Why Are You Trying to Escape Yourself? Where Are You Running To?

Hello everyone!

I hope that you're doing amazing wherever you are in the world.

My name is Boomshakah if you didn't already know.

If it's your first time on my channel I welcome you.

I'm so grateful for your support and hopefully you like my videos.

Hopefully you keep on liking them for a long long long long long time to come.

Maybe until I do them at least.

In this video I wanted to speak to you about a comment someone left recently on one of the videos I did about you carry yourself wherever you go.

I think I did that a week ago or something.

The individual said something like no matter what I do I can't escape myself.

I can't escape my face,

I can't escape my appearance,

My personality,

My life.

I just can't escape myself.

As soon as I read those words I can't escape myself.

I actually got like a shiver running through my body because I've done that for so long myself.

I think throughout my teens and my 20s I try to escape myself.

The basic essence of trying to escape yourself is that you don't like yourself.

You don't like who you are but instead of changing yourself to be someone that you can actually appreciate or be proud of you run away from yourself.

I think this is the same idea of why I did the video about you carry yourself wherever you go because what we do as human beings is that we try to take the lazy route.

I'm not saying that I'm different or anything.

No everyone does it.

It's the way our complex brain works.

It's always looking for the easiest path out there.

The laziest easiest path because it takes a lot of energy for our brains to run.

It takes a lot of energy to be critical thinkers,

To use our mental capacities.

Our brains get tired very easily.

It takes a lot of sugar and in general our brains are kind of built evolutionary wise to conserve energy because you never know when you might need a boost of mental power.

You never know when you might be like oh my god there's something happening I need to plan for it.

In general throughout the day our brains have learned behavior to use as little power as possible,

As little mental capacities as possible.

It's just an evolution thing.

It's nothing that you can get around.

I mean you can with willpower but in general our brains are like alright what's the easiest path here?

What's the laziest route I can take?

It doesn't require a lot of work,

Doesn't require a lot of thinking,

It doesn't require anything really.

I just want to take the easiest path.

When it comes down to the fact that you don't like yourself or you don't like something in your life or you don't like a situation that you're going through,

What your brain is like instead of looking for a solution which is change yourself and how can I change myself?

Well do these things.

It's like alright yeah you know what fight flight or freeze.

Let's just run away from the situation.

Let's just walk away,

Let's run away,

Let's fly away,

Let's just do whatever to get out of the situation so we don't have to deal with it anymore.

You just don't want to deal with it.

I'm just gonna run away.

And sometimes or all the time it's very difficult to run away from the situation.

You might be in a relationship that you're like well but I really want to make this relationship work because I think it's worth it.

But instead our brains like well do you really want to work at it?

Seems like it's gonna be a little bit difficult.

It seems like it's gonna be a lot of work.

Maybe we should just just leave it.

Yeah just and then we just break off and we're like alright you know I'll try again next time around.

Next time around the same thing happens because we haven't solved the paramount internal issue that's causing this problem and so it happens over and over again and instead of noticing the patterns in our life and being like oh right I'm doing this again I need to stop.

We're like well yeah let's just keep on doing it.

It's their problem.

It's all the men in the world women say and all the women in the world that men say.

You know like you were like it's everyone else's fault but not my own.

Of course it's not my fault.

I didn't do anything wrong.

It's their fault and I'm just gonna run away from it.

The same thing obviously happens when we look at ourselves,

At our lives,

At the way we live our lives,

At the way we deal with people,

At the way we deal with situations and you know we look at ourselves we're like hmm I really I'm not liking what I'm seeing here and for the longest time as I said you know I in my teens and 20s I would look at myself I would do an internal assessment and instantaneously I'd have this urge to run away from myself to escape myself because I just did not like what I saw.

It was dreadful,

Horrendous.

I couldn't believe that this is the person that had grown up to be.

