Guided Meditation 4.
1 Empathy for the Inner Critic.
For this meditation,
Choose any self-judgment you have that packs a lot of punch,
A statement that your body has a strong reaction to when you tell it to yourself.
This will be your starting point for what your inner critic sounds like.
Take a note of this judgment to use in a little while during this meditation.
And first,
If you would like to close your eyes,
Begin with the overall body sense.
Where is your body in space?
Where are your shoulders in relationship to your stomach?
Where are your elbows in relationship to your hips?
Where are your feet and your knees,
And how does your forehead relate to them?
Now bring your attention to your breath.
Can you feel that shape that your breath makes in your lungs when you inhale?
How far down into your torso does the shape go?
Can you feel any changes in your abdomen as you breathe?
What happens to the shape when you exhale?
Invite your attention to rest with the changing shape of your breath,
Your chest,
And your diaphragm.
When your attention wanders away from your sense of the shape of your breath,
Gently and with warmth,
Find out if your attention is willing to come back to your breath.
Now that you are self-connected and noticing your body,
Invite yourself to dip back into your critic's voice.
Say the words that you found aloud.
What happens in your body?
Do you stop breathing?
Whatever sensations you find,
Even if you move into blankness or numbness,
See if there is an emotion word that begins to describe what you feel.
And what are the deeper longings that lie below the words?
As you slowly hear the guesses in the list below,
Take the guesses that work for you and discard the rest.
The experience of hearing these possible deep motives for self-criticism can feel a little overwhelming.
Use your own response and hold yourself with gentleness.
If you are listening to this as a recording,
Pause or stop the recording whenever you would like to.
The purpose of this meditation is to gently inquire into how the critic is trying to contribute and what it's like to hear the heart of the inner critic.
Turn to the critic's words as you listen to the list and see which questions really resonate for the deeper truths that lie between and beneath the criticism.
If you find a truth that lands for you,
Stop reading or listening and let it sink in.
See if this offers you a different way to hear your inner judge.
If nothing here really rings true for you,
Does the list inspire you to come up with your own questions about the feelings and needs of the critic,
Following your own body's patterns of tension and relaxation?
For now,
Stay with offering resonance to the critic's voice.
In a moment after we offer resonance to the critic,
We will come to empathy for the part of you that receives your own judgments.
These statements will move from mild to intense on the spectrum of self-criticism.
Critic,
Do you feel discouraged and do you love perfection?
Have you given up hope and do you value accountability?
Are you disappointed and do you wish for fulfillment of promise?
Is there a longing for focus,
Competency and accomplishment?
Critical self,
Do you feel distrustful and do you want dependability and follow through?
Are you impatient and do you long for change and transformation?
Do you feel skeptical and are you wishing for faith and trust?
In a critic,
Are you doubtful and are you wanting reassurance?
Are you irritated and do you ache for precision?
Are you bored and do you want originality and authentic self-expression?
Do you feel dismissive and do you long for competency and mastery?
Are you contemptuous and do you ache for self-control?
Do you feel angry and do you want success?
Does hopelessness consume you and do you need acknowledgement of how exhausting it can be to keep trying and never hit your own mark?
Here are some guesses for the really intense inner critic.
Do you feel enraged and furious and would you like to destroy the world in acknowledgement for the hugeness of your rage?
Are there times when you'd like to obliterate yourself?
Do you long for peace?
Finally and most important,
Is this inner critic despairing and just wanting to contribute?
Do you have any more guesses for what lies beneath the inner critic's pain?
Now,
As promised,
We will shift our focus and find out what happens when we bring our attention to the part of ourselves that is receiving the judgment.
Say the words of self-criticism again aloud and find out what happens in your body when you hear these words of self-criticism.
Do you stop breathing when you receive them?
Whatever sensations you find,
Even if there is a step into blankness or numbness,
See if there is an emotion word that begins to describe what you feel.
And what are the deeper longings and truths that lie below the words?
As you hear the guesses,
Take what works for you and discard the rest.
If you are inspired to,
Come up with your own guesses,
Following your body's patterns of tension and relaxation.
Self,
Have you become very small and ashamed,
Needing support and reassurance?
Are you sad and do you need to know that you are loved just as you are?
Are you feeling confused and do you need understanding?
Are you constantly anxious and do you need relief and hope?
Are you hopeless and longing for acceptance?
Do you feel exhausted and overwhelmed and do you need acknowledgement of the heavy burden of criticism and how hard it has been to carry this load for so many years?
Do you feel bewildered and do you long for clarity?
Are you scared and do you need protection and room to breathe?
Are you despairing and panicked and do you need some solid ground to stand on?
Have you shut down in order to survive the hopelessness of never being enough?
Are you tired of trying and do you need ease?
Are you feeling distrustful and do you need hope for transformation and change?
Are you impatient with being criticized?
Do you long for acceptance and support?
Do you feel irritated at being judged and would you like respect?
Are you lonely,
Needing belonging and love?
Now notice what has happened for both parts of you in being acknowledged for their experience.
Has anything in your body changed?
As you come back to your breathing,
Bring your resonating self-witnesses perspective up above you so that you are looking down on yourself from the ceiling or the sky.
If you change the point of view that you are using to look at yourself,
Does it help you shift your usual judgments?
Can you see yourself with warmth and acceptance?
Can you acknowledge your own accomplishments and burdens with compassion?
Allow yourself to return to the gentle and warm holding of your attention with the shape of your breath.
If you have scared or alarmed yourself by letting the inner critic have a voice in the meditation,
Offer some empathy to the trembling,
Vulnerable or angry part of you that reacted to the intrusion.
This part of you may enjoy a needs guess,
Like are you longing for safe spaces and protection so that it feels good to explore and learn?
Or are you shocked and angry,
Longing for respect and consideration?
Follow your body and notice how it responds to your acknowledgement of its experience.
As you finish this meditation,
Allow yourself to carry with you this translation and interpretation of the voice of your inner critic and what it's like to receive the voice of your inner critic so that you can notice with warmth when it happens during your regular life.
Now return to your breath and the organic shape that it is making in your lungs following the furling and unfurling movement of the air.
Gradually,
Gently,
Whenever you are ready,
Allow yourself to return to gentleness and a relationship with the outer world.
Notice that there is a difference between looking at yourself with hard eyes and evaluating and looking at yourself with soft eyes,
Seeing the interconnectedness between yourself and your community,
Seeing the complexity of your experience,
Your emotions,
Any anniversaries that are happening,
Any lifelong struggles,
And the values that you long to be able to embody.
Notice how the voice of the inner critic may not be as strong when you allow yourself to see the bigger picture of your life.
