Last time you saw me,
We looked at blessing number 26 on regularly listening to dharma teachings.
With the dharma talk today,
We'll continue in our series on Enlightened Living to the first blessing in the instilling oneself with higher virtues subsection,
That is,
Number 27 on patience.
Having acquired the basic virtues for the mind in group 7,
Culminating in regular listening to the dharma,
Which was blessing 26,
To cultivate oneself further on the Buddhist path of progress,
It's necessary to instill oneself with the higher virtues such as patience,
Openness to criticism,
Seeing the sight of a true monk,
And regular discussion of the dharma.
There's a major distinction between the basic virtues described in group 7 and the higher virtues described in group 8.
The basic virtues of group 7 are concerned with making ourselves receptive to what we hear during a dharma talk,
And this is the major purpose of the virtues of respect,
Humility,
And gratitude.
However,
The objective of group 8 is more demanding.
Even after the explanation of various sorts of dharma in group 7,
We may still not understand them until we see them exemplified.
We might be able to understand how to keep the precepts from a dharma talk,
But we might not be able to comprehend how they can bring happiness until in group 8 we come across the serene countenance of a monk expert in keeping the precepts.
This is why the higher virtues of group 8 are more demanding because they are interactive virtues,
Especially patience and openness to criticism,
Which imbue us with readiness so that when we eventually do meet up with a monk,
Any discussion of the dharma we have will be fruitful.
Without these two interactive virtues,
If the monk should attempt to point out a profound truth which conflicts with our worldview,
Or if too much is demanded of us,
Instead of improving ourselves,
We might flounce away in a huff because our capacity for patience and openness to criticism is still insufficient.
So this is how patience fits in with the interactive virtues of spiritual cultivation in group 8 of the blessings.
But so as not to get ahead of ourselves,
At a more basic level,
Patience means keeping our cool in the face of daily hassles.
It might be when your daughter takes forever to put on her shoes.
It might be when the person in front of you in the drive-thru is apparently ordering everything on the venue.
It might be when as a deadline approaches,
Your work computer suddenly chooses to do a software update,
Or the copier has just jammed.
It might be when you're stuck in line at the post office,
Or when a co-worker has missed a deadline for that project you're working on together.
It might be when your two-year-old is throwing a temper tantrum again.
There are situations that try even the most patience amongst us.
Patience is what you need when life's small and large annoyances make you feel like having a meltdown.
We may vary from person to person when it comes to how much patience we can naturally bring to any given situation.
But since you know the things that cause these annoyances aren't just going to go away,
Then maybe it's time to cultivate a little more patience on our receiving end.
Patience draws our attention to the pitfalls of instant gratification.
If you feel like you're becoming less patient in recent years,
You're not alone.
Cultural shifts,
Particularly when it comes to technology,
Have primed us to expect immediate gratification.
When we want to read a particular book,
Listen to a certain tune,
Or watch a popular TV show,
Most of the time those things are only a few clicks away.
An evening's dinner or a week's groceries can appear on our doorstep in a flash.
So many things are available to us instantly.
It's increasingly common that we get things delivered to us quickly.
We all want instant gratification and want things without waiting.
We expect packages to be delivered on the same day.
We expect immediate results at the gym.
We have food delivered to us pre-sliced so that we can get a meal cooked ten minutes faster.
We even have a book read to us or summarised for us so that we don't have to read them ourselves.
And that's bad news when it comes to our ability to wait patiently.
Our expectations increase in reverse proportion to our patience levels.
A person's level of patience generally depends on their personality,
Their personal history and the situation.
Personality plays some role in explaining why some of us tend to respond more calmly to life's delays and setbacks than others.
Studies have shown,
For example,
That people who are more conscientious,
Agreeable and open to new experience tend to have more patience,
And people who have fewer of those traits tend to be more prone to impatience.
But these factors are definitely only part of the story.
The habits we develop,
Ability to regulate emotions and our expectations in a given situation all affect our capacity to respond with patience,
As do situational variables like whether we're overtired,
Under the weather,
Hungry,
Stressed or even overheated.
We could all use a little more patience,
Especially in our fast-paced world.
So maybe it's time to slow down and practice a little more patience.
And since anger is not really mentioned or dealt with specifically in the 38 blessings,
Maybe this blessing,
27,
Is the time to learn how to deal with it.
Even research tells us impatience doesn't seem to be productive in any scenario.
