As humans,
There's always a gap between our current state of our lives and our future desired state.
It's par for the course,
But what I want to know,
What is your reverse gap?
Hey there friends,
Thanks for joining me today and welcome to another edition of the You Are a Conscious Creator podcast.
I'm so deeply grateful that you pressed play today and I hope this message can give you some inspiration and guidance to help you consciously create a life of meaning,
Purpose and one that you love.
And maybe give you something to think about as you go along your path.
So let's go back to the question I asked at the top,
What is your reverse gap?
But before you answer,
I want you to play a game with me for a second.
If you were performing in the Olympics,
Would you be happier if you won the silver medal,
Which is second place,
Or the bronze medal,
Which obviously is third place?
Just think about it.
Logically,
Coming in second does sound better than coming in third.
However,
Studies have repeatedly found that Olympic performers who win the bronze medal are actually happier and experience far more satisfaction than those who win the silver medal.
One study that looked at medal winners from 2000 to 2016 revealed that those who win the silver view their experience as a disappointment because they focus solely on how close they came to taking home the gold,
Coming in first.
They interpret second place as falling short and lament all the things they could have done differently to come in first place.
Whereas the study showed that the bronze medalists felt grateful and elated.
They come away thinking,
Wow,
I came so close to finishing fourth.
I'm so happy to have even won a medal.
This disparity in perspective is what psychologists refer to as counterfactual thinking.
It's the tendency to wonder what could have been,
Thinking about all the what ifs and what would have happened if a series of events somehow played out differently.
This really shows us that just like the Olympic medalists,
We have a tendency to evaluate our achievements based on what might have been,
By either comparing what we accomplish in an upward or downward direction.
So in the case of the athletes that came in second place,
They tend to look upwards by comparing themselves to the first place winners,
Which fuels their dissatisfaction.
But the third place winners compare themselves downwards,
To everyone who placed after them.
So if we go a little deeper here,
This reminds us of something very important,
About the two possible ways we can judge and evaluate the current state of our lives and where we are right now.
That I think gets a bit overlooked.
And that is,
We are always evaluating ourselves in one of two ways.
Either based on our past self,
Or based on our future self.
So let's bring this back full circle to my opening question now.
What is your reverse gap?
You're likely all too familiar with its opposite,
The forward gap,
Which is the period between where we are now and where we want to be in the future.
If you think about it,
So much of our time and attention is focused on what we aspire for in the future.
Like the next job with a higher salary,
Having more customers and clients,
Or furthering our expertise and skills so we can create more opportunities for ourselves.
That smaller pair of jeans that we so desperately want to fit into,
That incredible romantic relationship that we hope enters into our lives.
The list goes on.
This space of always looking towards the future is predominantly where we tend to live 365 days of the year.
And in the process,
We forget what we've already achieved,
Gained,
And accomplished.
Sometimes all the ways we've grown are so blatantly obvious,
Yet we don't acknowledge and bask in them.
This is your reverse gap.
It's your former self.
A year ago,
Three years ago,
Five years ago,
Who were you?
What was your life like?
What were you doing?
Do you feel differently today than you felt then?
I'm sure there's so many amazing opportunities and experiences that have come into your life during this time that it's too many to even count.
There's probably so many ways you've grown,
Evolved,
And become a more stronger,
Wiser person.
We just need to take the time and do the counting,
And acknowledge all the incredible ways that remind us of how far we've truly come.
So if you look ahead to the future and plan for all the new experiences and all the new goals you want to accomplish,
That's amazing.
But make sure every time you look ahead,
You also look back even further,
Longer,
And deeper,
And celebrate what you see.
Honor that reverse gap.
I encourage you,
If you've never done this or haven't done this in a while,
To turn this into a little self-appreciation exercise by looking back over the last several years and writing down all the ways you have grown,
All the fun and exciting moments you experienced,
All the love and connection you shared with others,
All the struggles you overcame,
And of course,
Everything you worked so hard to accomplish.
Let it all sink in.
You might just amaze yourself with just how amazing you truly are.
Here's to your reverse gap.
Here's to the sweet victory of coming in third.
You got this.
Thanks for listening.
Much love.
