Overcoming The Fear Of Speaking Your Truth

34:48

34:48

Overcoming The Fear Of Speaking Your Truth

by Laura Jane Haver

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4.7

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talks

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Meditation

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Everyone

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This talk is all about overcoming the fear of speaking your truth and being seen for who you authentically are. So many of us aren't speaking our truth because we carry the fear of judgment, ridicule, disapproval, or rejection. This is something that holds us back from embodying our true north. Tune in with me where I share my personal experiences overcoming this fear and share guidance that can help you heal your fear and feel more confident in your true voice and authentic expression.

Meet your Teacher

Laura Jane Haver

Puntarenas, Puntarenas Province, Costa Rica

Meet your Teacher

Laura Jane Haver

Puntarenas, Puntarenas Province, Costa Rica

Transcript

Hello, Welcome back to my unfiltered podcast to be free a podcast that eliminates the pathway to true freedom. It's me your host Laura Jane Haver. I am a passionate freedom preneur here to light the path forward as you create a life of pure, Authentic heart and soul aligned freedom. Thank you so much for tuning in with me today. I am just so beyond grateful that you're here with me. So this week I felt really inspired to talk about the fear of speaking our truth, The fear of sharing our authentic expression with the world. It's that fear of being seen and heard for who we truly are. And this is something that can hold us back from our higher calling and our radically aligned freedom. Because if you're not embodying and expressing your authentic self, You're not free. If you're not speaking your truth from your heart and soul, You're not free. If you're not following your higher calling and visions because of the fear of being seen for who you authentically are and what you stand for, You're not free. And if you aren't speaking your truth because of your fear of judgment or disapproval, You're not free. Authenticity is the gateway to freedom, To be real with ourselves and real with others. This includes speaking our truth. When we suppress our truth and our authentic voice, We suppress our calling, Our gifts, And our wisdom. We suppress our soul. This is such a passionate topic for me because this is something I have been healing for several years now. And this podcast in itself is part of my healing journey. Speaking my truth and aligning with my mission through this podcast is so deliciously freeing and expansive. I am liberating myself through this process. As I mentioned in the last episode, This podcast is something that has been calling me for a few years now. I first heard the call to start my podcast in 2020 when I started my mentoring business. I just really craved to share my voice, Stories, And wisdom out loud. But at the same time, I was letting this fear of being heard, Being seen, And being judged and misunderstood hold me back. You know, When you really immerse yourself in the healing journey, You begin to realize how much resistance we can create in our very own lives when we focus on what other people will think of us or how others will perceive us instead of how we perceive ourselves and being true to ourselves. Honestly, There were so many times in the past that I literally wouldn't do something that my heart was yearning to do or express what I desire to express because of this fear of judgment, Disapproval, Ridicule, Or rejection. But now I am not letting these fears stop me. I am activating my inner power and conquering them. I am now prioritizing how I show up for myself and how I perceive myself. I am validating myself. I approve of myself fully and I am doing what I am called to do. I am my number one hype girl and it feels so glorious. We have to hype ourselves up and validate ourselves and stop holding ourselves back because of the fear of other people's judgments and disempowering projections. We have to stop rejecting ourselves out of the fear of rejection. What I know through many authentic conversations with clients and soul sisters is that this is actually a very common block and fear we all have. We all carry this fear, But just to varying degrees and in different aspects, It shows up for us differently. And for those of you who are on your awakening journey, From my own experience, This fear gets illuminated as you begin healing, Going deeper into your shadow, And tapping into higher levels of consciousness. You get to a point where you are craving to speak your truth and unsuppress those facets of yourself just yearning to be expressed. You're called to share your wisdom with the world and serve your mission, But then you go to share something really meaningful, Raw, Real, Vulnerable, And you feel a super heavy energy holding you back. You feel anxious or you might feel like a density. You just can't seem to do it. Or you power through and you do it, But while fighting through so much inner resistance and you're like, Hmm, Has this block always been here? And the answer is yes, It has. But now it's making itself so known because you want to share the real you, Your heart, Your soul, Your truth, Not the surface level you trying to put up a facade or fit a mold. So you become