The Gift Of Being A Black Sheep

Hey,

This is Ish,

And in today's talk I'll be going over the gift of being a black sheep.

So the term black sheep is often used negatively,

But I like to challenge that to tell you that it can be used and seen in a positive light.

And basically the term is used to describe someone that doesn't fit in a family dynamic or group.

So the idea is you have a family of white sheep,

And then there's this one black sheep in the family that is quite different.

And the black sheep is sometimes referred to as an outcast,

A rebel,

A loner,

Someone who goes against the mainstream ideas and is a bit unconventional.

Now,

To be clear,

You can learn from both people that fit in with society pretty well and seem to be well-adjusted and also people that are a bit quirky or out of the box.

And people who are well-adjusted,

Who can make friends pretty easily,

Who aren't very controversial and have a general ease about them,

Where they simply get along with everyone and everything,

Can teach us a lot about how to have general peace in life and also how to let go of struggles.

They teach us that we should just chill out sometimes if we tend to be a bit off.

And you may think it's an undesirable thing to be a black sheep and that you don't fit in anywhere or that you don't belong,

But there's actually a hidden upside.

And that upside is that black sheeps typically don't take things at face value.

They seem a bit restless almost,

And they want to find out the deeper meanings behind things.

They have a deeper desire to seek truth or at the very least question things.

And maybe in childhood they were the rebellious kids in class or disrupted the class.

And this kind of mentality extends into adulthood where they're constantly questioning things.

And black sheeps also can be highly creative and resilient to different things and changes in life.

And they all can also have an empathetic side if they tend to be coming from a more depressed kind of mood.

And the hidden genius behind black sheeps is that they're able to come up with unconventional solutions to different problems.

Because the way their mind works is that they don't draw upon conventional standards and ideas,

But they come up with out of the box thinking to solve different problems that people didn't even know existed.

So in any field,

You have people that are just well adjusted,

And then you have the weirdos.

And I say that lovingly.

So for example,

If you look into the spiritual community,

You have pretty well adjusted figures and everyone seems to like them.

And they aren't too intense.

So a few examples are Adyashanti or the late Thich Nhat Hanh,

Or the Dalai Lama.

I mean,

These are pretty big figures that most people tend to like.

They're very endearing.

You don't really find too many faults about them.

And then you have practitioners that taught things that made sense spiritually on the same level as these other teachers.

But they had also had a questionable side and created a lot of controversies.

So you have other figures like Ikkyu,

Osho,

And even the Buddha was a black sheep in his time.

And you may be thinking,

How,

The Buddha?

But if we start to look into his life story,

He was someone who grew up as a prince with a ridiculous amount of wealth,

Living in a very fancy palace,

And actually multiple palaces.

And here was someone with a wife and a kid,

Yet decided to leave those things in his pursuit to find what causes suffering and how to end suffering as well.

So he decided to just leave his home life and became homeless.

And if you think about it today,

If we use a contemporary example,

You can think of someone living in a very nice neighborhood,

And you know,

Is a millionaire son.

And all of a sudden,

He's like,

Hey,

Guys,

Guess what,

I'm going to be homeless.

And he just like leaves his house to live on the streets.

That's very similar to what he did.

And I'm sure people in his time were questioning him and thought he was a bit weird to do that.

But as he went upon his journey,

He studied under different meditation teachers that taught him the jhanas.

And these are high meditative states.

And he made so much progress really fast that his teachers asked him to stay on and teach these meditation techniques to other people.

But the Buddha was not satisfied.

And he said,

No,

Thank you.

And he left.

And I'm sure they were thinking,

Okay,

This guy's a bit weird.

Why doesn't he want to do this?

And he also studied under ascetics,

Who were yogis at the time that inflicted themselves,

That bodily harm,

In the idea that they may find spiritual liberation through physical suffering.

And he did practice with them for a while,

And eventually said,

You know what,

This is not for me,

I want to find the middle way.

So at the time where all his contemporary ascetics were starving themselves and not eating much food,

The Buddha decided to drink some milk and start to eat more food.

And obviously,

The ascetics were disgusted with his behavior and left him.

So I'm sure at this time,

He had a lot of people that thought he was just a bit odd.

He left his old family life.

He left his meditation teachers,

And he was also deserted by his friends.

So he was definitely a black sheep in this scenario.

But again,

He still had this desire to push forward and find the deeper meanings and deeper truths behind suffering.

And later,

When he started to teach what he had found out under sitting under the Bodhi tree,

Then people started to come around and support his cause.

And it was because of the Buddha's uncompromising nature,

That he continued to persist and spread his teachings.

And eventually,

People saw the genius that was behind his teachings,

And Buddhism is studied under billions of people today still.

