This thing called the Divine Presence is not something abstract.
You can sense it for yourself directly by simply offering your attention to this moment as it is in all its fullness,
In its beauty and ugliness,
In its order and chaos.
This is because the Divine Presence is not something other than your own attention,
Your own awareness,
Hearing these words right now.
Knowing this for yourself experientially is called spiritual awakening.
How do you do it?
That's what we're about to explore through the Torah portion Parshat Ki Tisa,
Followed by a guided meditation based on the Sphere of Hod on the Tree of Life.
I'm Rabbi Brian Yosef Schachter-Brooks.
Enjoy.
Okay,
The portion of the Torah that we're learning about today is called Parshat Ki Tisa,
And the meaning of that is literally when you lift up,
And it's referring to the taking of a census of the children of Israel at Mount Sinai.
And so here is a little summary of what's happening on the literal level just for context before we get into the deeper esoteric meaning.
So the Parshah opens with Moses taking a census of the children of Israel.
Each person who is counted must contribute a machasit ha-shekel,
A half shekel of silver to the mishkan,
To the sanctuary.
Instructions are also given regarding the water basin that they use to wash themselves before making offerings,
Anointing oil and incense.
The wise-hearted artisans Betzalel and Aholiyav are singled out as possessing this quality called chokhmat ha-lev,
Wisdom of the heart,
And are placed in charge of the sanctuary's construction.
But Moses doesn't return from the mountaintop when expected.
The people lose faith and make themselves a golden calf to worship instead.
Hashem grows angry and proposes to destroy the errant nation,
But Moses prays for them.
Moses descends from the mountain carrying the edut,
The tablets of testimony,
Engraved with the aseret ha-dibrot,
The Ten Commandments.
But when he sees the people dancing around their idol,
He breaks the tablets and destroys the golden calf.
Nevertheless,
He then pleads with God,
If you will not forgive them,
Blot me out of the book that you have written.
Hashem forgives them,
But says that the effect will be felt for many generations,
And as they continue their journey,
Hashem will not be with them.
Only a lowly angel will accompany them.
But Moses pleads to Hashem to continue to accompany them on their journey.
Moses then prepares a new set of tablets himself,
As opposed to the first set,
Which were inscribed by God.
Moses is then granted a divine vision of God's 13 attributes of compassion.
When Moses returns,
His face is so radiant that he must cover it with a veil,
Which he removes only to speak with God and to teach Torah to the people.
Okay,
Here is our verse we'll be looking at from the opening of the Parsha,
When Hashem tells them to contribute the half shekel during the taking of the census.
There is a teaching ascribed to the Hasidic master,
The Maggid of Mezrich,
In which he taught,
Today,
It's the same thing.
Now that the Holy One is in exile from his holy temple,
He does the same with us.
This teaching gets at the open secret for communing with the Divine Presence.
That is,
To humbly and gratefully offer yourself to this moment as it is,
In all of its fullness,
In its beauty and ugliness,
In its orderliness and chaos,
Because this Presence is not something other than your own essence,
Hearing these words right now.
This Presence is a gift.
You cannot manufacture it.
You cannot generate it,
But you can do your part to open to it,
To reveal its reality through you.
There is a hint in the verse.
Zey yitenu kol ha-over ha-pikudim,
Makatzit ha-shekel.
This shall be given by all who pass through the counting.
A half shekel,
And then it says truma ladunai,
An offering to the Divine.
The half that we bring into the sanctuary of this moment is ourselves.
We,
Meaning our bodies,
Our feelings,
Our thoughts,
The totality of who we are in the moment.
These are the half that we bring.
The other half is the Divine,
The reality behind all forms and also our own essence.
Bring the half that is yourself to this moment,
And the other half appears.
How do we do it?
Vaya'avor Adonai al-panna vayikra,
The Divine passed before his face,
Talking about Moses's face when God gives Moses the divine vision,
Vayikra,
And called out HaShem HaShem Adonai Adonai,
Compassionate and gracious God,
Slow to anger and abundant in loving-kindness and truth.
So these divine qualities that God reveals to Moses are actually a practical instruction.
HaShem HaShem Adonai Adonai.
The divine name that means being,
That means existence,
That means isness,
Is said twice,
Indicating that the realization of whatever is before you is itself a form of the Divine,
And then also your own consciousness is divine.
Through the meeting,
The Divine becomes one with itself.
This is the,
This is really the deeper secret of meditation,
That it's not just for our own experience,
For our own management of stress,
But that we're affecting a unity in the world.
The Divine becomes one with itself.
This is the fundamental knowledge that brings the felt connection with the Divine Presence,
Brings the experience of the holiness,
Or the sacredness,
Or the wholeness of this moment.
El rachum v'chanun,
Compassionate and gracious God.
Why is it saying compassionate and gracious God?
It means that we must make these qualities of compassion and grace God over our other qualities.
We have many qualities,
Many feelings,
Many impulses,
But we make compassion,
Graciousness,
God over all of them.
We may not feel like it in the moment,
We may feel totally the opposite.
