Welcome to Life Unedited Sanctuary,
Where reality happens.
I'm Tiffany,
And I've been a reality therapist for 21 years,
Walking the path of radically accepting reality.
This is a reading specific to the inability to switch off worry and overthinking from a reality perspective.
Anxiety has reached epidemic proportions.
The reason I mention this is because worry and overthinking are two symptoms of anxiety.
Why do we worry?
Most people say they worry because they care about someone or some possible outcome.
However,
Worrying is a negative emotion.
Care is a positive emotion.
A negative cannot equal a positive.
Worry is fear-based and sends negative energy to the person and situations we care about.
Though that may not be our intention,
Worry cannot affect an outcome in a positive way and often affects us negatively.
Worry causes stress and can literally make us sick to our stomachs.
It takes our minds off of other things that might be more positive and productive because what we are worrying about becomes our focus.
We lose precious sleep,
Ruminating on possible outcomes.
Worry is not positive,
No matter how we twist it.
When we attach to a worry thought,
Our minds spiral into all kinds of negative places and worst case scenarios in an attempt to control or solve an outcome that has not yet occurred.
In reality,
Worry sinks us into negativity,
And we know through the law of attraction that like attracts like.
Our negative worry attracts negative results.
If we are worrying about why our 16-year-old daughter isn't home yet,
And it is past curfew,
Our minds are quick to consider every possible disaster.
She got in a car wreck,
She's in jail,
Or she's passed out somewhere.
The worry then pushes negative energy out into the universe about the situation.
Can our worry change the outcome?
No,
And in fact,
It is manifesting somatically inside of us by releasing hormones,
Raising our heart rate and blood pressure,
And again,
Oftentimes making us nauseous.
Overthinking is a symptom of a worry spiral.
When we are worrying,
We begin to overthink everyday thoughts and decisions.
Overthinking is a sure sign of a lack of trust in ourselves.
When we don't trust ourselves,
We second-guess and overthink decisions and choices we make,
What people say to us and about us,
And the stories we tell ourselves about the things we experience in our lives.
Both worrying and overthinking are related to our mind's desire to control in the name of protecting us,
Usually from change or the unknown.
Control is an illusion.
The sooner we are all able to grasp this theory,
The more peaceful our lives will be.
There is no such thing as control.
If we think about it,
Just when we think we have a situation under control,
Something else comes along to disrupt what we have perceived as control.
For example.
We wake up feeling great.
We're ready for work.
It's a good hair day.
Our outfit fits nicely.
And we're all set to slay the day,
Which is filled with all kinds of meetings and appointments.
We're feeling in control.
We grab our coffee and head to the car,
Then trip over the cat and spill the coffee everywhere.
Not so much control.
The reality therapy interpretation of this unfolding is that was the universe's way of slowing us down to be present in each moment and reminding us that we are not in control.
This is not to say that we do not have responsibility for ourselves or our choices,
And that life just happens to us.
I'm saying that ultimately,
It is not up to us.
Our free will allows us the ability to make choices,
To exert energy into the universe by way of those choices,
And that energy could have some effect on the outcomes.
Where do you think anxiety comes from?
Anxiety is what happens when our mind tries to create an illusion of control over a future event that has not happened.
The anxious mind can go wild what if-ing possible negative scenarios and coming up with possible responses.
Though the mind thinks that we are protecting ourselves and solving the future to make ourselves feel better,
We only create more anxiety.
Several things are happening all at once here.
We are sending negative energy out into the universe in a kind of pay-it-forward manner.
We are not present in our here and now where we are actually fine.
And we are chasing an illusion we will not catch.
Buddha said,
Attachment is suffering.
Our unhealthy attachment to the illusion of control causes us deep suffering.
Trying to control exhausts us,
Misleads us,
And delays our peace.
So what is our alternative?
Choosing to keep our mind in the present moment.
Choosing to find gratitude for the here and now.
Choosing to trust in what is,
And to detach from the outcome.
Just breathe into this moment.
Because this moment is all that's ever really ours.
Worry is not care.
Worry is not love.
Worry is fear,
Dressed in love's clothing.
We can always choose a different response,
One that is rooted in the love we intend.
We can choose gratitude.
Instead of worrying for someone or something,
We can find gratitude for them.
We can choose to think of the best possible outcome instead of the worst.
We can choose to feel grateful for the best possible outcome,
As if it has already happened,
And send positive energy into the universe instead of negative.
It's like sending a prayer.
And that's all we wanted,
Isn't it?
Re-establishing trust in ourselves is paramount to decreasing our habit of overthinking.
Our first step toward rebuilding or regrowing our self-trust is to remember that it is in us already.
It's innate.
We were born trusting ourselves.
Upon remembering,
The next step is to notice when we overthink,
Stop ourselves in that moment,
And reframe our thought as a gratitude statement about the best possible outcome.
This is a conscious choice.
As we practice reframing,
We lean into trusting,
Approving,
And validating ourselves.
We grow trust and confidence in us.
When we practice gratitude,
It also increases the positive energy inside of our bodies.
And that is never a bad thing.
Not only can we relieve ourselves of the uncomfortable symptoms of worry and the spiral of overthinking,
We can also increase the positive energy around us.
Worry does not mainly care,
But gratitude always does.
