Conscious Living Collective - Why We Struggle?

49:48

49:48

Conscious Living Collective - Why We Struggle?

by Tomek Wyczesany, Ph.D.

Rated

4.7

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

1k

This is a recording of meeting of Conscious Living Collective from 5th of May 2022. We explore question: why we struggle? 0:00 Intro + Significance of Struggle; 35:19 Meditation; 47:00 Final Remarks. If you have any questions related to this topic, feel free to post them in our group: Conscious Living Collective.

Meditation Consciousness Self Exploration Challenges Presence Attention Community Mindfulness Social Media Overcoming Challenges Intention Setting Community Support Heart And Mind Intentions Social Media Impact

Meet your Teacher

Tomek Wyczesany, Ph.D.

Sunshine Coast QLD, Australia

Meet your Teacher

Tomek Wyczesany, Ph.D.

Sunshine Coast QLD, Australia

Transcript

Welcome to another session of Conscious Living Collective, The place where we explore practical ideas for more conscious, More empowered living. My name is Tomik, I'm a teacher here on Inside Timer, Also a scientist, But most importantly like yourself, An explorer and a seeker of a more conscious life. Which I can be better myself, Exploring who is that person that is my better self and how to be on this planet in a way that is more conscious, More aware, More fulfilled. So here we are. Let me check in with you, Who's here with us. Thank you for answering my question by the way. If you're tuning in for the first time or not for the first time, Please state your intention, So to speak. What is your intention behind this session? Basia says connection, Sharon says calm. Beautiful. Whichever intention you bring here, It is valid because you are the active ingredient of these sessions. And for those of you who are here for the first time, Please raise your hand and say, Yes, I am here for the first time. This is a kind of our tradition. And all of you who are regulars in Conscious Living Collective, Please do welcome all those who are here for the first time. So hello, Basia. Hello, Sharon. Hello, Wendy. Hello, Sandy. Kathy. Thank you for being here, Amy. Amy comes from Florida. Hello, Caroline. Tanya is here for the first time from Massachusetts. Seth, Welcome. Good to see you all. Amanda from Colorado. First timer. Good to see you here, Amanda. There you go. Anami, Welcome. Since her welcome in my mother tongue, Polish. Good to see you here. And Anami's intention is to connect deeply with myself and with life. So this is beautiful. This is the exactly intention behind all the sessions of Conscious Living Collective. Although every single time we have a different take on it and we explore different aspects and angles of that connection, It is always there. And for those of you who are here for the first time, Just to mention, We start with a short introduction. I answer some questions. I bring some of my own thoughts and then we practice. Then we put all those thoughts aside and try to see and feel an experience, Have the direct experience of what it really is to be present to yourself and connect with that true self. I said that before. One of my favorite quotes says, The longest journey ever going to take is from your head to your heart, Only 30 centimeters long. However, What I found through my exploration and my experience is this is not journey that we take only once. This is a journey that I take on a daily basis, On a moment to moment basis, To take myself from the head, From all the conditioning, All my ego personality, False belief systems, False belief and limiting beliefs into my heart when I can experience, Regardless of the circumstances, Being myself and feel and have direct experience of what that self is. Hello. Hello, Sean from Arizona. First time. Good to see you here. So something that I want to talk to you about is related to what I already said, The journey that we are here on. And again, Journey that I invite you to take with me during those sessions is the journey from the head to your heart. And what it really means is to move away from all the limitations that are so often related to our upbringing, Are related to our conditioning, Are related to our life circumstances and connect as we do in a meditation practice with that deeper essence, Whatever that is for you. And it's not something that I can describe or I can present to you. This is something that you can discover for yourself. And my latest realization is a simple one that life is tough. The existence in this reality system, As I call it, Is challenging. And one of the challenges is that we spend so much time in our heads. One of the things that I experience on a daily basis is the torture that my mind gives me. My mind tortures me with a constant stream of thoughts and commentaries and shoulds, Woulds and coulds, And does not leave much space for being connected with myself or being myself or even to discover who I am amongst all those thoughts. Because after reading so many books and having so many experiences, I realize I am not my own thoughts, Nor my own emotions. This is certainly an important aspect of daily living. But we do not come here to Conscious Living Collective to simply relieve our struggles, Our thoughts, Working on the task that we manage on a regular basis, On a moment-to-moment basis. We are