I Am That - Session 84 - Living Is Life's Only Purpose - 1

Living is life's only purpose.

Chapter 29.

Questioner,

What does it mean to fail in yoga?

Who is a failure in yoga?

Yogabhrastha.

Maharaj,

It is only a question of incompletion.

He who could not complete his yoga for some reason is called failed in yoga.

Such failure is only temporary for there can be no defeat in yoga.

This battle is always won.

It is a battle between the true and the false.

The false has no chance.

Questioner asks,

Who fails?

The person which is the vyakti or the self,

The vyakta?

What does he mean by vyakta?

The witnessing consciousness is the vyakta.

So he is asking who fails?

The person fails or the witness fails?

Maharaj says the question is wrongly put.

There is no question of failure neither in the short run nor in the long.

It is like traveling a long and arduous road in an unknown country.

Of all the innumerable steps there is only the last which brings you to your destination.

Yet,

You will not consider all previous steps as failures.

Each brought you nearer to your goal even when you had to turn back to bypass an obstacle.

In reality,

Each step brings you to your goal because to be always on the move,

Learning,

Discovering,

Unfolding is your eternal destiny.

Living is life's only purpose.

Again highlight this is where you get the name of the chapter which means life has no other purpose.

Don't try to look for any other purpose.

I have to succeed at this.

I have to not fail at this.

I must attain this.

These are all wrong ideas.

Just living is life's only purpose.

Just living,

Just going with the flow.

The self does not identify itself with success or failure.

The very idea of becoming this or that is unthinkable.

Consciousness does not identify with this or that.

Who identifies with this and that?

Means the person.

The person identifies.

I am a mother.

I am a father.

I am a brother.

I am a sister.

I am a professional.

I am a homemaker.

I am a success.

I am a failure.

All these labels are put by the person,

The vyakti.

The vyakta which is the self or the witness consciousness for it there is no identification with success or failure.

Is that very clear?

Yeah so please do not get into that.

Oh I didn't get this.

I didn't get that.

I am not good at samadhi.

No all this failure.

These ideas are wrong.

He's saying you have a flow and in that flow you are just going.

There is nothing like oh just because I had to step back and repeat this or go back and do this it is an obstacle.

No the obstacle is part of your flow.

You get it?

You are just moving.

There is no failure.

There is nothing like failure.

Yeah from the witness standpoint there is nothing like failure.

Is the person there at all?

Does the person even exist?

The person is not.

So it's success and failure ideas are anyway pointless.

They are only waves that arise and fall.

So ignore those ideas.

Oh I'm a failure or this obstacle came and behind all these things.

Discard.

Ignore.

It's pointless.

Very clear?

However your samadhi is going,

It is going per your particular flow.

Allow the flow.

Just surrender to the flow.

Allow it to just take you in the direction it's taking.

I'll read that again.

The self does not identify itself with success or failure.

The very idea of becoming this or that is unthinkable.

The self understands that success and failure are relative and related.

That they are the very warp and beft of life.

Learn from both and go beyond.

If you have not learned,

Repeat.

Simple.

Just because some obstacle has come,

It means it's time to just repeat something.

That's it.

It was not learned properly the first time.

That's it.

It is your flow.

Simply go with it.

Questioner.

What am I to learn?

Maharaj,

To live without self-concern.

That's number one.

To live without self-concern.

And how do you live without self-concern?

He tells you how.

For this you must know your own true being,

Swaroopa,

As indomitable.

Indomitable means that which cannot be defeated.

For this you must know your own true being or swaroopa as indefeatable,

Fearless,

Ever victorious.

How will this help you?

Then a low point in samadhi or not being able to get into samadhi,

Facing an obstacle or having to repeat something.

All this will not bother you then.

Why?

Because you know this is the flow itself.

This is the way it is meant to be.

There is no success and no failure for the witnessing awareness space.

Not even an injury.

Because that is only a sensation.

It has only arisen in me,

The space of awareness and it's a wave that goes and after some time again it arises,

It goes.

It's only an idea of success or failure that arises and goes.

