The Anti-Secret #6/7: Finding Proper Exchange

Today we're going to get into reason obstacle number six,

Something totally ignored by the secret and most law of attraction programs.

And without it,

You're dead in the water.

What is it?

It is the law of exchange.

Quite simply,

If you do not provide exchange,

Nothing will happen.

And this is not just a good idea,

This is a law of the universe.

One of the problems we have with the typical law of attraction mind power programs is,

Of course,

In the videos you've seen,

Right?

Subconscious blocks,

Attachment to result,

Lack of clarity,

Linear thinking,

Lack of a theta state,

But also lack of exchange.

Quite simply,

You will give less value to something you have not provided exchange for.

As a great example of this law of exchange,

I've been a full-time professional energy healing practitioner and spiritual coach for about 20 years.

And every time I raise my rates,

I start getting better results.

Why is that?

It's simple.

It's the law of exchange.

The more you provide an exchange for something,

The more impactful and meaningful it will be in your life.

Another great example of this,

My late mentor Carl,

He had a program he called Intensive Life Training.

And he designed it to be radically transformational,

To make a huge difference in your life.

And it did for me,

Totally changed my life.

Oh my God,

I tripled my income,

I found love,

It was so amazing.

It's still hard to believe it all these years later.

And he started teaching this in the late 1970s.

And he was so excited to put all this work and time to putting together this state-of-the-art program on consciousness.

And I'll just say,

I have my version today called the Awakening Intensive.

So don't worry,

You didn't miss out because Carl's no longer with us.

But here's what happened.

The first time he taught this program,

He charged $5,

000.

And honestly,

He was disappointed in the results.

The people in the program did not shift or change as much as he had hoped.

There were some changes,

Right?

Everyone got something,

Everyone was happy with it,

But it wasn't what he was looking for.

He didn't see the big changes,

Right?

People were not doubling,

Tripling their income,

Healing from diseases,

Right?

That's what he wanted.

And he went back to the drawing board,

Couldn't really find anything wrong,

Other than maybe it wasn't expensive enough.

So the second time he taught the exact same program,

He charged $10,

000.

And this was around 1980-ish when he first did it,

And he got better results.

The second group did a lot better than the first.

And here's the thing,

It was the same program,

It was the same teachings,

The same exercises,

The same teacher,

They held it in the same room,

Right?

But he got better results.

But it still wasn't what he was looking for.

Some people got big shifts,

Some people got small shifts.

He wanted everyone to have a big shift,

Right?

So he looked at what happened,

Tried to figure out what was wrong,

And the only thing he could come up with is,

He didn't charge enough,

There wasn't enough exchange.

So the third time he taught the program,

He charged $15,

000.

Bingo!

Everybody saw significant shifts in their life.

Everyone took a huge step forward.

And people that paid $15,

000 for it got a lot more than three times the results than those that paid five.

And don't worry about it,

You're not going to pay that much money,

Right?

Carl is no longer with us,

But I'm not here to sell anything today,

I'm here to teach you what you need to know to move forward.

There is a law of exchange.

The less you provide for something,

The less sacrifice,

The less results you're going to get.

We all know this,

Right?

I remember when I was in high school,

Me and my best friend saw an ad for a book in a car magazine,

Because we were really into cars.

It was called,

How to Avoid Speeding Tickets.

And we thought,

Great,

We got to get this book,

Right?

Because we love to drive fast and we didn't want to get speeding tickets.

And I didn't have any money.

So at the time,

I think I was 16 years old and full-time in high school,

Right?

So I started going around my neighborhood,

Washing cars and mowing lawns at a buck a pop,

And I saved up the money to buy this book.

And guess what?

I read it cover to cover three times.

I did everything the book said,

And knock on wood,

I didn't get a speeding ticket for like another 15 years.

It worked for me.

It really made a difference in my life.

However,

Nowadays,

Especially when I'm teaching live rooms,

A lot of my students are very generous and well-meaning,

And they will gift me books,

Which I appreciate,

Right?

That's a wonderful thing.

But here's the thing.

