Welcome,
I'm Vicki Montague,
A wellbeing and possibility coach.
I spent most of my life confined by and led by my restricted negative thinking.
Now I share what I've discovered about living a life free from limits,
Reconnecting people to their unlimited potential to achieve what appears impossible.
Today I want to talk about having what appears to be a successful life yet feeling completely unsatisfied or as if there's something missing.
I'm gonna start by sharing my story around this and what I've seen around it since.
So for many many years I had this sense that I wasn't entirely happy I guess that there was something missing from my life and a general feeling of unsatisfactoriness if that's even a word.
A sense of there being more to life I guess.
And yet when I looked at my life it appeared that I had everything that one would term successful or that one would consider to be perfect.
So I had an income,
I had a home to live in that was warm,
I had food in the cupboards in the fridge,
I had a lovely husband and two wonderful children,
I had money in the bank.
So for all intents and purposes for somebody looking into my life they would have considered it to have been perfect I guess,
Nothing wrong and successful.
So what was going on?
Well I spent many many years on a search to find that answer I guess.
I did multiple self-help things.
I read every self-help book that's going,
I learnt neuro-linguistic programming,
I trained in counselling skills,
I did EFT,
Tapping,
Meditation,
Mindfulness,
Everything I'm sure that you have also done if you're here listening to this.
And yet there was still this ongoing search,
This ongoing sense that there was something not quite right,
That there was something wrong.
And then one day I heard a lady and she was talking about a similar experience I guess.
And she was pointing to what was going on inside her.
She was pointing to what her thoughts were telling her.
And it kind of stopped me in my tracks because what I heard her effectively say was,
You don't have to listen to your thinking,
You don't have to believe your thoughts.
Now up until that point I had believed probably every thought that I had noticed and those thoughts were less than satisfactory.
So they were often involving a what-if question.
What if this happens to me?
What if that happens?
In an anxiety-anxious kind of way,
In a trying to work out how I would deal with something if it happened,
If the worst case scenario happened.
I spent most of my time berating myself and listening to thoughts around being not enough,
Of being bad at things,
Of not being a good enough mum,
Not being a good enough husband,
No,
Not being a good enough wife,
Of not being good enough at work,
Of not what I'm doing,
Of needing a purpose.
So there was this constant narrative in the mind of negativity I guess.
And what I heard this lady say was,
You don't have to listen to that.
That every thought is neutral.
Every thought is made from the same thing.
So if you consider you might have a thought,
Oh I fancy a cup of tea,
And you might have a thought,
Oh I'm a terrible parent.
Essentially they're made from the same thing.
They're made from who knows what,
When we really look at it.
It seems to me just a puff of energy that pops into the mind,
That pops into awareness,
Into consciousness,
And then disappears.
Except some don't disappear.
Some we pay particular attention to,
Like the I'm not good enough.
And when we pay attention to those thoughts,
When we believe them I guess,
They come with a particular feeling.
So the I'm not good enough thought,
That comes with a feeling of restriction,
With a feeling of doom,
With a feeling of being unsatisfied,
Of being unsatisfactory.
And so as I explored this I realized that I was living in the feeling of my thinking.
Now I'll say that again because that's huge.
It's not really what we ever consider.
It's not really what we're ever told.
But this sense of everything being okay in the outside world,
And yet then there being a feeling of being unsatisfied,
That was coming from my thinking.
It was coming from what I was believing,
What I was paying attention to in my mind,
Was creating these feelings of not enough,
Of being unsatisfied.
And in that moment my life effectively changed.
Nothing on the outside changed,
But everything on the inside changed.
I no longer paid so much attention to those thoughts and what I noticed is that when I paid less attention to them they passed through the system like the I would love a cup of tea or I wonder what's for dinner tonight.
They had less meaning and they had less impact on my feeling,
On my state.
So if you're feeling that something's missing,
That you're successful yet unsatisfied,
Take a look at what's going on in your mind.
What thoughts are you paying attention to and what do those thoughts feel like?
And just have a little explore there and then pop in,
Leave me a comment.
I'd love to hear how you get on with this.
Sending so much love.
Bye for now.
