Dear friends,
Welcome to this meditation on forgiving the past.
It's prompted by the fact that some listeners have shared with me the fact that in their cases the childhood experience has been less than we would wish for any young person.
Some people have experienced poverty,
Some neglect,
Some abuse,
Physical,
Sexual,
Psychological.
Many brave people have come through these situations and they present a face to the world that gives no indication of the hurt that lies hidden inside.
So this meditation is dedicated to all who have suffered distress in one way or another and I hope that these thoughts will prove healing and beneficial.
Let's have a settling down minute before the meditation proper begins.
You might like to close your eyes although you don't have to but notice your presence here in this room.
You have the gift of presence,
This wonderful amazing gift of existence.
Take a deep breath and as you breathe out relax into whatever it is that's supporting you,
The chair,
The cushion,
Whatever.
Drop your shoulders and really enjoy the feeling of relaxation and letting go.
Do you notice any sounds?
Can you hear your own breathing?
Can you notice your own heartbeat?
Welcome to the wonderful present moment and enjoy 60 seconds of calm.
This is your appointment with the here and the now as you enjoy this one minute pause.
Welcome back.
I believe all of us have suffered pain of some sort in the course of our lives to date.
Some of us have suffered more severely than others but none of us has entirely escaped pain.
If not actual abuse then loss at times,
Rejection at other times,
Misunderstanding in respect of our motives,
Blame for things which were outside our control.
So it may be a comfort in moments of sadness on these accounts to know that whilst the severity of the pain may have varied greatly,
Some experience of suffering has been shared by all of us without exception.
So we come to the question of what can we do about this?
All the wise advice seems to point to the idea of forgiveness.
No matter how bad the experience we are told time and time again that in order to free ourselves from the prison which the pain has placed us in,
We have to unlock the door by somehow finding in our hearts the means to forgive.
Forgiveness can be difficult,
Sometimes exceedingly difficult,
Almost impossibly difficult but somehow even for our own peace of mind we have to try to find a way.
In these situations it might help if we can manage to place ourselves in the shoes of the wrongdoer.
Even someone who's wrongdoing is totally repulsive to us.
Can we try to imagine the background of the person who has wronged us?
Very often we can find that those unkind and sometimes dreadful actions arise from the circumstances in which the evil-doer has been exposed in earlier life.
When we see this we may be able to feel a sense of there but for the grace of God or there but for the grace of goodness go you or I.
When we consider matters from the others point of view we see that many of us would have succumbed to the same failings if our circumstances had been the same.
Hemanth Smarty says this,
Before you judge my life,
My past or my character walk in my shoes,
Walk the path I have traveled,
Live my sorrows,
My doubts,
My fear,
My pain.
He goes on,
Remember everyone has a story when you have lived my life then you can judge me.
Let's pause for a one minute break.
Welcome back.
Now this effort to forgive is not to excuse wrongdoing of any sort.
It's not a case of you and I not being responsible for our own actions but putting ourselves in the shoes of someone who has wronged us may ease our pain by helping us to see things from a different perspective.
It may just help us open the door to forgiveness and provide for us a way into the light of our own freedom.
Forgiveness may not be easy,
May not even be imaginable but I have seen injury being described as an arrow and the refusal to forgive being described as our twisting and turning the arrow which causes ourselves further pain.
We need to remove the arrow in order to ease the pain and forgiveness can help remove this arrow.
It's often said that we can forgive but we need not forget.
I wonder is this sound advice?
I cannot believe that it is.
Henry Ward Beecher says this,
I can forgive but I cannot forget.
It's only another way of saying I will not forgive.
Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note,
Torn in two and burned up so that it can never again be shown against one.
Having forgiven I think you will find it helpful,
Indeed necessary,
To try also to forget.
We do not forget to the point where we expose ourselves to a repetition of the trouble.
We need to take care of ourselves and learn from the trouble we have suffered but apart from that necessary precaution I believe the healing can be helped,
Can best be completed by also putting the memory and any resentment to rest.
Let's pause now for one further minute before we attempt a practice.
We close our eyes and come into the gift of the present moment.
Welcome back.
Yes I feel discomfort and even a need for revenge at the recollection of the harm that's been done to me.
In respect of the worst elements of my pain I feel it almost impossible to forgive the round-doer.
My instinct is to say no I cannot forgive,
This is impossible.
I will never forgive what has been done to me.
If I had a choice I would love to get my own back,
To give as good as I got or more.
But here I am considering making this effort even though I find even the thought of this almost impossible.
But here and now I have a choice before me which seems really difficult.
I've come to a point where the road ahead divides and I have to choose a path.
The pain that I've suffered has imprisoned me for a long time,
Maybe for as far back as I can remember.
I find myself still in a prison cell,
A dark room,
A room of cell,
A darkness that I find stifling.
But it has been suggested to me that in this darkness there is a door and a key and I am being offered that key.
That key is labeled forgiveness.
I never thought this could possibly work but maybe it is worth giving it a try.
Everything else has failed so I begin to ask myself what is to be lost by trying this?
The alternative is to stay here in the darkness and I'm not finding this a very happy place.
After all I've been through I deserve better,
I deserve release.
So here goes.
Against all my natural instincts I call on all the inner strength that has supported me so far.
Against all my natural instincts I take in my hand this key marked forgiveness and I take a look at it.
I see the indentations,
The wear and tear.
I notice the fingerprints of the person who has done me wrong.
I call to mind the pain that I've endured in the past at the hands of this person.
Now I can put the key in the lock or I can leave the key on the table where I found it.
What to do?
What to do?
Please guide me as to what to do.
Staying where I am is a comfort even though it is dark and miserable but I owe it to myself to break free.
I resolve to take this opportunity.
Yes I will remove that arrow that's been causing me pain for so long.
So I hesitantly place the key in the lock.
I turn the key.
Here and now in this moment I break free from my pain by offering the gift of forgiveness and allowing myself to step into the light.
So from the center of my heart I offer forgiveness to all who have ever hurt me especially to those who have hurt me the most.
I step out of this prison that has held me and I open my eyes to the bright new day outside.
I forgive.
I forgive.
Finally I forgive.
Let's take a minute to rest in the peace that follows every act of forgiveness.
Welcome back again.
Three quotes on the practice you've just managed to do.
It's not an easy journey to get to a place where you forgive people but it is such a powerful place to do so.
I hope you have enjoyed this video.
It's not an easy journey to get to a place where you forgive people but it is such a powerful place because it frees you.
That's a quote from Tyler Perry.
Louis B.
Smeeds says this,
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
And finally from Maya Angelou,
It is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself to forgive.
Forgive everybody.
So thank you for taking part in this exercise.
You may repeat it if you feel that the do so will help.
I hope the effort to forgive will bring you healing and lead you to a place of happiness and light.
And having forgiven anyone who has wronged you,
May you in turn be offered the same kindness when,
As we all do,
You find yourself in need of understanding and forgiveness.
May all your days be blessed.
Namaste.
Thank you.
