Mindful Pause - Essential Practice

45:33

45:33

Mindful Pause - Essential Practice

by Tomek Wyczesany, Ph.D.

Rated

4.6

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talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

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3.4k

This is a recording of a live session. Mindful Pause is an essential practice if you take your mental, emotional and spiritual growth seriously. In this session, we will discuss the significance of the practice and how to incorporate it into your daily life. Discussion + Meditation

Mindfulness Present Moment Mind Wandering Breathing Awareness Acceptance Intuition Mindset Compassion Spiritual Growth Meditation Mindful Pause Present Moment Awareness Scientific Evidence Emotional Acceptance Self Compassion Mental Reset

Meet your Teacher

Tomek Wyczesany, Ph.D.

Sunshine Coast QLD, Australia

Meet your Teacher

Tomek Wyczesany, Ph.D.

Sunshine Coast QLD, Australia

Transcript

Hello, Welcome to another live session. My name is Tomek, A teacher here on Inside Timer, Transformation coach, And most importantly, Scientist with my scientific mind, Welcoming you to this session. And also happy to be here. Hello, Nima. Hello, Katie. Hello, Judy. Sharon, Michelle, Cathy, Dorothy. So good to see you all here. I'm glad to welcome all the regulars, All the familiar faces. So good to be here. As always, I give you a minute or two to make yourself feel comfortable for everybody else to join in. And as it is a ritual almost during those live sessions, I'd be curious to know who is here for the first time. So please raise your hand when you are here for the first time. Hello, V. Good to see you. Basia. Oh, Hello, Charlotte. I intentionally started this session early here, Early morning here in Sydney, 630. So some of you in Europe also can join. My previous sessions were a bit later in the day, More suitable for the US. But now hopefully everybody can join in and be present with us because these sessions are indeed about us being together and growing, Evolving, Joyfully fulfilling ourselves here. Hello, Timothy. Hello, Karen, Pete, Sarah. Pete says, Started yoga yesterday, First time in your session. I'm an IDST also, Which I believe refers to the time zone. Yeah, Good to see you here, Charlotte. I know my sessions were not very good for the time for the Oslo time in Norway. But now, Now that we are, Caroline, 530 in the morning. Thank you for your presence. Always, I always say that Caroline being my regular, Regular lesson, Regular student, Also a very important participant of my inner circle, Which goes on Patreon. If you're interested of joining inner circle and have more intimate, Closed conversations with me and a group of friends now, I can call them, Please consider supporting me through my Patreon page and go there. Jane from Chichester, England. I hope I pronounced it properly. Tessa 830 here, Rainy and Shirley. Hopefully I'll be able to provide a warming and welcoming environment. Ronan, Hello Ronan, Good to see you here. Beautiful. Okay, So I think it's time to jump in into our topic, Which I consider a very important one. Mindful pause as an essential practice. You can find in my library of guided meditations, Meditation called five minute mindful pause. And the reason I want to highlight this topic and I want to bring this topic to you is because sometimes I feel that after sitting for hours and hours on the meditation cushion, I do not really take advantage of that training and so many hours I spent meditating and training my mind. The reason I say that is when I sit and make an effort to be familiar, Make myself familiar with my thoughts, Get to know myself better, Step out of the autopilot and wondering mind that as I will show in a second, Causes us so much unhappiness. After all these hours, It seems I don't take the next step and step into the present moment. Present moment which is everything that we train for. In the same way as an Olympian doesn't train and spend hours and hours in the gym simply to train and make himself or herself better training. The same for every meditator, For every human who considers mental, Spiritual and emotional growth a priority. Doing a mental pause or stepping into present on the regular basis is a fundamental and essential practice. And let me put it into perspective. This very morning I was sitting by the bench that was made by my partner Sharon beautifully right in front of the window when I have an ocean view and I was sitting there with wandering mind and then in the next moment I realized I'm about to give a talk about mindful pause and am I really mindful at this very moment? And that realization brought me to a beautiful, Absolutely amazing view that I have outside of my window. There are oceans, There are rolling hills and it's absolutely stunning. And in this very moment I realize how lucky I am by being here, Being present. And that also make me realize that a mindful pause is essential practice not because we want some extra training in what we do but simply because we want to take advantage of our practice and hence the life that is around us. Perhaps you have amazing job, Perhaps you have amazing relationship with your kids, With your partner, Perhaps whatever you're experiencing, Your successes, You can start