here to dive a bit deeper, Go under the surface of all of that. And what I discover as well is that one does not exist with the other. Even though we try to ignore the need for rest, For rejuvenation, For meditation, For all those forms that bring us back to ourselves, And for the majority of the day we focus on the things that come from our head that does not deny the reality of that inner self. And that's the purpose of this very session. So, These days, As I am challenged by this reality system, And I am challenged in many different ways, And I don't even want to say what my challenges are because they are different for everyone, And something that is challenging for me may be actually very easy for you, And something that is easy for me may be challenging for you. So, It is not the matter the significance of the challenge, But the fact that these challenges are designed, We've been given challenges that are unique to our circumstances, And challenges that help us to discover those aspects of self that perhaps has been dormant. My realization was that most of the things that we've been given, They are pointers towards something deeper. For those who are searching for your life purpose, I can tell you right now that your life purpose, That you've given yourself, Is to learn and to develop, To grow, To evolve, Whichever word you choose for yourself. This is the reason why we are struggling. Ask yourself, When are you growing? Are you growing when things are alright? When everything is, I like this word in English, Pitchy? Or where you have to face a challenge, A struggle? When you find those best opportunities to grow? I had a wonderful session with my patrons last week, And I was privileged to hear a lot of personal stories, Personal stories of their struggles, And also how overcoming those challenges and going through those struggles, Actually defined who they are and make a huge difference in their lives. It wasn't easy, But that was the one thing that moved the needle for them, Overcoming those challenges. So my idea here in Conscious Living Collective is to face those challenges collectively. This is what I find very difficult these days, That in spite of the fact that our world is focused on connection, All the social media promise connection, Connect better. The opposite is true. We feel more and more alienated, Lonely, And disconnected. Do you feel that? Or is it just me? Every time I jump on my Facebook feed, I just find more of the same. Nothing really interesting, Nothing makes me more connected or included. But on the contrary, It's a food for that part of my brain that just needs attention. It doesn't make me feel that I am part of something bigger. So how do you feel? Hello, Kavita. Hello, And thank you so much for your kind support and your donation. As you know, You are always welcome to click that button on your screen and send me a coffee. I think this is the best way of putting it, To sharing a coffee, Which I really love. So thank you for all your support, But most importantly, For your presence. I really like exploring those ideas with you and hear from you about your experiences, Because this is the exchange that I'm looking for here within the realms of conscious living collective. Exploring those struggles and challenges together, Because one thing that is given and it's been shown over and over again in science, In literature, In our history, Is that we are where we are because our ability to connect. So every time that connection is taken away from us, We're missing something. And that's how I feel very often, That in spite of all this superficial connection and ability to even talk to you from the comfort of my own studio. Is absolutely phenomenal, But it's not a substitute for connecting face to face. So one of the opportunities actually we have again, Maybe a substitute, But maybe a closer one is sessions with my patrons, As I said to you, We connect via Zoom and we have those intimate conversations about our challenges. And it becomes clear that facing them together gives an extra layer of support. It's much easier. So maybe something I want to come back to with regards to all the challenges that we are facing is that when we are connected with, Rather with the thoughts inside of our head and identify with the thoughts in our head, As opposed to be connected with our true self and drop in as we learn when we meditate. Facing those challenges becomes a bit different because you gain a new perspective. You are no longer those challenges. You are a self, A empowered self that faces something that has a potential of improving quality of your life or helping you to grow, Helping you to learn and changing that conversation, So to speak, In your head is absolutely fundamental to your growth. Amanda says, Social media, I think, Brought my anxiety to the surface along with FOMO, Fear of missing out and imposter syndrome. I turn off all notifications now and only get one when I want to, Not when I get a notification. Thank you, Amanda, For this comment. Yeah, You see FOMO, Until actually recently, Well recently, Maybe a year or two ago, I didn't know what FOMO is. I was not interested. What that acronym means, Fear of missing out. Rather than using our ability to connect, We use social media as a mean of competition, Not collaboration, Competition. The