Is the space defeated by the idea of defeat?

Is the space defeated by the idea of fear of repeating something again?

No.

So I'm that witnessing space in which an obstacle has come up because of which I have to repeat something.

There's a low point in samadhi or slow point and it's okay.

It does not affect my true nature.

So if you've been doing your samadhi right,

Your stand would be of the witnessing awareness space and if your stand is of the witnessing awareness space,

Then you don't feel defeated,

You don't feel hurt,

You don't feel sad.

You're very peaceful with however the samadhi is going.

Yes,

But if you go to the body-mind-person level,

You forget your swaroopa,

Then what happens?

Oh this is bad,

That is bad,

It's not going good,

I couldn't sit as long as he or she could sit,

I didn't do a good job,

This person did a better job,

All those things.

All that happens only when you come to the wrong stand.

Correct your stand again.

You've come to the wrong stand.

Yes,

You cannot begin samadhi from this stand.

This is wrong.

If you are stuck here,

Get up,

Walk out,

Take a break,

Again go to your five perception walk,

Come back to that recognition of I am the witness in which there is perception arising,

Falling,

Sensation arising,

Falling,

Thought arising,

Falling,

Feeling arising,

Falling.

Oh this is my correct stand.

This is wrong.

This just comes,

Sometimes goes away,

Comes,

Sometimes goes away.

You become one with everything,

Then come back and sit in samadhi.

So your starting point has to be correct witnessing awareness space.

Otherwise such low points will happen.

You'll go into self-beating,

You'll go into obstacles.

Oh I started thinking about the husband or the wife and I was gone for 20 minutes,

30 minutes.

Oh what am I doing?

Samadhi is not happening,

Blah blah blah blah.

All those things will happen.

Very clear?

So coming to the correct stand is the most important point.

You just begin from the correct stand.

Don't struggle with it too long.

If it's not happening,

Get up.

Anyway you're not doing samadhi.

Get up,

Go again to a five perception walk.

See can you see the four degrees of seeing in each of them.

See if there is any demarcation between seer,

Seeing and seen.

Toucher,

Touching,

Touched.

In hearer,

Hearing,

Heard.

Once that oneness comes,

You've come back to that beautiful space.

Now come back and sit.

Yeah,

Don't sit and struggle with it here.

That is why you have the nature right around here.

So you can do the nature walk,

Again come back.

Very clear?

Yes,

Don't struggle with it in your head unnecessarily.

Get out of it immediately.

Yeah,

So success and failure are ideas of the person.

I have got stuck in an idea that arose in me,

The witnessing awareness space.

I have got stuck in that idea.

Get out of it.

To get out of it,

You have to come to the correct space.

When you come to the correct space,

Check.

Do I,

The space of awareness,

Think that I am successful or unsuccessful?

Is there an idea of defeat here or success here?

Yeah,

When you have nothing,

Just a straight line of equanimity,

You're at the right place.

Again come back and sit.

To live without self-concern.

For this,

You must know your own true being,

Swaroopa,

As indomitable,

Fearless,

Ever victorious.

Once you know with absolute certainty that nothing can trouble you,

But your own imagination,

You come to disregard your desires and fears,

Concepts and ideas,

And live by truth alone.

Yeah,

So disregard any idea that comes up,

Any desire that comes up,

Any fear that comes up.

Completely ignore it.

Disregard it.

And live by the truth alone means?

Yes,

In the witnessing stand.

That is the only truth.

Questioner,

What may be the reason that some people succeed and others fail in yoga?

Is it destiny or character or just accident?

Maharaj says nobody ever fails in yoga.

Please highlight.

If you're listening from the person's standpoint,

You still think again and again that you have failed.

Maharaj is repeating this third time.

Yeah,

In three answers,

Third time he's repeating the same thing.

Nobody ever fails in yoga.

It is all a matter of the rate of progress.

It is slow in the beginning and rapid in the end.

In this world,

Nobody ever fails.

Full stop.

That is the Marathi line.

Basically,

There is nothing like failure.