being aware of them in this very moment. And how wonderful experience that is, Realizing that we are here to experience and be fully present to what there is. As opposed to what? As opposed to running on autopilot, As opposed to being consumed by the inner critic that constantly judges in a negative way whatever there is around us. And I've realized that the training I give myself, Meditation training, It's sometimes very much I spend only small portion of the time meditating and trying to be present as opposed to allow my wandering mind to take over and this autopilot being this judgmental clingy thing in my head that I succumb to. So mindful pause is a practice that brings us first and foremost to the present moment, To the life that we have and it gives us a choice or gives us a space in which we can bring awareness and make choices that are good for us and have nothing to do with, I don't know what's going on around us, How the society may want us to think, How your body indicates that you may feel when you're young, When you're old, You feel certain ways, Your attention is constantly being drawn to pains and aches, But in this very moment when you bring the presence to the now and bring your awareness and are in charge of your awareness, You realize that this is just one of the options. You can choose out of so many things, Like I said, To consider a relationship with your friends, Your beautiful relationship with your friends, To consider all your successes that you have inevitably in your life, To like me this very morning, To bring my awareness to this beautiful environment and nature that is around me, That nourishes me, But I only do have that choice when I am in the present moment. And mindful pause is, In a sense, A way of bringing you back to the present moment and hence to yourself. It is return home. Before I introduce you to the practice of a mindful pause, Which by the way you can access at any given time through my Inside TimeAid library, It's called 5-Minute Mindful Pause. I want to start by saying that this is a very short practice and by nature we do not have to spend hours and hours meditating in order to enjoy and be present to what there is. So again, What is happening on the chat? I love making carolines, I love making that 5-minute commitment. That's very important, Absolutely, And I'll be talking about it in a second. Hello Robin from New York, Beautiful, Good to see you here. Hello Winston. So why taking a mindful pause is so important? Perhaps one of the first papers that I read in mainstream scientific literature was a paper by Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert from Harvard University. That title was very clear. Wandering mind is an unhappy mind. So what those researchers in Harvard University did, They created an app that traced how we felt throughout the day and they collected 250, 000 data points indicating when were we in the present moment, What are we doing, And how does it make us feel. And what they discovered that 46% of the time our mind wanders and every time our mind wanders this is associated with the feelings of dissatisfaction, Unhappiness, And all those feelings that usually we do not want to experience. And that was a first attempt of bringing attention from the, For me at least, From the scientific field into mindfulness that for many scientists is considered or has been considered as something not scientific, Fluffy, Not very concrete. Something that a, I don't know, Maybe a new age person does from time to time to feel better about him or herself, But it's not really interesting, It cannot be really measured. But those scientists brought attention to it because they recognized that in spite of our scientific development and everything, All the technology that we have, At the center of all this is you. It is not the scientific discovery in itself. It's not all about the technology that we have. Technology and scientific discovery serve us and supposed to create or make our life better, Make us more fulfilled, More at ease, Feel more ourselves. And this is the purpose of my sessions and purpose of my teachings, To bring you as the center from which everything flows out. Not necessarily in a selfish way, Not in a way that I would say is only about me. No, It's about you and everything that surrounds you, That includes your friends, Your family, All the relationships, Your work, Your career, And the entire universe of things that again, According to this paper, We are not enjoying when we are on autopilot. So for me, Practicing mindful pause throughout the day is an essential practice because it plants seeds of awareness. And if you listen to this meditation at the end, I mentioned that every time you stop and you recognize what is happening and bring your awareness to this very moment, You plant seed of awareness that help you to grow the trees and the forest of experience, Of importance. And you realize that you do have a choice to bring awareness to all those experiences that are indeed enjoyable because enjoyable experiences are always present around us. Again, I've realized this morning that I could be deep in my mind thinking and worrying about things or I can quote unquote, Open my eyes and look at the beautiful view I have in front of me, The ocean, The beautiful nature