Sunday Series 1 - Follow The Fish (John 21)

Hello friends.

This is Mark Gladman,

Also known as Brother Frederick James,

Your friendly neighbourhood monk in docks,

Welcoming you to this first in what will be a weekly series of reflections on the Sunday's Gospel,

Hence the title,

The Sunday Series.

And today we reflect on the reading from John's Gospel,

Chapter 21,

Verses 1 to 19.

As we begin,

I invite you to sit and be still,

To find that space and place of peace and rest deep inside your heart,

To let go of the distractions,

So that the voice of God can speak deeply to your heart.

Breathe in and out,

And hear the words of this reading from the Gospel of John.

After these things Jesus showed himself again to the disciples by the sea of Tiberias,

And he showed himself this way.

Gathered there together were Simon Peter,

Thomas the twin,

Nathanael of Cana in Galilee,

The sons of Zebedee,

And two others of his disciples.

Simon Peter said to them,

I'm going fishing.

They said to him,

We'll go with you.

They went out and got into the boat,

But that night they caught nothing.

Just after daybreak,

Jesus stood on the beach,

But the disciples did not know that it was Jesus.

Jesus said to them,

Children,

You have no fish,

Have you?

They answered him,

No.

He said to them,

Cast the net to the right side of the boat and you'll find some.

So they cast it,

And now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish.

That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter,

It's the Lord.

When Peter heard it was the Lord,

He put on some clothes for he was naked and jumped into the sea.

But the other disciples came into the boat,

Dragging the net full of fish,

For they were not far from the land,

Only about a hundred yards off.

When they'd gone ashore,

They saw a charcoal fire there with fish on it and bread.

Jesus said to them,

Bring some of the fish you've just caught.

So Simon went aboard and hauled the net ashore,

Full of fish,

153 of them.

And though there were so many,

The net was not torn.

Jesus said to them,

Come and have breakfast.

Now none of the disciples dared ask him,

Who are you?

Because they knew it was the Lord.

Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them and did the same with the fish.

This was now the third time that Jesus appeared to the disciples after he was raised from the dead.

And when they had finished breakfast,

Jesus said to Simon Peter,

Simon son of John,

Do you love me more than these?

He said to him,

Yes,

Lord,

You know that I love you.

Jesus said to him,

Feed my lambs.

A second time he said to him,

Simon son of John,

Do you love me?

He said to him,

Yes,

Lord,

You know that I love you.

Jesus said to him,

Tend my sheep.

He said to him the third time,

Simon son of John,

Do you love me?

Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time,

Do you love me?

And he said to him,

Lord,

You know everything,

You know that I love you.

Jesus said to him,

Feed my sheep.

Very truly,

I tell you,

When you were younger,

You used to fasten your own belt and go wherever you wished.

But when you grow old,

You will stretch out your hands and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.

He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.

And after this,

He said to him,

Follow me.

Once more,

Take a deep breath in and out.

And go with me back to that room where it all started,

This story all started.

In silence,

The kind of silence that lingers after there's been some sort of trauma,

A disappointment,

After the world has collapsed on itself.

Peter,

The rock,

The one who had sworn undying loyalty,

Had watched it all.

Fall apart,

Watched himself fall apart.

The sword in the garden,

The courtyard fire,

The rooster crowing,

The cross,

The tomb.

And now,

Resurrection.

But what does resurrection mean when your own soul still feels buried?

Peter doesn't have an answer.

Peter just knows what to do with his hands.

And when your heart is weary and your mind is uncertain,

Sometimes you go back to what you know.

And so Peter says,

I'm going fishing.

And they all go with him.

Out into the dark waters.

Out into the rhythm that he's familiar with,

The rhythm of nets and waves and waiting.

But even here in the place of familiarity,

Nothing is working.

No fish,

No direction,

And no clarity.

Until,

A voice calls out from the shore.

Children,

You have no fish,

Have you?

They call out to the stranger,

No.

And then comes the invitation.

Cast the net on the right side of the boat and you'll find some.

And something,

Something in these words,

Something in the way they echo across the water,

Breaks through Peter's fog.

It's a phrase that's familiar.

Too familiar.

Like a cord stuck in his soul that reverberates through memory.

Fish.

And he thinks back.

The parable that Jesus once told.

The kingdom of heaven is like a net thrown in the sea,

Catching fish of every kind.

He'd spoken those words with a gleam in his eye.

Inviting them into a mystery deeper than the sea itself.

Fish.

And another memory.

Five thousand people seated on a hillside and a child's meal.

Five loaves,

Two fish.

Placed in Jesus' hands,

The basket overflowing at the end.

Fish.

And then another memory.

The other time,

Four thousand more and again fed with bread and fish.

And then another memory.

A coin pulled from the mouth of a fish to pay the temple tax.

And further back still.

Fish,

The beginning.

Lake of Gennesaret.

A night of failure.

An empty boat.

A young rabbi stepping in and teaching.

And then the invitation called out across the water.

Put out into the deep.

Let down your nets.

And then the next thing,

The net breaks with fish.

But Peter breaks with awe.

Go away from me,

Lord,

He said back then,

For I'm a sinful man.

And Jesus smiled and said to him,

Do not be afraid.

From now on,

You will fish for people.

Fish.

Peter blinks.

The present snapping back into focus.

The net is full again.

But this time,

This time he doesn't hesitate.

And just as John's recognition calls out,

It's the Lord.

Peter dives in because sometimes love can't wait for boats to dock.

He swims through the water like a man reborn.

And on the shore when he gets there,

A charcoal fire.

Bread warming.

And cooking,

Of course,

Fish.

There's a meal waiting.

On a second charcoal fire.

The first one being the place of his denial and now here.

The place of his healing.

Jesus looks at Peter,

Not with judgment.

And not with disappointment.

But with breakfast.

And then he speaks.

Three times.

Do you love me?

Three denials.

And now three affirmations.

A reinstatement.

A reminder.

And a call.

Feed my lambs.

Tend my sheep.

Follow me.

The fish,

Friend.

The fish was not a memory.

It was a sacrament.

A holy sign of the journey,

The calling.

The failures,

The wonders and the doubts.

It was a token of remembrance.

That even in our deepest confusion,

Christ calls to us.

That even in our shame,

Christ prepares breakfast for us.

That even when we go back to fishing,

Jesus meets us there.

The fish told Peter that he was never alone.

That resurrection doesn't erase the past,

But it does redeem it.

And as Peter chewed that morning's bread and fish,

Surrounded by friends and the lapping of waves,

Something settled in him.

Christ was here.

Still calling.

Still cooking.

Still loving.

And because of that,

Even this moment,

This uncertain,

Messy post-resurrection moment,

Yes,

Even this one could be beautiful.

Because Christ is always enough.

Even when we aren't sure who we are anymore.

Will you pray with me?

Oh Christ,

You who meet us in our weariness.

You who stand on the shores of our confusion and call us once again by name.

Thank you.

Thank you for the nets that break,

And for the fish that remind,

And for the meals that heal.

When we go back to what we know,

Meet us there.

When we feel unworthy of your love,

Feed us anyway.

And when you ask,

Do you love me?

May we say,

Yes.

Even if trembling.

Even if unsure.

May we say yes,

And follow again.

Amen.

May grace,

Peace,

And love go with you,

My friend,

Today,

And always.

Until next time,

Peace be with you.