When something is given to you freely,

You do not give it as much value.

So can I say that I have read every book given to me freely,

Cover to cover?

No.

Some of them,

Yes.

I have to admit,

A lot of them,

I never even opened.

Why?

It's not that it's a bad book.

It's just that I did not provide any exchange for that.

It was given to me freely.

And again,

It's nothing personal.

It's nothing about the value of the book,

The person,

The program.

This is a law of the universe.

Many of my students who are just learning to be healers,

To manifest,

To work with energy and such,

A lot of them report,

Oh my gosh,

This is so hard.

Why am I not getting good results?

And I talk to them about it.

And what I hear is,

Oh,

I'm just pestering all my friends and family,

Begging them to please let me work on them,

And they're not getting good results.

And I'm like,

Oh,

Wow,

That sucks.

And they'll go,

Brett,

What am I doing wrong?

Am I in the wrong brainwave?

Am I using the technique wrong?

I'm like,

No,

It's none of those things.

There's no exchange.

So if you're pestering your brother-in-law,

Your roommate,

Your neighbor,

Oh,

Please let me work on you,

Let me heal you,

They're giving it no value.

They actually think they're doing you a favor by letting you work on them,

Right?

So there's no exchange.

If you're new to this,

Please know,

Or if you're experienced as a healer or coach,

You must demand exchange.

If there's no exchange,

The people you work with will not get good results.

I'm not saying it's zero.

You'll have some people that will shift,

Right?

It's worth trying,

But your success rate will be very low.

And it doesn't mean you have to charge them a lot of money,

Right?

It does mean exchange is something of value given in exchange,

Right?

So if you're a professional healer,

Ask for money,

Right?

If you're a professional lawyer,

A professional plumber,

A professional whatever,

You ask for money,

Right?

That's how you support yourself.

That's how you pay your rent and buy groceries,

Right?

If you're not a professional,

Don't ask for money,

But ask for something of value,

Right?

If your roommate wants a healing session,

You say,

Okay,

I'm happy to work with you,

But what are you going to do for me?

And they may say,

Okay,

I'll feed your cat next time you're out of town.

Great.

That counts,

Right?

That's exchange.

But they say,

Hey,

You're going to Las Vegas next week.

Let me give you a ride to the airport.

Awesome.

That's exchange,

Right?

If you're working with a five-year-old and doing healing on them,

Don't ask the child to give you a ride to the airport,

Right?

They can't drive yet.

They probably don't have any money.

Ask the child to draw you a picture,

Right?

Or give you a hug.

That's exchange.

It must be something of value that means something to the person giving it,

Right?

So if you do a healing session on someone and you charge them a penny,

That doesn't count,

Right?

Here's the guideline.

If it's something you wouldn't rush to pick up off the ground,

It doesn't count,

Right?

So if you see a dirty penny on the ground,

Are you going to pick it up?

Probably not,

Unless that's your thing,

Right?

Some people see a penny as a gift from heaven and that's great.

But if you see a half-eaten hot dog thrown away in the trash,

Are you going to eat it?

Probably not,

Right?

So something that is not a value,

That doesn't have meaning,

Doesn't count,

But it doesn't have to be money.

For those of you just getting started with healing,

With manifesting,

With coaching,

Reciprocal sessions are just fine,

Right?

So for people that come to my online intensives,

They're like,

Oh Brent,

How do we do exchange?

It's simple.

When I lead you through the exercise,

You would do it for your partner,

They do it for you,

Right?

If we're doing healings,

You do a healing on your partner,

They do a healing on you.

That's exchange,

Right?

So if you're just learning a reciprocal process of trade is great,

That is exchange.

But just remember,

The more exchange,

The more result,

Right?

The more exchange,

The more result.

If there's no exchange,

There will be no result.

So I want to give a couple more tips about this.

I want you to see for yourself this really works.

And for many of us,

The lack of exchange is the missing piece.

This might be what you need to move forward.

So let's talk about a couple other common errors we can make with exchange and how to avoid them.

One is over-trading.

