This is a version of the self-compassion break that's designed to tap into fierce self-compassion to give us encouraging wise vision when we want to motivate a change.
So please think of a situation in your life that you'd like to change.
Maybe you want to exercise more but just can't seem to summon the willpower.
Or maybe you have a habit that you would like to break,
Like I don't know,
Maybe you snap at your kids for instance.
Or maybe you're in a relationship that you think you would like to change and you can't seem to do it.
Or there's some big project that you'd like to take on.
Okay,
So just kind of choose carefully some change you'd like to make in your life.
What is it?
And then after you choose what you want to work with,
Just notice whatever feelings arise when you think about making this change.
Maybe there's some shame because you haven't done anything yet.
Or maybe there's excitement at the possibilities.
Or fear,
Frustration.
Just allow whatever you're feeling to come up.
And if you can,
See if you can not focus on the storyline of your reaction to not being able to make this change or wanting to make this change.
Just notice these emotions as physical sensations in your body.
Maybe tingling or tension or hollowness.
Whatever your body feels,
Just drop out of your head into your body if you can.
And so now we're going to do the motivating self-compassion break.
So the first thing I'd like you to do is make sure that you're sitting up straight.
So your back is tall so you feel energized and you aren't slumping.
So let that energy of fear,
Self-compassion flow through your spine.
And I'm going to be saying a series of phrases which you can repeat either aloud or silently to yourself that are designed to bring in encouraging wise vision about this change you want to make.
And again,
The idea is for you to find language that really works for you that's authentic.
So the first thing we want to do is bring in some mindfulness.
So mindfulness with motivation really gives us the vision of what we want for ourselves or what needs to change.
So try saying to yourself something like,
You know,
This is what I envision for myself.
Or this is what I want to manifest in the world.
Or something like,
You know,
This is the possibility for me.
The second phrase calls upon the wisdom of common humanity.
So as we think about maybe so far our inability to change or the fact that we haven't made this thing happen yet,
Remember that this is only human.
People get stuck or they get things wrong.
The important thing is that we can learn from our experience.
So perhaps saying to yourself something like,
You know,
This is a learning opportunity.
Or you know,
It's normal to maybe get it wrong before we get it right.
Before we get it right.
I can learn from this situation.
I can do something differently.
And so now make some supportive physical gesture,
Right?
Maybe you can put one hand on your shoulder like you might with a child,
You know,
Putting the hand on the shoulder.
Or if you want something more energizing,
You can do a little fist pump or some action with your arm.
So some sort of physical gesture of encouragement.
And then what we want to do is use kindness to support and encourage ourselves to make a change,
Right?
We don't want to say we're inadequate and we have to change.
We're okay as we are.
But we would like to create this change or take on this task because we care and we want to help ourselves.
So maybe saying something to yourself with warmth and conviction,
You know,
I'm going to help myself reach my goals.
Or maybe something like,
You know,
If you feel comfortable talking directly to yourself,
I have your back.
I'm here for you.
I'll support you.
Or maybe you need to hear something like,
You know,
Just try your best and see what happens.
Whatever happens is okay.
I'll be here for you.
So really just using any language that feels natural.
And the one thing you can always do to come up with more natural language is you might imagine that you had a close friend who was struggling with a similar issue that you're struggling with.
What might you say to your friend to help encourage them to make a change,
To help support them in their efforts?
Not only what words would you use,
What tone of voice would you use?
Maybe some constructive criticism,
You know,
Assuming they asked for it.
And then see if you can say something similar to yourself.
And then finally,
We want to allow the fierce energy of encouraging wise vision to combine with the more tender energy of unconditional self-acceptance.
In other words,
We want to try our best to make needed changes,
But the bottom line is that we as people,
Maybe our behaviors or actions want to change,
But as people,
We're okay just as we are.
It's okay to be imperfect.
And so see if you can let those energies merge and mingle,
That the energy of unconditional acceptance,
Combine with the desire to make needed change.
And then we can just see what unfolds.
