Hello and welcome to Harnessing Happiness with myself,
Sarah J Naylor.
Thank you,
As always,
For stopping by and listening to my show.
Just to kick start,
I sponsor my own show,
I'm Sarah J Naylor.
I'm a midlife coach helping midlife women find that direction
And really kickstart their life careers and really love themselves and all that encompasses
Their lives.
Because do you know what?
Being midlife is our superpower.
I'm a speaker,
I'm an author,
A podcast host,
Naturally,
And all-round lover of energy and upbeat and
Happiness.
So if you want to find me,
I'm at sarahjnaylor.
Com on the old internet,
And you can find me on social media underneath the same name.
I'd love to hear from you.
So on with the show.
So I was thinking today about discussing mindset stuff,
Because I was at a networking event just recently,
And I was chatting to someone who was,
We were having a discussion about their career and what had brought it to a halt,
And their perception of what had brought it to a halt,
And the reality really of what that is.
And actually,
The long and short of it is,
It's all mindset stuff.
At the end of the day,
It's all mindset stuff.
What we perceive,
We project out,
And that becomes our reality.
However,
We can change that.
We can work with the quantum,
And we can change the dialogue
We have running in our own mind,
Because we aren't our behavior.
We aren't our words,
Thoughts,
And actions.
Once we become familiar with that ability to take a step back,
Observe our thoughts,
Listen to what we are saying to ourselves,
And how we are using words,
We can make changes.
I say we,
I'm referring to you,
Me,
Everybody.
It's all within our power
To do so.
We have those choices.
In fact,
We can choose to ignore that ability,
Or we can
Choose to actually acknowledge it and do something about it.
Because if you keep telling yourself a
Story that doesn't serve you,
It will continuously not serve you.
And this person was decreeing that
Their career had come to an end because of certain things that had happened in their life.
They really took stock by that.
And yes,
I agree that what had taken place does have an impact.
However,
Again,
It's that perception,
Whereas actually if you override that,
You can make
Changes.
Your reality is yours to create.
And where there appear to be blockages,
There are
Actually opportunities.
Because if a doorway is closed because something isn't working,
It creates an opportunity for you to look at it differently,
For you to actually create something
Afresh.
So if somebody's saying,
No,
You're not coming to work for us,
Why keep on banging on
That door?
Why keep on pushing it and forcing it?
Because if it's not going to open,
It's not going
To open.
And there's a reason it's not going to open.
It's because it's pushing you to make
Something different happen.
Because for whatever reason,
You weren't meant to go through that
Doorway.
You were meant to take a different direction.
You were meant to do something
Differently.
So that blockage,
Let's say you're in a car and you're going on a journey and there
Is a route that tells you,
No,
You're not coming down here.
And you're going,
But I want to go down
That route.
No,
You're not coming down that route.
But I want to go down it.
No,
You're not coming
Down it.
Well,
I want to go down it.
But there's a block,
There's a barrier,
You're not to go down
It.
And there could be well,
There could be a very,
Very good reason for you not going down it.
You don't know because they're not,
They haven't given a list at that barricade,
That blockage,
That ever,
That do not pass go sign.
But it could be all nature things.
The road could have fallen
Away.
The road might not exist beyond the bit of vision that you can see.
So therefore,
It's
Protecting you from going down that bit of road.
And that can often,
More often than not,
Be the
Case about blockages that appear in your career,
In your life,
Or what things aren't happening,
They aren't happening for a reason.
And it's about shifting your mindset and thinking about
Things in a different way and looking at what is available rather than focusing on what's not
Available.
And if what it is that you want to do isn't manifesting in the way that you thought you
Wanted it to,
It's,
Well,
It's really going into detail.
And this is where actually working with
The coaches is what I love doing.
This is what I get really excited about.
So when I was talking
To this person at this networking event,
I was going,
I want to work with you.
I want to work
With you because I know I can help you shift your mindset.
But here's the thing as well,
As a coach,
When we work with our clients,
We need to work with people who are ready to change,
Who are open to change.