Impatience in a person has been linked with that person's inability to handle stressors and practice self-control.
In a 2016 study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America,
Showed that impatient behaviour was actually linked to people having shorter telomeres,
Which in lay parlance,
Is a part of our DNA that influences how our cells age,
Suggesting that being more impatient might actually speed up the ageing process in our bodies.
Research has also linked impatience with loneliness,
Higher incidence of depressive symptoms,
And negative emotions.
On the contrary,
Being a person who is more patient has been linked with positive things like life satisfaction,
Self-esteem,
Having self-control,
And even being better able to pursue and accomplish goals.
When a person is patient,
They are calmer and therefore better able to keep persisting when it's difficult and avoid falling prey to goal disengagement.
You're better able to know when to act and when to conserve your energy.
Further benefits of patience,
Recognised particularly by Buddhists,
Include overcoming obstacles,
Being a foundation for other virtues,
Helping us apply virtues,
And as a pathway to wisdom.
To deal with each in turn,
The first benefit of patience to do with overcoming obstacles is that it helps us not to backslide in the acquisition of higher virtues.
Patience helps us to be prepared to overcome any possible resistance we meet,
Especially conflicts and temptations,
In order to reach towards more subtle character qualities.
In fact,
If we are patient,
We may start to regard obstacles as a challenge instead of meeting them with trepidation and in time we can even come to relish them as grist to the mill of spiritual cultivation.
The second benefit of patience is as a foundation to every other virtue we hope to acquire.
Patience is one of the most important qualities of mind we can possess since it allows us to overcome the temptation to backslide or become dejected from our endeavours.
So you could say that our every success,
Both in spiritual and worldly ways,
Is a monument to our staying power.
Thirdly,
Patience helps us to apply the virtues we have acquired.
No matter what task we undertake,
Our success relies not only on our level of virtues,
But also our patience to apply our character qualities to their full extent.
Lastly,
Patience is seen as a pathway toward wisdom.
The Buddha praised patience as a virtue second only to wisdom.
The meditation we practice as part of our lives gives rise to the wisdom that in turn will allow us to identify and overcome the impurities in our mind.
But you could never attain that wisdom without a foundation of patience.
The patience in patience continuum is therefore a good indicator of how we are doing in cultivating our mind.
The root meaning of the Pali word for patience is kanti,
Literally meaning maintaining one's normal state of goodness or productivity,
A steadfastness equally unshaken by tempting or unpleasant obstacles.
The characteristics,
Or perhaps purpose,
Of authentic patience is being able to put up with things,
Not lashing out in cruelty,
Not inflicting sorrow,
While maintaining a joyousness of mind the whole of the time.
To look at each characteristic in turn,
The first characteristic of patience is the ability to put up with things.
If someone insults you,
Reprimands you for something that's not true,
Or generally tries to provoke you,
You don't take the bait,
Even if they're trying to push your buttons.
Patience means continuing to do all the good things you normally do,
With restraint of body,
Speech,
And mind.
It applies especially when someone has done you a favor in the past but later does something hurtful.
Patience may mean continuing to treat them well in spite of their slip-up.
Supposing you realize you have some ingrained prejudices,
By patience you would learn to keep your mouth shut and not allow your prejudices to express themselves in your speech and actions,
While continuing to work them out of your system until no trace remains of them,
Even in your private thoughts.
The second characteristic of patience is the ability to avoid lashing out in cruelty.
In the practice of patience,
We need to be able to keep our temper under control,
Rather than getting angry,
Violent,
Or threatening.
Those who lose their temper easily are obviously lacking in patience.
There's a proverb the Buddha gave in response to the anger of Akhosaka Paratthavacha in the Samyutta Nikaya,
And I had to double-check this because the most recent English translation of that part of the Tipitaka has glossed over some of the fairly important issues.
The Thai Tipitaka,
Which has hundreds of years of commentarial rigor,
Translates the proverb as,
Those angry in response to the angry provocation of others are the worst of the two.
Those who don't respond angrily to angry provocation have won the battle which is hard indeed to win.
However,
I had to double-check this because the Bhikkhu Bodhi translation just says,
Being angry back makes things worse for yourself.
So,
Without wishing to inflict cruelty,
If I might be permitted a quick side-swipe,
Which I would consider my duty as someone professionally involved with the accurate representation of the Buddhist teachings,
If your study of Buddhism is completely reliant on translations in your own language,
Be prepared to miss out on huge and possibly important chunks of meaning from the Buddhist scriptures.
