This week on Dear Love Universe is a beautiful interview with Professor Liquid,
Who is the host of the incredible show called Liquid Wisdom Podcast.
This episode is for you if you would like to listen to a very heart-touching life experience of how Professor went from having very challenging life experiences to now becoming a therapist.
This episode includes an abundance of very wise wisdom.
Join us as we discuss how he overcame homelessness,
Abuse,
Near-death experiences,
And more.
Hi,
Professor.
Thank you so much for being here with me today.
Hello,
Hello.
Thank you for having me here,
Being able to share this space with you,
Being able to converse with you.
Truly,
Truly honored.
Doing well today.
How are you doing?
I'm doing fantastic.
Every day above ground is a blessing.
Well,
Even if I wasn't above ground,
I think it'd still be a blessing.
That's true.
The living streak continues.
That's what I always say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So let's just jump right into it.
Tell me,
What was it like for you growing up?
Well,
For me,
It was life for me,
And I'll speak to myself,
Not for my siblings.
It was almost like a battle of extremes.
You had moments where things were okay,
And you also had moments where things were the worst it could have been,
Stemming from verbal abuse,
Physical.
It could stem from past grievances,
Or it could be one tiny trivial matter that could just spark the entire cataclysmic confrontation,
And it could last for quite a long time.
And living,
Walking on eggshells,
Essentially,
It left a lot of paranoia.
It left a lot of sadness,
Frustration,
And now as I've reached maturity,
And of course,
I'm still learning,
I keep asking myself why,
More so than anything.
Why did it happen this way?
What could have been different?
So it was truly an experience.
I don't want anyone to experience,
For sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It sounds like your experience was really challenging,
And it had some effects on,
Well,
Maybe a lot of effects on your adult life,
And just your whole life as a whole.
Yeah.
Through therapy,
Both as a child and going through therapy at different points during my adulthood,
I did not realize about so many behaviors,
Both consciously and subconsciously,
Traced back to my childhood,
Whether it's stemming from trust issues,
Codependency,
Incredibly self-destructive habits that both harmed me and my loved ones,
Friends,
Family,
That sort of thing.
And when you realize that a great deal of the amount of pain that you carry with you as an adult comes from your childhood,
You're going to go back into those moments and you're going to do some very deep self-exploration,
And you're not going back to relive the pain,
You're going back to lay that pain to rest.
Because pain that stays with you,
As I've learned,
You have two types of pain.
You have the chronic pain,
Which is the pain that a lot of us carry from that burden of heartbreak,
Heartache,
Betrayal,
Sadness,
Anger.
And then there's the pain that transforms,
Helps you grow.
And when you carry the former instead of the latter,
The chronic pain,
It can affect your health mentally,
Physically,
Emotionally,
And even spiritually.
Yeah,
Definitely.
Definitely.
What was a way that helped you overcome those chronic pains?
Wellpower,
Honestly.
It takes willpower because everyone journeys through their path of self-love and exploration and understanding with themselves and the world around them.
Everyone's path is different.
How you get there is a universal path.
But for me,
It just took a lot of willpower because there's a lot of days where I didn't want to do it,
Where I didn't want to confront those truths about my life and the people that you once held in high esteem in certain positions in your life,
Like your parents.
And you have to be honest about the things that happen to you.
And one of the things you don't want to do when you go into those darker parts of your mind and the more deeper chambers of your heart is you don't want to lie to yourself.
You don't want to say,
Oh,
No,
There was a justifiable reason for me to do that.
You don't want to say,
Oh,
No,
There was a justifiable reason for the abuse.
No,
It was exactly what it was.
It was abuse.
And the more honest you are with yourself,
The more willing you are to be honest with yourself,
The more you'll realize,
Though it may hurt initially,
The levels of peace and understanding you gain from it is truly an indelible experience.
And at least that's how it has been for me,
Being able to be honest with a lot of things that happened to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's such a good point.
Sometimes it can be really hard because it's like,
We love this person.
This person raised us and they're our family.
Right.
And it can be really difficult to see what happened as it happened for what it is.
Yes,
It really can.
A lot of the more I continue to study human behavior,
Both,
I guess,
Unofficially and through formal training,
Going to school,
You notice that a lot of individuals who carry a great burden themselves project and spread their pain onto others.
Because if you are in a healthy state of mind,
You can compartmentalize,
You can rationalize a lot of things.
However,
Not many individuals do that.
So you take an individual who grew up abused,
And then they have a family,
And then they project that pain onto their children.
So the cycle continues.
So now that child is going to grow up carrying the pain and lack of understanding from what their parents did.
And then potentially they could do the exact same thing to their family.
And breaking the cycle is one of the most important things.
Because even though I was abused growing up,
I don't want to ever project that kind of pain and hurt onto my family.
So the earlier you start,
The better.
I mean,
It should never happen to anybody,
But I figured the earlier you start,
The better.
And even if you don't confront it,
Let's say until adulthood,
Going in with an open mind,
Whether it's through therapy or group therapy or finding a healthy hobby,
Whatever it is,
Your path,
Wherever your path may take you,
Confronting it is the only way to truly come out the other end of it is to go through it.
And that's the universal truth that everyone,
Unfortunately,
Or fortunately has to confront at some point.
They have to go through it.
You can numb yourself to it for years.
And the thing is,
When those troubled waters rise within our psyche,
Within the well of our hearts,
All those bones,
All those moments from our past,
They come to the surface along with it and you're having to face all of it at once.
And it could make you feel as if you're underwater or carrying this boulder on your back that you can't shake.
So it's better to deal with these things as it happens rather than to try to run from it.
Yeah.
Because running from it doesn't work.
No,
You get tired.
You get tired.
You try to run away from it.
And the thing is you think you're creating distance between you and the moments of your life that you wish not to remember.
But with a certain scope and vision,
You'll look and see that you're shackled to it.
You're dragging it along with you.
That's why a lot of people call it baggage.
Like,
Oh,
It's a bad idea.
It's a bad idea.
It's a bad idea.
