The Enemy Lies Within Us - Taking Ultimate Responsibility For Our Lives

Hey guys!

I hope that you guys are doing amazing wherever you are in the world.

My name is Boomshakha.

As always,

I welcome you to my channel.

I'm so grateful that you guys are listening,

Subscribing,

And commenting.

I really appreciate the support.

And of course,

If you guys want to support me further,

You can do that by going to my Patreon site.

The link is in the description below.

And you can give me a dollar a month,

Five dollars a month,

Whatever you guys prefer.

I've added a bunch of tiers to it,

So now you can give me a bunch of different levels of money.

And even if you give me a dollar a month,

I'd appreciate it so much.

So don't feel bad about it.

I've had a bunch of people saying,

I'm so sorry,

I'm only giving a dollar.

I'm like,

It's more than enough for me.

In this video,

I wanted to speak to you guys about the adage or the saying that the enemy is inside of you.

I think this is an adage.

I hear it a lot at least,

Or I've read it a lot,

Or I kind of have this inclination that this is an important saying or quote that I need to pay attention to.

Because me,

Myself,

I spend a lot of time self-sabotaging myself.

Like sabotaging myself,

Or in self-sabotage,

Making sure that I don't get to my goals,

Or doing things that negate all of my effort.

Just killing myself,

Basically,

Trying to do something.

But then also killing myself in the opposite way,

Where I don't allow myself to succeed in different manners.

So a lot of what I think self-sabotage has to do with is the fact that we are our worst enemy.

And I'm not even just speaking about INFJs in general.

If you are listening as an INFJ,

I think a lot of us as INFJs do that.

I think this is a general trend in humanity,

That we have a tendency to basically negate all of our efforts and kill ourselves in the process.

Well,

Kill our efforts in the process,

Or kill our creativity,

Or kill our projects,

Because we're afraid of success,

Maybe we have fear of failure,

Maybe we're afraid of being rejected.

There's a billion different reasons why we do these things.

The reasons don't matter,

Of course.

The main point of it is that we do this.

I'll give you a quick example.

It's a very simple example.

I think all of us do this.

But I notice in my own life where I will be very strict,

Or very good with my diet,

For a week,

Two weeks,

Three weeks,

Even a month at a time.

But then as soon as I imagine that my period is coming up,

Or I make excuses like,

Oh my god,

I'm PMSing,

I need to eat more,

Or I need to have snacks,

Or I need to eat crap,

Or I want bread,

Or I want carbs,

Things like that.

I'm not really,

Really strict in my diet,

Because I know if I'm too strict,

I will want to rebel.

But I'm strict enough that I can see the effects of my body,

And I can feel the energy surges and things like that.

So it's not like I'm really depriving myself.

I'm still having snacks on a regular basis,

Things like that.

But after a few weeks of it,

Or a month of it,

Whatever it might be,

I go into this mode where I'm like,

Alright,

I've been doing this for a month,

Let me just go absolutely insane and eat everything in my fridge,

Everything on this planet,

Everything that I can find,

Eat so much food that my belly starts hurting.

From the overload,

And just kind of go crazy with it.

And so I don't know why I do this,

And I do this every single time.

Not that I'm saying I completely negate all my effort,

But I kind of do.

And so after all of that food that I've eaten over a period of two or three days,

I notice myself and I'm like,

Oh my god,

What am I doing to myself?

And so I've been good,

And I've been feeling good,

And I don't necessarily care about losing weight.

I like the way I look,

But it's about feeling healthy and energetic,

Right?

And so I eat well for that reason.

But then I do all these crazy things,

Like I'll eat two or three pizzas in a day,

Or,

Well,

Not that bad,

But I'll eat a pizza,

Or I'll have pasta,

Which I never have,

Or things like that.

And then I look at myself after,

I'm like,

Yeah,

I haven't changed at all,

My body still looks the same.

But energy-wise,

I'll get up in the morning and I'll be like,

Oh,

I just want to go back to sleep.

Or I'll take a couple of naps during the day because I'm just so low in energy because I've been eating like crap.

And so the main reason for me to share this story is that it's such a typical relatable story.

We do this all the time.

I think everyone does this.

We're on a diet,

Or we're taking care of our food habits,

Or we're taking care of ourselves,

And all of a sudden we'll go into this slump.

And we don't know why we do it,

We just do it.

All of a sudden we'll be like,

No,

I don't want to do it anymore,

Or I'll rebel,

Or something will happen,

Something will trigger us,

And we'll go back to our normal ways of doing things.

Or,

In fact,

We'll go worse.

We'll just kind of go crazy and start doing all these stupid things that we would normally not do.

Basically self-sabotaging,

Right?

And so our worst enemy,

And I know this is true for me,

My worst enemy is in my head.

It's not anywhere outside of me.

I can pretend like my parents were the cause of my life being ruined,

Or my government is the reason my life is in ruins.

My life is not in ruins,

But you know what I'm saying.

I could pretend like it was my partner,

Or my past relationships,

The trauma from it.

I could pretend like it's the Amazon rainforest burning down right now that's the reason for all of my negativity.

Or whatever it is.

We have,

As a human being,

A tendency to blame everyone and everything else.

Now,

INFJs don't do that much.

INFJs blame themselves.

But in general,

I do have this tendency to,

I used to have this tendency to be like,

Alright,

It's their fault,

It's that person's fault,

It's the government's fault,

Blah blah blah.

And so I'm really,

Truly taking responsibility now for everything in my life being my responsibility.

The reason I might not have enough money this month to pay all my bills is because of me.

