Wherever you are,
However you are,
Take a moment to roll your shoulders.
Relax your jaw.
Take a deep cleansing breath in.
Let it go.
Welcome to a hit of hope.
I used to love to ride horses.
As a teenager,
My friend and I would walk her horses away from the barn,
Then turn and get them to gallop wildly back.
I adored the freedom,
The sense of flying.
I loved it until I went to New Zealand with my parents when I was a junior in high school.
We stayed at people's homes as we traveled the two islands,
And at one house,
They had a horse.
The two young girls asked me if I wanted to ride.
I said,
Sure,
Excited as heck to get up on a beautiful animal again.
As I trotted around the paddock,
They stood on the bottom rung of the fence and watched me.
One of them said,
You know that's the horse that killed our sister.
Um,
No,
I didn't know that,
And now that I did,
I wanted off that horse stat.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Fast forward 30 years.
I was riding through the fields of Minnesota with a friend,
Marveling at the sweet alfalfa,
The blue blanket of the sky above,
The soft breeze.
All was well and good,
As long as we were walking away from the barn.
But just like so long ago,
As soon as we turned back toward the barn,
I could feel my horse gathering every bit of strength,
And off he shot like a bullet across the field.
I was sure I was going to die,
Just like that girl in New Zealand.
I could hear my friend shouting,
Pull back on one rein,
Pull back on one rein.
I resisted because I was sure that was going to send me sailing through the air.
But finally,
I listened.
The horse tossed his head and charged on,
As in,
You don't really mean that.
I pulled harder,
And the beautiful red horse slowed and slowed and stopped.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Life is a horse.
There are seasons where it plods along,
And the flat,
Hot dustiness of it all feels endless.
There are seasons where it trots,
Jarring you unless you can figure out a rhythm to balance it all.
Then there are the seasons where it gallops.
And this gallop can be just like my two experiences.
It can bring a sense of joy and freedom,
A thrill of life coursing through you.
Or it can feel dangerous,
Out of control.
You might be in one season,
Longing for another.
You might be doing your best to hold on for dear life.
You might be so wildly happy,
You are terrified of when it will end.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I'd like to go back for a moment to my friend's advice.
Pull back on one rein.
When I was riding on that horse,
I remember thinking,
Why one,
Why not both?
I'll be honest,
I don't know the horse reason for this advice,
But I can think of all kinds of reasons it's good advice for your life.
When life races out of control,
The whole idea is that you are overwhelmed and probably awash in fear and all kinds of other emotions.
It takes everything in you not to crash and get hurt.
So what if you looked for one rein,
One thing that you could focus on,
One thing that could turn your head even just a little so you could turn away from the hurtling,
Away from the stampede.
Because if you can pull back on one rein,
If you can turn your gaze ever so slightly away from the barn,
From whatever it is that is inexorably plunging you headlong into danger or fear,
Maybe you can slow.
If you keep using that one rein,
You can slow maybe just a little bit more and slow and stop.
Your sides might be heaving,
Your heart might be racing,
But there you are still breathing safe,
Breathing.
Exhale,
Live light.
