Interview: Philip Blackett~ Family Love Can Cure All Things!

Hello,

Dear ones,

And welcome back to another episode of the Bite-Sized Blessings podcast.

This weekend,

I'm introducing you to Philip Blackett,

Who not only has a Master's of Divinity from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary,

But also has an MBA from Harvard Business School.

What I really like about Philip and what he puts out into the world that I think is so important and so needed,

So needed right now,

Is that he's all about tolerance and opening your heart to other people,

Even people we might disagree with,

That it is okay to disagree as long as we are open about it,

We are willing to come to the table and have a conversation.

I really like that sentiment,

That we can be okay with others who don't agree with us.

And I certainly have friends who have made choices that I wouldn't make in my life,

But I love them,

And they're dear friends,

And we all create meaning,

We all make decisions in this world based on our understandings about it,

And I just would never want to lose a friendship because someone made a different choice.

So I really appreciate the work that Philip is doing in this world.

In this podcast,

We do talk about Philip and the fact that he's on the autism spectrum.

There is a beautiful,

Beautiful miracle associated with that that was quite powerful that he shared this week.

I really enjoyed my conversation with him,

And I hope you do too.

So now without further ado,

Here's my really fabulous and so very sweet conversation with Philip Blackett.

I think it's a miracle story in itself where when I was growing up in Memphis,

At that time,

People looked at autism,

Autism spectrum disorder,

Asperger's syndromes,

And anything along those lines,

A lot differently than how they look at it now.

And I think part of the miracle story about that,

You know,

Is,

You know,

For me,

When I was growing up,

I was nonverbal until I was about four years old,

According to my mom.

And so I think that part of the miracle for me to even be talking to you today,

Right,

The way and the manner that I talk to you here is a miracle because this wasn't so much something that was just me.

Like somebody had to make that investment to really see something different from what the,

You know,

Whether it's doctors or therapists or psychologists,

All,

And I think a lot of credit goes to my mother and my grandparents for sure.

All right.

So my name is Phillip.

I'm on the eve of my 40th birthday,

Which for many people,

That can be very exciting for others.

They're trying to avoid a midlife crisis.

I'm trying to go with the former.

And at this point,

I very much enjoy being a husband and a father to twin daughters and really going about having a positive impact and influence on the world around me.

So I have to ask you now,

Because you planted this seed,

What does a midlife crisis look like for you?

For me,

It would be like walking out the door,

Leaving my house and my life and traveling all over the world for like six months.

What about you?

Well,

That wouldn't sound like a crisis though,

Kirsten,

Because it's like,

That's like a new adventure.

You know,

If it's something where it's like,

You know,

I want a motorcycle,

I want,

I'm trying to think of common midlife crises that people talk about,

Right?

I think it's really one that it makes you think,

You know,

In reflection of your past 40 years.

And if you're thinking to yourself,

If your life expectancy,

Let's say is 80,

Then if you're blessed to see the next 40 years,

You're thinking to yourself,

Okay,

Here's another opportunity for me to take inventory of what my life has been like now.

Be grateful for many of those things,

Including the lessons you've learned along the way.

And then think to yourself,

If you had a paintbrush or if you had the pen to write the next chapter or chapters of your life,

What would you want that to look like?

And so I think that part of it is when you're really taking on all the education,

The work experiences,

All the things,

Good,

Bad,

Ugly,

And you survived all that and you still are here today,

You now say to yourself,

Okay,

This is great.

What do I have to look forward to over the next days,

Starting one day at a time for hopefully the next 40 years.

Oftentimes wisdom comes in hindsight,

But now it's like,

Well,

In hindsight now,

What would I do different than now?

What's more important to me now at 40 versus at 30 or 20?

You just go about doing that.

I do have to say,

I checked out your website and I love the picture of your twin girls.

They're so cute,

Like little cute buttons.

I know.

Thank you.

I mean,

Did you know you were going to have twins or was it kind of a surprise?