People call it baggage.
Like,
Oh,
I have excess baggage.
So the cool thing is about when you have this thing like baggage with you,
Unpacking it is how you get rid of it.
One suitcase at a time,
No matter how big or small,
Start somewhere,
Anywhere,
But do not let it continue to build.
I can speak from experience.
It weighs on you.
It weighs on you tremendously,
Especially for me as a young kid,
Having to experience and be able to see some of the things that I've had to experience.
I've of course,
Fought homelessness multiple times for multiple months,
Sleeping in parks,
Homeless shelters,
Sleeping in places that were just very decrepit and incredibly dirty.
To where I am now is truly,
It's been truly nothing short of a blessing,
Honestly.
And I've spent all my days figuring,
Of course,
Trying to lay my demons to rest,
But also showing,
Finding new appreciation for the life that I've been given because I've seen the worst of it.
And I saw it from such a young age for such long periods of time.
So I look for the things that,
I create the happiness that I have and I look for the little things because when you start counting down the little things about all the things you're grateful for,
All the blessings that you have,
The list can go on for days compared to the things that we take for granted and all the things that we tout as hardships in our life.
And by no means is it to belittle or to invalidate anyone's pain because it's all relative.
However,
When you've gone through some of the things that I,
At least for me,
A lot of things become trivial in the grand scope of things and you tend to appreciate the days you're given.
Just like you said,
At the beginning of our recording,
Waking up,
Being able to see and hear and taste and smell and touch,
Be able to interact with people that you care about,
Be able to create new experiences,
Just today,
In and of itself,
Being a gift is truly a blessing because there are a lot of days in my life where I didn't think I was going to make it the day after,
Whether it was being on the wrong end of a beating that lasts for hours or trying to keep myself warm,
Sleeping inside of jungle gyms at night,
Having to go to school the next morning or having to wear clothes to cover bruises all up and down my body and going to school at eight,
Nine years old and that sort of thing.
And the journey,
Truly,
Truly has been nothing short of unforgettable.
And I can stand here today and say that there,
Even though it does seem bleak at times,
There is hope if you continue to push towards the light.
I can attest to that 100%.
Yeah,
Definitely.
It's incredible.
I believe in miracles and it seems like you've definitely had quite a few in your life.
Yeah,
Yeah.
They say I have nine lives.
With all the things I've survived,
I think I'm down to five now,
But yeah,
I'm definitely trying to keep on kicking.
Yeah.
I want to just bring up,
Because I don't think we even mentioned so far,
How you have overcome this path and are actually becoming a therapist now.
Yeah.
So one of the things for me,
One of my core beliefs from the things that I've experienced in my life through abuse and the trauma is that I,
At times,
I felt as if I was alone,
Like no one cared.
And then I found help from some very instrumental people at pivotal points in my life.
And they helped me either through their knowledge,
Helped me navigate those troubled waters in my life when I felt like I didn't have the strength to swim.
And also,
As I've gotten older,
To understand the root causes for a lot of things that I did experience so that I can find peace.
I was,
I don't mind sharing this,
But I was clinically diagnosed,
I was diagnosed with clinical depression at nine years old.
And life for me became so daunting that I felt nothing.
I had no emotions.
I wasn't responding to anything.
I started giving up on things in school.
I stopped being receptive.
I didn't feel or care for anything at any point.
And I remember my first meeting with the therapist that I went to go see at that age,
And I sat there for an hour,
Didn't say anything.
And the therapist was incredibly patient with me and very compassionate and understanding to my situation.
Before I knew it,
I was just crying and just telling about all the things I've seen and the things I've experienced.
And it helped a great deal.
And so because of the experience that I had,
Having someone that didn't know me to take time out of their days and weeks and months at a time to help me at least swing the pendulum back towards the center to where I could find that balance again,
I wanted to in turn take the gift that I'd been given and give it to other people.
So that's why through my endeavors,
Through my service to the community,
My podcasts,
And even now going back to school to obtain my license and degree to be that symbol of peace and or balance or quiet for individuals who have gone through that darkness itself.
Because like a candle,
No one should ever go through it alone.
And that's just one of my core beliefs.
No one should ever have to suffer alone because we as humans,
We need each other.
We thrive and evolve and grow building from one another,
Whether it's an exchange of words or actions or energy,
We thrive off of others.
And if we can brick by brick build a loving,
Supporting community where people,
Despite their hardships,
Are still loved and still sought after as human beings,
Despite whatever they've gone through,
It could,
A little bit of kindness can go a long way.
Absolutely.
It's so helpful for people to have someone to hold that space for them.
100%.
Even if they just don't say anything,
But just to listen.
Yeah.
So you would,
You would,
You'd be surprised or maybe not surprised,
Um,
Given,
Given the type of work you do and helping others,
You know,
Find love within themselves.
You'd be surprised at how many people just need an ear.
Like when taking time to listen and not judge,
Taking time to listen,
To understand.
Um,
And even if they ask for advice,
To give grounded,
Real advice that helps them find a tangible solution.
It,
That in and of itself can be monumental in turning the tide in their life internally to reach that level of understanding that,
You know,
You want for them.
It's I've,
I've seen,
I've experienced,
I've been on both ends of it.
So it does work.
It does.
Absolutely.
Just listen,
Taking time to listen.
Something that you reminded me of earlier when you were talking,
Uh,
The belief systems and core values,
It's so important to recognize how our belief systems shape the way that we behave and how these belief systems are developed through our life experiences.
And they're mirrored through our families behavior,
And they can be passed down from generations to generations.
So that begs the question,
If our belief systems aren't serving us and they're not,
You know,
Uh,
Maybe the healthiest belief for us to have,
How do you think that we should go about changing that?
Well,
When it comes to beliefs,
When it comes to belief systems,
We,
As human beings,
We,
Whether we admit it or not,
We tend to want to remain in control of many things.
Um,
And sometimes when you are,
Uh,
The recipient of,
Uh,
A heavy blow or dose of trauma,
Uh,
The last thing you want is to feel powerless ever again.
