Hi,
And welcome to this RAIN meditation session.
Today's practice is dedicated to grief.
As you might know,
RAIN is an acronym for Recognize,
Accept or Acknowledge,
Investigate and Not Identify or Nurture.
If you are not familiar with RAIN and want to know more,
Start by listening to my introduction to RAIN meditation first.
Otherwise,
Please find a comfortable position with your back straight and gently close your eyes or soften your gaze.
If you are here,
It means you are already aware of the grief you are carrying with you.
Let's guide your awareness by locating this feeling in time and space.
Starting with time,
Think of the moment when grief started building up.
Try to find the spark at the very beginning.
It's important that you identify this,
Because sometimes,
When strong emotions appear,
We take in everything around us and might misattribute the cause of it to something else,
Other than the true event that brought the loss.
Very good.
Now think for a moment of the space you were in when you first felt this grief.
Let the first image come to mind without overthinking.
Perfect.
And now that you have both time and space,
I want you to be fully aware of your feeling.
Notice the main place in your body where grief lives.
Is it in the heaviness of your chest?
In your throat tightening up?
In your eyes filling with tears?
In your stomach sinking?
In your body feeling tired and heavy?
Simply notice it.
Well done.
Now that you are aware of this feeling,
I would ask you to acknowledge it.
Acknowledging means you know it's there,
Without judging it.
You recognize and accept its presence.
The feeling is there for a reason.
It's your mind and body talking to you in a language you are about to understand.
To do so,
You just need to accept the message is there first.
And label it.
Call it by its name.
Notice that now you are the observer and grief is the observed feeling.
Now that you see the feeling from the outside,
We can start investigating.
A moment ago,
I asked you to call the feeling grief.
Grief is possibly the generic name we often give to a wide range of emotions that come with loss.
But now we will do something very powerful.
We will unpack grief in all its shades.
You will be able to understand exactly which one resonates more with how you feel.
This will help you relabel it,
Understand it and put into perspective the feeling as well as your reaction to it.
Let's start our investigation.
I will offer you four stages of grief that occur before the acceptance one.
Each with its name and description to help you decide which one you recognize yourself with the most right now.
Remember that these stages are not linear.
You may move back and forth between them or not experience all of them.
The goal here is not to force yourself into a stage but to recognize which one is alive in you at this moment.
The first one is denial.
This is a temporary defense mechanism that helps manage overwhelming emotions.
It can feel like disbelief,
Shock or refusing to accept the reality of the loss.
Do you feel denial?
The second one is anger.
A natural response to the pain and frustration of loss.
Anger can be directed at yourself,
Others or even the person you lost.
Do you feel anger?
The third one is bargaining.
This often shows up as attempts to negotiate with life or a higher power,
Wishing to change the outcome.
Thoughts like if only I had done this or maybe if I try that things would be different.
Do you feel bargaining?
The fourth one is depression.
A period of deep sadness,
Withdrawal or a sense of hopelessness.
It can feel like life has lost its color and energy.
Do you feel depression?
Now that you have investigated your feelings to see which stage resonates with you the most,
You have a much better understanding and context about your grief,
Don't you?
So what is your new label to substitute the generic grief one?
This is a very powerful way to get in touch with yourself.
And if you are still unsure,
You can listen to the list again until you feel satisfied with your understanding.
Maybe you realized that putting things into perspective,
The intensity already feels a little lighter than before.
You are doing great.
We have reached the last step of our RAIN journey,
The not identify or nurture.
This is a key step that,
If done right,
Will give you the comfort,
Relief or sense of peace you are looking for.
Especially if in the investigation step you realized that grief shift between different stages and you are learning to witness them rather than be consumed by them.
To do so,
I want you to go back with your mind to the acceptance phase,
When you identified the part of your body that was most affected or representative of your grief.
I would then like you to recall the new label you gave to grief from the ones we investigated together.
And once you have the word,
You should mentally place it on the part of your body affected by it.
Use your imagination to visualize it now.
Perfect.
Now take a deep breath through your nose.
Hold it and when you exhale through your mouth,
See the label slowly detaching from your body.
Like the air flowing away from you,
Carrying the heaviness of the feeling it represents.
And as it does,
You feel that area of your body changing.
It feels better.
Do it again.
Inhale deeply.
Hold it.
And as you exhale,
See the label move even further away from your body part,
Which now feels restored.
One last time.
Inhale deeply.
Hold it.
And now,
As you exhale slowly,
See the label far away from you.
Mentally repeat,
I am not my feelings.
I am not my feelings.
I am only me.
And that's enough.
When you are ready to feel this deeply and genuinely,
You will know you have reached a state of acceptance of the loss.
This does not mean being happy or fully okay with the loss,
But rather acknowledging the reality of it and beginning to learn how to live with the change.
Remember this as we get closer to the end of this journey.
You can nurture this sense of freedom and tenderness you have just created.
Be thankful to yourself for having taken the time to care for your heart today.
Reign is a process and it might not always be easy or straightforward to complete it in just a few minutes.
The more frequently you practice,
The more you will discover and harness its power.
I trust you are feeling a little better already,
And I hope to meet you tomorrow to continue your journey into a better you,
Free of the burden of unwanted emotions.
All the best.
Till next time.