Oh buddy,

We've been getting right into the story time.

So I actually pray for twins and not just twins,

Twin daughters,

Right?

So you can run the probability test on that.

And what's the odds of not only having a baby,

Not just a baby girl,

Not just twins,

But identical twins and identical twin girls upon request,

Right?

And part of the story with that Kiersten is,

So my wife and I,

We recently got married.

We wanted to have kids.

She's a little older than I am.

So I'm thinking in terms of,

You know,

I'm feeling the,

The urge of the biological time clock we'll say,

Right.

And so I'm trying to be considerate husband and say,

Listen,

You know,

I get it.

That makes sense.

You know,

We only have so many shots as far as having kids cause we're both getting older.

I always loved a good deal or combo deal when I went to get something to eat,

You know,

Like a two for one special.

And so I thought maybe that could apply here.

And so I prayed that I say to God,

Yes,

We may or may not have many opportunities at having kids,

But I would love for us to have a two for one special.

And in particular,

I would love to have twin daughters because I know for her,

My wife,

She would love to raise daughters.

And if you had two of them,

Then I think that's going to make all the worthwhile for her and everything she's progressed through from her life,

Be able to have daughters to raise.

And so what happened was when we were pregnant,

When she wasn't,

I was supporting her,

But anyways,

You know,

Tomato,

Tomato.

We had a scare early in the pregnancy that prompted us to go to the doctor to take our first ultrasound before our first ultrasound was supposed to happen.

So we were basically fearing the worst.

Well,

It was a little bit of a scare,

But everything was okay.

Thankfully,

And I don't know if it was the doctor or the nurse or whatever position they basically pointed out on the ultrasound.

I was like,

Okay,

Here's,

Here's the baby here and here's the second one.

And so my wife,

She has an astounded face on her,

But she starts the first thing coming out of her mouth.

Kirsten is what?

That means double the formula,

Double the diapers,

Double the clothes.

For a while,

I'm in the back sitting down,

Looking like the Cheshire cat,

Grinning,

Smiling,

Laughing,

Feet all like bouncing up and down.

And my wife turns at me and she's like,

What are you laughing at?

Why are you so happy about this?

Do you not understand this will be more out of our budget?

I said,

Yeah,

I get that.

I also get that God answered my prayer because I wanted twins.

And they would later be twin girls,

Which we could find out the gender.

And I was like,

Man,

Oh man,

You can't tell me that God isn't real after this.

Truly,

I was,

I was just thinking,

Oh my goodness,

You know,

Usually I ask for the magical or miracle story and I'll do that later in the episode.

But I thought,

Oh my gosh,

He's telling me right one right now.

That is utterly astonishing.

And just what a beautiful dream come true.

And I really love your specificity.

You're like,

This is this is what I'm going to pray for.

This is what I want.

And then and then God's like,

Here you go.

And and your wife,

You know,

She's so pragmatic,

Right?

She's like,

Oh,

Wait,

What?

Double the formula,

Double the diapers.

And you were just thinking,

Ha ha.

Yes.

Yep.

I essentially got my bite sized blessings.

I'll say that.

Totally.

Yes.

You know,

When people see Star Wars,

What do they say?

The force with this one is is something like your force,

Your energy,

Your force be with you.

Yes.

Yes.

It's very real for you.

You can you can manifest and work with creation and co-create what you want in the world.

Well,

They're cute as buttons,

I have to say.

And I love your website.

And I know that you're creative as well.

And you have your own podcast,

I think.

Yeah.

I've had a few podcast shows in my day,

In my first thirty nine,

Forty years.

Definitely the technology around creating podcast shows are much different from what I had to work with.

But yeah,

Yeah,

Definitely experience with it.

Definitely have a lot of respect for people that host podcasts like you.

It's not an easy thing,

But it's definitely worthwhile as far as the type of guests you have,

The type of conversations you enjoy and share,

And also the type of impact you can have on your listeners as well.