But,
To come back to our topic today,
At a more subtle level,
Avoiding cruelty even means avoiding allowing others to irritate you,
Whether it be provocative people or working in hot weather.
Irritation would be a sign that your level of patience is still lacking,
Not to speak of obsessing about getting your own back on others who have hurt you in the past.
Third characteristic of patience is the ability to avoid inflicting sorrow on others.
In other words,
Even though the hurt we bring may not be physical,
We still need to avoid behaviours that bring tears,
Suffering or mental hurt to others because of any impatience that we might have for them.
The fourth and final characteristic of patience is the ability to maintain joyousness of mind the whole of the time.
We should regard it as our goal never to lose touch with our sense of contentment.
Instead of blaming the weather,
Fate or the economy,
We need to try to do the best we can with what we have,
Maintaining our mind at one or two degrees of remove in order to keep our mood buoyant.
We need to at least attempt to look on the bright side where possible,
Instead of grinding our teeth whenever we have bad luck thinking,
Why is it always me or why do I never get lucky like other people?
In addition to all these,
Patience also means focusing on your own business,
Especially your own personal cultivation and progress,
Instead of nosing into other people's business that doesn't concern you.
In other words,
You might need to have the patience to keep the precepts even if others laugh at you,
And you might need to soldier on in your meditation patiently even if you haven't seen any significant rewards for your efforts.
Of course,
There are situations in life when it's not good to be overly patient,
Especially if it involves being patient in inverted commas in a checked out,
Spiritless way,
Like standing by in the face of extreme injustice.
In such cases,
Being overly passive is not a great way to be.
Some may be familiar with the effigies of three monkeys,
Often seen in Asia,
One monkey with its hands over its eyes,
The second with its hands over its ears,
And a third with its hand over its mouth.
This is a symbol of the ancient proverb advocating patience in the words,
See no evil,
Hear no evil,
Speak no evil.
Even though this proverb is quite well known,
The meaning of the three monkeys has often been twisted by those who misunderstand patience.
They say,
Even if you see unscrupulous behaviour,
Then turn a blind eye.
Even if you hear slander,
Pretend you haven't heard.
Even if you know something fishy is going on,
Keep your mouth shut.
For this reason,
Various unscrupulous actions,
Such as corruption,
Continue unabated as a result of the wrong sort of restraint by those who witness it.
By the same principle,
Supposing a child is too lazy to study or help around the house,
If their parent reprimands them and they remain unmoved and indifferent,
Is that patience?
You could say the child is maintaining their normal conduct in the face of unpleasant stimuli,
But it is not the cultivation of patience.
In this case,
It would be better referred to as stubbornness or ignoring advice.
Supposing someone is so poor that they are about to starve but,
Instead of going out and looking for a job,
They put up with the situation,
Calling it patience.
In fact,
They could show a lot more patience by showing the initiative to ameliorate their situation.
Patience,
As it is truly understood,
Should be a saving grace that helps us extricate ourselves from complacency,
Delinquency,
Or debt.
The important characteristic of patience is that it should be founded on the basis of a radiant mind and not a clouded one.
True patience ought to be the patience to extract oneself from and avoid all unwholesome states,
To persevere in the cultivation of wholesome deeds,
And maintain one's mind pure and radiant,
Not allowing it to become clouded.
In a 2012 article in the Journal of Positive Psychology,
Research characterized three scenarios that would require someone to respond either patiently or impatiently,
And Buddhism goes one step further to list at least four categories,
Adding patience in the face of temptation at the end.
Just because you tend to be patient in one category of situations,
Doesn't mean that you're going to be patient in all.
For example,
Just because you're the type of person that can patiently listen to your friend's relationship problems,
Doesn't mean that you're the type of person who isn't going to get frustrated by an unusually long line at the post office.
And according to Buddhism,
They ought to be regarded not just as different sorts of patience,
But also sequential levels of mastery in the acquisition of patience.
So here we go.
Buddhism describes patience on at least four different levels.
Patience in the face of life's hassles,
Patience in the face of life's hardships,
Patience in the face of interpersonal conflict,
And patience in the face of temptation.
To deal with each of these in turn,
The first level of patience would be the sword you bring to bear in the face of daily hassles,
Which might mean impulse control in the face of traffic jams,
Flight delays,
Messy spills,
Tangled necklaces,
Or being put on hold with canned music by a cool waiting system.
