Welcome,
And I hope that each one of you will come to find peace within yourself.
Today I want to talk about grief and loss,
And this meditation is based on a live session I did recently.
Grief and loss feels like a heavy topic,
But loss is a natural part of life,
And it's still not easy to talk about it.
Grief is how we process those losses,
And it looks different for everyone.
Some people get really emotional,
Others get quiet and withdrawn.
The important thing to acknowledge your feelings,
And give yourself time to heal.
There's no right or wrong way to grief,
But if you think about it,
Grief doesn't always have to be just about death.
Sometimes we grieve for the loss of a friend for whatever reason,
And we can grieve when our lives change in ways that we weren't anticipating.
We can grieve when we lose the ability to do things that we've always been able to do.
I know I didn't realize it till later that I was grieving after my strokes,
Grieving for things I could no longer do.
We grieve when a relationship ends,
And we have to recognize that nothing in this life is permanent.
All things pass away.
A friend was talking with me one day and she said,
Oh Michael,
He's dying,
Referring to her husband who had end-stage kidney disease,
And I looked at her and said,
But we're all dying.
And think about this,
If you know anything about my story,
All of the people I loved,
Both of my parents,
My brother,
My great aunts and uncles,
Two of my grandparents,
All of my closest friends,
And one of my grandchildren have died since I was told that I only had five years to live.
Think about that.
So yes,
We're all dying,
And when we finally recognize that fact,
We can live our lives more fully.
I did a lesson where I talked about if you knew you only had seven days to live,
That you would live those days differently.
Time would have new meaning,
Because if death was certain,
Every minute would count.
Think about that.
Grief is both an ending and a beginning.
My death would be the end of my life,
But it would be the beginning of your life without me.
You have to embrace the impermanence of life.
Nothing lasts forever.
Not a cherished brother or sister,
Not a loving parent,
Not your favorite pet.
Each is only with us for a limited time,
And no one knows what breath will be their last.
Losing a pet is uniquely sharp,
Because our relationships with pets are stripped of all the complexities and baggage often found in human relations,
And the grief that follows is often remarkably pure and devastatingly quiet.
Pets aren't just animals,
They are the architects of our daily routines.
Think about it.
If you have pets,
They dictate when we wake up,
When we walk,
And how we spend our evenings on the couch.
When they leave,
The silence in the house isn't just absence of sound,
It's a disruption of your entire lifestyle.
Close your eyes now and let's get in touch with our breath.
It doesn't matter if you're sitting,
Standing,
Lying down,
Or kicked back in your favorite recliner.
The only thing that truly matters when you meditate is that you're comfortable and alert.
So as you start to settle in,
Just take in a breath,
Breathing in and breathing out,
One breath at a time,
And then the next,
And then the next.
Scan your body,
Look at your face,
Relax your jaw,
Unfreeze.
Curl your brow,
Relax your neck.
I roll mine around.
You do what makes you happy because it's always your meditation.
Anyone that tells you there's a right way to do meditation is trying to sell you something.
Relax your shoulders,
Relax your arms and your hands.
Look for any tension in your chest and belly.
Relax your legs and your feet,
And as you begin to relax,
Let's focus even more on our breath.
Our breath is our anchor.
It's there for us in all moments,
When we're happy,
When we're sad,
And when we're grieving.
Notice your breath.
Don't just breathe.
Notice where you feel it,
A cool sensation in your nose as you breathe in,
Or maybe the movement of your chest and belly as you breathe in and breathe out.
Our breath is there for us in all moments,
And I've said it before,
But your breath is one of the few things in your entire life that you can exert control over and make your life better.
If you hear sounds in the room,
Just let them go,
And if you have thoughts,
They're just like clouds in the sky or waves on a lake.
Just let them go by.
Grief has many shapes.
It can feel sharp or dull,
Loud or silent,
Clear or confusing.
It can come in waves or sit like a stone.
Whatever your grief looks like today,
Let it be exactly what it is.
You're not here to solve it.
You're here to sit beside it,
To breathe with it,
To let your grief know that it doesn't have to move quickly or behave politely.
Imagine your breath creating a little more space around places that hurt,
Not forcing them open,
Just softening the edges.
With each inhale,
There's a gentle widening,
And with each exhale,
There's a quiet release.
Now,
If you will,
Bring to mind a person or a place or a chapter or a version of yourself that you've lost,
Not to cling to,
Not to reopen the wound,
But to honor the love that made the grief possible,
And here I'm going to pause for a minute so that you can just breathe and think about that grief,
And I'll be back.
In thinking about your grief,
Let yourself remember one small,
Tender detail,
A sound or a gesture or a moment that still glows softly inside you,
And hold those thoughts with reverence.
Let it be a candle in the dark,
Not a flame that burns,
But a light that remembers.
Shift your attention back to your breath,
And notice how it continues,
Steady and faithful,
Even in sorrow.
Grief may change the rhythm of your life,
But the breath keeps returning,
Offering you a place to rest.
With each inhale,
Feel the possibility of support.
With each exhale,
Feel the permission to let go,
Just a little,
Only what's ready.
Now if you're willing,
I'd like you to repeat the following positive affirmations,
Either out loud or to yourself,
And I'll say each one twice.
May I be gentle with myself.
May I be gentle with myself.
May I allow my grief to unfold in its own time.
May I allow my grief to unfold in its own time.
And last one,
May I remember that love and loss are woven together.
May I remember that love and loss are woven together.
Let these words settle into your body like seeds.
If you follow my meditations,
You know that I like quotes,
So I have one for you today,
By author Vicki Harrison,
Who said,
Grief is like the ocean.
It comes on waves ebbing and flowing.
Sometimes the water is calm,
And sometimes it is overwhelming.
All we can do is learn to swim.
Very wise words.
I hope this has been a beneficial and calming session for each and every one of you.
Loss is a big part of everyone's life,
And when you come to terms with the impermanence of everything,
You can live your life more fully,
More happily.
Thank you for joining me here today.
Till next time.