And you right now are engaging with something that I think is really interesting that I don't know a lot about.

And I actually,

You know,

Tend to feel rather negatively about it,

Which is A.

I.

And I get really nervous because I think of the Terminator and I think of other A.

I.

You know,

Whenever they are right,

Well,

Not all the time,

But science fiction these days when they write a sci fi book,

Usually there's an A.

I.

That's gone on the road,

A little rogue A.

I.

That is want or even the Matrix.

Right.

The A.

I.

Was like these humans,

They're super lame.

Let's just use them as battery packs.

So,

I mean,

How do you approach it with a sense that it's not all doom and gloom?

Yeah,

Well,

I think perspective helps because if we're going to have doom and gloom about A.

I.

,

We should have doom and gloom about social media.

We should have had doom and gloom beforehand with dial up Internet.

Or the automobile.

Or electricity.

Any new technology that we've had up to this point,

There's,

Of course,

A fear of the unknown that we have to navigate.

It's something foreign to us.

We had experienced life before it.

We don't know how life is going to change because of it.

And we don't know once we get involved with this,

If we can ever go back.

And so I think that it's very founded and understood to have those concerns and fears.

What I will say is that if history is any indication for us,

If a lot of those inventions and technologies.

If we got past those and found a way to make it work.

I think the same is here for A.

I.

You know,

I think it's one where,

You know,

What's really helpful for us is to figure out what it's about.

To learn about it.

There's so many different A.

I.

Tools out there.

Right.

It's not just a one thing.

And I think the biggest thing that comes out of that is you have to make a decision for yourself is are you going to learn how to work with it and adapt it to what you do in your everyday life?

In your everyday life,

Whether at home or at business or in your job,

Or do you take the risk of going without it?

And whatever comes about afterwards.

That's what comes from there,

Too,

Because I would imagine there are still a lot of people that refuse to get on the airplane.

Whatever reason,

There's still a lot of people that do not have Facebook profiles for whatever reason.

There's still people that probably decide not to use the telephone,

Even in a thunderstorm,

Because they're afraid that something may happen while they're on the phone and that's going to be bad rather than good.

So I just think of it as a technology that similar to what we've had before,

And it really is just our decision to make individually as far as whether or not this is something we're going to live with or take the risk of trying to live without it.

OK,

Thank you for that,

Because I know that a lot of my audience,

They don't know anything about it.

And thanks for for kind of.

Detailing it and and taking away my fear that I'll have to live in a subterranean city under the planet at some point because A.

I.

Has taken over.

So my second question always is,

Did you grow up in a religious household and what did that look like for you as a kid?

And how has that changed or evolved as you've grown up?

Yeah,

Absolutely.

So for me,

Definitely was raised in a Christian household down south.

I went to a Baptist church.

My grandparents were involved there.

My grandmother was a Sunday school teacher.

My grandfather was a deacon there.

And yeah,

I think two of the main things that I got as a legacy from my grandparents was the importance of education and the importance of faith.

And so I think that even up to this day,

As we're going into the second half of my forties,

As far as life after 40,

These are still things that live with me today.

And so I think it's been really helpful as you're growing into it to ask questions,

To learn what this means for you to make something your own as far as like your own relationship with God and how you best go about things and how do you interact with people that may share your beliefs,

Interact with people that don't.

And more importantly,

Understand how to best work with and live with and love those that are of the faith and those that are not.

And that's something I try to go about today,

As well as with my wife,

Being able to share that with our kids as well,

As far as how to understand how important faith is for them as well.

I love that.

And I have to say that sometimes when I find people who have been in multiple generations in a church,

I always ask this because I'm a foodie.

OK,

Unabashed foodie.

What did it look like on church days?

Did you guys have magnificent Sunday or Saturday or weekday feasts to celebrate?

Oh,

Yeah.

So I think like if it was like first Sunday of the month,

We would have communion.