And if you look into other fields,

Such as art and music,

There's a lot of black sheep there too,

A lot of people resonate with.

So just,

You know,

A few examples,

And there's tons of examples I could use.

But we have Vincent van Gogh,

The Dutch artist,

And then in the rock category,

We have Kurt Cobain of Nirvana,

We have Jonathan Davis of Korn,

We have legendary Jimi Hendrix,

And there's,

You know,

So many more examples.

And I want to make a side point here that I don't want to imply that being a black sheep automatically means that you may have,

You know,

Mental health issues that you're struggling with.

Because examples I just listed,

Those figures happen to struggle with these things.

And a lot of fans of these artists have a affinity towards them,

Because they feel like these artists really get them and their struggles.

So it's through relating to their sadness,

And also the creativity that these artists possess in their high states,

That are very awe-inspiring for other people.

So these particular artists were able to take some of their sadness or whatever they're feeling and channel it into a certain medium or source.

And because of their empathetic nature,

They're also able to have audiences resonate with what they're going through.

Now,

Obviously,

If you are struggling with any kind of mental health issues,

You do want to take care of yourself.

So take care of the physical,

Mental health,

Emotional health,

And all that.

But I think also beyond that,

You want to think about how you can channel your unique journey to help other people in some way.

Or you can ask yourself,

How can you empathize with other people?

Because if you tend to be a black sheep,

There is a part of you that doesn't fit in with the mainstream society.

And you want to see how you can use whatever that you've been going through to help other people that may also feel that they don't fit in with society as well.

And you may think that,

Again,

It's a bad thing to be a black sheep.

But again,

There are a lot of upsides that come with being a black sheep.

So you tend to have more loyal people at your side.

Because the nature of being a black sheep is that your presence in the world may not appeal to everyone,

Like the masses,

But it does attract strong followers.

So you can think of it this way.

If you're into coffee,

Are you like the Starbucks coffee that appeals to everyone?

Or are you that Sumatran organic coffee only sold in specialty coffee stores that,

You know,

May not have a mass appeal,

But the people that are really,

Really into coffee will absolutely love them and try to seek them out.

So you may have something specific that may keep you a bit distanced from others.

If you are a black sheep,

Whether that is a positive thing,

Or perhaps maybe more on the negative side.

So in the positive side,

Perhaps you may be interested in things like spirituality or health or fitness,

In a place that doesn't really value those things.

So if you're living in a place that just like,

Okay,

That's weird,

Then you may be seen as a bit of an outcast.

Or perhaps you have something or just a bit off socially,

Such as a weird quirk,

Or maybe you have an intense personality,

Or you tend to be a bit too out of the box in your thinking,

Or maybe you're a bit rebellious,

Or the opposite,

In which you're overly passive,

And you tend to be pushed out from a lot of people.

But you'll find that you'll also attract other people that love exactly whatever you're doing and focusing on in life.

And it's interesting that,

You know,

As a black sheep myself,

I've noticed that some of the closest people I've known in my life tend to be very edgy and,

You know,

A bit weird.

And they tend to put some people off,

But they also have this capacity to lead and guide other people in a particular field.

And they tend to be very competent in whatever they do.

So what is lost in one area is gained in another.

And another upside of being a black sheep is you tend to experience increased freedom.

So because you're not bound by the conventional thinking and rules of society,

Such as being bound by school or work or what society thinks,

You are basically free to go anywhere and do whatever you want without fear.

And this also makes you more spontaneous in life in general,

Because you're not bound by constraints put on you.

And another thing to think about is,

As a black sheep,

How can you use your gifts to help other people?

So think about the experiences that you have in your life and different viewpoints that you may have,

And how can you channel it positively to help solve other people's problems in a creative fashion?

How can you empathize with other people and solve problems in a way that's not currently done already?

And you can use your gifts to go from a victim mindset,

Which,

You know,

Some black sheep tend to face,

To a more positive mindset.

So instead of thinking that the world is against you or anything like that,

And coming from a reactive place,

You can be proactive by finding positive solutions that help other people.

So you can mature into being a guiding light for other people,

Like the various figures I've listed before.

Because every black sheep tends to go through an angsty phase in which,

You know,

They feel like they're a bit different or may not get along with society or whatever it is,

Right?

Myself included.

But eventually,

Once you've gone past that phase and have more peace,

Acceptance,

And joy in your life,

You can see how can you take your experiences to help other people going through the same thing.

Because again,

You have this increased capacity for empathy to understand the pain and suffering for other people.

Yet if you also have this creative side and out-of-the-box thinking,

You can come up with fantastic creative solutions that other people just simply aren't thinking about.

So that's something I'll just leave you with.

So hope you found this helpful,

And much love to my fellow weirdos.