way I see our sessions here, It's a collaboration. I've got nothing to prove to you. I'm just here for the joy and pleasure of your presence and your being, And I feel inspired talking to you. I feel inspired when I meditate with you. I feel elevated and supported. I suppose when you go on social media and all of a sudden you see all those superficial pictures and stories that are taken out of the contest and what you experience is insufficiency. I'm not good enough. I can't be this influencer or that person or look that good or feel that good. Again, We are very much trapped in the false stories in the same way, Interesting enough, As we are trapped in through our false belief systems, Something that again comes from your head, And then we travel back from the head to the heart, That 30 centimeter long journey on a moment to moment basis, Coming back to yourself. Basha says nothing matches person to person connection. Grateful for media, But wouldn't be lively if we were all physically together for this meditation. Would be lovely, I guess. It would, Absolutely. And now that we're coming out of the time of pandemic, I already started organizing life in person meditations here for my local community. And it feels wonderful. It's wonderful to I'm blessed to live by the beach and sitting on Saturday morning with a group of friends and looking at the sunrise and then going and grabbing coffee together. It has that quality that I tell you it's very difficult to reproduce in any kind of the virtual format. It's very difficult. Yeah, That's shown says just like when someone asks, How are you? And your answer is fine. Not real communication. Yeah, This is something that I was very surprised to hear when I came here to Australia for the first time. And people ask me, How are you? And I was ready to share my story. It's like, Oh, Yeah, This, This. And people are looking at me strangely because there were that was just a superficial greetings and nothing to do with the actual question. Now, Obviously, I've learned different and maybe my emotional connection to it is not not that strong. But think about the significance of this very thing, How most of our connections are superficial, Even though from the in the center of ourselves, We want a deeper connection. Nobody wants to go through life having superficial connections. Everybody wants to have these deep connections. And yet every time you answer, How are you? It's superficial. So perhaps a lesson for all of us, Including me, Is if you want a deeper connection, Start creating those connections for yourselves. Be the change you want to see in the world, As a famous saying goes. The Alexandra says that fine is a word I try to avoid. What does it mean? What does it hide? I think the word fine, And most of the responses is the way of avoidance, Actually. And and again, Perceiving again, That comes from a perception that we treat everyone. Someone, Someone, People try to get me. They are my enemies. And I very much know that voice in my head. Right. When I walk down the street, When I when I go shopping and I see a mob, It's just a mass of people. There's no no personal connection. And this is this is a horrible feeling. This is not the world we want to surround ourselves with. And hence, As a response to that, Maybe on some level, Again, Not not 100 percent, But to some extent, Us being here and trying to at least rekindle that connection. That comes through real conversation, Sharing your real challenges and not saying just how are you? I'm fine. But saying, Yeah, Maybe I'm struggle or I have this challenge and I have to face it and and maybe I don't have enough courage. And when you come out of here, Maybe you feel, Oh, Yeah, There are people like myself around me that struggle and they face challenges like me. And I feel empowered to take it on after this session ends. Sometimes people ask, How are you? When we answer, Not good. They will say, Oh, OK. I think that the thing is people do not actually listen to what we what we have say. And they already they have the entire conversation in their heads. They are not interested in our answers. I think that's that to make it more general. But thanks, Nima. That is that is very true. Sean says, I'm here to be a friend who is struggling. He spent all spare minutes on the phone talking, Which is OK, But always Facebook throughout his anxiety is very high. Yeah, This is unfortunately something that I see everywhere. People having out of body experiences. Which means they out of body when they are social media and on the on the devices. They have no idea what's happening around them to the extent that sometimes they run into a lump posts and they trip and they not even aware. And they they kind of get up is like, What just happened? Because they were not there. They were not present to this physical reality completely. And the research shows clearly that actually social media is a source of our anxiety. The social media create more problem, More problems than they solve. Again, There's nothing wrong with it as everything. It's a tool and it's up to us how we use this tool. However, The developers of those all those platforms, They are more and more interested in siphoning your attention rather than anything else. That's the first and prime objective, Because then they convert it into into currency. They can benefit from it. Keep in mind, And I always said that many times, That your attention is your most important mental currency. There's nothing more important in this world than your attention. Do not think that the money that you have, The number that you have on your bank account is important. It's not important. I think I've read somewhere that over the past year, We printed more money. 