So the wafers and the grape juice couplets and that sort.

But yeah,

Sunday dinners at my grandmother's house were definitely Thanksgiving feasts without it actually being Thanksgiving.

And that was honestly one of the things I looked forward to the most in the weekends,

Being able to get together as a family,

Have a great meal and have a seat on the couch for me to have the post food coma.

While watching a favorite basketball or football game with my grandfather,

Those are definitely experiences I relish in as part of part of living with my grandparents there.

I was going to ask,

What was your favorite dish that she made?

So there were a number of them,

So it's hard for me to single one out in particular.

I think sweet potato casserole for me,

Especially if you have a macaroni and cheese right next to it.

That was it for me.

But she also liked to make some great cakes and pies in particular.

Buttermilk chest pie was one of my favorites,

Especially during Thanksgiving and Christmastime.

Oh,

My gosh.

I do have to say that.

I mean,

I love sweet potato casserole for sure,

But a good macaroni and cheese recipe is worth its weight in gold,

I swear,

Because you can do so many different things with macaroni and cheese with different cheeses or additives or pastas or whatever.

So a magnificent macaroni and cheese casserole.

You had me at macaroni and cheese.

But also,

Of course,

The pies and the buttermilk chest pie is I always think of it as a little bit of a southern pie.

Would you say that?

I would say so.

I have a hard time finding it up here up north in Boston.

Yeah.

Oh,

Yeah,

Absolutely.

And and one of the things that I think is is really powerful about church food is that it's such such a product of its place and the history there.

You know how creative people can be just creating food and finding local ingredients or borrowing something from,

You know,

Whether it's dessert or not.

Food has has such a fascinating history and recipes have such a fascinating history.

And I'm a big I love cooking.

I love baking.

I love doing all that stuff.

It's something that I really miss now that I'm kind of transitory is I love I buy the cookbooks that have really deep histories in them so I can read the history and then make the dish because it gives the dish a little bit more power for me to appreciate it and kind of fall in love with it,

To understand where it comes from.

And I love old,

Old time recipes,

Too,

Because back,

You know,

So long ago,

You didn't have food coloring.

You didn't have,

You know,

All these kind of fancy additives that you can just go to the store and buy.

You had to be creative,

Actually.

You had to be an alchemist and use what was around you to discover something new and then give it to people.

So I'm a huge fan of people who create new recipes or find a new way to do something around food.

Obviously,

Look at how passionate I am.

I can't stop talking about it.

My God.

Absolutely.

That's why I love asking about Sunday dinners and about favorite dishes,

Because,

Of course,

Everyone has a different favorite dish.

But it's it's another way for me to learn about the history of a place or,

You know,

A worship space or even a family.

Right.

Because I mean,

Those dishes are kind of a record of your grandmother's love for you and and what she wanted to serve her family.

And I think that's so beautiful.

So thank you for entertaining me with that.

So you live in Boston now.

How did that happen?

How did you end up up north and decide to leave the south?

Yes.

I went from growing up in Memphis to going to college in North Carolina.

And then from there,

I went to New York City to work.

And then I later went back home to Memphis to work at a different place.

And then I felt the need to get a little more education to further my career.

And so that's when I decided to apply to business school,

Got into my top choice and moved up to Boston,

Not only for business school,

But that's where I met my wife.

And we've been here ever since so far.

What was your favorite part about Memphis?

I would think more towards the food on that one.

I do miss the barbecue for sure.

And a lot of the southern foods I grew up with,

Which you have some up here up north,

But it's just different.

And so I think Chick-fil-A up here is the closest I can get to some southern type of food.

So,

Yeah,

I probably would say the food would be the thing for me for thinking about home and my hometown.

Yeah,

My ex and I did a whole barbecue tour across the US.

So we started in Oklahoma and then drove towards St.

Louis.

So we went through Kansas and ended up in St.

Louis.