Um,
Whether as a child,
You were abused by parents or someone else you cared about,
Or as you grow up individuals that come into your life,
That detract you from the path that you're taking for self-sufficiency and,
And maturation,
That sort of thing.
You don't want to ever lose control of that.
So when it comes to our beliefs,
The unknown scares us quite a bit.
We don't know what's around that corner.
We don't know what's in that Valley.
We don't know what's waiting for us at the peak of that mountain that we imagine in our heads as we're walking through life,
We don't want to walk into a situation,
Not know the outcome,
But the,
When you soon realize the more at peace you become with yourself pain,
Notwithstanding,
The more you begin to accept that,
Hey,
I'm not in control.
And when you accept that you're not in control of anything that happens around you,
But the only things that you can do,
You'll be more at peace with a lot of the things that you see.
And so,
With a lot of the things that you see,
I've seen plenty of people realize,
Hey man,
Or,
Or says,
I can't tell you what to do or how to do it.
The only thing I can control is how I react to what you do or what you say or what I say to you or what I do to you.
Um,
That can be very instrumental in our core belief systems.
And if that comes to a point of spiritual religious or not,
It comes to a point to where there's a line that we all have.
You have to be willing to jump out with your arms out wide,
Both feet and believe that things will work out.
Even if you don't know what the outcome is going to be,
We have to slowly and methodically transform our mindset from wanting to be in control of everything to letting go of the things that aren't important and understanding that the most important person in any equation is what you do and what you say.
Someone can come up to you and say some incredibly,
Uh,
Venomous and derisive things towards you,
But it's how you respond to that is what matters in the end versus what they said the same way when you approach relationships of any kind,
Business,
Intimate,
Platonic,
Is what you say and do helps to can help determine the course in which this germination of friendship can take.
And it's all about a lack of control or only controlling what you can do.
And I think that's where it starts.
I mean,
If we're going to start from a ground level learning and understanding that you can't control everything and being at peace with it.
Holding on and letting go.
Yeah.
One thing that I feel like can help people let go is just kind of telling themselves like things are as they are,
Whether I like it or not.
Yeah.
Being,
Being honest,
That's introspection is a,
Is a,
Is a habit and skill that can be taught just like anything.
Um,
Like happiness is a habit that we all form.
It's not something that we search for,
But something that we create and honesty with ourselves is something that we all should work on.
No matter how wise and seasoned we become in life,
Being,
Saying honest with ourselves,
Hey,
I should have been this,
Or Hey,
I didn't do this well,
Or Hey,
This person was right.
If you,
If you can maintain an honest relationship,
Honest rapport with yourself,
When you're in those private moments,
When you're having those conversations with yourself,
Whether it's you're through meditation or prayer or whatever habit,
Healthy habit that you formed and where you can unplug from all of the noise of that particular day,
If you can maintain honesty with yourself,
You'll,
You'll not,
You won't even notice it initially.
You'll just notice it at a certain point.
It's like,
You know what?
I'm okay with things not being okay right now.
Cause I know that up until this point I've survived 100% of all my darkest days up until now.
Yeah.
What's trying for one more day.
How is that going to hurt?
Exactly.
When we go through the worst of the worst,
We know we can go through anything.
Oh yeah.
It's like,
If you look at it,
Of course,
You know,
Through my time of knowing you,
I know that you are,
You love nature and I do too.
And we can learn a lot from nature.
We know that,
You know,
How the sun shines,
The brightest was at the top of the sky and you can see everything and you can navigate just like in life,
You know,
When everything's at its brightest,
But the sun isn't up for 24 hours a day,
You have the times where things become incredibly dark.
It's the cycle we go through every night.
We accept that there's a night and day to our daily lives.
The same can be said for our spiritual,
Emotional,
And mental journeys too.
You are,
You are designed to grow through pain,
Not necessarily the type of pain that leaves irrevocable damage upon your psyche,
But the pain of transformation and growth.
When you want to go to the gym to work out,
You work your muscles out to fatigue and they,
They break down and they grow stronger.
You go through hardships in life.
You come out with more understanding of what it means to appreciate the things you have.
Um,
There's a lot of people who have said,
You know,
People who've been in love for decades at a time,
Um,
Married couples have said,
Nah,
If it wasn't for that one person breaking my heart at one point in time in my life,
I will never learn to appreciate the goodness and the blessing of having this person in my life.
Because we,
It changed,
It pivots our perspective and change.
It helps give us a clarity that we didn't have before.
So even when you travel through those points in life where things seem the darkest,
There's the moon,
There's the stars.
And if you slow your steps down to a point of being more cautious and careful,
Eventually you'll see the sunrise both physically and metaphorically in your life.
Yeah,
Absolutely.
I'm really happy that you brought this up and you,
I always admire how you have the most poetic examples.
Thank you.
I loved,
Uh,
When I was,
When I was a child,
I used to,
I was,
Uh,
I was,
It was ingrained in me to learn the art of the love reading.
Um,
I love to read.
So when it came to creative writing,
Like sonnets,
Haikus,
Uh,
Poems,
Free verse,
That sort of thing,
Uh,
I consumed it.
I just kept eating it up.
And even to this day,
I still love how we are so intelligent at expressing ourselves from what we have in our minds and how we can translate it through our pen or keystrokes now,
Since everything's digital,
But yeah,
It's,
It's beautiful.
I appreciate it.
Thank you.
Yeah,
Of course.
It makes sense now.
Yeah.
So.
I,
You mentioned habits and I do want to touch on that because we are only at the mercy of our beliefs through which we let our habits dictate what we do and experience.
So when it comes to habits,
What do you recommend someone can do to create better ones?
And I think,
And at the same time,
Self-sabotage,
What are your thoughts?
Well,
I go,
I'll start,
I'll go backwards and then go,
And then start at the top of the question.