super conscious of this block and it feels like an anchor that needs to be lifted. I have been there and I still feel this anchor sometimes. I'm called to share how I've been lifting these anchors and overcoming this fear of speaking my truth because I have been overcoming it one step at a time so that I can be seen and heard for who I truly am so that I can embody my dharma and serve my mission. Let's first talk about where these fears and blocks come from. When are these fears born and how do they hold such a grip on us? Why do so many of us carry this fear, This worry, This anxiety around speaking our truth and showing up as our true unfiltered self? Why do we care so much about what other people think about us and how they perceive us? And why do so many of us not follow our higher calling or our greatest desires because we fear judgment or disapproval? Well, Let's go back to childhood where it all begins. I have done a lot of deep healing and reflection around this and this is what I have unveiled. When we're really, Really young kids, We have no filter, No censor, And we speak and feel from our hearts and souls. When we find our voice for the first time when we're a toddler, We sing our song from the rooftops. We do not care about what other people think of us. We don't even know what external judgment or validation is yet. We speak our truth in confidence. Even when it's totally offensive or totally bossy, Because we all know toddlers say it how it is, In which we do have to be taught basic etiquette on how to be respectful. But even when we're bossy, Our personality shines because we're so unfiltered and so authentic and so true to ourselves and true to our feelings. We're also so imaginative and intuitive. We haven't experienced the blocks and constriction of societal conditioning and programming yet. As young kids, We are authentically, Organically, Uniquely exactly who we are, Who we are born to be, Unfiltered, And thus we shine brightly, We glow. But then we go through our adolescence and we move through the third dimensional human experience where we experience the entire spectrum of dense energies all around us. We experience judgment, Ridicule, Bullying. We're made fun of. We're scolded. We experience embarrassment and shame. We're told we're too much. And then we experience not enoughness. And we start to heavily tune into the energies of disapproval, Invalidation, And rejection. And we feel the pain of it. We feel the heavy, Undesirable emotions osculating within us that come along with these dense energies. And it hurts. It feels like the opposite of love. It's just too heavy on our hearts. So as we get older, It begins to feel safer to filter, Censor, Pretend, Hide, Or stay quiet just to avoid that pain. And all of this creates an energetic veil around us covering our true glowy nature. We dim down our own light to fit in. We begin to suppress the truth of who we truly are and how we truly feel in exchange for approval in which we now associate approval with love. To our young hearts, Approval seems to equal love and acceptance. And love and acceptance is our safety. It's what we seek. As humans, We are naturally wired for love and acceptance as a survival mechanism. Our nervous systems and our ego are wired to keep us safe and part of the tribe, Part of the pack. But most of us are experiencing this wiring on such an intense level, Like overdrive, Because we've been so deeply conditioned and programmed to seek approval and validation externally to feel love and acceptance. Our nervous system is now wired this way. Approval has become our safety. So of course it can feel so unsafe and scary to be our true selves and speak our authentic truth, Because our nervous system is wired for safety through external approval. And any disapproval feels like the opposite of love, And it feels unsafe. So now as adults, We carry these collective fears of disapproval, Rejection, Judgment, Invalidation, Or even persecution. So we people please, We avoid confrontation, We play pretend, We censor and filter ourselves, We wear facades, And we choose to do and say things just to get people to like us and gain their approval. We suppress our true voice and true feelings to feel safe, To feel loved. And now on top of that, Right now in this moment in time, Our nervous systems are tuning outwards and like screaming at us that it isn't safe to speak our truth. Because to be very honest, We're living in a pretty judgmental society. I mean look around, My goodness. The brutal judgment, The persecuting, The cancel culture, The finger pointing witch hunts, The take her not me, Turn against her, She's the witch. It's so harsh and it's so vicious. And so many of you light leaders carry the energetic imprint of the witch wound within your energetic DNA. It's that wound that remembers persecution and makes us fear our own intuitive wisdom, Gifts, And power. So what's happening in the world today is rubbing salt on that wound. It's stirring up collective traumas, Which can feel so intense. And that topic deserves its own episode, But all of this definitely illuminates the polarized world we live in. So of course, It feels scary to speak your truth in this society. Your fear is beyond valid. But despite the judgments and persecutions going on around us, We have an obligation to ourselves and to the people we are here to serve to heal this fear, This block, These wounds and take our power