And this is the same with all holistic therapies,
Because you need to have
That open-minded approach,
That growth mindset approach to embrace and embody sort of the
Emotional intelligence that comes with that sort of move and that shift forward.
Because without
That,
If you go into coaching,
If you go into any holistic therapy with the mindset of,
Well,
This isn't going to work,
I can guarantee you right now,
You're absolutely right,
It won't work.
And if you're going into it to prove a point,
Well,
You're only proving a point to yourself.
But if you really,
Truly want to change the stuck pattern that you've got in,
The story that you're
Telling yourself,
It's all within your power to do so.
But it's about you putting the work in,
But finding the right person,
The right coach,
Mentor,
Whoever that you want to work with.
It's about you taking those steps to bring about those changes.
If you are stuck in that,
Well,
No,
It's never going to work for me,
My mentality.
Yeah,
It's never going to work for you,
Because
It's a self-limiting belief.
You believe that it's not going to work,
So therefore it won't work.
So therefore,
You are fulfilling your brief of telling yourself it won't work,
Because you
Believe it won't work.
And so therefore,
You're in a perpetual cycle.
But actually,
When you start
To believe that it will,
And you work with a coach and you work with,
I was going to say a mentor as
Well,
But coaching is very solution-focused.
When you've got people that work with therapists,
They focus in on the problem and look at the problem.
And in some cases,
That may be what you
Need to do before you then go to work with a coach,
Because it may be that there is something
That really needs to be dug around that.
But with coaching,
We can look at things that need
Addressing and then look at them with a different set of eyes and reframe them.
And
Like I've just explained,
The scenario around the door being blocked,
The road being blocked,
You know,
You don't go down it for a reason.
However much you think you want to go down it,
You weren't meant to go down it,
So accept that,
Accept it,
And make opportunities happen for you
In other areas.
Let stuff go,
You know,
Put it out there,
You know,
Let go of any expectations.
It can be easier said than done,
I should say.
But once you apply that mindset with consistency
And you believe that everything is working out wonderfully,
Whatever the outcome that you are
Being presented with,
You know,
I'm talking about myself here as well,
Because there are
Always challenges coming along that I have to revisit my own words,
My own advice to see me
Through.
Up until now,
And consistently,
Everything has always worked out,
You know,
Even if I can sometimes be sort of going,
Oh my God,
I'm skating close to the edge here,
You know,
It works out.
It always works out.
It has to work out.
Everything I'm doing is for the
Greater good.
And,
You know,
I like to inspire,
I like to motivate,
I like to energise,
I like
To support and encourage other people to be the best person that they can be.
And when I do that,
And when I'm working with leaders and people that then influence other people,
I know that
My work is spreading out.
And,
You know,
Even the podcast,
I know it's spreading out globally.
So
I'm doing what I set out to do,
Which is awesome.
Think outside the box,
Be solution focused.
And,
You know,
If something's not working,
Let go of it.
Stop pushing.
Focus your energy
Somewhere else.
Wherever your focus goes,
Energy flows.
So,
You know,
If you're pushing against
Something that's not working,
Unless it's something you are really passionate about,
Bringing about change,
Which is obviously then keep going because sometimes you do need to keep
Battering to make it happen.
But if it's something,
Oh,
I don't know,
A job that you've applied for
And you've not had an interview or you've not heard back from the company or you didn't get
The job or what have you,
Just as an example,
Just let it go.
I mean,
There might be some stuff you
Can get on feedback.
It may be that you turned up half drunken with your jeans on when it was
Supposed to be a professional interview.
Well,
You know,
Then there's a reason you need to reflect
Back on that.
But invariably,
There'll be a reason you didn't get that job and it's taken
The learning.
It's not necessarily about battering the door down to say,
Oh,
Didn't you give me that
Job?
I'm perfect for that job.
Which I've heard all too often in my career in recruitment as well.
But it's letting it go and looking at where you can move on to because you clearly weren't
Meant to go down that road.
Anyway,
I think I've got the message across.
Over and out.
I hope you've enjoyed this episode.
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