So you mentioned self-sabotage that is honestly,
When it comes to transformation is oftentimes you can,
You can justifiably say that it can be external forces and variables,
Preventing us from being able to reach the goals that we want in our lives,
Whether it's,
You know,
Uh,
Achievement,
Academia,
Sports,
Or business and,
Uh,
Relationships.
Otherwise,
Sometimes it can be the people that you surround yourself around that want to keep you as the same person that they knew and keep you from becoming the person,
You know,
You're capable of becoming.
Um,
But more times not it's ourselves,
It's our own self doubt.
It's our self pity.
It can be,
Um,
That voice in your head,
Born of your trauma that tells you that you won't do it.
You're not going to be able to do it because,
Uh,
Science and scientifically proven that our brains have this thing called a negative bias.
Our brains remember negative things more so than our positive things,
Because when bad things happen or when things potentially can happen to us,
We think of the negatives immediately like,
Oh,
How can things go wrong?
Oh,
This can go wrong.
This can go wrong.
This can go on.
This can go wrong.
And we have to work on the reconstruction and rewiring our brains to think of more the positive aspects of it outcome in which we don't know what could happen.
Well,
Yeah,
Things go wrong,
But look at all the things that can go,
Right.
You can end up doing this or this or this or this.
And it's the little things that we do is as far as developing better habits,
Consistency,
It doesn't,
Whatever your goal is to let's say your goal is to lose weight.
Just start by eating,
Replacing certain foods with other foods and just focus on that food for a little while.
And then you slowly build,
You slowly build,
You slowly build.
And if you start with a solid foundation,
No matter what unforeseen circumstances that may take place in your life,
If you start with a solid foundation,
It won't get rocked.
You will fall,
You'll slip,
You'll cut yourself.
That's fine.
That's not,
That's the natural process of growth is to fail.
Excuse me,
Is to learn and to succeed,
To learn and succeed,
But not to stay in that sort of place,
To not stay in that sort of mindset,
That sort of emotional state,
Staying consistent and having the willpower to endure.
You,
We are human.
We are beautifully complex creatures that at times suffer from internal stripes and conflicts that we have within ourselves.
The things that we want,
The person we want to be versus the voice that tells us we can't.
And you,
There's a,
I learned growing up that there's a difference between I will,
Will I,
And I.
If you say,
I will overcome these things,
You'll notice how certain goals will become more attainable.
When you ask yourself,
Will I do these things instead of just speaking to the positive affirmations,
Affirmations,
You'll speak more to the unconscious aspect of our brains.
And that's where our trauma is.
That's where the voice of doubt resides.
It's not when we consciously think about things is when we're not thinking about it.
So if you're willing to excise and to dissipate that negative energy that builds inside of you,
Whenever we,
You experience negative things in your life,
You'll notice the level of how light you'll feel.
Just,
You'll just feel lighter in both your spirit and emotionally you'll,
You'll feel better.
Consistency,
Honestly,
In whatever way that takes shape,
Whether it's through reminders in your phone,
Friends,
Having a support system,
Consistency.
And that's,
That's how all habits are transformed and become attainable in anything we seek to do through consistency.
Yeah.
Consistency is key.
We can't express that enough.
Yes.
Stay inconsistent.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you for sharing that.
Oh,
No,
Thank you.
So I want to talk about what,
So you mentioned that there was people in your life who were really influential to you and like pivotal points.
What were the things that maybe they told you at the times that you needed that you could share with people who might be going through a challenging time?
It's this is going to maybe,
Maybe it'll surprise some people,
But I was one of the things that resonate with me the most,
Especially when I was a child was that your tears aren't a sign of weakness.
Your tears are a sign of strength because if you're willing to cry about the things in your life that pain you a great deal,
Then that means you're acknowledging that it doesn't have to stay within you.
It's one of the things I've learned,
Especially as I've gotten older,
Is that crying is actually therapeutic for us.
If you think back to every,
Any moment in your life,
Whether from childhood to adolescence to adulthood,
And you've cried about something and you notice how you feel better afterwards,
It's the one of the most purest emotions that we have that actually is designed for us to become better,
To feel better.
Our tears actually produce natural painkillers that helps us,
That helps soothe us,
Helps us feel better.
And once the therapist was one of those people that told me that,
It allowed me to embrace that aspect of my emotions that I felt like I had to bottle up for so long because of all the pain that I've endured,
That,
Oh,
No one's going to care about my tears.
No one's going to care about me crying and that sort of thing.
But the opposite is in fact true.
If you have a friend or a family member or a loved one that has endured a great deal and needs a shoulder to cry on,
Being that pillar for them in that moment is something,
Whether they remind you or not,
Is they'll never forget that.
Because no matter how old I become,
I will never forget those moments of kindness that these people have shown me at different points in my life.
Because it was at those points in my life where I was at my lowest that right on time,
They seemed to come in and provide me exactly what I needed.
And I never knew.
So for all you listening out there,
Don't be afraid to cry.
Crying is a sign of strength,
Not weakness.
It really is.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
I'm curious,
Throughout all of this,
What was the most motivating factor for you to keep going?
The thing is,
I've been told I've been a survivor more than anything in my life.
I've survived many things.
You asked me about my story,
Emma,
As you are now.
You'll learn,
Okay,
Well,
Now I understand why this guy cares as much as he does,
Given what he's gone through.
You look at my body physically,
And you'll see a rich tapestry of pain and trauma from head to toe.
There are,
Though my scars have healed,
Some are still left behind.
It reminds me of how far I've come.
And it's because when I look at those scars,
When I think about where I was,
And I look at where I am now,
It motivates me to keep going.
Even when I do have those moments of self-doubt,
And I'll say,
Is it worth it to keep going?
Yeah,
It is.
Because even if it's just one step,
Even if it's just an inch,
You aren't standing in place to where the grass can grow under your feet.
You're moving forward,
Even if it takes you two years,
Three years,
You're beginning the process of moving forward.
You aren't the same person you was at that point in time,
Because when people say,
Well,
Oh,
You've changed,
And they say,
Oh,
You're vastly different now,
It's a reminder that we're ever changing,
And we're ever moving forward.