back. It's never been a more important time on earth to speak our authentic truth and share our unique wisdom to help heal the world. So forget the persecutors and focus on the beautiful souls out there seeking your medicine. So let me share more about my experience and how I've been healing this fear of speaking my truth. I have some guidance for you based on what has tremendously helped me in this healing process. Ever since I can remember, I've been so hyper focused on how others perceive me. There was always this inner critic voice within me obsessing over, Like, What are they thinking of me? Are they going to think less of me if I say this or do that? What if they misjudge me or misunderstand me? What if they don't like me? Or what if they judge me for expressing my true self and sharing what's on my heart? Then sometimes that inner voice would say, Like, Don't do it, Laura. Don't do it. Don't create it. Don't share it. Don't say it. Don't speak up because people might reject you or cancel you. And so sometimes I wouldn't say it or do it. I wouldn't take action on that amazing idea or share my voice even when I yearned to. Because of this fear of rejection, It just didn't feel safe. And it led to so much anxiety, Inner resistance, And crazy intense perfectionism. Nervous system felt safe because it ensured I would always be met with approval, Validation, And praise. And it all felt super, Super, Super restrictive. I felt it in my body. Our nervous system is wired within our physical body, Connected to our energetic body, And it shows up within the sensations of our body. Our body is always showing us what is going on energetically. So when we're about to do something that doesn't feel safe, We can feel anxiety, Density and heaviness, Heart racing, Sweaty, Shaky, Or just chaotic energy moving through our chakras. And sometimes we can even go into fight or flight. And I would feel so much physical repercussion when it came to speaking my truth, Mostly like really intense anxiety and heaviness. So when my spiritual awakening began, I knew there was something there to heal. The first step in healing is always to become conscious of it and to be honest with yourself, To be real with yourself. There is absolutely no shame in admitting that these fears and blocks exist within us. This is powerful, Courageous warrior work. This is why so many people avoid it, Because it takes so much power and courage. So as I was awakening and becoming more conscious of these fears and blocks in which one of them was this fear of speaking my authentic truth, I was given a beautiful opportunity to begin healing it. When I left corporate to pursue freedom preneurship, My husband, Brian, And I traveled around the world for six months. And I felt this magnetic pull to start travel blogging. My heart was like leading me to just express myself in this new, Unfamiliar, Unique way that just felt so good, So fun, And so expansive. This was a passion project. I felt like when I started blogging, It started unleashing all of this creative energy that I had been suppressing for so long in my corporate job. It felt so freeing and so expansive. But when I went to post my very first blog post and share a post on Instagram that I was launching a travel blog, I felt so much anxiety. I felt so much heaviness. It felt like I had anchors on my ankles. It felt like I was shackled. I felt so much resistance and density that I just couldn't do it. I actually pushed my launch. I needed time and space to really work through the fear. I did work through it. I delayed my launch. I think it was something by like two weeks. But I felt the fear. I processed it. I tuned into it. I did it anyways. I shared. The more I shared and openly expressed from my heart, The better I felt. But that resistance I was feeling in the beginning was because it was the first time I was sharing something so creative from my heart and soul, Something that was just so heart aligned that it felt scary. It didn't feel safe until I started doing it. And of course, I also carried that fear of judgment. Like what are people going to think of me because I'm choosing to follow my heart and start blogging? And that felt really heavy and scary. But I processed those feelings and I worked through it. And when I did launch and announce my blog, It felt so liberating, So fun, And so freeing. And I had so much beautiful support and encouragement along the way. But to be very, Very, Very honest, I also did experience judgment. There were a few people who actually made fun of me for travel blogging, Like, Oh, Hey, Laura, You left Google for that. A few other people told me that my visions weren't realistic. And quite a few people deleted me on social media once I began openly expressing myself. And this was something I was doing just for fun. It was a passion project as I was traveling the world. But people still judged me. But who cares? The fact is there will always be a few judgers and rejecters. I say a few because our ego will make it feel like it's hundreds or thousands of people, But it's not. It's only a select few. And we just have to stop giving these few people our focus and energy and instead focus on the people we are here to inspire. Because listen, When you're doing something that someone doesn't believe in or that they wish they could do but don't believe they can do, It can be extremely triggering. And for some people, It just feels easier to judge