hand, What are the things over the next holidays that are going to be really important to me and I'm going to do? Maybe it's something about baking. Maybe we often have myself and the kids will bake an apple pie for Thanksgiving and other holidays. Right. Point, Really make a list of what are the important things that are going to happen. It might not be at the meal. It might not be the picture. It might not be the fireplace. As important, I think, Is also the list of what are the things that are not going to bother me. And most of us know, Especially if we have large families, What who are the people and what are the situations and what are the topics that might be a place that really causes angst or anger. You say, I'm just not that's not going to bother me. Well, You know, A mantra that I created in those situations is it could possibly be a great idea or it could go incredibly wrong. So you could fill it in anywhere. Right. So it's a it's a great idea. Right. And it also could be probably maybe not a great thing that will actualize. But if you approach it like that, I think the point is it's still worthwhile. Right. We still want to connect family or people that are like family. It's important to have those kinds of connections. But I think our expectation needs to shift. But I just want to underscore this point, Because, Again, This is also around the holidays and people are seeing uncles and cousins and they don't usually see. But it is also true, I think, In general in our world today. I think there's too much. I thought it was desire, But. Choice to get really upset in conversation about something. Right. Rather than just letting it go. Right. Well, I think a lot of people are loaded from the past years we've had with the pandemic and not feeling like they have like they've had some some freedom, Some choices taken away from them. And part of that is celebration. I think that's why people cancel weddings, Different things. So I think that puts even more pressure that this should turn out. But I this might be a topic for a whole other podcast, But I guess again, Often because I do relatively often see two people having an argument and they're really. And again, It's not that the topic is an important topic might be a really important one, But I'm thinking, OK, So you are having these two people. You're not going to change the world by this argument or this hatred that you spew across the table one to the other. Like on some level, Just to see this, OK, You know, This isn't a big deal. Even if even if, Again, The topic can be really important. Even if you're triggered. I think one way to help not react is this. It's a visualization exercise on expectations. Because there are a myriad of reasons that people have holiday blues, But the first clue lies in that one word expectations, Which we've discussed last week, Actually, At great length. But let's focus first on our expectation of ourselves, Because, Again, That's what we can control. So the part that works best with visualization is this. Imagine a family or friend holiday gathering you have coming up. Right. So everybody, All of our listeners, Imagine right now a gathering that's coming up. Picture the people there, What they're doing and what you're doing. What are you talking about? How is the food? How do you feel? And there's no right or wrong answers. But did anybody visualize anything but great food and great company? Well, Maybe if you're honest with yourself, You play envision something else. But good conversation and everybody in a good mood. Right. Because we think like you imagine like last year, Maybe people what they're wearing and smiling and this that because why would we visualize stress or strife or overcooked food? Right. And we're going to have that visualization as part of what they're going to put effort in flying places or whatever the case may be. But that visualization just gave you a clear picture of your expectations. And that's why I think this exercise is an important one, Because you're going to know going into the holiday, What is you expect to have and what you expect the outcome to be or the experience to be. So now you can already manage your own expectations and you can go in with a more accurate picture like that uncle, Whoever the cousin, Whatever usually is problematic or usually they like to start, You know, Difficult conversations. So going in with that understanding or that awareness, Although it may not happen, I think will help for us not to get overwhelmed with, You know, Or disappointment, Really. Right. And also, As we said before, To say, OK, Chances are this person is going to bring up this topic. I either won't engage or even if I do, I'm just not going to get too heated about it. Right. Really actively pre before prepare and say, These are the things that I will not fall into. So there's another really, I think, Important aspect to be aware of. And we haven't really discussed this before. I do like this idea, But it's that and I'm going to speak about the holidays, But really anywhere in life, We can feel that we're left feeling off balance. And then what does it mean to be in balance? So the main couple of stick text, The XOR explains that someone who's connected to the light and to their soul, Regardless of external factors unfolding around them, Is somebody who has a stable spirit. Right. And I love this idea of a stable spirit. Basically, It's somebody who is not affected by anything external, Not good, Not not overly good, Not overly bad. And you just stay in this kind of stability. It's a really hard place to be. And we've talked about this. And that's why I mean, The only way to create and maintain a stable spirit is when your connection to the creator is strong and continuous and fluid. Right. And not any comment and you look any anything can can throw us off. And