80 percent of all the money that is in the world has been printed in the last year. So money is not real. What is real, However, Is your attention. There's no substitute to your attention. All right. For all those people who try to get you, So to speak, If you do not give them your attention, They got nothing. They cannot possibly hurt you. However, If they get your attention, And there are many ways of doing it, That's where everything starts. That's how social media thrive. Once they get you on that unlimited or infinite newsfeed, That's where they get you. Interesting enough, The inventor of the unlimited or infinite newsfeed was awarded on Facebook. So basically what happened before, You had a couple of friends and they had something to say, And after a couple of swipes, You came to the end of the story. These days, Facebook is designed and all the social media is designed. It doesn't matter how long, You keep scrolling. It never ends. It's never ending feed. You could spend 24 hours, 48 hours, 72 hours on it, And it will never end, Because the algorithms are designed to feed you more and more and more and more. They keep you in that limbo of it. It's just a curious observation or a fact that some of you may be not aware of. Hello Manuela. Good to see you here. Training our attention, Very important indeed, Indeed. Training our attention, But also making, In the spirit of our gathering, Conscious choices about where you direct the attention. If you, Say, Have $1, 000 on your bank account, You then just unconsciously throw them wherever I know the situation requires you to. You carefully see, Okay, I have $1, 000. I want to invest it here. I want to invest it intelligently, So maybe that $1, 000 will bring me a return, Bring me interest. As opposed, Our attention retreats. We don't treat like that. We just throw away our attention to the left, To the right, And by the end of the day, We completely deplete it, Because nobody tells you that attention is much more valuable than money. Your mental currency is way more much valuable than money. So absolutely, Manuela, Training your attention, And particularly training your attention to keep it as your resource, And making wise choices what you directed, That's how life is created. You create your life around you with directing your attention. You may direct your attention, As in my case, To a beautiful sunrise and to inner peace. Or I can give my attention to the thoughts that are constantly being streamed, Like the social media almost. The constant feeds that I'm receiving from my head, Telling me things that are not true. They're just simply a commentary to things, And very often I'm being captured by them, And my attention is siphoned to that. So many different ways of directing your attention. Okay, We're coming to half an hour, So I would like to start a meditation right now. And unless you have any other questions or comments with regards to what we've been talking about. So for those of you who joined recently, This session is called Conscious Living Collective, And we are collectively here, Facing the challenges of our life. We just said at the beginning, Just to summarize, That life is challenging. My life is certainly challenging. If your life is all, As I said, Peachy, Please let me know. I'll be happy to connect with you and ask you for how you do it. But my life is challenging, And if your life is challenging as mine is, You are in a good place. Because we are here together to support each other, To empower each other, And to be together because it's easier. For those of you who have the idea that at some point of your life all challenges disappear, And there'll be nothing else to do, I am sorry to disappoint you. That is not going to happen. Even though you may retire, The word I really dislike, The word retire, You may retire from your work, But there's no such thing as retirement from your life. Life is here to challenge you, Because that's how you grow, That's how you learn, That's how you evolve, Which is the entire point of it, For those of you who are looking for a purpose. Amanda says, My husband interrupts me while I'm talking all the time and feel so disrespected. Our counselor told me to buy pom-pom, Craft ball, And keep them in my pocket. Everyone, He interrupts, I toss pom-pom at him. I'm sorry, I'm laughing about the pom-pom, Not about the fact that your husband interrupts you. It is one of the biggest challenges in our era. It is, And we actually mentioned it during this conversation, It is communication. And the fact that people do not listen, People are not interested in your opinions, People are only interested in what they have to say. If you want evidence for that, Think about next time you talk to someone, And you have a conversation with someone, When the other person talks to you, Do you listen to that person, Or do you think about the response that you're going to give to him or her? This is