you, Reject you, Or cancel you instead of choosing to be inspired and invigorated by you knowing they can do something similar. You can only meet people where they are. And you're not here to serve every single person on earth. You have your soul-aligned people out there, Those who are in resonance with you, Those who deeply feel your messages within their heart and soul, Those you are here to be of service to, Those you are here to impact. And when you speak your truth, You're showing up for yourself and for them. And you know what? Judgers and rejecters are a universal initiation. The universe is testing us. Are you going to let these few people and their judgments and rejections hold you back? Or are you going to believe in yourself and your higher calling and keep going for it? And I kept going. I chose to believe in myself and show up for myself and my heart-aligned people. And as I kept showing up for myself and expressing myself authentically, I began conquering my fear of authentic self-expression. I was healing my fear of speaking my truth by speaking my truth. So when I got back from traveling, I started shifting away from the travel blogging and towards my entrepreneurial journey. And I felt similar energies when it came to creating and building my heart and soul-aligned business. I felt anxiety and some density and some heaviness because I was worried about how other people would perceive me in my new venture. And I definitely felt these similar energies when I announced and launched my business publicly. But I knew these feelings, These sensations, And I processed these fears. I tuned into them and I launched my business anyways. And then I started sharing long-form writings online and sharing messages from my heart on social media. And it all felt super scary until I started expressing myself over and over and over again. And it felt less scary and it actually started feeling really good. Now fast forward to this podcast. Once again, I felt similar energies. It felt scary and vulnerable AF. And actually in 2020, When I first heard the call to start a podcast, I couldn't even transcend the fear. The energies felt too heavy. It felt too vulnerable, Too unsafe. I just couldn't lift the anchors in 2020. So I tabled it. But this year I conquered it. I went for it. I felt the fear and did it anyway. And it's so freaking liberating. On the other side of fear lives freedom. So here is a piece of wisdom for you today. Taking action and conquering your fear is the greatest healing modality. I have done so much healing work around this fear of speaking my truth. The quantum energy healings, The inner child work, The shadow work. And this has all been super helpful in making the unconscious conscious and processing it so we can heal it, Which is step one of the healing process. But the most potent healing medicine to conquer your fear is taking action. The only way past it is through it. We must walk through the fire. We must be courageous and face our fear. When we feel the fear, We have to say, Fuck it and do it anyway. Then we clear the blockages and heal the wounds. Then our nervous system starts to feel safer because it feels so good to express ourselves. It feels so liberating. And it feels more like our true nature. We realize the beautiful impact we're making and we clear our energetic blockages. Our nervous system settles down and gives us space to self-express. So my greatest recommendation for how to overcome your fear of speaking your truth is speak it, Sing your song, Let yourself be heard, Be confident in your authentic self, Your gifts and your medicine. And then these fears begin to heal naturally. We can only unshackle ourselves. No one can do it for us. And action is key to the shackles. Let me tell you a quick story to put this into perspective. I officially decided to start this podcast and I knew I was going to record and upload my episode zero on my birthday on March 13th. And I knew I was going to officially launch and announce my podcast on March 23rd. This was my intention that I cast outwards and it was set in energetic stone. So on March 9th, I woke up and my tonsils were so swollen and my throat was on fire, Which was so strange because I like never get sick. I think I had one little cold when I was pregnant last year, But other than that, I haven't been sick in probably 10 years. And so it was so strange and so painful. But when I tuned into it, I could understand what it was. I felt all this stagnant, Like pent up energy finally shifting and releasing from my throat chakra. And when we release energy and clear blockages, It can be painful physically. And this was happening because I was ready to express my voice out loud. The intention was set. And so my body was responding accordingly, Clearing and making space. And on March 13th, On my birthday, I woke up and my throat felt so good. I felt so ready to speak and express my truth. And after I recorded my first podcast and submitted it to Spotify and Apple, My voice felt stronger than ever. And my voice felt so expansive and clear. I felt so free and so good. Then, A few days after I officially launched my podcast, I felt this like painful release in my sacral chakra. Something was set free. Something was released. And the sacral is our creative energy center. So I don't know exactly what was released, But I feel like I was carrying fearful energy there, Which was holding me back from creating