The reason my clothes are all tearing apart and I'm not taking care of them properly is because of me.

I don't wash them properly,

Or I don't use a gentle cycle,

Or I don't hang them properly,

Things like that.

The reason my house is a mess is because of me,

Not because of my friends' business or anything.

Which they never do.

So I don't have that excuse.

The reason for my diet not succeeding or me not having high energy levels is because of me.

It's not because of anything else.

It's not because Chiang Mai has really good food and so I can blame Chiang Mai for it.

It's not because my mom is a great cook and so she taught us to love food,

It's not her fault,

It's my own fault.

It's my own self-control that is the issue of it.

That's the reason why I'm failing at stuff.

Now I'm not saying everyone is going to be in the same boat.

There are some situations where you had extreme trauma and so a lot of it has to do with the fact that you had extreme trauma in your life.

But the majority of people,

I would say 90%,

99% maybe even.

95% of people,

Their life is their own fault.

The things that are going well are their fault because of them.

And then the things that are going falsely or wrongly are because of them as well.

And so whenever I'm living through my life and I'm looking at my life and I'm trying to figure out how I can fix it or make it better or enhance it in any shape or form,

I always focus on myself.

And I think to myself,

What am I doing wrong?

How is my thinking wrong?

Or how am I sabotaging myself?

Or what am I doing that is negating all my effort?

Because I'll work really hard at something and then I'll do something stupid to completely ruin all of it.

I'll work really hard at writing a bunch of articles but then I'll never submit them.

Or I'll never publish them,

Stupidly enough.

Because whatever it might be,

Fear of rejection,

Fear of success.

Now I don't do that but I used to do that a lot in the past.

I'd write a bunch of articles and then I'd just throw them away because I was like,

Oh they're not good enough.

Why?

Yeah.

So that kind of stuff.

And the main reason I'm talking about this is because a lot of us and a lot of you guys message me.

And I'm not saying anything about you guys in general but you have to look back upon yourself.

And a lot of these messages or emails are like,

Oh this friend of mine did this to me and she ruined my life.

Or my parents,

They're terrible and blah blah blah.

And I understand,

Yes a lot of the reason why we are the way we are is because of our parents,

Because of our childhood.

But you can't keep on blaming them for the rest of your life.

If you have reached the age of 25 or 30,

That's it.

You're done.

You can't blame anyone else for it anymore.

You are an adult now and you have to take back responsibility for yourself,

For your life,

And for everything that happens in it.

Everything that happens in it now as an adult is your responsibility.

So if you're not making enough money to pay all your bills,

It is your responsibility to step up and start making it.

Don't look for handouts,

Don't feel entitled.

It's your responsibility to work hard.

If you want to be a musician and it's not working out,

It's not the world's fault.

It's your own fault.

You didn't do enough work or you haven't been putting yourself out there enough.

Or you haven't been marketing yourself enough.

Or etc.

Etc.

There's a billion different things for it.

Recently I was talking to a friend of mine who wants to be more famous as a musician and or as a singer.

And she has a great voice.

I mean an amazing voice.

Almost as good as Adele I would say.

And so she is brilliant.

But whenever I ask her what is she doing to market herself,

Because that's what you have to do.

You have to market yourself specifically online.

She's like,

Oh well I'm too busy for that.

I have this to do,

I have this job,

I have that job,

This,

That,

Blah blah blah.

But then I do notice that she spends a lot of time on Facebook.

She spends a lot of time online,

On the internet browsing.

She spends a lot of time watching movies.

So really it is her thing.

She is at fault.

She's not spending enough time doing the work that's necessary.

She's saying she wants to be a famous musician or a famous singer,

But she's not doing the work for it.

Now of course it doesn't mean that if she does the work it will actually pay results.

I mean a lot of times it does.

It doesn't necessarily mean she will get exactly what she wants.

Sometimes she'll get something different.

Sometimes something else will happen.

But you have to put in the work.

If you're not putting in the work,

You can't complain that the world is not giving you what you want.

And that is my thing with everything that I do.

I work so hard on these videos,

I work so hard on my life in general.

It's because I know that if I don't put in the work,

I'm not going to get the benefit.

I can cry all I want about it.

I can bitch and moan about it.

I can complain about it.

I can talk about trauma.

I can rant about it.

But all of that stuff is useless unless I'm actually doing the work.

So that is my thing.

You have to do the work and the enemy is inside your head.

That is the person that you have to deal with.

You have to fight against yourself every single day and fight that battle on you.

And be like,

Alright,

I'm not going to procrastinate.

I'm going to do my work.

I'm not going to procrastinate.

I'm going to do my work.

And you have to do this every single day.

I still have to fight my demons every single day.

Because I can just sit on my couch and read manga all day long.

Because that's so easy and fun.

I'd rather do that.

But I have to be like,

No,

You have to do your work.

Because if you don't,

You're not going to get the life that you want,

Shukha.

Or boom,

Right?

And so I always have to be talking to myself and forcing myself or making myself do the work.

Some days it's easy.

Some days it's very hard.

So I always have to be talking to myself and just motivating myself.

And you guys have to do the same.

Because the enemy is inside of us.

It's not anywhere outside.

It is within us.

I hope this makes sense.

I hope that I was able to explain myself to you guys.

Again,

If you want to comment below,

You're more than welcome to.

And if you like these videos,

If you like this one or any other videos I've done,

And if you want to support me further,

You're more than welcome to go to my Patreon site.

The link is in the description below.

And I shall see you guys the next time around.

Bye for now!