It might mean endurance of hardships caused by the environment around us such as climate or weather extremes.
The second level of patience,
Which is a little bit more advanced,
Is patience in the face of life's hardships.
For example,
A chronic sickness or disability that you'll have to deal with in the long term.
Everyone has to endure physical feelings to a greater or lesser extent.
All you need to do is sit without moving for a few minutes and already you'll start to get itch and pains.
Although the instinctive thing would be to shift position,
Ironically people can sit without complaint around a gambling table or a movie screen all night without complaint.
Strangely,
When it comes to sitting for meditation for a few minutes,
The amount of patience we need seems grueling,
But only because you lack patience in the face of life's hardships.
The category of patience is especially important if we have physical health problems.
It teaches us to avoid reveling in or exaggerating our suffering or else we might make it twice as bad as it needs to be.
Some people appear rugged in inclement weather and cool in the face of hassles,
But they faint at the sight of their own blood,
Which means that patience towards life's hardships is more challenging than patience in the face of life's hassles.
The motto of doctors in triage used to be,
Give priority to the quiet patients rather than the vocal,
Noisy ones,
Because for the patients with no strength left to cry out,
You have no idea how much longer they will live.
The third level of patience is the sort we bring to bear in the face of interpersonal conflicts such as emotional struggles with a spouse,
Friend,
Child or parent.
It can also be regarded as patience in the face of mental suffering.
It is the sort of patience where we come face to face with the anger,
Discontent and denial implied by insulting words,
Unpleasant treatment or manners,
Pressure by our manager,
Insubordination by our juniors and various sorts of injustice in society.
Since the people gathered in a society are by nature diverse in disposition,
It's no surprise that few come up entirely to our high standards and expectations.
The moment you start to develop the social dimension of your life,
If you want to get along with other people,
You need to deploy plenty of this sort of patience to give others room for maneuver,
Because it can be guaranteed that the majority of people just love to please themselves without taking any notice of other people's feelings.
The more people live in a community together,
The more occasions there will be for conflict.
People have different habits,
Needs and backgrounds and if they don't have the capacity to be tolerant of each other's differences,
Then conflicts will soon break out.
Even if you possess all the forms of patience already discussed,
But you lack patience in the face of conflict,
You will fail at any sort of teamwork.
Think about a married couple having a fight.
The patient response would be to remain calm,
Hear each other out and talk the problems through to a solution that works for both.
The impatient response can be either getting angry,
Yelling or lashing out without due thought.
But impatience might also show up in a different form if partners ignore one another or disengage from their relationship and that might be just as problematic.
The fourth and highest level of patience for today anyway is patience in the face of temptation.
This means patience to avoid succumbing to attractive or destructive things,
Which maybe you would like to do,
But which are destructive.
For example,
Touring nightclubs,
Gambling,
Addictive drugs,
Bribery,
Corruption,
Promiscuity or bragging.
Patience on this level would mean pushing back against the things that distract us from intentional living that we learned about in Blessing 21.
For most of these things,
Common sense would teach us to treat any of these weapons of mass delusion with suspicion.
However,
As soon as you have had your first taste,
Your capacity to refuse is significantly compromised,
Whether it be games of poker,
Class A drugs or having your silent abort.
The sort of patience that you need to overcome this sort of temptation is even more difficult to master than patience in the face of interpersonal conflict.
Most regular meditators will no longer flinch if anyone comes up and insults them.
For them,
It's not much different from hearing a dog barking.
However,
Even seasoned meditators might be taken in by a few words of flirtatious flattery from a spotty youth.
And this is why there is a traditional Thai saying that not to be angry when insulted is hard enough,
But not to be elated by flattery is harder still.
The main message of Blessing 27 is that no matter how hard the obstacle with patience on all four levels,
We will be able to overcome them.
So we have time for a quick story about patience.
It concerns a monk from the time of the Buddha called Puna who had travelled from the south of India,
A city called Sunaparanta,
To meet the Buddha in the north.
At that time,
The south of India was less civilised than the rest of the country.
There were reputed to be cannibals living in the forest and all the inhabitants had a reputation for their cruelty to strangers.
Puna had formerly been a merchant travelling in the north of India,
But had the chance to listen to the teaching of the Buddha and was so inspired that he asked to ordain.
He tried his best in meditation,
But the foreign climate and the environment was not amenable to his practice,
And he could make no progress.
One day he came to take his leave of the Buddha in order to return to his home country and to try meditating there instead.