around me. And in this very moment, I have access to not one but many experiences, Both external and internal. But as the science shows, And I think that's what I like scientific approach, That it shows us certain ways to live our life better. And certainly this paper does that. It shows us when you bring awareness to the present moment, You indeed started enjoying yourself more than what would happen when you're on autopilot. And when you plant those seeds of awareness throughout the day, When you start paying attention to the meditation training that you've been giving yourself for a long time, You realize that those short moments change the trajectory of your day. Because when you realize where you are, What is happening, That's where your brain starts being rewired. And that's where the massive change occurs. Coming back to the mind wandering, I've realized that I spent most of my time throughout the day with wandering mind. And what does it tell me is that my brain is indeed wired towards that kind of reactive behavior. So those mindful moments, Not only on the meditation cushion, But throughout the day, They bring me back to the equilibrium with myself. And I remember I had this time when I was like a maniac, So to speak, Paying attention to each present moment for a couple of days. And it seemed to me as if I created myself an urban retreat where I was mindfully present and meditating, Quote unquote, At all times. And as a result, Within a short period of time, With a day or two, I start being enjoying myself tremendously, Not only when I was meditating, But pretty much throughout the day. And all my vitals were increased. My resting heart rate was better. My sleep was better. And most importantly, The enjoyment of life was increased dramatically. So they say that in order to deepen your practice, Usually you have to go on a maybe 10 or even 20 day silent retreat. That's where the progress happens with the inexploration. But I invite you today actually to do something much simpler and to introduce to your daily routine mindful pause practice, An essential practice that will do exactly the same what a 10 or 20 day silent retreat will do. Will elevate your practice and will take it to the next level. And by that, I mean not just the practice, But your inner life. It will give you access to things like intuition. What is intuition? Intuition is usually a subtle input from within you, Maybe sometimes called a gut feeling, Maybe from the nervous system that is around your gut. Maybe it's a heart feeling, A nervous system, The network of neurons around your heart that send the message. But usually it's very subtle. So if you don't pay attention, If you're on autopilot, It is very likely that you miss it. However, If you practice mindful pause and again, And then prepare yourself, Prepare your brain to receive those signals by being more aware, It is much more likely that you develop better and deeper intuition. So there are many, Many benefits to practicing mindful pause. And as I said at the beginning, Mindful pause is very simple and easy practice. And it doesn't take hours. And I dare say that sometimes takes only 10 seconds to bring you back. And the formal practice on the inside timer, You will have four steps to the mindful most practice. I usually put them in the acronym real R E A L. First of all, You have to recognize what is happening and relax into the present moment. This usually is achieved by taking a couple of deeper breaths. Or if you remember 478 breathing technique, That is even better. The reason for doing that and relaxing into the present moment is not just because you want to be relaxed, But you simply send a message to your nervous system that this is time to settle down and send a message to your brain that my cognitive powers are at its best. Because when we stressed and we stressed a lot of time, You may notice that you do not have access to cognitive powers. Your awareness is dim. Your physical senses might be not there. But by intentionally taking those couple of deeper breaths, You restore this balance and you bring yourself to full attention awareness, Both from mental but also physical point of view. So we have that first step. Take a couple of deep breaths or even one deep breath. If you are already proficient in this practice. And then recognize what is happening. And the easiest way to do it is what is happening right now? Where I'm at with my thoughts? What was I thinking of? What are the sensations in my body? Am I relaxed? Am I tense? Am I experiencing any pain and tension? Am I standing and I'm sitting? It doesn't matter, By the way, How you do with this practice. You don't have to sit. You don't have to close your eyes. Wherever you are, Whatever you do, You can do it at any given moment. Well, Unless you drive your car, I would definitely not suggest to close your eyes. But even when you're driving your car, You can bring attention to the road ahead of you, The traffic lights, To your hands on the steering wheel, To your sitting position. It is possible to mindful pause when you drive. It is about bringing awareness to the present moment. So we have the second step. It is experience, Right? Now the third step. Third step is to accept the things the way they are. It is a misconception, Particularly in the