Welcome to day four.
How to soothe your inner critic.
Let's start as usual with a centering practice.
Find a still seat.
Bring your attention inward.
Find a connection that feels really sweet and meaningful for you.
Bring one hand softly over your heart center and the other hand on top.
With your attention resting there at your heart space.
Breathe to my count.
Start with a count of six and you can adjust accordingly.
Exhale everything you have.
Inhale 2 3 4 5 6.
Exhale 2 3 4 5 6.
Inhale 2 3 4 5 6.
Exhale 2 3 4 5 6.
Inhale two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six.
Exhale,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six.
Repeat with your own internal count.
And with your inner gaze resting at your heart space,
Repeat after me.
I am here.
I am home.
I am here.
I am home.
I am here.
I am home.
I am here.
I am home.
Great.
In 2022,
I made a huge decision,
A hard decision that would change the trajectory of my life.
I deliberated and vacillated for nine months before the willingness and strength and courage came to take my big leap.
And right there alongside me in the passenger seat,
My ride or die,
The inner critic.
Have you ever wanted to make a change but the hecklers in the balcony of your mind keep you stuck?
They say things like,
You wouldn't look good in that.
You're not smart enough.
You're too loud.
You're too quiet.
What's the point?
You haven't been able to do it before.
What makes you think you can now?
Don't rock the boat.
You don't deserve that.
Nobody cares what you have to say.
Sound familiar?
And let's not forget the second arrow that we throw by judging or criticizing the fact that we have this inner critic renting space in our head.
That's often the more harmful part.
But let's see if,
Just for today,
We can set those judgments and criticisms aside and take an objective look.
Did you know that there are seven types of inner critic?
As I list them off,
Listen for yours.
There's the conformist that says,
What will they think?
Or you'll look like a fool.
The taskmaster that says,
You're lazy.
You'll never get it done in time.
The Destroyer says,
You're worthless.
It would be better if you weren't here anymore.
The Underminer.
There's no point.
Why try when you'll fail anyway?
The controller.
How dare you?
Shame on you.
The perfectionist.
Try harder.
Don't mess up.
And the guilt tripper.
You're a bad person.
You don't deserve it.
Did you identify with one?
Perhaps more than one?
As you bring your critic to the light,
Notice what kind of attitude do you have towards it?
Do you want to fight it?
Do you speak ill about it?
Are you harsh towards it?
Do you want it to just get away as quickly as possible?
What would you say to your inner critic right now?
So here's the thing.
The inner critic came to life a long time ago in an effort to protect you.
Now you might be thinking,
What?
That doesn't make sense.
But hear me out.
Here's a personal example.
As a child,
I got praise and attention by being a straight-A student.
And every time I did good in school,
That reinforced my worthiness.
When I performed well,
I was rewarded.
So my perfectionist still reminds me to be the best and not make mistakes.
Of course,
As an adult,
This can become counterproductive because perfectionism causes me all kinds of unnecessary suffering.
But the inner critic isn't out to harm.
And fighting with it,
Calling it names,
Telling it to shut up,
Speaking ill about it,
Reinforces the fight pattern.
So today I'll guide you through a breath practice that counters the inclination to fight.
It's called the befriending breath.
Befriending yourself in any circumstance is a powerful antidote to the habit of fighting with yourself.
To warmly welcome your thoughts and feelings softens your nervous system,
Quiets your mind,
And relaxes your body.
Use this pranayama,
This breath practice,
To counter the inclination to fight with the inner critic.
You'll start lying down.
Preferably on the ground on the earth or on the floor in your home or office.
You could lie in your bed also.
Wherever you choose,
Lie down on your back with your knees bent.
Place your hands softly on your belly.
Welcome your chest to soften.
And welcome your breathing to relax into your belly.
To welcome something to occur is to release any resistance that would block the invitation for your body to respond.
Notice any arising sensation or thought.
As you inhale,
Extend a warm invitation to what is arising in your body or your mind.
Remember,
Welcome here.
This too is welcome here.
As you exhale,
Further soften your chest and relax your belly.
Welcoming what is occurring for you into an inner space of warm acceptance.
Continue breathing just like this.
Inhaling a warm invitation to whatever is arising in your body or your mind.
You can use the phrase,
Welcome here.
And exhale to further soften.
Welcome here.
With every exhale.
Imagine a deep inner softening.
Almost like a melting sensation.
Warmth and acceptance.
This too.
Is welcome here.
And now bring your hands to softly rest over your heart space.
Inhale into your hands,
Extending a warm invitation.
Whatever is present,
Feelings or thoughts.
Welcome here.
And as you exhale,
Sense a warmth from deep inside like a melting,
A softening.
Into the moment.
Warmth and acceptance.
Welcome here.
The bottom of your next exhale.
Reach your arms overhead behind you and take a big full body stretch.
Inhale,
Inhale,
Inhale,
And exhale,
Release.
Roll over to one side.
And mindfully make your way up to a seated position.
Bring your palms together in front of your forehead.
May your thoughts be peaceful.
And to your lips,
May your words be kind to yourself and to the inner critic.
Into your heart.
May your heart feel like a safe,
Warm,
Welcoming space.
Tomorrow we'll explore how to detach from limiting beliefs.
Bye for now.