The Buddha disagreed with his idea reminding him,
Have you forgotten the cruelty of the people in your homeland?
Will you be able to tolerate the people there?
Puna replied,
I hope so.
The Buddha asked,
What will you do if they insult you?
He said,
I will consider that being insulted is better than their beating me with their hands.
And what if they beat you?
I will consider that being beaten is better than their throwing clods of earth,
Sticks and stones at me.
And what if they stone you?
I will consider that being stoned is better than their stabbing me with spears and knives.
And what if they stab you with spears and knives?
I will thank them because some people who want to die have to expend considerable effort looking for effective means to take their own lives.
Hearing his answer,
The Buddha was satisfied and permitted Puna to make the journey.
And before long,
Meditating in favorable surroundings,
Puna was able to attain Arahantship and make an important contribution to spreading Buddhism in those wild southern lands.
So to come back to today's topic of patience,
If we are planning to raise our patience threshold,
There are generally two opportunities where we can make a difference.
Prevention of impatience before it happens,
And de-escalating impatience that has already started to arise in the mind.
And as you may have heard many times before,
Prevention is generally better than cure.
So to look first at tips for prevention of impatience before it even happens,
It is important to underline that you can get better at being patient.
If you recognize that you have a tendency to get irritable,
As long as you want to change,
It is possible to change your pattern of responses.
But you are going to need to practice.
Contrary to what you might believe,
Patience isn't solely the domain of kindergarten teachers and saints.
It's a skill that everyone can develop and strengthen.
Some people have compared acquiring patience to training in athleticism or dance.
Some people are naturally better at it than others,
But everyone can improve with practice,
No matter what baseline you start from.
The same is the case with patience.
With practice,
You can get better at responding patiently.
What's important to remember is that life is full of potential annoyances which are beyond your control.
But what you can control is your response.
So how can you strengthen your patience muscles?
The first step might be just to remind yourself up front,
But it won't be much fun at first.
If you're going to grow patience,
It's going to come from doing slightly uncomfortable things.
There are around 5 tips for preventing impatience arising,
Even before it gets a look in.
So the first way to avoid impatience is to identify patterns in your triggers.
Recognize when you're starting to feel heated and identify what emotion is at the heart of that response.
Are you angry that you can't get home faster?
Are you sad or feeling rejected because of a chip on your shoulder?
Are you anxious that you're not going to make it to your appointment on time?
There may be a pattern in the things that trigger your impatience.
Also,
Because people have several tasks going on simultaneously in their head,
They jump from one thought to another without taking the time to complete their thinking first.
Our life feels constantly frustrated by interruption as we try to multitask,
Leaving us with a lack of space or clarity.
It's better to become more mindful of our thoughts,
Dealing instead with one thought at a time to help slow us down and remove the elements that stress us out.
The second way to avoid impatience,
Even before it happens,
Is to reframe how we think about the situation.
Put yourself in other people's shoes for a change or try not to assume everything is about you.
In other words,
Avoiding taking everything personally.
For example,
You might realize your co-worker isn't purposely trying to miss their deadlines.
They just have a lot on their plate.
That cash register didn't break so that your grocery checkout would take longer and the train wasn't packed this morning just to prevent you getting a seat.
The third way to avoid impatience,
Even before it happens,
Is artificially to build tolerance for being a little bit uncomfortable.
In other words,
Making yourself wait.
Let other people go ahead of you in the line or in traffic.
Resist the urge to scratch an itch.
Don't act on every impulse to check your phone.
A study published in Psychological Science showed that waiting for things actually makes us happier in the long run.
You might start with something small like waiting a few extra minutes to drink that milkshake and then move on to something slightly more challenging.
Gradually,
You will begin to gain more patience as time goes on.
The fourth way to avoid impatience,
Even before it happens,
Is to stop doing things that aren't important.
We all have things in our lives that take time away from what is important.
One way of removing stress from our lives is to stop doing those things.
Take a few minutes to evaluate your week.
Look at your schedule from the time you wake up in the morning to the time you go to sleep.
Remove and skip two or three time-consuming things that you do that aren't that important.
It's time to learn to say no to things that cause stress and make us impatient.
For example,
I learn languages daily on a cell phone app,
But recently I lowered my stress levels by opting out of the leaderboard that forced me to compete against other learners for top totals every week.
I still learn the languages,
But I do so now at my own pace.