a constant practice to me, When I have a conversation with someone, To just be present to what the other person has to say. Thank you, Thank you Amanda for sharing. And I love that, Yeah, Karla I agree with you. I really love throwing pom-poms at your husband to remind him. Because it is, This is the throwing a pom-pom, I understand it serves as a reminder to be present, To come back to not just himself, But to you, To both of you. Coming back to the present, Making that trip 30 centimeters long once again, From your head to your heart. It's not just one trip, Taking this trip all the time, The more time you spend in your heart, The easier it is to face all those challenges. Sandy says when we are really listening to someone, We are showing them that they are important too. Absolutely, Absolutely. And that's where the conversation is. That's why it's called conversation, Not a monologue. Amanda says, Yep, To get his attention because he doesn't even realize. I think this is a very important point that Amanda makes, Just very shortly comment on that. You cannot blame a person that is unconscious or who is unconscious. If you talk to a baby, A toddler, And you tell him to stop crying, You can expect that toddler to just stop crying because that toddler does not understand, Did not develop the ability to talk, Let alone to understand what you have to say. But the very same example applies to adults as well. If you are unconscious of what is happening, How can you solve that challenge? How can you solve this problem? So, We solving our problems, The first and foremost, They say that 90% of the effort that comes to solving a problem is to ask the right question and to actually recognize what the problem is and defining the problem. Once you define problem precisely, The solution usually is much easier. But if you are not aware of the problem, How can you solve it? Amy says, I believe some people live unconsciously much of the time. I raise my hand. I'm the people. I'll be very honest with you. Even though I practice meditation and I talk to you about consciousness here, I find myself being very unconscious most of the time. I keep coming back, Oh, Jesus, I was unconscious again. Oh, And again, Oh, And again. It happens to me all the time. So, I think this is the understatement, Amy. Seth says, The practice of active listening to a person or music or nature or the sounds of the city has been wonderful means for Huey presence for me. This is how we interact with life. The act of giving your attention to anything or anyone. This is the biggest gift you can give to anyone and to yourself to actively direct your attention, Consciously making those choices where the attention goes. For presence, Yeah, That's what I, For presence for me. Thank you. Thank you, Seth. OK, Once again, Thank you for all your support and for all of you who clicked that donation button and showed me a coffee. I hugely appreciate it. As a return, You can have access to my library of all the meditations. I think 100 of them on Insight Timer. And you can come to my website as well and sign up to my mailing list. You can follow me on Insight Timer to receive all the notifications about upcoming events, Particularly Conscious Living Collective. For those of you who are here for the first time, We gather every week at the same time to discuss, To meditate together and to get empowered in whichever challenges we are facing at the same time, Regardless of our circumstances. OK, Let's get into it. I invite you to take a deep cleansing breath. I've been talking a lot. And I suddenly mixed. I've been so in between on that journey, On that path from my head to my heart. I've been somewhere in between, I think in my throat. That's the halfway through and using my presence, But also my intellect to communicate with you. But now it is time to drop and take that journey a bit further and closer to your heart. And to do so, We always begin with removing obvious obstacles to that presence. And that is physical discomfort. It is not purpose for me to make you suffer physically. I think we suffer mentally enough and to add insult to the injury, As the English saying goes. It is not my intention here. So make yourself feel at ease and as comfortable as humanly possible. I usually roll my shoulders, Drop them away from my ears. They drop a bit. All the tension that you've been holding. Feel free to release it. Take that deep breath. Usually when you breathe in deeply, You see you connect with all the tension in your body and being studying aware of this tension. And that's usually enough to to release it. You don't need to do anything else. Just stop being aware. I usually put my feet on the floor. You can't see it, But I use them as a way to center myself and ground myself. I allow my eyes to close. And first and foremost, Recognize that I am not alone. I have your kind presence here with me. And hopefully you listening actively to the words I say, Not because my words are important, But because connection between all of us here is important. Recognize that I act here as a liaison between you and 60 people from what I see that gathered from around the world. And we form a connection that goes beyond physical because we physically obviously not present. Although how lovely would it be to meditate in a group of 60 or people from