That especially if you work in self-improvement,

If you do energy healing,

A spiritual coach,

Massage,

Something like that,

Acupuncture,

Whatever it is,

Many people struggling to build a business spend a lot of time trading.

Now,

If you're learning something,

Trading is great.

But if you are a professional,

I'm going to just offer this guideline.

Only trade if it's something you would be looking for otherwise.

That's important.

Why?

It's about exchange,

Right?

Let's say that someone comes to one of my events and wants to trade with me.

And they go,

Hey,

Brent,

You know,

I do random modality X.

Will you trade for me?

I will say no,

Unless that's something I was planning on paying for anyway.

And this is not about judgments,

Right?

It's not that they're good or bad or modality X is good or bad.

No.

It's simply,

Let's say their listed rate is $200 a session.

If I'm not willing to pay that,

Don't trade for it.

Here's why.

If you go,

Hey,

That's not worth $200 to me,

It's no judgment of the person or what they're doing.

But as soon as I think,

Well,

I'm not going to pay,

But I'll trade.

What you've done is you've guaranteed that you cannot get $200 or more value.

That's the problem,

Right?

That's what you've got to watch out for.

Similarly,

Let's say you're talking to a healer or a coach and their rate is say $1,

000 for a package of four sessions or whatever it is,

Right?

I would be very careful negotiating with them.

Here's why.

If you go,

Yeah,

I want to work with you,

But $1,

000 is too much.

I'm only willing to pay $400.

Here's the problem.

Maybe they're worth it,

Maybe they're not,

Right?

But as soon as you say,

This is only worth $400,

It's not worth $1,

000,

You have prevented yourself from getting more than $400 worth of value.

And so in that case,

I wouldn't bother,

Right?

At best,

You're going to get your money's worth.

Screw it.

Don't do it,

Right?

Now,

What is okay,

If they offer it,

They're having a sale and you haven't thought it's not worth this,

Then it's no problem,

Right?

Because as soon as you go,

This isn't worth this,

You've shut off its capacity to give you that value.

Does that make sense?

Right?

I remember when I first started doing cryptocurrency consultations,

I had one of my students say,

Hey Brent,

I'd like to do one.

What's your rate?

And I said,

Okay.

You know,

At the time I was like,

You know,

My typical rate is $400 an hour,

Or there's packages available,

Right?

That are less.

And she said,

Oh,

Well,

You know,

You did a half price sale last year.

Can you give me half price?

And I said,

No.

And she said,

Well,

It's not worth that much to me.

I'm only going to pay half price.

And I cringe because I'm like,

Oh man,

That sucks.

Because the act of the arguing devalued the service.

Because she said,

This is not worth $400 to me.

It's only worth 200.

And that's okay if that's how you see it.

But if that's the case,

Don't do it.

Why?

As soon as you think that,

You've ensured that you cannot get that value out of it.

Right?

Even though it's crazy,

Even though many of the people that do the consultations,

Just an hour,

I can show them some different things about their portfolio and the technologies and trading patterns,

They may make an extra 10,

000,

50,

000,

$100,

000.

But it won't happen if you've devalued it in your mind.

That's what I want everyone to know,

Right?

Once you've devalued something in your mind,

It cannot give you that much value,

No matter how hard you try.

So that's a big mistake we make with exchange.

That's very different than if someone says,

Hey,

My rate is X dollars a session,

And you just pay for it.

What you're saying through that action is,

This will be worth at least X dollars to me.

Not a guarantee,

But at least you're leaving yourself open to a big return.

Right?

And as you know,

Just because you pay a lot for something is not a guarantee it will pay off big,

Right?

Not at all.

But at least it leaves the door open.

Does that make sense?

This is one of the biggest ways.

Because here's the problem.

If you let your poverty consciousness get you benefits,

You're not going to get a lot of money,

Right?

I see this all the time with people that are well-meaning,

But don't understand the law of exchange.

I'm only going to give you 50 because I'm poor.

Here's the problem.

If I give you that session for $50,

Your subconscious goes,

Hey,

Look,

If we're poor,

We get everything at a huge discount.

That's terrible,

Right?