The fifth and final way to avoid impatience,
Even before it happens,
Is to think with your purpose in mind.
Don't lose touch with the big picture of your life.
Sure,
It's irritating that yet another job interview didn't land you a job at that new startup,
But maybe working in a business that doesn't appreciate you wouldn't have been a great idea in the long term anyway.
It'd be great if your toddler wouldn't protest about vegetables,
But in the long term a habit of balanced diet will be better for your family's health.
Try to remember why putting up with whatever delay or frustration you're facing will ultimately help you to get to where you want to go.
For additional tips for de-escalating impatience that has already started to arise in the mind,
Start with accepting your current circumstances.
This may mean being stuck in traffic or stuck in a job you hate,
But for now it's okay just to let it feel broken.
It doesn't mean in the long term that you shouldn't look for opportunities to change things if you need to,
It only means accepting your experience in the moment for exactly what it is,
Even if it's unpleasant.
It doesn't matter whether it's a work project that's gone off the rails,
A relationship problem,
Or an appliance in your home that is literally broken.
If you can resist the urge to assume you need to immediately fix everything,
It will stop the impatience from building further.
The second way to deal with impatience when you're feeling rushed is to consciously slow down.
You don't have to feel like a hamster on a wheel the whole of the time.
Know that you can choose slow.
Western culture tends to value speed,
But there is also value to be had in doing things slowly and methodically.
The third way to deal with impatience when it starts to arise in the mind is to be more playful.
If you reconnect with your inner child,
Perhaps by singing around the house,
Being silly,
Or laughing at potential triggers,
It will help you to take yourself less seriously.
The fourth and final way to deal with impatience when it starts to arise in the mind is to try to be a better listener.
Listen more carefully to what family members or other conversation partners are saying.
Focus on understanding rather than on formulating your own response.
No one says increasing your patience is going to be easy,
But with daily practice you will find that you're calmer,
Less frazzled,
And more willing to give others the benefit of the doubt,
And maybe even give yourself a break once in a while as well.
It might be useful to remind yourself that patience is not necessarily the opposite of impatience.
It may be helpful to think about patience on a spectrum.
Patience is the ability to be calm in the face of adversity,
Frustration,
Or suffering,
And in any given situation you respond with some amount of patience or lack of it.
You might respond with moderate patience,
A total lack of patience,
Which would generally mean overreacting where you have no ability to be calm,
Or with too much patience where you become stoically disengaged from the situation and have stopped caring.
But wherever you fall on the spectrum,
More awareness of the nature of the beast will help you to be a little bit less stressed and a little bit more happy and mindful,
So isn't it worth trying?
Additional advice on equipping ourselves in those trying situations comes specifically from Buddhist sources with five special approaches which mostly involve having the patience to do the right thing rather than the easy thing,
Even under conditions of extreme duress such as torture,
As was found in the Kanti-Vada-Jataka,
But I won't do more than mention this in passing in case some viewers feel it's disturbing.
So the first piece of Buddhist advice on training oneself in patience is to reflect regularly on one's sense of conscience.
If you bring to mind a sense of shame before doing unscrupulous things,
Even in private,
Or a sense of fear about negative karmic consequences from bad choices,
Impatience will automatically arise,
And if it doesn't do the trick,
Then,
As mentioned in the previous blessing,
We can bolster conscience by falling back on respect and gratitude to help us persevere and do the right thing.
The second piece of Buddhist advice on training oneself in patience is,
Where possible,
To transform negative emotions into positive ones,
In case we are maltreated by relativizing and reminding ourselves that things could be worse,
We can elevate our level of patience in the face of hardship.
Some people only like to meditate when they feel it is easy going for them to do so,
On days when it doesn't feel quite so easy,
Or if it's not going well,
Often they make no attempt to carry on with the practice.
Such people will be unlikely to make progress because they refuse to meditate at exactly the time when they need it the most.
If you sit for meditation and find it's not going well as you'd expect it,
Don't give up,
Think instead,
Today all I can see in my meditation is darkness,
Well,
At least it's better than feeling dizzy.
And if some days you sit for meditation and you feel dizzy,
Think instead,
At least it's better than feeling aches and pains.
And if some days you sit for meditation and feel aches and pains,
Think instead,
At least that's better than having a headache.
And if some days you sit for meditation and have a headache,
Think instead,
At least it's better than having a fever.
And such an attitude is equivalent to a boxer who rolls with the punches to avoid serious injury.