I had such huge aspirations and ideals and goals for my life when I was younger and I had grown up to be a completely useless adult and so at that point in time now I would say completely different but at that point in time I would look at myself like oh my god I really I can't I can't I can't stand to look at myself and instead of looking at myself and be like alright so I don't like the fact that I'm impatient so how about I try to do something about it I'd be like I'm impatient but you know other people are causing me to be impatient it's their fault you know it's the world's fault it's my parents fault I was born this way I can't do anything to change it so I'm just gonna whine about it and complain about it and not live the life that I want to live right that I did that for the longest time or I would just try to escape myself and you know it's very easy nowadays I have a very consumeristic escapism culture and so it's very easy you can either use alcohol which is what I used lots and lots of alcohol or you can use drugs which I did not use because I didn't like it or you can use sex which I did use as well or you can use food which I use partly not too much or you can use shopping which I used immensely oh my god I wasted so much money on that oh I could have a millionaire by now well not that much so but like I raised a lot of money on that and so many other things TV I use TV a lot to escape myself and I also did some good things in order to escape myself you know I would go for a long walks by myself without music without anything I'll just go for walks and for like long miles long walks and I was just like what's going on here why I'm well why is my life like this what's going on why and I'd constantly be asking myself this question you know what am I doing wrong why is my life like this why am I like this and sometimes I'd cry and sometimes I'd scream if I was in the middle of nowhere and I would just I wanted to answer I wanted to answer I wanted to know why why is this like this why is my life like that why did I turn out like that you know and I'd cry and cried I'd try to figure it out but mostly you know before I could get to the answer I'd like ah there's no answer to this all right I'm gonna go and try something else I'm gonna drink a bunch of alcohol with my friends or I'm gonna go shopping spend money I don't have my things like that and so obviously as soon as I was close to getting to the answer which is basically change yourself yeah improve yourself work on yourself meditate do yoga and I figure out what's wrong with you and then work on those situations if you're impatient work on your impatience if you're if you have problems of confidence work on that you know all of that was just basically I had all I knew all of the problems that I had as an individual I knew all the things that were not wrong with me but you know that needed improvement and instead of changing them I just blamed everyone else but basically what I had to do was change myself improve myself work on myself and work on my dreams which I didn't do I just try to escape myself and so as I said when I read the comment I was like ah you know flashbacks all of those things that I did in order to escape myself came to my mind and I'm like oh my gosh so as soon as I said I was like all right I need to do a video about this and I'm sure you're sick and tired of me telling you to improve yourself or to learn more about yourself or all of those things but literally those are the essential truths this is the reason why every scripture that you read every guru that you speak to every YouTube video on self-development talks about the same things and it's interesting to me how people are like well yeah I know that already are you doing it are you actually implementing it in your life because it doesn't matter if you know it it's not about knowing it lots of people know it are you actually using it are you actually doing it and so it's really fascinating to me because I'll you know I'll talk about these things to a lot of different people in real life as well which is perhaps why I don't have that many friends they're like oh right away it's boom no I'm just kidding but um maybe they are like that but in any case I you know I talked to people about this and you know I'll be telling them the same thing over and over again basically I always tell everyone yoga meditation yoga meditation yoga meditation and then journaling right and literally those three things are like are the main essence of why I am the way I am and why I love myself the way I am and how I've improved myself and why I live the life an amazing life an ideal life that I would never have imagined that I'd live right so you know I tell people these things now I've heard that already and I'm like okay are you actually meditating every day even half an hour a day no but you know I have other things to do and I was reading this other book and it tells me to do that so I was thinking about doing that and maybe I was watching this other YouTube guy and he was telling me to do this and maybe I was thinking about doing that and so there's a lot of thoughts going on there's a lot of information in flux but they're not actually doing anything with it right and so literally essentially same thing over and over again I'm gonna tell you these videos are basically me saying the same thing over and over again in different ways hopefully just do the work do the work stop talking about it stop thinking about it stop you know wasting your time with it just do it just do your meditation every single day do your journaling every day I've tried to figure out who you are learn about yourself learn about what you want to improve by yourself figure out a few steps how to improve yourself which is basically gonna come back to yoga and meditation or other things obviously but basically those two and then do them do them stop trying to escape yourself because yeah you can do this for the rest of your life but what kind of a life is that oh my god I've lived that life people it is not fun it is not the kind of life where you're like oh you wake up and you're like wow I get to live on another day where I'm escaping myself no that's not how it goes you don't wake up in the morning excited to escape yourself you know energized to escape yourself to run away from the world and from your situations you wake up and you're sad and disappointed in yourself and upset that you can't make the change that you want to make you're upset with yourself because you know you can do better but you're not and so it's not like you you know you don't know what you need to do you know you I know you know you're like oh but I don't know you know like you know you really do know though you need to make some changes in your life stop escaping yourself and start making those changes or escape yourself and realize that that's what your life is gonna be like but it's gonna be very painful extremely painful difficult to live difficult to get up in the morning difficult to go to sleep at night why do you think you get insomnia all the time because you're trying to escape yourself and it's just painful it's extremely painful now up I've already spoken a lot in this video I'm sure a lot of you are like all right I am not listening to this anymore well if you are still listening I appreciate it and if you have questions about this particular subject please comment below and I shall do a follow-up because I love talking about the subject as you can imagine but I also love talking about the subject because it's so important to talk about it's so important to talk about anyways again thank you for watching and I shall see you in the next video bye for now