this podcast for so long. And once I released the podcast, This energy released. So as we conquer our fear of speaking our truth, As we do it, Our energetic and physical bodies respond to us, Support us, And help us heal. So my loves, Speak your truth, Sing your song, Be confident in your voice, Feel the fear and do it anyway. This is how you heal it. And also just a little reflection. How can you serve your mission if you aren't showing up for yourself and speaking your truth? How can you make an impact on the world if no one can hear you and no one can find you? Especially to all my fellow light leaders, Freedompreneurs, And aspiring freedompreneurs, How will your clients find you? How can they be in resonance with you if you aren't showing up and speaking up? And another piece of guidance for anyone who is called to create their radically aligned business and journey into freedompreneurship, Choose a platform or a medium that feels expansive and freeing and not restrictive. There are absolutely no rules on what platforms you should be using to speak your truth. You might feel like you need to be on every single platform that's out there showing up every day of the week, But you don't. I would say pick one or two platforms and use your intuition and physical sensations in your body to choose them. Which platforms feel really good and expansive to you? I was really into Instagram from 2018 to 2020, And then the energy of the platform just didn't align with me as much and felt a bit restrictive and dense. And I preferred to focus on my long form writings. And now this podcast is what lights me up. I know many freedompreneurs who are making multiple six or seven figures who don't even have an Instagram or a Facebook. They prefer Twitter or LinkedIn or their own blog or podcasting. So choose the outlet that feels really good to you, That aligns for you. A final recommendation that I have for conquering our fears is using energetic modalities like astrology or human design. These modalities help us make the unconscious conscious. When we use tools like these, We can see how we are energetically wired and it can give us peace of mind. Knowing many of the fears and blocks we experience are part of who we are and what we're here to conquer. It's written in the stars. And astrology has helped me so much with identifying and processing this fear of speaking my truth. Through astrology, I discovered that I have Chiron in my first house in Gemini. And for anyone who isn't aware of Chiron, Chiron is the wounded healer in our birth chart. And based on where he lands, He represents the wound that we experience throughout our life. The one we are meant to feel and heal over and over again as it pops up in different manifestations throughout our lifetime. And as we become aware of this wound and heal this wound within ourselves, We are then called to be a healer for others experiencing a similar wound to help them heal. Our challenges, Fears, And pain truly do reveal our healing gifts and they're all a beautiful part of our higher purpose and higher calling. And my Chiron is in house one, Which is the house of self-perception, Self-esteem, Self-love, Self-confidence, How I see myself and how I believe others see me. And this is also where my Gemini lives, Which brings the wound of worrying how I am perceived specifically, How my voice and communication and energy is perceived, And how my words, Thoughts, And emotions are interpreted. Gemini is also my rising sign, Which is what I'm here in this lifetime to rise up to, Which is the sign of communication and word magic. So I'm clearly here on earth to use my voice and my words to make an impact and touch people's hearts and souls. I'm also here to help others heal their wounds of speaking their authentic truth and feeling confident in being seen and heard so they can step into their mission. The irony of it all, You guys, We truly do need to transcend all these fears and patterns holding us back to align with our higher calling. And as I heal my blocks and fears, I help others heal theirs. This podcast is an embodiment of me doing just that. Here is my final message for today. When we don't take action towards our higher visions, Desires, Or higher callings out of fear of speaking our truth, Fear of judgment, Fear of disapproval, Fear of rejection, Fear of being seen in our truest essence, It will lead to regret. It's a form of self abandonment. Think about when you're older and in your very final days of life on earth. Do you look back at your lifetime and legacy and think, Wow, I am so happy I suppressed my true voice and true self and abandoned my higher calling in exchange for lots and lots and lots of approval? Or are you going to look back at your life and legacy thinking, Wow, I am so glad I conquered my fears of being seen and heard. I am so happy that I roared my truth from the mountaintops in confidence and in my power. I am so happy I shared my soul wisdom with the world and impacted so many people's lives. I am so grateful that I showed up as my highest, Most authentic self and stayed true to myself and my calling. And I'm guessing you would prefer your legacy to be the latter. So no more letting the fear of being authentically heard and seen and felt devour you. It's time to show up for yourself and to show up for the people who are just waiting to hear your voice. This is your encouragement to unapologetically speak your truth.