It's only an idea.

It is all a matter of the rate of progress.

It is slow in the beginning and rapid in the end.

Please mark that.

A lot of you get very antsy when you see that your progress is slow.

You should know what to expect.

Maharaj is highlighting here what you should expect.

What should you expect?

Slow.

I would say very low.

Keep low expectations.

You'll be very peaceful.

Very low.

Yes,

If you get something,

Then it's a bonus.

But if you keep very high expectations,

You'll be disheartened very quickly.

Yeah,

So don't keep very high expectations.

Always begin very low.

Keep it simple.

If it's meant to come to me,

It will happen.

Clear?

Yeah.

So,

It is slow in the beginning and rapid in the end.

When one is fully matured,

Realization is explosive.

Focus on becoming mature rather than eka gimme samadhi,

Eka gimme more samadhi,

Gimme the next samadhi,

Gimme the next.

No,

Pointless.

Don't try to do that.

Attempt to become more mature.

When one is fully matured,

Realization is explosive.

It takes place spontaneously or at the slightest hint.

Yeah,

Mark this for the people who are close to nirvikalpa samadhi.

How will it happen?

It will be sudden.

It will be explosive at maturity.

Yeah,

It is spontaneous.

It will take place on its own.

You cannot hope for it,

Wish for it,

Hanker for it.

It's supposed to happen.

It will suddenly explode.

If you hanker for it,

It will not happen.

So,

Don't.

Just be.

You enjoy the being part of it.

Stop hankering.

Is that very clear?

The hankering prevents it.

Did you notice it?

If you are hankering,

The witness cannot collapse.

If you're looking for something in your samadhi,

It cannot collapse.

The observer also needs to collapse.

If there's constant seeking,

Seeking,

Seeking,

Seeking,

Seeking,

That feverishness does not allow rest to happen.

The meaning of samadhi is to rest,

To relax.

Do you get it?

Yeah,

That is called maturity,

Where there is no more hankering,

Seeking.

Very clear?

So,

It takes place spontaneously or at the slightest hint.

The quick is not better than the slow.

Please highlight.

Beginners especially.

The quick is not better than the slow.

Slow ripening and rapid flowering alternate.

Slow ripening and rapid flowering.

The flowering part will happen rapidly,

But the ripening is slow.

Both are natural and both are right.

Yet,

All this is so in the mind only.

Most important.

It is where?

All in the mind only.

If you're stuck in all this,

Where are you still stuck?

Which state?

The waking state.

You're still stuck in the waking state.

Remember,

If you're hankering,

Trying to see whether you succeeded or you're not,

You're defeated,

This,

That,

The subsequent blah,

Blah,

Blah going on in the mind about your samadhi,

Then you're stuck in the waking only.

You're not going to be able to establish a turiya.

Turiya is beyond waking,

Beyond dreaming,

Beyond deep sleep.

Waking,

Dreaming,

Deep sleep,

All three are vrittis in the mind.

At turiya,

At the fourth,

There is no conversation.

There is no success,

No failure,

No chit-chat,

No ideas,

No concepts.

Did you get a glimpse of that?

Okay.

The quick is not better than the slow.

Slow ripening and rapid flowering,

Alternate.

Both are natural and right.

Yet,

All this is so in the mind only.

As I see it,

There is really nothing of the kind.

In the great mirror of consciousness,

Images arise and disappear.

And only memory gives them continuity.

And memory is material,

Destructible,

Perishable,

Transient.

On such flimsy foundations,

We build a sense of personal existence,

Vague,

Intermittent,

Dreamlike.

This vague persuasion,

I am so-and-so,

Obscures the changeless state of pure awareness and makes us believe that we are born to suffer and to die.

Basically,

What he's saying,

All these concepts,

Ideas,

Oh,

I am a failure.

I'm not good enough.

This is not happening right.

Or,

Oh,

See,

I am so great.

I sat so long.

All this,

I am so-and-so.

You keep collecting these ideas and you build an idea of a vyakti.

It is dreamlike.

It is vague.