meditation circles, That we meditate in order to feel better. And I know this is very difficult to understand because still the most popular meditations out there are meditations about stress, Anxiety, And sleep. Because we are all living very stressful life and that's okay. But this is only a first step. To relax your body. To get out of the stress. The second step, The most important is to experience all the range of emotions. Experience them consciously. There's no happiness without knowing what sadness is. There's no freedom if you don't recognize how sometimes you are constrained by your own mind and by the wandering mind. So if you, In the very moment when you practice mindful pause, Experience that mind restrictions and tension in your body and all those things that we consider negative, That's a great point to start. Because it gives you a feedback. Okay, What was I doing? What brought me to this very point? Have I planned this? Is it the way I want to live my life? And if the answer to this question is no, Then you stand in front of the choice. What can I change? That notice that without actually having that initial realization that what I'm experiencing is not serving my best purpose, Would be no moving away from it. And that's why accepting and acceptance of what there is within the mindful pause is very important. You don't need to judge it. There's no resistance there. And now the very important quality of this practice. We are not resisting the current experience. It is impossible to simply live your life going from one height to another. All sorts of experience, All sorts of emotions are within our scope and that's okay. And then as a last part of this mindful pause, Which again, When I'm describing seems very long but this is just a description of it. When we practice in a second, You'll see it's much shorter. And you can make it even shorter for yourself. The last step of this practice is to simply let go and integrate the knowledge that there is have the realization that I am who I am in this very moment and using our favorite mantra, You are loved, You are worthy and you are enough. These are the realizations and integration that should always happen. There's not a single experience that you have that is actually not beneficial. It might be unpleasant, But that doesn't make it not beneficial. It takes unpleasant experience to show you that that's where you not want to be. How would you know where you want to be if you don't have that opposite, If you don't experience that opposite side of the spectrum? Our Joni Mitchell and her beautiful song, See, I saw the clouds from both sides now. I absolutely love this song. I encourage you to listen to it, Particularly the newer versions of it when Joni Mitchell really saw the clouds from both sides now. And only seeing the clouds from both sides now allow you to make a conscious choice of what is happening and where you want to be. Sandy says, Sorry, I missed quite a few of your comments. They just keep streaming in front of my eyes and I'm not always able to follow them. But Sandy says, I have been consciously mindful of my surroundings this year and have also experienced joyfulness throughout the day, Being appreciative of each moment. And this is mindful pause in an essence. However, For some of us, I dare say for most of us, This is not an easy practice simply because we are trained so well in the art of mind wandering. When I raise my hand here and say, Me too, As a meditation facilitator and someone who spent literally thousands of hours on the meditation cushion, I still experience that. And this is okay. But I know at the same time, Know for a fact from my own experience, What works for me better than mind wandering. And this is being present. That's why experience life, Experience life joyfully. So mindful pause, If you want to think about it, Is an antidote for the mind wandering. So every time you experience something that is, Again, As I said, Maybe unpleasant, This is a good time to bring your awareness and practice mindful pause. Because when you practice mindful pause with those things that are unpleasant, Eventually you would develop habit of being present with also those things that are very positive and enjoyable. So practicing with thing that your mind naturally being drawn to, Again, Remember, Your mind's like a Velcro towards all the bad stuff and like a Teflon to all the negative, All the positive stuff. Eventually you rewire your mind towards being both like a Teflon towards the negative stuff and allowing you to recognize, Okay, That's what there it is. But it's not, I'm not this emotion, I'm not this experience, I'm not this feeling. You can actually consciously choose those positive experiences and being like a Velcro, Your mind becomes a Velcro to the positive experience and start recognizing, Oh, Fantastic, That's what I did to celebrate your successes, To celebrate your relationships, To celebrate whatever you have. So you can rewire that mind. And this is the lesson, This is scientific proven lesson from mindful pause that this is indeed possible. But now with this, Let's now practice the mindful pause. And I will do a very short version of it. And then you'll tell me how you feel and maybe I'll answer your questions because there have been so many comments. I have