Decide From A Place Of Clarity - Talk

Today we are going to talk about how to decide from a place of clarity.

And I want to start by saying that I often hear myself and other people talking about some decisions or referring to some decisions as difficult decisions or important decisions or tough decisions and while I understand where this is coming from it's important to remember that what makes a decision difficult or tough or important is not the decision itself is our thoughts about the decision and from those thoughts and from those labels that we give to those decisions the emotions that we feel are created.

If we are about to make a decision about whether to have surgery or not we can call that a difficult decision or a tough decision but that's because of the thoughts that we have about what is going to happen when we decide to whether have the surgery or not.

And if I am fearing to have an accident while I am having the surgery or I'm thinking about losing some abilities or my life drastically changing after the surgery I might experience fear and the fear what the fear does is that it will make our sight blurry to make the decision.

When we are thinking about what quote-unquote the best decision is we are already creating some scenarios about what could happen trying to create certainty because that's really something very natural in us as human beings everything is uncertain but somehow we want to create certainty and we do this by creating possible scenarios with either past experiences that we have had or information that we have gotten from other people.

So I know that after this type of surgery these are the changes that a person will experience and based on that we think about the scenario we create the scenario and based on that scenario we feel and the fear because many times when we're thinking about the possible scenarios in a difficult situation because just just the name itself the label we're putting to the decision difficult makes it kind of scary.

