If it's a safe option for me now,
I take a deep breath in and as I breathe out I close my eyes.
I'm floating on the surface of the sea.
Everything is so peaceful and quiet and safe.
I feel the cool water all over the back of my body.
The back of my head and neck.
The back of my arms.
My upper back.
My lower back.
My bum,
Legs and heels.
On some parts of the front of my body,
This cooling refreshing sensation of water interchanges with the warmth of the sun as the tiny waves cover and uncover my skin.
On the top of my head,
My ears,
My neck,
My arms,
My stomach,
My hips and knees and my feet.
On my face,
My belly,
Some little parts of my hands and my toes,
I mostly feel the sun.
The only thing I see is a small part of the infinite blue sky.
I hear the low note drone of the sea as my ears are fully in the water.
I taste the salt of the sea and I float.
Slowly I start feeling the coolants covering my whole body.
The warmth is gone and I understand I am sinking.
I am surprised but I am not afraid.
My torso,
My arms,
My legs,
My head,
My face,
My nose,
Everything is now underwater.
I feel safe.
I can breathe and I'm curious.
I don't try to change anything.
I'm still surrendered.
I sink deeper.
I sink deeper and the water all around me becomes colder.
I see big beautiful bubbles coming out of my mouth and nose as I see the sparkle of the sun on the water surface moving further away.
I feel my hair floating around me in an otherworldly way.
I see the water on my level turning deep blue and I can only hear the water.
I sink deeper until I calmly stop.
I feel the soft cold sound on my feet.
I am naked.
I roll and hug my knees in a move that would be a lot faster outside the water.
I put my chin on my chest and my hair follows slowly and then they seem they're trying to reach the surface.
I'm not.
I stay there and I can see myself from a distance.
It's like this person is not me.
I see them pushing the ground and straightened their body suddenly and gracefully.
I almost feel jealous.
But then in a moment it's me again,
Handled up on the bottom of the sea,
Feeling the sand under my feet and buttocks.
Then I push strongly the ground and hear cracking sounds.
As I straighten my legs,
My back and my arms,
I feel I've left on the ground a shell,
A burden,
My old body.
Everything that held me back,
Everything that weighed me down,
Is now curled up on the bottom as I slowly start to move upwards.
I feel lighter,
I feel freer,
I feel newer.
My head looks up and my whole body is straight and strong.
I feel this new energy on every muscle,
Even though I'm not moving at all.
I pushed once and I now enjoy the ride.
I now let the forces around me take me up.
I let the water bring me to its surface.
I see my body from a distance again,
But I don't lose the sense of myself this time.
I see my graceful body traveling upwards.
I see bubbles coming out of my mouth and nose and left behind as I keep moving upward.
I see my hair seem longer and straighter by the force of my momentum.
I can't see any speed.
I sit in slow motion and feel the strength and assume the true momentum.
I now see through my eyes,
The surface quickly coming closer and in a moment I jump out of the water from the chest and up.
I take a hugely deep breath in without agony,
But like it's the first one I got since ages.
I always feel safe.
I take another deep breath in and feel fully in control.
I float for a second and then I walk and get out of the sea.
I feel the breeze.
I close my eyes and take another deep breath in.
I breathe out as I open my eyes.
I stay relaxed and just notice how I feel.