A third piece of Buddhist advice on training oneself in patience is to practice meditation or mindfulness regularly.
Start by being in the present moment and suspending judgement.
You could do this by taking a quiet moment and bringing your mind back to your centre wherever you are.
You might notice what is pulling your mind off centre and then ease your awareness back to its point of balance again.
You might simply relax momentarily and say Samma Arahang under your breath.
Being this,
Take a deep breath and count to ten.
This is the easiest way to help ease any impatient feelings you're experiencing.
And if you are still feeling uncomfortable,
Take a walk to clear your head and it will help you refocus on what's most important.
Similarly,
It's important to set aside some time each day to decompress.
Meditation is the foundation of all sorts of patience.
Patience allows our meditation to deepen because it builds up a buffer between body and mind.
As our meditation deepens,
In turn,
Our ability to be patient will be improved.
So,
To become better at patience,
You need to train yourself in meditation continuously.
Patience and meditation are like complementary virtues.
Patience is like the left hand and meditation like the right.
If the left hand gets dirty,
It can be washed with the right hand.
If the right hand is dirty,
It can be washed with the left hand.
And if both are dirty,
They can be rubbed against one another to get both clean.
Four pieces of Buddhist advice on training oneself in patience is to turn a blind eye to provocation.
A great abbot of Wat Phag Nan taught that sometimes we need to pretend our eyes are blind,
Pretend our ears are deaf,
Be as humble as a doormat,
While keeping our mind as steadfast as the earth itself.
In other words,
Turn a blind eye to people who are trying to provoke you and turn a deaf ear to gossip.
At the same time,
You shouldn't look down on the humblest of work nor be fazed by the rollercoaster of life.
To make use of some metaphors associated with the perfections of patience and equanimity,
Your mind needs to be like the earth,
Which doesn't recoil no matter whether unpleasant or pleasant things are poured on it.
And to remind you of another metaphor associated with the perfection of resolution,
To have the patience not to downsize noble goals,
You should be like a mountain that remains unshaken in the face of the winds from the four directions.
The fifth and final piece of Buddhist advice on training oneself in patience in the face of injustice comes again from the great abbot of Wat Phag Nan.
Sometimes you know that you're being mistreated,
But to lose your temper about it would do nothing to help the situation.
Usually,
Such injustice is the end product of a longer train of contributing factors,
Which are better dealt with calmly by such means as new legislation.
So,
If you find yourself the victim of injustice,
Rather than letting it spoil your day,
You can cultivate patience by not fighting back,
Not running away,
And doing good deeds continuously.
Not fighting back means if they insult you,
Then don't insult them back.
If there is a fight,
Then there's always a winner and a loser.
And even if you are the winner,
You will still cause resentment.
If they put an article of lies about you in the paper,
Don't confirm or deny it,
Or else you will look guilty either way.
Maybe you should just have a private talk with the people you trust to help with damage control.
Don't engage in mudslinging.
Even if you publicize your response in the papers,
They may twist your words to their advantage.
Not running away is advised because whatever the truth,
If you run away,
It looks like an admission of guilt.
Doing good deeds continuously refers to the transformative part of our patience.
Don't give up,
But maintain your quality of mind.
Don't leave weak spots for your opponents to attack further.
The initial accusation is only like the first punch of a boxing match.
Just see how the opponent will open themselves up to further attacks.
Good in the worldly sense means carrying on with business as usual.
As you continue,
Just make sure you do things strictly according to the book,
In case someone tries to find further fault with your practice.
In spiritual ways,
Don't go relying on others,
But rely on the merit you have done.
Merit is really the thing that helps people win or lose.
So,
Just make sure you cultivate generosity,
Self-discipline,
And meditation on a daily basis,
No matter how dire your circumstances.
If you can manage to follow this advice before long,
You will overcome life's hassles without creating a confrontation,
And you will end up winning over public opinion.
If you can follow these five practices,
You will soon be able to cultivate patience and other virtues will follow.
So,
For today,
We will finish off with a scriptural story or two which remain relevant in the era of reputations that are built or destroyed based on our social networks.
Of course,
The Buddha didn't have an online social network,
But patience in the defense of reputation was as relevant then as it is now,
Because during the time he was alive,
He suffered the equivalent of trolling by opposing factions that included competing religions and royalty.
Needless to say,
The Buddha overcame his rival's accusations by deploying patience.
