This meditation is designed for moments when you're feeling nervous that someone is angry or frustrated with you.
It's designed to help you feel more secure and able to relax and trust in your connection.
So,
Beginning with noticing your feet on the ground,
Feeling all the points of contact and pressure,
And noticing the surface supporting your body,
Maybe a chair or meditation cushion.
Taking in a few deep breaths together,
Breathing in deeply through the nose,
And a slow breath out through the mouth,
And again deeply in through the nose,
And a slow breath out through the mouth,
And one last deep breath in,
And one last slow breath out through the mouth.
And then,
Allowing the breath to return to its natural rhythm,
And bringing to mind the person who you're feeling nervous might be angry or upset.
And you may immediately notice thoughts about a story of why they might be upset,
Or what you may worry you've done wrong,
And that's natural.
And you might experiment with letting go of the storyline just for now,
And instead dropping the attention down into the body,
And just notice what's present.
And you may notice tightness in the chest,
Butterflies in the stomach,
Or tension in the shoulders,
Just noticing these sensations without trying to change or fix them.
And you might place one or both hands wherever in your body you're feeling these difficult sensations most strongly.
And just imagine that these feelings might be coming from a young part of you,
Maybe a part that's feeling scared of abandonment or rejection or conflict.
This part might be working hard to notice any signs of disconnection to try to keep you safe and connected.
If it feels okay,
You might take a moment to acknowledge this part of yourself,
Maybe saying something like,
I see you,
I'm here with you,
I know you're just trying to protect me.
You might even thank this part for working so hard.
And then refreshing the attention on that comforting,
Soothing hand,
And the intention to care for this part of yourself.
Notice that the anxious part is here and you,
Your wise,
Observing self,
Are also here.
Notice that you can be present with these feelings while also holding a bigger perspective.
You might imagine you can show this anxious part of you some important information about your relationship.
You might imagine a beautiful golden thread connecting you to your person.
This thread represents your connection.
This thread is woven from all the moments that you've shared together.
Imagine this thread stretching out before you,
Noticing all the different textures and colors woven throughout.
And you might notice bright glowing sections,
Moments of laughter,
Jokes the two of you share,
Moments of peacefulness and joy.
You might notice warm,
Steady sections,
Times they showed up for you,
Quiet moments spent together,
Familiar routines,
And then the rich deep sections.
Maybe times you supported each other through difficulty,
Or navigated hard moments and came out the other side stronger.
Notice that this thread is long and strong and made up of so many moments.
Notice this history and this bigger story.
Now as you breathe in,
Imagine breathing into this golden thread.
You might imagine that with each inhale,
The thread grows brighter,
Stronger.
Breathing in,
The thread glows.
And breathing out,
You might let yourself rest in this connection with all of its history.
And as you continue breathing with this image,
Notice what might begin to shift in the body.
You might notice a slight softening in the chest,
A slight release in the shoulders,
A gentle settling in the lower body.
Whatever you notice is perfect for right now.
Even if you don't yet notice much at all,
You can continue to breathe into this thread,
Allowing your body to absorb this history,
This sense of the bigger story that you are a part of together.
So much bigger than any one moment.
Bigger than any passing emotion or experience.
And you might just rest here for a few more breaths,
Allowing yourself to be held by this thread that you've built together.
Continuing to rest in the strength of your connection,
You might notice what story you've been telling yourself about this moment.
Maybe the story sounds like they're definitely mad at me,
Or it's probably because of what I said earlier,
Or they're pulling away.
Notice how much certainty there can be in these stories.
How real they can feel.
And from this place of resting in the bigger picture of your connection,
You might experiment with releasing the need to know right now exactly what's happening in their inner world.
What might it be like to rest in the reality that you don't know?
Maybe they're tired or distracted.
Maybe they're dealing with something that has nothing to do with you or the relationship.
Your partner may be having any number of experiences and the thread remains.
What would it be like to not need to solve the mystery of their mood in this moment,
To trust in what you've built together?
And either returning the hand to the heart or another area of the body,
Or refreshing that connection if the hand has been there.
You might offer yourself some soothing affirmations.
This moment of uncertainty doesn't define our connection.
I can wait to find out,
Rather than filling in the blanks with fear.
I don't always know what they're feeling or why,
But I do know our history,
Our bond,
And our connection.
I choose to let that be enough for right now.
And then you might take another deep breath into that golden thread.
And one last slow sigh out through the mouth,
Releasing any tension you're ready to release.
And maybe closing with some acknowledgement and thanks to yourself for offering yourself this care and kindness and using this difficult moment as an opportunity for growth.
And when you're ready,
Bringing your attention back to the room around you,
Feeling the ground beneath you,
Maybe giving yourself a stretch,
And opening your eyes when you're ready.
Thank you for meditating with me.