It is not real.

It is illusory.

This is only memory that you have put all these waves of perception,

Sensation,

Thought together.

You weave them together and create it memory.

Drop all this because this is all at the mental level.

This is all vritti level.

At the consciousness level,

Did you find any of these?

Was there any story there?

There is nothing there.

It's absolute silence.

And did you see,

In that absolute silence,

The eye starts shaking.

It doesn't like it.

It wants story and it tries to come back to I am so-and-so.

That is the practice,

Not slipping,

Coming back to the truth.

It loves the story.

It likes I am so-and-so,

Even if it means I'm a loser.

Just give me any I am so-and-so story.

It's all a dream.

It's all a dream.

Why?

Because it's only perception,

Sensation,

Thought,

Feeling,

Weaved together.

Is this clear what I mean by perception,

Sensation,

Thought,

Feeling,

Weaved together?

Yes?

Have you become clear there is no world out there in which there is a person like you,

Which is continuous?

Is that clear?

Yeah?

Now,

Hold on to that truth.

And when this I am so-and-so story begins,

Remind yourself.

Maharaj also said,

I'm going to be stuck at the dream-like illusory level.

Let me again go back.

Yeah?

Make your samadhi more and more stable.

It's clear,

No?

Mirror of consciousness.

Again,

Just poetic way,

The same witnessing consciousness.

Images appear and disappear.

Yeah?

They are not to be taken very seriously.

It is only memory.

Means they are weaved together.

Stories weave together by perception,

Sensation,

Thought,

Feeling.

You put it together and you build a story of this vyakti.

It's not true.

Again and again,

Seeing that only the witness consciousness is who I am.

Questioner.

Just as a child cannot help growing,

So does a man compelled by nature make progress?

Why exert oneself?

Where is the need of yoga?

He's still a beginner.

He's still not understanding what is the need of all this practice.

So,

Maharaj says there is progress all the time.

Everything contributes to progress.

But this is the progress of ignorance.

Please mark.

Out in the world,

What you call progress is the progress of ignorance.

Progress in name,

Fame,

In relationships,

Gaining a bigger status in society,

Getting a better car,

Getting a bigger home,

Getting a higher title.

All that is progress in ignorance.

Is that very clear?

The circles of ignorance may be ever widening,

Yet it remains a bondage all the time.

In due course,

A guru appears to teach and inspire us to practice yoga.

And a ripening takes place as a result of which the immemorial night of ignorance dissolves before the rising sun of wisdom.

But in reality,

Nothing happened.

Please mark.

In reality,

Nothing happened means what?

Even that knowledge that guru coming was only a perception.

Then the knowledge happening was only another perception or another thought.

So,

It is nothing but these waves.

These waves arise.

And when I just read them together,

I say,

Oh,

See,

I didn't have this knowledge before and I have this now.

But in the true now,

Is that story there?

It is not there.

It is there and everything is there.

Correct.

So,

The witnessing awareness in the space of witnessing awareness in the now,

That story is not there.

It is part of the idea of the past,

Which does not really belong to Turiya.

Those who are practicing Samadhi,

What are you really practicing to get to where?

Turiya.

Does Turiya have a story?

Is there any memory sitting there?

Does it say that I have a past where I was ignorant?

Do you recognize anything at all there?

Is anything happening there?

There is nothing happening there.

Do you see that?

So,

Maharaj says all this is in the mind.

For me,

All this did not happen.

Nothing happened.

Because it is just one wave after another,

One wave after another.

If you get to the point where you get established in and as Turiya,

You will not weave together perception,

Sensation,

Thought,

Feeling,

Connect it,

Make a bogey and call it a train.

No.

You will just see it as one perception,

One sensation,

One thought,

One feeling and it's gone.

There is no connection made between the previous one and this one or the next one.

No weaving.

So weaving makes it a story.

Correct.

That is what you call memory.

There is no box called memory.

There is no box called mind.

There is simply the now and there is a wave in the now.

That's it.

When you established in Turiya,

That's all you are seeing.

There is no suffering and nothing happened.