Even if it's on a microscopic level,
We're always evolving,
We're always changing.
And so when someone came along and told me,
This is something you can attain for yourself as well,
At first I didn't believe it,
I thought it was BS.
But through those sessions and the exercises I was doing,
The honest conversations,
The feedback,
Giving me a framework and how I can operate at that point in my life,
It became a part of me,
And it just stays with you.
And I look back on some of my old journals when I was younger,
And the things I used to write about,
And I was like,
Wow,
There was so much pain in my pen at that time.
And I'm thankful for it,
Because I can use,
At least for me,
My story,
I can use that to motivate someone else and say,
Hey,
I'm not speaking from a high horse or someone who's never gone through remotely what you're thinking or what you haven't gone through,
I've been there myself.
So one of the coolest things is when you're trying to navigate the minefield that life brings,
Trust the minesweeper who has the tools and the gadgets to show you where those dangers lie,
Or trust people who've been through it,
And the results speak for themselves.
Yeah.
You brought up a really good point that I just want to emphasize,
That it is possible for everyone to heal.
It is.
Healing,
A lot of individuals,
I used to think that healing was,
Like how it was in the comics,
Like with Wolverine and other superheroes,
You just heal within a few hours.
And okay,
That's it.
That's cool.
But as our brain develops,
We,
Of course,
We develop more as well.
So instances of sadness and frustration,
Anger,
It stays with us a lot longer because our brains are holding on to that negative bias even harder.
It doesn't want to let it go.
And so when you begin the path of healing,
Understand that time is undefeated,
Through time you will grow,
You will learn,
And also through time you will heal.
So as long as you allow time and your consistency to be the two driving forces behind your path of peace,
Then you'll know for sure that you've reached that point of healing.
I tend to think of the way we love and the way we think is like puzzle pieces.
We always say,
Well,
When this thing happened,
I lost a part of myself.
And if you look at the rich tapestry that is your life as a puzzle piece,
You lose different pieces along the way.
But the beauty is,
Is that in those empty spaces,
Those voids,
When you don't heal,
When they're left in their wake,
You can replace those missing pieces with better ones.
So though I've loved and I've lost,
I can love again.
Though I've experienced pain,
I'm still here to tell my story to anyone who will listen.
So if you've focused on not what you've lost,
But what you can gain from what you've lost,
You'll allow yourself to be fully immersed in the experience that is your life and understand that where you are now isn't where you're going to be in 5,
10,
15,
20 years.
This moment in your life,
This moment of tragedy,
Sadness doesn't define you.
It's just one important chapter or footnote that is the book of your life because the ink is still wet and there's still a lot more to write.
So a lot more to write.
Exactly.
It's so good.
So good.
We having gratitude for everything that we've been through is so important.
Like just saying that makes my eyes kind of like water.
No,
It is because with gratitude comes joy.
And that's divine.
Like no matter how painful things might be,
It ultimately is shaping into who you are.
And that's really a beautiful thing.
But at the same time that it's shaping us into who we are,
We shouldn't really let pain be our identity or something that we might latch onto as part of who we are.
Like we can overcome that and look at moving forward while still being grateful.
Oh,
For sure.
You mentioned gratitude,
Right?
And excuse me.
I look back on my life and I've revolved around the sun quite a few times now,
31 to be exact.
And every year on the day I was born,
I look back on what I've learned and how excited I am to learn more.
I used to listen to old stories.
My mother who passed away about six years ago,
She would tell me and my father would tell me that I was strangling.
I was being strangled on my umbilical cord and I used to have my little hands in between the space where the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck and where my fingers were to keep myself alive to breathe.
And the doctors were so incredibly frightened when I came through the birth canal and they were afraid.
And so that's what I was saying earlier about being a survivor.
I've survived being shot,
Drowned,
So many things,
And I've overcome all of those things.
Very incredibly scary moments.
I'm not going to say and say like,
Oh,
I've walked through fearlessly,
But no,
I was scared.
But the amount of joy I have,
Because I know in those moments,
I know those were teachable lessons that the Creator gave me in saying that these moments in your life,
Though they were scary,
We can look back and draw from it,
Not the pain,
But the knowledge that came with it.
And the amount of joy I have today is nothing can take that away,
The amount of joy I have waking up any day to end in Y talking to you,
Talking to friends or be able to see here and be able to communicate and articulate what's on my mind.
There's so many people,
Even right now as we're speaking,
That are fighting for theirs right now,
Some that won't be here to see the end of the year.
When I graduated high school many moons ago,
A student told me,
A classmate of mine told me,
He told me when we were looking out,
After everyone had their name called and after the graduating ceremony,
It was kind of bittersweet.
It's like,
Wow,
It's the end of a journey,
Start of another.
And he told me,
He said,
Hey,
Look out into the crowd.
And I'm like,
What am I looking for?
And he said,
No,
I want you to see,
This is the last time that any of us will be here as a collective,
All of us,
Because 10 years from now,
On our first reunion,
There's a lot of us who probably won't be here.
And that was,
It was enlightening,
You know,
To a very profound degree because you,
We tend to wake up every day thinking that life is entitled to us.
And I can understand where individuals could have that sort of mindset to where,
Oh yeah,
See you tomorrow.
No,
That's not guaranteed.
You hope and pray that you will see tomorrow.
That's why for a lot of Christian folks will say,
You know,
God willing,
I'll see you tomorrow.
Because at least in some small modicum of thoughts we have in our spaces,
When we say,
Okay,
Let's hope I live to see tomorrow.
Our plan is if I'll be here tomorrow,
But I'll live every day as if it was my last,
Because I want to enjoy life is the greatest gift.
And we remember how precious life can be through the moments we share with people we care about,
The things we learn,
The things we grow from.
Life is the gift.
You get many chances to live the life that you want,
But you only get one journey to do it on.
You only get one.
Mm-hmm.
Wise words of wisdom by Professor Liquid.
Thank you.
When we talk about life,
I feel like it's so important to mention how life is something that is really beautiful.