The first incident concerning the Buddha's reputation centered around a woman called Jhinchak Manavikar,
Who supported a competing religious tradition of naked ascetics.
She was also young and attractive,
The local beauty of Savatthi,
And also a competitor for Lady Vesakha who supported Buddhism throughout her life.
Then,
As now,
It was traditional to invite dignitaries to do the opening ceremony for local events.
Buddhists would always invite Lady Vesakha to open their ceremonies.
The naked ascetics would always invite Jhinchak Manavikar to do their openings.
One day,
Because the naked ascetics were losing many followers to the Buddha,
They enlisted the help of Jhinchak Manavikar to create a scandal that would discredit the Buddha.
In the evening,
When the Buddhists were returning from listening to teachings at the temple,
She would pass them in the opposite direction and make it look like she was about to sleep at the Buddha's accommodation.
When they asked where she was going,
She would say,
To offer pleasure to the Buddha.
In the morning,
Jhinchak Manavikar would pass the supporters who came to offer food at the temple.
When they asked where she had been,
She would say,
Bringing pleasure to the Buddha.
She pretended to be on intimate terms with the Buddha,
And eventually she faked pregnancy by wearing a concealed lump of wood over her stomach.
Gossip started amongst some Buddhists who were still unsure of the virtue of their teacher.
Some believed that the Buddha had got Jhinchak Manavikar pregnant.
After nine months,
Many supporters were too scandalized to go to the temple anymore.
One day,
Jhinchak Manavikar stood up in the middle of a sermon and asked,
Are you only interested in teaching others rather than paying attention to our unborn child?
If any visibly pregnant woman in India made such an accusation,
She would instantly be believed.
Many people got up and walked out.
The Buddha continued to deploy patience.
He replied,
Only the two of us know the truth of the situation.
He didn't confirm or deny the accusation,
And he was not angry.
Jhinchak Manavikar didn't know what to do next.
She fidgeted irritably,
And somehow the lump of wood slipped out from under her dress.
In some scriptures,
It's said that some mice had chewed through the strings holding the lump of wood in place.
Immediately,
Everyone knew the truth of the situation.
Have you given birth to a lump of wood,
Some asked,
But others were not so forgiving.
They were going to punish her for libel.
Jhinchak Manavikar ran out of the gate of the temple,
But as soon as she set foot outside,
The earth split open between her feet and swallowed her straight into the lowest level of the unfortunate realms.
Apparently in India,
Even to the present day,
There are still two holes in the ground close to the historic site of Jetavana temple,
One where Jhinchak Manavikar was swallowed up and a second belonging to Devadatta.
Down to the present day,
The soil of those two holes remains infertile to any crops planted on them.
And just to throw in a second example from Magandiya,
Which is an example of the trouble the Buddha experienced from royalty,
When Magandiya became queen because she had a grudge against the Buddha,
She used her authority to undermine the Buddha's reputation.
Wherever the Buddha went,
There were hundreds of hired men waiting to insult him.
They would follow him around,
Wherever he went,
Shouting insults,
Until his secretary,
The Venerable Ananta,
Couldn't stand it anymore.
He suggested to the Buddha that they go to another town.
The Buddha asked Ananta,
But what happens if in the next town there are also people waiting to insult us?
Ananta replied,
We should move on to yet another town.
The Buddha said,
If you think like that,
We will be looking over our shoulder for the rest of our lives.
It would be better to solve the problem at its root.
The roots of our problem are right here in this town.
If we do good deeds,
And nothing but good deeds,
Within seven days the problems will sort themselves out.
After seven days,
Just as the Buddha predicted,
The hired insulters went to get their pay packet.
They were supposed to keep their paymaster's secret,
But when they were paid,
They spent their money on liquor.
They were no longer able to hold their tongues and start to boast where they had got their money from.
When the cat was out of the bag,
The people of that country wanted to start an uprising against Magandhya.
And that was the end of the Buddha's trouble.
So,
This is a second example of the way the Buddha dealt with unpleasant circumstances requiring patience,
Mostly through the practice of equanimity.
So this session I have introduced to you Blessing 27 on Impatience.
For my next session,
We continue the second blessing of the eighth group with the Blessing 28 on Openness to Criticism.
Hopefully as a result of today's session,
You will recognize the roots of impatience in yourself and be inspired to cultivate patience on all four levels I've mentioned.
So,
This is me,
Pratt Nicholas,
Thaniss Roe,
Signing off for today.
So long folks,
And stay safe.