And I have to tell you,

At the end of that two weeks,

We thought we were going to explode and we thought we were going to just be sick.

Honestly,

It was so much barbecue,

But it was also so fun.

And I hadn't,

I mean,

Woefully ignorant barbecue person here.

I really understood,

You know,

All the different ways you can do potato salad or coleslaw or baked beans,

Let alone the barbecue sauce.

And then all the other things on the side that you can have that I hadn't even considered.

And yeah,

It was I mean,

To say that our tummies hurt at the end of that was is the understatement of the century.

But by God,

It was delicious.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

Sometimes you just kind of take it with a smile,

Knowing you'll pay for it later.

But hey,

In the moment,

It was worth it.

Well,

The main question of the podcast is,

I would love to hear a story or stories where you feel like you've witnessed something that was miraculous or magical,

Even mysterious.

Yeah,

I think it'd be hard for me to top the twin daughter story,

Just out of fairness.

So I might not be able to do it as much justice following up with another story,

Because that one usually is like the one that's like,

Yep,

That that's the haymaker right there.

But,

You know,

When I think about it,

When I think about miracles,

You know,

It's kind of one of those things for me,

It's just like,

Oftentimes I'm reminded every day of how little miracles can happen.

I do come back to as far as like,

My daughters,

Because,

You know,

I just think about it in terms of,

You know,

With them and how they're growing up,

And the different personalities that they're molded in that story,

I think.

I think one of the things that came off to my mind was just how blessed I am to be able to work out the way they did for them.

Because I guess the miracle story would be the sense that they got a lot from me,

Obviously,

Because I'm their father.

But another thing they got from me that most people don't know about me is I grew up being on the autism spectrum.

And I grew up being on the autism spectrum.

And I realized that that's something that you don't necessarily grow out of.

And so that's kind of part of,

You know,

Who you are,

And what makes you,

You.

And I think it's a miracle story in itself,

Where when I was growing up in Memphis,

At that time,

People looked at autism,

Autism spectrum disorder,

Asperger's syndromes,

And anything along those lines,

A lot differently than how they look at it now.

Right?

So we're talking about 40 years ago,

Essentially.

And I think part of the miracle story about that,

You know,

Is,

You know,

For me,

When I was growing up,

I was nonverbal until I was about four years old,

According to my mom.

I would just sit there and smile at you,

Wouldn't say a thing.

And now as a parent,

Trying to imagine what would it be like for my kids to not talk until they're four years old,

Would be pretty dramatic for me.

Right?

And so I think that part of the miracle for me to even be talking to you today,

Right,

The way and the manner that I talk to you here is a miracle,

Because this wasn't so much something that was just me.

Like somebody had to make that investment to really see something different from what the,

You know,

Whether it's doctors or therapists or psychologists,

All.

And I think a lot of credit goes to my mother and my grandparents,

For sure,

Especially my grandmother,

Because I do remember many times,

Many summers,

I would just sit on her lap,

And she would just talk to me,

Read stories,

She'll work with handwriting with me,

Try to do math,

Phonics flashcards,

Play Chinese checkers as I get older.

Like she had the type of unconditional love for me that was much needed.

And especially when it comes to like providing services to help accommodate where I was development wise,

In school,

I think she was very much instrumental and essential for me to be able to get that type of early intervention,

Love and support,

Where it then became something where,

At one point,

Now I'm trying to catch up with my classmates.

Now and,

You know,

Junior high school,

Now I'm like kind of one of the same with them,

Like you can't tell a difference.

Obviously,

Like for me,

It's like being on here,

You probably couldn't tell that I'm on the autism spectrum.

So part of it is like being able to quote unquote,

Conceal it,

You know,

As far as any quirks or things that you might be able to point out.

But then my grandmother challenged me to say,

Hey,

Like,

We've come this far,

Why not take it up a notch?

What would it be like if you really did your best in school?

