Hello,
This is Farzana Doctor and this is 5 Steps to Unblend.
This is a guided meditation that you can use when you're feeling overwhelmed and it's based on the work of Janina Fisher and her book,
Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors,
And I've added in a few pieces of my own that I've found to be helpful personally and professionally.
It's a guided meditation with pauses,
But please feel free to pause the recording if you need more time.
The first step to unblending is to assume that all overwhelming feelings,
And you know those feelings that feel just extra,
Assume that it's coming from a part even if you're not sure or you don't know which part.
The second step is to use parts language to describe the feeling.
So you might say,
A part of me feels really upset right now,
Or a part of me doesn't want to go to sleep,
Or a part of me is seething with anger.
Take a moment right now to describe your feelings using parts language.
Okay,
The third step is to create a little space between you and the feeling and the part.
So you want a little space so you can listen really well from your adult self and hear what your part is saying in a way that's a little less intense.
A few ways to create a little space might be to tense and relax your muscles so you're feeling your adult body.
You might lengthen your spine.
You might look around the room and orient yourself to this present moment,
Noticing where you live.
You might even say to your parts,
Did you know that it's 2024 or whatever year it is,
And I live here in this city in my home and perhaps not where they feel they are in time.
Take a moment to do that.
The fourth step is to use your adult self or your wise grown up mind to have a reassuring conversation with your parts.
At this point,
Pull on any skills you might use in your job or when you speak with a friend or if you're a parent or an uncle or an aunt,
Think about how you might speak to a beloved child.
A few important pieces here is to acknowledge the feeling,
Validate how hard it can feel to have that overwhelming feeling,
And offer reassurance and a reminder that what's happening is not what they think is happening.
So you might say,
What's happening in the present to trigger this feeling is uncomfortable for the adult wise mind.
And what happened in the past may have been unsafe or dangerous,
But they're not the same.
You might remind your younger self that you're safe enough now and that you're an adult with adult supports and skills and you're there to protect them.
You might tell them that they live inside of you now,
Protected inside of you now.
So take a moment to do this acknowledgement,
Validation,
Reassurance,
And reminders of present safety.
You might ask your parts what they need to feel better and really listen in for this.
Listen for any questions that might arise or any rebuttals you might need to again respond to.
And with each of these questions or rebuttals,
You're going to need to acknowledge,
Validate,
And offer reassurance and reminders of the present safer moment.
The fifth step is to ask if what you're doing is helping.
Are you feeling any settling in your body?
Is the feeling a little less intense?
Ask your parts if they enjoy this attention.
And just an extra note,
You may want to promise your parts that you'll check in.
And the trick to do this is to do it consistently.
To find a time to listen in and ask them how they're doing,
Perhaps on a regular basis,
Maybe with your morning cup of tea or coffee,
Make it a habit so that you're checking in when things aren't overwhelming.
And you'll find that it gets easier and more normal over time.
Some days you might need to listen to this whole recording to get through that overwhelming moment and other days you might hear that your parts are doing just fine and they don't need much from you right now.
So again,
Those five steps are to assume that all overwhelming feelings are coming from parts.
The second step is to use parts language to describe the feeling.
The third step is to create a little space,
Perhaps in your body or your environment,
From the parts so that you can listen well.
The fourth step is to use your adult self to have a reassuring listening conversation.
And lastly,
Check in to see if it helped.
I hope it did.