the reason that people go to such extremes is because they lack balance to a large extent. We have been conditioned to put our joy and bliss on hold for responsibility, For obligations and for priorities. And I hate this part of adulthood because it's something that we all tend to participate in, Even if that's not our intention. Suddenly before you know it, We're so and you need to be responsible. I think I was telling I can't remember we were talking about a few days ago and I was like, Oh, My God, I just wish I didn't have to be responsible in this way, You know, Because especially if you are a responsible person, You're going to take on more and more obligations and responsibilities. But in school, Playtime is scheduled and managed. And when playtime is over, Play ends with it. It becomes about focus and discipline. And while focus and discipline are virtues in their own right, Without balance of play, They become tedious. So we need to find a way to create that in our own lives. And again, It does come from being stable. But I think that, Again, Going into the holidays, Time comes to a screeching halt because internally what we want is to feel joy. What the outside tells us, It's not now. That's why we put so much pressure on the holidays being so much for us. That's the time where we're going to relax. That's the time that we're going to eat whatever we want. That's the time where we're going to just put everything on hold and just be happy. But what if we had that every day of our lives? I think this is the mistake that we make. I think we lack balance also because we're too busy judging ourselves for what we should do or shouldn't do or what we should be or we should eat or say. These thoughts through the scales of balance is skill. Every single day should be enjoyed. It's healthy to indulge daily in moderation. And if you take pleasure and joy in every day, Then there is no desire to binge. It's only when we feel deprived that we try to overzealousy fill that emptiness. And I want to go more into that. But do you want to say something or I can keep going? I'm really excited about this idea of it pains me to see people go so off balance again because they've it's like in Europe, I love that in the summer months, Especially, They close their stores from like five to eight or four to eight. They take a nap, They have dinner and they come back and then they have their stores up until one, Two in the morning. And people, It's just you enjoy, You're not putting, You still have a life, Right? Whereas I think many Americans, They save up so much money and they're planning their vacation time for two weeks a year that they're going to have fun. Right? I remember growing up in Israel in the 70s and 80s that this was the thing. They took it from Europe between two to four every day. You had to like really be quiet because all the neighbors were taking their afternoon nap. That's great. I think that's great. No, I really do. I don't nap. I wish that I. . . Well, The only thing that I would add is it relates to what you were saying before. If we're taking a spiritual view of these family gatherings, Then I think it's also important to understand that there is a purpose to it. And everything you said has to do with the fact that being balanced means that I don't need other people to tell me I'm okay, That who I am and how I view myself is dependent on what I know to be true about myself. So one of the ways to use these family gatherings, Which maybe people don't spend time with their parents that often, Is that ask yourself, How much have I grown in the past year? How much have I grown in the past month so that things that maybe triggered me from these family gatherings don't do so anymore because I know who I am. And I don't need my father, My mother, My cousin to say that I'm okay. The approval part of the validation. Yes. And I think the view is that if for whatever reason I'm in these family gatherings, There's something for me to learn from. There's something for me to grow. And one of the most obvious ways is by saying, Okay, In previous years, These are the things or the people that triggered me. Well, If I'm growing, Then I should at least be less triggered or if not completely not triggered by these people in these situations. So I think it's important to go into these gatherings, Especially if in the past there have been uncomfortable situations, To really use it as an opportunity for spiritual practice. For sure. And I think, Again, To what I was saying just before, For many of the holidays are time for people to do whatever they want. Right. Again, They're unleashing that this is the time where I'm going to have joy. I have Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year's and my two week vacation in the summer. That's really where a lot of people assign their joy to come from. And people have many different that's for some other people's like, Oh, I'm going to go and get that person piece of my mind. I haven't seen them for a year. And last year I didn't like how they behave. That's what people are coming with. So and I think also and I just want to unpack this overindulging bit again, I don't think anybody feels great after the holidays. That's where the holiday blues comes from. But they forget about their diet, Their exercise, Chores, Mundane tasks, And they just let go. Pure leisure, Pure freedom, A time to be happy. But let me tell you this story. I remember this is probably two years ago. I was working out with a woman where I work out and she was in a strict pre-wedding exercise. And diet regimen. She had pushed her body and restricted her food intake with intensity and focus to meet her fitness goals. And as we were talking, She shared that she was getting married a week before Christmas and she couldn't wait for Christmas because she was going to let go as she described it. And letting go involved indulging in rich, High caloric food that she was looking forward to eating in large quantities. So it's a perfect, I think, Analogy for how many of us live our lives. This much excess, Of course, Has real consequences. And I just want to go into the physical part for a second because I thought it was interesting. The average American gains between one to 10 pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Post holiday depression and credit card balance that won't recover until March. And 22% of Americans go into debt during the holidays according to a 2019 study. Fourteen million Americans are still paying off their credit card debt from last December. Are you listening to these numbers? That's crazy. And holiday spending totals in 2019 were 789. 