You know,
We mentioned that a few times.
When I was younger,
I always felt like life was just so painful.
And I just,
I don't know,
I was hopeless,
Especially at certain times.
As I've gotten older,
I've realized that it doesn't always have to be that way.
That there,
You know,
Like we mentioned,
There's the sun and the moon and the light in the dark.
But there's actually a lot of joy that we can have from life.
And we can look forward to the joys and know that with joy will come pain and with the pain will come joy.
I just really want to mention how important it is to look forward with joy and know that there are good times ahead.
There's actually a sign that I saw on the Hermosa Beach Strand,
But I was really skating that said,
Make tonight one of the top 50 best days of your life or nights.
And I thought that was really cool.
Yeah,
That's what it is.
And it's like,
We can still create the best days of our lives.
Mm-hmm.
And allow me to ask,
Caitlin,
When you said that you discovered joy,
Was it,
Did it come in the form of a sign or did it come from within?
Was it something,
A thought that crossed your mind,
Overwhelming feeling that washed away at least the thoughts that were clouding the vision of you being able to experience happiness and joy?
What was it like for you that moment,
If you can take us back,
What was it like for you that moment of pure bliss?
I think for me,
When it comes to pure bliss versus,
You know,
Growing through those times when I was hopeless,
I think it came actually having to hit rock bottom to reset and have a spiritual awakening and really recognize the changes that I want to make and making an action plan to align with those choices.
And then over time,
Just with practice,
I think joy becomes something that is a bit easier to feel,
Especially when you have gratitude and you live in the present moment.
Yes.
Well,
No,
I 100% agree with,
I concur with everything you articulated.
It is a choice.
We feel as if there is no choice when it comes to the impossible,
The impossibilities that despair can bring into our lives.
We feel as if there is no other way,
But what's in front of us.
And it goes back to the influences that we have.
If you have four,
Five people in your life,
Right?
And four people say you'll never be anything,
But then there's that one person that says,
No,
You will be something.
Of course,
You're going to believe the four because it's the majority.
And of course the brain holds onto negative things more so than a positive ones,
But you'll realize that all it takes is one person to believe in you,
Even if it's yourself at the time,
All it takes is one act of kindness to completely change the direction of your life.
And I,
This is one of my favorite stories to tell about how one act can influence everything that we do going forward.
And I don't know if I ever told you this story,
But it was,
It was about this many,
It was many moons ago,
This young man was being bullied in high school and the bullying reached such a fever pitch for him that he wanted to end his life.
He saw there was no other direction his life was going to take.
So on a particular Friday afternoon,
He took all of his books out of the locker room.
I mean,
Out of his locker,
Excuse me,
Put in his book bag and he was going to go home and prepare to write a note to his mother that he was sorry and that he couldn't take life anymore.
And he was going to end his life.
This was freshman year of high school.
And on the way out the door of the school,
He was approached by his oppressors,
His bullies,
And they proceeded to physically beat him up.
And it was this other kid who came out of nowhere.
I was like,
Hey,
Leave him alone.
And,
You know,
Chase the bullies away.
And the,
The kid that helped him out,
Picked his books up for him,
Said,
Hey,
Everything okay?
Are you all right?
The kid was like,
Yeah,
I'll be fine.
And the other guy said,
Okay,
Cool.
That's your relief.
I didn't want,
I wanted to hurt you or anything like that.
And he smiled at him and he said,
See you Monday.
And the kid who was being bullied,
Didn't quite understand what was happening,
But he'd never seen anyone smile at him,
Which such relief before.
So the kid goes home and he's getting ready to do the act and something happened.
Some call it a miracle.
Some call it enlightenment,
Whichever,
But something happened.
He didn't go through with it.
He proceeded to go through the rest of weekend,
Just thinking about the act of that person,
Helping them in that smile,
What it did for him.
And saw the guy on Monday,
As he was going through school in the halls,
They spoke to each other.
He said,
Hey,
You,
Um,
Cool.
How was your weekend?
He says,
Okay.
And fast forward four years later,
That kid that was bullied is his senior year now.
And that kid is the valedictorian of their graduating class.
He,
Over the course of that four years,
He and that guy became best friends and he was much more confident.
He grew to be a pretty handsome,
Uh,
Young man,
Very intelligent and was giving his graduation speech.
And he was talking about the willpower to not give up,
Even when you feel there's no other option.
And he told the very story I'm telling you about how that weekend he wanted to commit suicide and he thanked his best friend out in the crowd for saving his life.
He said,
You may not have known this,
But you helped me out that day and smiling at me and telling me,
See you Monday,
It changed something in me.
I wanted to continue fighting.
And the friend never knew about that.
He didn't know what was going to,
He didn't know that that was the plan when you saw him that Friday evening or afternoon four years ago,
Four years prior.
And the more of that story is this,
It's a true story by the way.
The more of that story is even if you smile at a stranger for no reason at all,
Or say,
Hey,
You look great today,
Or hope you have a great day or hello,
How are you?
You never know the sort of meaningful impact you can have on a person's life from one small act of kindness.
And you could be the reason why someone decides to go for one more day.
You could be the reason why someone decides to keep going.
You could be the inspiration to so many people you will probably never meet,
Especially in this kind of space where people tune in and they hear your voice and they hear the soothing nature of it and this happiness,
This love,
This peace.
And it could go in such a beautiful direction for that person to help illuminate the path in front of them.
Even if it doesn't allow them to see around the corner,
It can at least allow them to see what's in front of them like a candle.
Wow,
That's a really touching story.
Yeah,
I keep that in my head all the time.
It's a very beautiful story,
Especially when it comes to how a lot of people say,
Well,
Smiling doesn't work.
Smiling won't help anyone.
Oh,
Hi.
Oh,
To the contrary,
My friend.
One small act that can truly change a person's life.
It truly can.
Exactly.
Small acts of kindness are a big deal because,
Well,
For many reasons,
But first of all,
We don't know what people are going through.
We truly don't.
We truly don't.