So when we are having these thoughts or entertaining these thoughts that are related to the possible scenarios we experience fear or stress or anxiety and all these emotions bring our vibration our frequency to a lower level and also they block our clarity they block us from seeing what are all the possibilities or all the scenarios available for us or even putting aside what could happen putting aside the future if the fear stop stops us from being in the present moment from truly enjoying where we are right now yeah we think about the surgery and we might fear that we will die but what is happening in the future you are you don't want to die because you want to leave you want to be here you want to experience life but while you are thinking about the possibility of dying you are already becoming absent so where are you enjoying life see so now one thing that I want to mention is that many times the fear comes from thinking that we don't know what to decide and these fear translates also when we think oh I don't know what to do or I don't know what to decide just think about it probably you said this before I don't know I don't know what to do I don't know what to decide and that when you think about it it makes you feel powerless it makes you feel hopeless and those are also emotions that can blur your vision and it blocks all the possibilities because when you are allowing your mind to say I don't know you are closing any possibility to knowing or to possibly knowing and that is another thing that can block us from being clear or stop us from being clear also we tend to see things as either black or white that's so common and it varies from person to person in my case I tend to see is either black or white and my mind is so fixated on the black or the white that I forget that there is a rainbow of other possibilities when what when our mind is so fixated in the black or the white we narrow our focus and our focus is narrow to those two possibilities and of course our emotions are gonna based on those two possibilities and I want to share a story from one of my clients who I'm helping right now and he is looking for another job and he's currently studying law he was previously his career was on technology and he has worked for many years in technology but right now he's studying law just because he has this passion for law and he's looking for a new job and he's like yeah I want to I want to work on something related to law but I don't have the experience yet but I don't want to work in technology I'm sick of it and I say okay I understand but do you notice that you are you want to change jobs why do you want to change jobs and he said no because I'm tired of technology okay understood now is there any other reason yes because I want to make a living I want to make money and I just I need to generate money for my family for myself okay so would you agree that if you generate the money and you work on something that has nothing to do with technology you would be okay and he said no of course not I mean we'll all depend on the job this way oh yes okay okay but if you do a job about with that relates to something that you like and provides the needs or satisfies the needs that you have would you do it and he said yes okay right now you're only thinking about either law or technology but what are other things that you enjoy doing and we did a deep exploration on these and he came up with an amazing idea because when we started exploring not only the black and the white we explore the different colors some ideas like his creativity started to flow and ideas started to come and he decided that he's going to start a business training people on how to do boxing it's something it's a passion of his and he wants to to start training people on boxing and he's gonna do this along with the current job that he has and hey at the end the conversation we had he ended the conversation feeling so excited I saw a big light in his eyes because he not only saw the possibilities but he saw the possibility with something that he enjoys doing so much and I told him hey no matter where these leads right now the fact that you decided to start this business is gonna give you something maybe you don't make a living from it you have to work in your technology job for a little longer until you find another job in law but in the meantime you are bringing some joy some satisfaction while making some money and you are opening different paths different possibilities to make these a complete different careers it could turn into something that you never thought off so that is why it's so important to remember that there's not only black and there are so many other options and the other thing that tends to blur our vision and stop stops us from being clear about what to decide is that we think that once we decide there is no turning back and this could be true yes it could be true that you decide to leave your job and then you cannot go back to that job once you realize that the job that you went into is not what you wanted and you want to go back to the other company and the company says no no no we don't need you anymore yeah so we could agree there that there's no turning back but we could also agree that the if you go back to your previous job they tell you yeah you are welcome and this applies to anything so but that about the turning back piece and I'm gonna share another story I have a friend who I used to work with and we worked in the same company and he got an offer in another company he decided to leave it was a very good offer so he left and a year later he he wasn't happy with the job that he had and he decided to come back to the company and they say yeah come back we you'll get the same position a better salary which was actually something very good so there is a way there are possibilities for us to turn back and go to where we were but about the turning back piece something that is very important is that I mean we are whenever we turn back or let's say that we don't turn back there's no turn back we make the decision and there's no way to go back to where we were one thing that we forget is that once we make the decision we are a complete different person we make the decision let's say let's use example of my friend so we change jobs and we work in a complete different job for a year all the things that I am going to learn in that job are gonna make me a different person and just the fact that I decided to leave this job to go to this other job makes me a complete different person it makes me a person who decides it makes me a person who changes jobs who goes for what he or she wants and it makes me a person who is looking for what to satisfy their needs and it builds it adds into my confidence it adds into my my clarity so when if we go back for whatever reason we're gonna go back as a complete different person so yeah there will be no turning back in a way because the even if you go to back to the same job you're not gonna be the same person and that means that whatever you get to create in the same job that you that hire you again is gonna be completely different your experience is going to be completely different so all these to say that when we think that once we decide there's no turning back and that makes it look like even more scary because it makes us feel like we're gonna regret remember that if you go with all your heart into this decision thinking that you're gonna give it your best whatever it is and whatever the outcome is that you face that you're gonna give it your best and that you're gonna make the most out of the decision that you took if for some reason there is a way to go back to where you were you're gonna be a complete different person so any decision you take having a turn turning back or not can make you much better than staying stuck in indecision now how can we remove all these blocks that fear that stress anxiety create for us to be clear about what to do of course being in the present moment is key and that's something that we will do while we meditate but something that is super super important is to be clear to make a decision is to be clear and that clarity comes from being present and we can be present when we surrender when we trust in ourselves and when we trust the divinity or God or life however you refer to it and that trust of course is something that we can nurture through meditation but using also our rational brain and one is building trust could be as simple as deciding not to focus on the outcome of what or the expectations that we have for the choices we have when making a decision but focusing on who we want to become which is something I mentioned before so instead of thinking oh what if this goes wrong or what if this happens and what if I regret focus on thinking how or who is the person that I want to become no matter the outcome and if your focus is on that there is no way that you're gonna regret whatever decision you make now the part of the I don't know the thinking I don't know I don't know what to do I don't know what to decide instead of entertaining this narrative ask yourself what if I knew there is a big difference instead of feeling powerless and hopeless when entertaining the thought I don't know and you ask yourself what if I knew you are cultivating curiosity and hope because what if you knew what if you knew what to do how would your life be different how would this process of making the decision be different and how would the journey to not only making the decision but after you made the decision would be different now in terms of seeing black or white like I mentioned that one that's another thing that creates and makes our vision blurry so instead of focusing on what is on the black and the white and being able to see all the colors it's a simple practice that you can do and you can just sit down and start writing set a timer for 15 minutes and start writing about all the possibilities probably you have considered one two three four scenarios but I can guarantee that there are much more so allow your allowed your brain to stretch and start writing down all the possibilities that of the things that could happen when you make the decision and if you cannot come up with something ask a family member someone you trust a friend what do you see what do you think could happen and do some brainstorming sessions but do it with curiosity and just play with possibilities allow yourself to play with possibilities it will not only give you more clarity but it will also make the process lighter and about the third thing that I mentioned which is oh yeah thinking that once I decide there's no turning back well think about what I mentioned once you decide you have crossed the bridge and that bridge you can cross it back definitely but the person that crossed the bridge when you were at the at the beginning of crossing the bridge on the start of crossing the bridge you were one person but once you cross the bridge you weren't at the end of the bridge you are a different person because you saw different things that you couldn't see when you were at the beginning so remind yourself that even when there is a turning back your experience is going to be completely different and use the thought that I offered before who do I want to become when I cross this bridge so whatever I take with me whether I go back to where I was or not is something that serves me if you want to meditate on these to be in the present moment and create clarity I have a meditation here on inside timer that can help you do exactly that and it's called decide from a place of clarity