around the world. But even though the physical physical connection does not there. We are connected mentally. We are on a level that very often we do not recognize. However, The level that is also very important. Recognizing that we are here for each other. So we cannot recognize the presence. We will recognize the result or effects of that presence by the ease in which we can drop into this meditation or drop into the self. And we begin that journey from the head to the heart. And you will realize that in an attempt of making that journey. You will have to come back many times. There'll be thoughts, Emotions, The recollection of the past, Anticipation of the future. Your mind will try to siphon that very precious resource that you have your attention. And those very moments you simply will shine a light of consciousness. On this very fact. And by this fact you are back to here and now. Because you made a conscious choice. And that is empowering in itself. The conscious choice that you make. It is the essence. The more you train that ability to make conscious choices. The more you are in charge of the life. Around you and you become a conscious co-creator of your experience as opposed being unconscious follower of the experiences that others create for you. So you coming home coming back to yourself. Sometimes what you find is not necessarily pleasant. Your mind may tell you I don't like that about myself. But always remember that this is a commentary that comes from a conditioned mind. You may listen to it but it doesn't mean that what your mind feeds you is true. There is no need to give too much importance to your thoughts. Mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. And this is something to recognize right now. So keep coming back to yourself every time. Your mind interrupts. Your bodily sensations interrupt. Dropping into that inner sense connecting with the inner senses as opposed to the external senses. And realize that this is a very pleasant journey. Coming back to yourself. Coming back home. Perhaps as Mr. Duffy you are standing a couple feet away from yourself. And now you coming back. Recognizing that you are loved, You are worthy and you are enough. And all the challenges that you are facing in this very moment are here for you to grow and to learn. They are not here to punish you. And every single person as we meditate here have their own challenges. Do not feel alone. Feel included and supported and united by those challenges. Because when you are in a collective and you feel understood and included and supported it is easier to grow. Moving along this path from the head to the heart collectively with a friend by your side. And certainly I am here for you to hold the space to be by your side as you walk this challenging path. No doubt. Every time you hit a bump on the road, Every time your attention goes away into unconscious, Do not worry. I am here to bring you back. I am here to support you. Same way as so many of us from around the world. And now to conclude, Make a mental note of that presence that is within you. The presence that is always ever expanding. You may have a glimpse of it within this meditation but this is something that you can always come back to and you should come back to as often as possible. That is the source of your power. That is the source of the reality that you create around you. So one more time make a mental note of that. And to finish up take one deep cleansing breath. And when you are ready open your eyes and welcome back. Thank you so much for your presence, For being here meditating with me. Thank you for all your comments and all your questions. Sharing is a very important part of every session of Conscious Living Collective. For those of you who tuned in later, We gather every week and if you wish to receive notification the easiest way is to go to my profile on Insight Timer. Hit that follow button and click that bell button that will send you infrequent notifications about upcoming events and my meditations. So this is it. I wish you a wonderful day. I wish you that you carry the presence with you through the entire day and every time you fall into unconscious simply enjoy the fact of recognizing it. Oh yeah I was unconscious and now I'm back. Once again I think I'm here like a bit acting like a broken record and making that journey from the head to your heart, From the head to your heart, From the head to your heart. Every time you fall into unconscious and you very quickly realize that your day will feel much more empowered and you feel much less drained because your mental attention, The precious mental currency that you possess will be preserved as opposed unconsciously spent on unimportant things like social media that we spoke about. Thank you guys. Thank you Caroline, Sandy, Kathy, Nima, Leslie, Seth. Thank you very much Kathy. I very appreciate it. Thank you for shouting me a coffee. And thank you those of you who didn't say anything that's absolutely fine. Your presence is still very much appreciated and I welcome you here. You're always welcome here. So right now I want to send you off with my best regards, Best wishes and the presence that this conscious collective creates and expands. Thank you for being a co-creator of this space. So I look forward to seeing you next time and until then bye bye.