Behind every set of eyes is a story that is waiting and praying and hoping that can be told.
Yeah,
I think as a coach,
And you probably know this too,
People who seem like they might have it all together,
You know,
A successful career,
Or maybe they're older and have a lot of wisdom,
But they still have a lot of troubles in their mind.
They do.
We would never know.
You want to know why,
And for listeners,
Kaitlin can see me as we're conversing,
And when she speaks,
I smile because,
And the reason why my smile is as bright as it is,
Is because I've had a collection of dark days where I didn't have the strength to smile.
So this smile,
As you see,
And others will see as they come across me in my life,
It comes from a place of knowing I've been on the other side of all of this.
And I never understood how comedians,
And you mentioned people having it all together,
And one of the things that's very interesting to me is comedians,
Stand-up comedians.
They are some of the most pained individuals you'll come across in a more mainstream space,
Because it's an art to transform pain to laughter.
It's an art to take the pains of your life and somehow draw some form of irony from it,
To laugh at it.
And in drama,
In theater,
You see the two faces,
The smiling one and the crying one,
And the crying one,
Because it's true,
The same things that make us laugh can make us cry.
And the vice versa,
The reversal of that is true as well.
So when you see someone,
And when you speak to someone and they,
You see this glow in their eyes and their energy is just soothing and it's just very overwhelming,
It's like a warm blanket,
Understand that they have more than likely experienced a great deal of pain to be able to find peace in knowing that they don't have to be defined by that pain.
Very true.
Very true.
Thank you.
As our episode is closing up a little,
I have a few more questions.
So this one is probably a little loaded,
But I love loaded questions.
Sure,
Sure,
Sure,
Sure,
Sure.
So from everything that we've talked about,
And as you've shared your life experience,
What do you feel is your biggest takeaway from your whole life?
From,
That is a very loaded question,
But it's very beautiful at the same time.
I'll do my very best to answer that.
One of the biggest takeaway from my life is that though it may have felt like I've experienced many lifetimes in the short time I've been here on this planet,
I know that despite everything that I've gone through,
Had I not gone through any of those things,
I wouldn't be the person I am today.
It's through all of that,
All those lessons that I've learned in my life and the pain that I once carried with me has allowed me to be the kind of person to appreciate where I am right now.
And being on the other side of it and looking back on all those incredibly dark moments in my life,
I made it because I wanted to,
I chose to.
And even if I couldn't walk,
I'll crawl.
I can crawl,
I'll drag myself with my two hands if I have to.
I'm not going to stop moving forward and I'm not going to stop appreciating the presence,
The compassion and love that I've been able to fully receive by laying my pain to rest from so many people,
Some familiar,
Some new that truly care about me.
And once you allow yourself to love and to be loved by others,
You'll find,
You'll gain so much more strength and understanding being did by holding on to the pain that was your,
That defined your life at one point or another.
And unfortunately,
Some people who do experience pain find it hard to get through this pain and find the beauty in chaos because if that's all that they've ever experienced,
They don't know how to accept anything else.
And I can truly say if you've listened to this conversation and my own personal testimony,
You are worthy of love.
All of us are.
You're worthy of a second chance.
You are not what the people have done to you.
You didn't deserve what happened to you,
But there's a purpose for the pain that you've experienced to potentially help someone else or maybe to face a hardship that you don't even see on the horizon many years from now.
There's a lot of things that has happened to me in my adult life that I would have probably buckled from had I not gone through the plethora of traumatic experiences I've had as a child and being able to lay that pain to rest and to just siphon the knowledge from those situations has allowed me to navigate life with a much more assurity and more confidence than I had before.
So I appreciate the loaded question and for anyone who's going through trauma out there,
Just understand this,
That you'll never buckle,
You may buckle from the weight at times because of how heavy it is,
But you'll never buckle from the lift.
So keep pushing forward.
Thank you so much.
No problem.
Yeah,
That was very inspirational.
Yeah,
It's a habit I've formed over the years.
It's really easy to see why you're such a great podcast host.
Oh,
Thank you.
That truly means a lot.
Thank you.
Coming from you,
It really means a lot.
You're one of my favorite podcasters to listen to,
Like truly and being able to,
Being able to,
No,
This isn't,
No,
This isn't,
No,
I'm not ashamed to say this while recording,
But yeah,
Being able to come across your platform and your mission,
Serving others and helping others on that path to loving themselves again is,
Is truly beautiful.
And you're just one incredible woman doing all of this from the kindness of your heart and with the amount of,
You know,
Time and energy that you put into this,
You care,
You truly care.
There's a lot of individuals,
Unfortunately,
Who've learned how to weaponize people's insecurities and their vulnerabilities for profit or for other nefarious reasons.
But when it comes to you and what you do,
There is such a,
And I think I told you this in private before,
But there's a level of authenticity that can't be denied.
And it's such,
It gives faith for individuals like myself to continue to keep the fight going on my end,
Because there's so many wonderful people like yourself out here who want,
Who gained joy from seeing people learn the work and foundation to love themselves again,
After dealing with sometimes life's greatest tragedies.
So thank you for the service and work that you do and for this platform and the other things that you do for so many people that some of you probably won't even know about.
It's really beautiful.
So,
So I took my hat to you,
Well,
My invisible hat,
I took my hat to you and seen nothing short of wondrous energy and love and support from where I'm sitting to where you are.
Thank you so much.
That means so much to me.
I really appreciate it.
It feels so good to be,
You know,
Recognized.
I really appreciate it.
Oh yeah.
I don't believe in giving people the flowers when they're no longer with us.
Whenever I get the chance,
I always make sure to give a flowers to the people,
You know,
While they're here and let them know why they walk this earth that they are loved,
They're cared for,
And most importantly,
They're appreciated.
They're appreciated.
As are you.
Oh,
Thank you so much.
You know,
I've never done this before,
But I want to give you the space to ask me a question.
Okay.