It's not that I don't want to work with you.

It's just leveraging your poverty to get discounts and freebies will keep you stuck.

This is part of the welfare trap,

Right?

Be careful with that.

Because the more benefits you get from being poor,

The harder it's going to be to make money.

And again,

This is not a personal thing.

This is a law of universe.

That the psychological value of something is directly related to how much you give up for it,

Right?

If you pay more for the same book,

The same program than another person,

You will get better results.

Why?

This is the law of exchange.

Things that are freely given usually don't create a lot of value,

Even if they could otherwise,

Right?

There's a great story about how there was a world-class musician with like a $3 million violin who set up and was playing on a subway in Washington,

D.

C.

And no adults were watching them.

The only people watching him play were children.

Why?

All the adults said,

Oh,

It's some guy playing for spare change on the subway,

He must not be good.

They devalued it in their mind because there was no exchange,

Because he was playing for free.

And some of those same people were paying $500 a seat to watch the same guy play the same violin at the local symphony.

Why?

It's exchange,

Right?

That if you get too much for free,

It's going to hold you back.

You got to watch out for that,

Right?

Also know with your services,

Especially if you're a coach,

A healer,

Something like that,

This stuff is better marketed by pull rather than push.

What does that mean?

If you push this on people,

They think they're doing you a favor by working with you.

That kills the exchange,

Right?

So don't pester your roommate to let you do healing on them,

Make them pay for it.

Keep a little bit of a secret,

Right?

Be like,

Hey,

I got this cool secret,

Right?

Imagine if you had a secret crystal ball that gave you lottery numbers,

Would you tell everyone about that?

Heck no,

Right?

You might give hints,

Your roommate might go,

Hey,

Where's all this money coming from?

You're like,

Well,

I got this thing,

I don't want to tell you about it.

Then they're interested,

Right?

That's how it goes.

So market by pull rather than push,

Make them work for it a little bit.

Why?

When you make someone work for it a little bit,

They'll give it more value.

Dating is like this too,

Right?

We all know it pays to play a little hard to get.

Why?

If you're a little hard to get,

You make the other person chase you more,

They give you more value,

Called social proof.

Don't make them work too hard,

You don't want them to give up.

But for many people,

This is the missing piece.

So whatever it is you're doing with law of attraction,

Energy healing,

Not only do you need to provide exchange to other people,

You also need to provide exchange to the universe.

What are you going to be doing for the universe in return for all this money we want,

For all the healings you want?

This is a great part of my first teacher,

Terry.

She created a contract with the universe,

Which is a formal process where you're going to go and lay out exactly what you're going to do for the universe and exactly what the universe is going to do for you,

Right?

So if you want to have 20 clients a week for your coaching business,

Paying X dollars an hour,

Put that on the contract.

But also put on what you're going to do for the universe in exchange for the universe building your business.

And just like with everything,

The more exchange you provide,

The better results you're going to get.

You are doing yourself and everyone around you a huge disfavor by giving yourself and your abilities and talents away too free,

Too easily,

Right?

When I first started my professional healing business,

I thought I was doing people a favor.

I gave away a certain number of sessions per month for just $10.

Most people who signed up for the $10 sessions never showed up.

The first person that showed up for a $10 session took their free session.

Well,

First they arrived late.

Then I gave them the whole session.

And when it was time for them to leave,

They're like,

Oh,

You know,

My son isn't going to pick me up for another three hours.

I'll just wait here in your office.

And I'm like,

No.

And to get rid of them,

Not only did I give them the $10 back,

I had to look up the bus schedule,

Drive them to the bus and give them exact change for the bus.

So the moral of the story is don't be too giving yourself away too freely.

You're not doing anyone a favor.

You're only digging a hole.

The more exchange,

The more value.

Don't take my word for it.

Try it.

See for yourself that this really works.

This might be the one big missing piece.

This might be what you need to really move ahead in your life.

That's all I got to say for today.

I'm Brett Michael Phillips signing off for now.

And I hope to see you again very soon.

Until then,

Please use this,

See that it really works.

Take care and namaste.