a feeling I missed something here on this chat. So again, For this practice, You do not need to close your eyes. You don't even need to sit. You can do it at any given moment. And although the practice I will show you now and practice I have on inside timer, Five minute mindful pause, It takes a couple of minutes. This does not have to be the case. It might be longer at the beginning, But once you're accustomed to it, It becomes like a reflex becomes like a second nature. But it starts with acknowledging what there is. So right now, We stop. And I'm here. I'm okay. And last take a couple of deeper breaths. Or you can practice 478 if you know how to do it. In three on out and out your mouth. Taking that air into your belly. And now through your mouth. One more time into your belly and out. Then within those three breaths, I recognize that I was as I was talking to you, There was some tension, There was some excitement in me that now has been diminished. I brought awareness to my body. How do I feel right now? What is drawing what is where is my attention drawn to? My feeling relaxed at ease. Maybe I'm tense. Maybe there's something bothering me. What was I thinking of just a second ago? Maybe like myself, I was thinking, What else there is to say to you about a mindful pause? Maybe there was a concern if I'm delivering the message I want to deliver in the right way. And now the third part. The acceptance of what there is. I am who I am right now. I'm in a good company of all of you from across the world. I'm sitting here on a chair. Safe secure. Everything is all right. And I'm actually quite content with being here. And now last part. Let go and integrate this experience. And for me, This is indeed a place I want to be talking to you, Discussing things with you. Fulfilling myself as a teacher. This is wonderful. Thank you. This is it. A mindful pause. It is possible to take a pause and bring your awareness to the present moment. Even during streaming a live event on the inside timer. And it makes me feel very different. And maybe we can hear it through the sound of my voice. It's a bit different. And now within within moments, I might change again, Because I'm stepping out of that zone when I stop and relax. And you see, I'm not sure I didn't didn't measure how long did it take. But it was just a minute or two, Maybe two, I lost a track of time. But when you practice it on your own, It just takes a moment because you do not you don't need to go through all the mental dialogue or sorry, Mental commentary I did for you. Simply stop. Again closing eyes usually helps. And that's it. And you move on. And you just planted a seed of awareness that will grow into a tree. If you water it with your awareness. Not as simple as that. Okay. So what do you think about mindful pause? How do you already I believe was Sandy who said that being aware throughout the day help her tremendously and help her to live life more joyfully. What is your experience of of mindful pause? I want to bring it back to you and check the comment section. Caroline says I'm already a convert to mindful pause. I'm glad. Jane says so simple. Winston loves it. Good. Yeah, It is simple. It is simple. And I believe that the simplicity of mindful pause brings also the essence of our life and our experience here. And this is important. That life life does not have to be complicated at all times. That's the realization at least one of the realization that flows for me through the practice of mindful pause. Timothy mindful pause is clearing your mind. Absolutely. By shifting your focus from your mind from wandering mind, You actually declutter what's out there. You dispose maybe all those things that we're concerned with great realization. Kathy mindful pause practice, Practice, Practice. That's says it all being present to what there is. That's what practice is. Mindful pause is life is not a substitute for life, But it's life itself. It is allow you to take in everything that is around you. All right. All the again, Once again, I want to highlight that to celebrate all your successes, Celebrate everything that brought you to right here and right now in this present moment that I believe has contained a lot of successful stories. Pete escaping for a moment and not getting caught in the noise. Pete, You're making a very good point. The noise that you talk about is just one of the option. And over time with the practice, What you realize is that noise is just one of those many things that you can choose by being present. And you'll be escaping maybe from the place of presence and calm and peace to, And you write, Oh, My mind wandered to noise rather than opposite, Staying in a noise for most of the time. And then just having an escape to the realms when you can truly be yourself. Karen helps me to take a step back and refocus. Exactly. Exactly. Jane empowering. Indeed. Right. We feel that we start being ourselves more. That's what empowerment is. Stepping into your true self through that such as such a simple practice. Very powerful indeed. A very useful tool. Sorry, I missed the Charlotte's comment. A very useful tool. For me, It's essential to close my eyes to be able to relax. And that's absolutely fine. That's absolutely fine. When we close our eyes, Naturally, We are being drawn within. The