Nevertheless,
We can bring forth these qualities if we decide that they are God to us,
Meaning that we give them a certain reverence,
A certain attitude of bowing before them,
Certain attitude of surrender.
Erech apayim v'rav chesed v'emet,
Slow to anger and abundant in loving kindness and truth.
You have the ability to not get caught by anger and bitterness.
Instead,
Choose love.
Choose love.
And then,
To make sure you get it,
The verse also says emet,
Truth,
Because it's not about faking it.
It's not about pretending.
It's about holding these qualities as our highest ideal.
Then the prophecy of Purim will be fulfilled.
As it says in Megillat Esther,
La Yehudim hayata ora v'simcha v'sason.
For the Jews,
There was light,
Joy,
Gladness,
And essence.
And then,
As is said every week at the close of Shabbat,
Ken t'yei lanu,
So may it be for us.
Amin,
So may it be for us.
In order for this light,
Joy,
And gladness and essence to blossom,
We don't need to micromanage it or manufacture it.
We only need to recognize the inconceivable gift we are now being given,
The gift of being,
The gifts of light and joy that are always our potential and open to this potential with humility and gratitude.
These qualities are represented by the sphera of Hod on the Tree of Life.
Hod,
Which really means presence or can be translated as glory or majesty.
So,
Let's chant the affirmation for Hod,
Planting the seeds of gratitude within.
This is not about trying to feel a certain way.
It's about planting the seeds for these feelings.
It's about consciously taking the attitude and not worrying about what the feelings are.
They'll come in their time.
Chanting on a long out-breath,
I am giving thanks.
I am grateful.
I am gratitude.
Moday Ani or Modah Ani.
Moday is the masculine form.
Modah is the feminine form.
Say the one that is appropriate to you.
Moday Ani Lefanecha,
I give thanks before you.
Hamachazir Neshamot,
The one who returns soul.
Meaning on different levels,
The one who enlivens us,
Who allows us to wake up from sleep in the morning,
But also who returns us to our soul essence,
Who returns us to knowing who we are on the deepest level.
Preparing to dive into the ocean of meditation.
Bringing some attention to your body,
Being comfortable,
But also awake and alert.
Having a little bit of energy in your back,
In your head and neck to create an alignment with the heavens above,
Rootedness in the earth below,
And taking an attitude of grateful offering of attention.
Bringing your right hand to your heart.
Giving of your attention to the fullness of this moment on all levels.
Being that sacred presence,
Receiving and giving thanks for this moment of life.
With Lecha,
A long out breath,
Deep breath in.
Lecha,
To your belly as awareness drops down into your body.
Feeling awareness permeating your organs.
Gratitude for this temple of the body,
For the vastly complex,
Incomprehensible work that is being performed for us every moment in the form of our bodies.
Awareness flowing down from your belly,
Down through your legs,
Dropping all the way down to your feet,
And extending down from there into the floor,
Down into the earth,
Planet which holds us,
Attention rising up from your belly,
Chest,
Upper back,
Shoulders and neck,
Flowing down arms and hands and fingers,
Bringing your attention more deeply into the sensation of the flow of breathing,
Letting your breathing become more slow,
More conscious,
More deep.
Rising up into your face,
Facial muscles,
Brain and nervous system,
Bringing little smile to your lips,
Being the loving,
Benevolent,
Indwelling presence,
Life in the body,
Na-a-se,
Deep breath in,
Na-a-se,
Bringing your right hand up to lightly touch the forehead as your awareness shines out into the space around you,
Touching the walls,
Resting on whatever it touches,
The sounds vibrating in the air,
And recognizing that the fullness of what is perceived,
The fullness of experience right now,
The inner world of thoughts and feelings,
The world of sensations,
The world,
As it appears,
Is all rising,
Is all arising in the vast and boundless field of consciousness that you are,
And affirming your identity with this field,
This openness with ve-ni-shma,
Deep breath in,
Ve-ni-shma,
Kissing your fingers,
Relaxing your hands,
Rabbeinu Shalom,
Help us to meditate deeply and powerfully,
Help us to rest in the temple of the words,
A-ta-hu,
An affirmation of the one reality permeating all things,
A-ta-hu,
You who are not separate from anything or anyone,
You who are not separate with it from this consciousness that we are,
You are the divine,
A-ta-hu,
Moving through the sky,
They come and they dissipate,
Returning again and again,
Attention to the tefilah,
A-ta-hu,
A-ta-hu,
As we come into silent meditation,
Coming back from the stillness,
Bringing that presence into the movement of your body,
Taking a nice stretch,
As we prepare to go forth into our activities,
May we be rooted and resting in this quality of chod,
Of gratitude,
Of humility,
And yet through that humility,
Able to draw in something almost superhuman,
Seemingly superhuman sometimes,
And yet it's there,
It's this potential that's there,
Because our essence is not separate from that which we call the divine,
That which we call God.
Shalom,
I hope you've enjoyed this Torah of Awakening.
I'm Rabbi Brian Yosef Schachter-Brooks.
Until next time,
All blessings.