4 billion. That's nine zeros. And that's just in the US alone. So again, Overspending, Overeating, Stress of planning, Perfection of everything is really exhausting. But then the flip side of that is there are very few things more precious than when you look into a child's face when they open a present. And it's what they wanted. And if you ask any parent, Right, They love those moments. But in reality, You know, How long does that child feel that intense joy or desire? Maybe they've forgotten it two hours later, If you're lucky, Some maybe 10 minutes later. It's funny how that works. I mean, I'm not sure this is indicative of anything or there's anything to learn from it. But there are certain gifts that I received throughout my life that I really strongly remember. One of the earliest memories of a gift that I have is probably 19, In the mid to late 70s. And we were living in Israel at the time and my parents had gone to the United States for work. And when they came back, I remember I opened up their suitcase in the morning and they had bought a fire truck, One of those Tonka fire trucks. And literally to this day, This is about 40 years later, I still have a strong memory of that gift. But it's interesting. Yeah, But- I know what to get you for holiday. A Tonka fire truck. But I'm sure there's thousands and thousands of gifts that I've received since then that I don't remember at all. Interesting. Yeah. I don't know if there's any lessons from that. No, Maybe you were just anticipating because they had gone on a trip and they were coming back and they thought of you and they packaged in the suitcase and the care that came along with that. I mean, It's probably we can unpack that another time. But what I wanted to say is that, So what do we do? We want to see our children's faces or people we love to light up like that. So we buy more things to try to get more of these moments. And it's like pumpkin pie. One piece is fine, But you might have five and then you feel sick. And it's all of that over gifting, Overspending, Overeating. And I think a lot of it is, Again, Going into the holidays and the magic of holidays and family life itself. Reframe it. Right. It's a time to spend doing whatever you want. And I really think and this is what I want to challenge everybody in our listeners to consider it shouldn't just be over these few times a year. And so I'm asking our listeners, What do you put enormous effort into during the holidays? Is it delicious, Nurturing food? Is it mood enhancing decor, Relaxation time, Time spent with family? Alcohol. One second. OK. I think that's one of the most important. And extended relatives that you deprive yourself of the rest of the year. How can you begin to cultivate joy on a daily basis rather than trying to fit it all into a single day or week? That's a very important point. And I think maybe the most important thing our listeners can receive from this podcast is not even so much, Which I think there is some wisdom here, But how to go into the holidays. But what you just said now, Not just around the holidays, It could be like you said, Around the vacation too many times. We say, Well, I'm really unhappy now. I'm really unhappy tomorrow. And I'll be really unhappy for the next few weeks. But I have this big vacation coming up in two months. That is not the way we want to live our lives. By the way, If that vacation gets canceled because a hurricane hit the place, Whatever, Something out of your control, That's why people get so devastated when their plans are changed because they put so much and they think that there's no other way. They'll have to wait another year or they'll have to. You might lose their you. The way we approach life, I think, Often is backwards. It's not a joy filled existence for many of us. And to put it clearly, How do we bring in celebrations or whatever word you want to use into our daily lives? Well, I've given this a lot of thought. Oh, Really? Yes. Because I think that I personally struggled with that growing up. There wasn't I didn't, For whatever reason, Have a lot of joy daily. I was more worried type. And so I definitely assign things. And can you imagine my disappointment constantly because it never met my expectations? I've never seen you disappointed. Yes, I know. I've changed all of those things. Oh, No, I was going to say because I'm such a good husband. So this is my advice. Every single day, No matter what day it happens to be on the calendar, Is an opportunity to appreciate and spend our time exactly as we wish to. Wow, We're so lucky, Right, That we can do that. As I've said before, We only have so much time. We get to decide what to do and think each day. What a gift. To a great extent, We get to decide how to feel each day. Every day becomes an opportunity to redefine how we live and what we choose to focus on. So my intention of today's podcast is really this. I really want our listeners to go into the holidays, But really into the year and into your life with this understanding. I'm going to say it