attention goes inside. And that's usually that's very helpful. That's very helpful. Good point. Mindful, Nima says, Mindful pause for me is turn onwards to myself very much. So yes, We turning to our true self. It allows us to take a break or take a step back. And one of you said from something that actually may not represent your true you. The anxious, The controlling, All that what represents the ego personality. We stepping away from that recognizing, Well, That's not me. Uncertainly, That's not who I want to be. Come back to yourself. Come back to yourself. Cathy, Allow any sensation, Thoughts, Emotions to come and go. Come back to the present and breath. Very much so. Natural is the practice. So simple. So simple. Ronan, Excellent little reset. Yes. What is reset? If you think about that's a good word, Actually, I want to focus on reset is restoring the natural balance. When you press reset button in your computer, You basically remove all the clutter, You clear your cache, You remove all the cookies and whatever there is that being weighing down the whole system. And by reset, You have a new fresh start. There's a new system ready to take the input as opposed to being cluttered and overwhelmed with all the things. So indeed, Mindful pause is a reset, As in being true and coming back to yourself. So Farnes asked if I could go over the practice again. Absolutely. Remember the acronym REAL. Right? REAL. R-E-A-L. REAL is to recognize. I've got it here. It's to relax and recognize what's happening. E is to experience your mind and your body, Your thoughts and your sensations. A stands for accept what there is, Knowing that all experience is good. And finally, L, Let go. Let go and allow to integrate this experience within your conscious awareness. That's the whole of the practice. And it's going to take some time to integrate that in your life. But again, If you want, There's always that five-minute mindful pause on the inside timer that is for you there for free at any given moment as long as you have your phone. But you should not rely on your phone, To be honest, To be able to do mindful pause. The less the better, Simplicity, Remember of this practice. Jane says, Enables one to accept and survive the onslaught of fear and anxiety. That is true. That is true. It is important to recognize that our lives, Particularly now in the times of uncertainty, Are filled with fear and anxiety and help us to recognize this is not the way we want to live. So good realization. Okay, As we're coming towards the end of the session, I want to thank you for all your comments and your presence and for listening to me. You've been over a long period of time, You've been very generous to me and supporting me and my teachings. And I want to thank you for that. Every every comment, Every donation that you make really makes this easier. I'm a part of the larger community of teachers. Now there are 13, 000 teachers on the inside timer. And I'm glad to be here and spread my message. And that would not be possible if not for you and for your kind ear and for your support. So thank you for that. And as I'm expanding my teachings, I also offer different things. There are live events, There are free guided meditations, But there's also my mentoring sessions, Mentoring sessions during which we work together on on raising your awareness and bringing the awareness to not just generally to whatever there is, But to your specific challenges. And we work with this together during mentoring sessions. So we improve your awareness, We help you to set goals that are important to you, Not just to generally. And we try to extract what is your potential? What are your talents that you want to utilize? And perhaps you start with something and you are not able to do it. That's what the mentoring sessions with me are all about. Sometimes you need to relax. And that's why I offer also creating a tailor made meditation. I meditate with you one on one and I record this session and you end up with having a wonderful personal experience. And as a gift, I give you a recording of it so you can listen to it next time. And that may be a recording of extended version of mindful pause that you can use later. And all of those you can get from my profile on Inside Timer. Just go there and check all the offerings. And for those of you who have been me have have been with me for for quite some time, I'm not saying that the patron format is for everyone, But I call the inner circle because I met a wonderful friends. Started the beginning of the pandemic and now two years later we are still together. But I know there are some of you who listen to me on a regular basis. And if you want to take the next level, Make it more personal, More intimate, We have this inner circle on the patron that we meet every week and we chat over Zoom about things that are important and and topics that are close to our hearts. So if you want to stay in touch with me, Please go to my profile, Follow me, Click the notifications so you'll be notified about the next upcoming event. And yeah, I look forward to meditating with you next time if you choose to listen to my meditations or seeing you here during next live event. Thank you for your presence. Thank you for being here with me and I wish you a wonderful day. Until next time.