And so going from like,

Sixth or seventh grade,

Just trying to fit in now and not be made fun of this time,

To them being valedictorian in my eighth grade class,

And then going on from there and doing well in high school and onward and that sort.

I think that would be part of the miracle story for me,

Because I don't think many people back at that time when I was nonverbal would think that I would have this type of future leading up to my 40th year.

And so now things become in full circle.

I have my kids,

They later are diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.

At least now we see an event early enough where we can do something about helping them and helping support them,

Because oftentimes the diagnosis is just one part of the equation.

And oftentimes a lot of people get that diagnosis so late in the game,

So to speak,

That they're trying to catch up with time or have lost time.

And it may be the sense where it may be too late,

Or just it becomes that much more difficult to help them learn what's needed so that they can be included in classrooms going forward.

And so for us being able to find that out early,

Find the right services,

Being in Boston in particular,

That was able to help accommodate us and help accommodate our kids.

And now as they're finishing first grade,

About to go to second grade,

You probably can't tell the difference in terms of like where they've come from.

Just seeing the progress of where they started and where they're at now,

Especially as a father who's on the autism spectrum himself,

I think about it very much as like that is a modern day miracle for me now.

That's amazing.

And I do have to say that,

Gosh,

Even 40 years ago,

39,

Because you're not quite 40.

Not yet.

Six months later,

I will be.

Yes.

Even back then,

Autism wasn't something that was routinely discussed.

It wasn't something that was out there very much.

So,

I mean,

Honestly,

That's really astonishing that your mother and your grandparents were able to see that you needed some extra support.

Absolutely.

It's really beautiful.

I mean,

Just this image of your grandmother,

You know,

With you on her lap and she's talking to you and telling you stories,

Because,

I mean,

Honestly,

I'm not a parent,

But I do think to myself,

I would be a little nervous if my kid was four and hadn't started talking yet.

Especially if you're with other friends of yours that are parents and you got playdates with your kids playing together and everyone else is talking,

But your kid isn't.

That could be one that you may have a straight face while you're at the playdate,

But on the way home or even while you're home,

You might feel a little bit differently.

Yeah.

And yes,

I would not be able to tell just talking to you until you told me that you are on the spectrum for autism.

And I think that does credit to your parents,

To your mom for getting that support,

To your grandparents for supporting you.

And you're actually really charming and hilarious.

I hope people have told you that.

I hope that's happened in your life.

That and that my handwriting is really,

Really neat.

Well,

There you go.

That's really amazing.

I love that.

Thank you for sharing that story.

That's really powerful.

And I think it's a testament to how much you were loved as a child.

I agree.

Very thankful for it.

All right,

Babes,

I hope you loved and appreciated this really wonderful episode of the podcast.

And I hope you enjoyed getting to meet Philip,

Who is creating beauty in this world,

Kind of every which way he looks.

And we need more of that in this reality that we all live in,

More people creating beauty,

More people fostering tolerance and more people inviting others to the table that they might not agree with.

I want to thank everyone who listens to this podcast.

And if you're a first time listener and you like it and you think it's groovy,

Please do consider writing a review or leaving a rating.

Those ratings and reviews are so important.

But really,

Those ratings,

They help other people find this podcast.

Thank you for listening.

And here's my one request.

Be like Philip.

Invite others to your table.

We are never going to agree 100% with everyone we meet in the world.

We might not even agree with some of the choices our friends make or the way they pivot when they face hard times or how they live their lives.

We might not agree,

But we love them anyway.

Be like Philip and love them anyway.

I think this world is enriched by diversity,

By different choices,

By multiplicity,

By being open to the mystery of the stranger.

So be like Philip.

Open your heart to others.

And pretty soon,

I'm guessing that even your table,

Well,

You're going to have to add a couple of extra leaves and also some extra chairs because it will just be abundance.

Abundance of friendship,

Abundance of love,

And an abundance of amazing,

Amazing human beings who love you just as much back.