So given what you've accomplished,
As far as your journey of transformation and self-actualization,
If there's anything you can draw from where you are currently now,
What allows you,
Given what you've experienced,
To push beyond those moments of self-doubt or to where you feel as if you can't take another step anymore?
What compels you to keep pushing forward?
Yeah,
That's a good question.
You know,
Like having,
Coming from my life experiences to becoming a life coach and running my podcast,
My Instagram,
Having clients and doing all of these things at the same time can be a lot.
It can be a lot.
And I think that what keeps me going,
Honestly,
Is knowing that,
Well,
Maybe not even knowing,
But having the feeling that it's not about me,
It's about the people that I serve.
Right.
And so when it gets tough,
Because with any job or anytime,
Sometimes it gets tough.
It can.
Yeah.
And I just remember that it's bigger than me.
And when I think about it like that,
It's a lot less likely that I'm going to self-sabotage.
So that is what really keeps me going.
And to be quite honest with you,
And I'm actually not afraid to say this on the podcast,
But I don't want anyone to think I'm suicidal or anything.
I'm just,
I honestly feel like I live my life in service to other people.
I just feel like my job is to bring joy into this world and to help people.
And so I just feel like my whole life is in service.
And so that is what really keeps me going.
No,
You bring light to a lot of people who only see darkness and it truly takes a very special,
Very courageous person for an undertaking of such weight.
Because as we all know,
Not everyone can do what it is that you do.
And in order to walk that path where there are a lot of times where you will feel lonely,
You'll be filled with doubt,
You'll feel a level of pain that doesn't come from your past,
But when you reach out and either physically touch or touch bases with so many people,
Because you care so much,
You can feel what they've gone through,
Being an empath or being someone who is truly compassionate.
And I applaud that because it takes not a person of being the strongest physically to do such a thing,
But it takes someone who has a truly strong will,
Even when they feel weak to continue going.
And so being in service of others and bringing joy and love and knowledge to people's lives with the plethora of resources you give out to people and what you spend your days doing,
I truly,
And I say this now,
Before your hair turned silver,
Before you've seen so much of the world,
I truly hope that you get the embarrassment of riches that's deserving of someone who's been as selfless and who thinks of others more than themselves like you have.
I truly hope that you receive that,
Just in abundance,
Truly.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I have full faith.
It's only a matter of time.
It's only a matter of time.
That's right.
Yeah.
Undefeated.
Thank you.
No problem.
So final question,
Besides for like the other ones.
Sure.
Okay.
Yes.
Do you have any final messages for listeners?
Yeah.
I've been thinking about it for a while.
I just want to encourage all of you incredible souls out there who take time out of your day to listen to this lovely young ladies podcast and her messages and what the guests that she has on and of these incredible inspirational stories of encouragement and love and knowledge.
There's so much knowledge.
There's so many gems that you can pick from each episode that you listen to through casual conversation.
And if there's anything I want to tell anyone listening,
I want you all to understand that in all of the days that you have lived through and all the days are yet to come,
As long as you continue to look beyond yourself and to stay focused on the path that is inside out in front of you,
You'll look back at the top of that mountain of your life when you've achieved the things that you set your mind and heart to,
And you'll see the litany of footprints that you left in your wake.
Even without realizing that you've come this far,
You truly have come a long way.
So be the tree by the river,
Be the mountain in the face of the fierce winds and be the tranquil waters that spread when you think as if you're,
You're,
You can't go any further.
Continue to push forward in peace and then love for those two things.
That's where true strength resides.
That's it.
Yes.
Thank you so much for bringing your value.
Oh,
Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
As I said,
I was excited.
Like a 10 year old,
I was like,
Oh wow,
I get to be on this platform.
It's truly an honor.
So thank you for having me truly.
Yeah,
You're welcome.
So where can listeners find you and connect with you?
Oh,
Okay.
Plug time.
If you want to listen to my voice and aspects of mental health and stories of inspiration and in a very grounded and very fun way,
You can find me at Liquid Wisdom Podcasts.
It is distributed wherever podcasts are distributed.
It's on Spotify,
Apple,
And other podcast platforms.
If you don't have a streaming service device,
Streaming service to listen to,
You can find me on YouTube at Formless Professor Liquid.
Formless Liquid was taken.
And if you're,
If you want to see my daily thoughts,
You can find me on my Instagram at Liquid Underscore Wisdom Underscore Podcasts.
Sorry for all the underscores.
And you can also find me on Twitter at Formless Liquid as well.
So I'm everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
So I'm everywhere.
I'm somewhere.
So wonderful.
Yeah.
I would just like to say if you're whatever podcast streaming platform you're on right now,
Unless it's my website or something,
Just go search up his podcast.
It's pretty awesome.
And we also actually filmed an interview with me on there that you can check out.
Yes.
It was a beautiful collaboration and,
And the start of an awesome friendship as well.
It was,
It was truly honored to have Kaylin come on and share her knowledge and love,
What it means to not be defined by your past.
And the insight she provided is something that I learned a lot from myself being in the seat of the host and to come full circle is this is truly remarkable.
Yeah.
I'm so excited.
Thank you so much again.
No problem.
Thank you so much for tuning into this episode today.
If you enjoyed it,
Please share this episode with a friend who you feel could benefit from learning this information.
Let's give a big shout out to professor for being an incredible human being and for his courage to share his life with us.
Thank you so much,
Professor.
I feel so blessed to not only know him,
But also consider him my friend.
You can find his show liquid wisdom podcast on Instagram.
Be sure to check out his show next week.
I'll be posting an episode that is a little different than usual.
Erica Thomas from the work in podcast interviews me about my life story.
I'm so excited to share this with you because I just think it's really important to connect with you on a personal level.
You're always welcome to send me a message on Instagram at dear love universe or email me at hello at Kaylin vu.
Com.
Just a reminder,
You can support this podcast by purchasing merchandise on my website,
Www.
Caylinvu.
Com where I have tote bags,
Hoodies,
Jewelry,
And a lot more.
Thank you so much again for tuning in.
I really appreciate you and I hope that you have an incredible rest of your day.