Very clear?

Okay.

In reality,

Nothing happened.

The sun is always there.

There is no night to it.

The mind blinded by the I am the body idea spins out endlessly its thread of illusion.

Please highlight.

So if you get lost in the thread of illusion,

You know you have come down to I am the body.

Get out of that.

This weave of illusion will go away.

You understand weave of illusion,

No?

Spinning all these perceptions,

Sensations,

Thoughts and feelings together.

Embroidering it together and making it a big story.

Discard stories.

What is the first word in your Samadhi Sutras?

Upekshaya.

Discard.

Discard.

Discard.

Discard.

Discard.

First thought will,

No?

First thought always slips in.

Not to react to that.

It will go,

Reach its peak.

Has to dissolve.

It has a shelf life.

Just maintain your stand,

However attractive or repulsive it is.

Maintain your stand.

The maintaining stand is Upekshaya.

Clear?

So this is very important.

Not to get into I am the body illusion.

Not to get into it at all.

Questioner,

If all is a part of a natural process,

Where is the need of effort?

Maharaj,

Even effort is a part of it.

What is it?

What is the natural process?

The flow.

The flow of what?

Perception,

Sensations,

Thoughts,

Feelings.

Got nothing to do with me.

Are you able to completely dissociate from them?

Yeah?

Effort is also part of that flow only.

It's got nothing to do with me.

It was meant for this sensation called the body.

This needed that effort.

Get it?

And it is part of that flow.

It's got nothing to do with me.

So,

Even effort is a part of it.

When ignorance becomes obstinate and hard and the character gets perverted,

Effort and the pain of it become inevitable.

In complete obedience to nature,

There is no effort.

How many of you realize this in Samadhi today?

When you completely surrender to the flow,

You let what is happening happen,

And you're simply at a distance.

There is no effort in Samadhi.

Those moments are precious.

Hold on to them because there will be moments where the Maya attack will come up,

And then you have no option but to have that courage to not give into it,

Not surrender to it.

Otherwise,

The whole Samadhi gets messy.

So,

Remember,

Hold on to this precious moment if you get a glimpse.

See,

It's so effortless.

Just be with it,

That wow realization of it being effortless.

That means you're allowing the perception,

Sensation,

Thought,

Feeling to flow,

And you're completely at a distance simply knowing what is happening.

Without,

I'm doing this,

I'm not doing this,

I like this,

I don't like this.

If all this is happening in Samadhi,

Then you're trying to interfere with the flow.

Do you see this?

You're standing apart and watching.

When you keep watching the perception,

Sensation,

Thought,

Feeling,

You just allow it to keep moving.

You stay.

It's got nothing to do with you,

Nothing to do with me.

And see how effortless it is to stay.

Where is the effort when there is resistance?

And ignorance becomes obstinate and hard,

And the character gets perverted.

Effort and the pain of it become inevitable.

Means there is effort,

There is pain.

So,

Don't resist them.

Oh,

I'm in Samadhi,

I should not think this.

You are not thinking.

It's the first thought which automatically has arisen.

Just let it go.

Oh,

I should not be feeling this.

You are not feeling.

Don't fool yourself.

The first feeling arises,

It peaks and it goes.

Just allow it to go.

Upekshaya.

Just allow it to arise and disappear.

Simple.

Stay your witnessing ground.

Do not slip.

Do not slip.

In complete obedience to nature,

There is no effort.

Remember this for tomorrow.

Write it down on a new page and in the morning before you start your Samadhi,

Just read this sentence.

In complete obedience to nature,

There is no effort.

Just that one sentence should be there.

Maybe on a piece of paper and just keep it in front of you.

So,

Whenever the mind gets resistant and gets perverted,

You see the sentence written in front of you.

When you go back home,

Put it on a post-it and hang it on the wall wherever you sit to meditate.

The seed of spiritual life grows in silence and in darkness until its appointed hour.

Basically,

The seed is going to sprout in its time.

You continue to stay as the witnessing consciousness.

Stay.

Stay as the witness.