again. Every day becomes an opportunity to redefine how we live and what we choose to focus on. Getting to spend time with our families and loved ones is a gift. Waking up with a healthy body is a daily miracle and can be celebrated. Celebrate holidays or birthdays or any other special occasion. And more importantly, Celebrate every day. We don't need to wait for those assigned days to celebrate. By celebrating Monday morning, Thursday afternoon, And all the time in between, We awaken our appreciation for everyday miracles. When we do this, We allow all of those miracles to rush into our lives. And suddenly, The world won't feel quite as mad. Why aren't we living like this every day instead of trying to shoehorn a year's worth of enjoyment in a day or a week? Well, I think each person has to answer that for themselves. But my holiday message is to wish that all of our listeners live every day as if it were a holiday, Finding joy in giving every day, Enjoying delicious food every day, And spending quality time with the most important people of our lives every day. Did you want to add something? Yes. I just want to say something actually to Amia Kalpa. So as you were talking, I realized, And it's something that I know, But I think it's important to share, But also hopefully our listeners can hear you. Monica's getting excited. So I'm curious what your great new epiphany is. Yes. No, It's around the kids. So I think very often, Like I said, There are other times a year where work is either slow or stops. And we always talk, So this is what we're going to spend hopefully, At least with our younger kids, We're going to spend all this time. And if I find myself during the rest of the year sometimes saying, OK, It's fine that I'm busy working now and don't have as much time for this child or that child, But there's a vacation coming up in a month or whatever that is, When of course, And I often try to remind myself, No, That's great that you have planned a month from now or two months, Whatever that is, To spend four days altogether as a family, But grab the 30 minutes a day and do it as well. And I know that for myself, And I'm assuming for some of our listeners as well, There is that I'd say mistake of because we have the vacation coming up or the holiday coming up and therefore I can say, OK, But I'll be very busy and not have time for my loved ones or whoever it is that is important to us. But here's a sobering thought is with this injury that I realize you don't know what the situation is going to be in a month or two. You don't know how you will be able to experience it. And for me, This has been very sobering the last couple of months, Even though, Of course, You know, You still participate in life. It's never going to be how you pictured it to be, Because you never know the situation in your own life or in the world in general. The pandemic, Again, Can speak to that. Right. I'm sure so many people had so many plans in those two years that, You know, Erase, Erase, Cancel, Postpone. So really, You know, Take these moments for the gifts that they are. And it's not, You know, Don't assign it to a holiday, To an Easter. And that's always drives me up the wall. If you ever walk through like a Walgreens or a CVS and it's like Valentine's Day is coming or Easter is coming or it's like Halloween is coming. But why can't you be like it's Monday? Monday is coming, You know, And really to that point, It's like almost so you're not going to celebrate love unless it's Valentine's Day. No, Celebrate it every day. That's a very important point. So I think, Again, While there are, I think, Important tools here for our listeners as they go into the family gatherings and to the holidays, I think the most important message is what is joyful, What is important to you is something you should be doing all the time, Every day. Find ways to incorporate and live a life that brings in those moments of joy, Those moments, Spending time with the people important to you, Not on the assigned times. That's important to do as well. Those are just add ons as I want to see it. Right. Really make make the other days shine. Yeah. All right. Well, Happy holidays, Folks. Yeah, I think I think, As we said, One of the most important if I was going to take away, I think there's three takeaways that I would give to our listeners. First, Like Monica said, As you look to these family gatherings or celebrations, However you do them, Decide what are the things that you will be paying attention to and what are the things that you know might happen, But you will not be paying attention to. And second, I think the idea of viewing these celebrations gatherings as a spiritual opportunity, Especially if there are certain people in situations that trigger you, Proactively plan and how you're going to use it as a time of growth by either not becoming upset at this person or that person and so on, But really track your change, Your transformation. Last year, This person said this or this situation happened and I got so upset. This year that's not going to happen because I've developed, I've grown and I don't need external approbation for me. And the third, Which is maybe is the most important because it's not just for this time of year, Is to make sure that you are celebrating every day and to make sure that you're spending time with people that are important to you every day, That you find the elements that make the holidays the best time of the year. If they're really important to you, Make them a part of every day of the year. So I hope you enjoyed listening to this podcast as much as we enjoyed recording it. And I hope that you have an amazing time and holidays over the next few weeks. And more, Most importantly, That you live a life that is filled with celebrations and the important things every day. Stay spiritually hungry. Bye.