Falling In Love: Gaining Courage To Feel Deep Emotion

So welcome and today is a day to celebrate the fullest version of ourselves which is a being of deep unconditional love and presence.

My invitation to you is to either lay the body down or sit up nice and tall where you can be active through the spine but soft through the front of the body.

Maybe find a way to elevate the hips so that your knees are traveling down towards the ground allowing a bit more blood flow.

And close the eyes.

So even in this poetry reading and talk before we come into the meditation,

Allow your body to arrive.

So you are here,

You have a body,

You have a mind,

You have hearts.

And allow the different bodies to merge and arrive in this space.

My desire in sharing the prayer slash poem that I will share with you at the beginning of this talk and meditation.

My desire is for you each to deeply deeply inhabit the physical form in which you have been gifted.

My desire is for you to soften.

Soften in the muscles,

The muscular structure of physical form and to allow your heart to expand and be open.

My desire here in sharing my prayer with you is that you pour into yourself the love that you so deeply desire.

That you pour into yourself the possibility and opportunity for more expansiveness.

For in the modern embodiment of the collective body in our deep desire to be accepted and to be a part of,

Many of us have given up our sensorial nature in order to fit into a more dull and less radiant somatic body.

Meaning that we feel less,

That we intuit less,

That we depend more on external forces to tell us when we feel.

So as we sit here I invite you to let the breath to move in and out of the nostrils.

To allow the forehead to relax.

Maybe even visualizing the skin of fingertips softly bracing and grazing the face,

The forehead,

Running down the cheeks and around the lips.

Maybe softly parting the lips allowing the tongue to relax.

Each inhalation moving through the nostrils deep from the belly up through the diaphragm across the chest.

Softly but strong and each exhale splashing out down the chest out of a rounded belly as the navel suckles back into the spine.

So first we move into a meditative space to open the bodies for a body that is less connected somatically and sensorially.

It is very difficult to give love and to receive.

So notice if you can soften even more across the chest,

Soften the shoulders,

Soften the muscles in the neck and imagine all the muscle fibers that are moving down the back of the neck.

You can imagine a soft comb moving through the muscle fibers down the back through the scapula between the shoulder blades and relaxing more and more deeply.

For when we desire to be more open loving creatures,

To feel more,

To give more,

To receive more,

We can get quite fixated on the mental aspect of love but love is presence.

Love is openness.

Love is deep sensorial feeling.

So soften the gaze behind closed eyelids like your eyes are floating on pool pools of water.

Soften the jaw,

Soften the shoulders,

Soften the belly,

The hips.

Allow the earth to hold you strong through the spine but soft through the front side of the body.

So steady and fortified.

We live in a world that has pushed us to conform to a norm and in that many of our bodies have lost their intuition,

Their openness to nature,

To the senses,

To smell,

To sound,

To movement,

To textures.

As we come into this meditative space,

We slow down,

We tune in.

On every exhalation we expand the cellular form by breathing into all the spaces between the 30 trillion cells in the body and visualizing the body pulsating in rhythm with the heartbeats of nature.

We imagine ourselves becoming more and more expansive like a field of presence emanating not just in our form but outside the physical body and into the ethereal or auric body.

We become more orb-like in our energy.

If the mind gets lost in thoughts or in judgment or self-criticism of am I doing it right or I like this or I don't like that,

As you breathe in and out you can say to yourself in the mind,

Breathing in,

I am aware that I am breathing in.

Breathing out,

I am aware that I am breathing out.

And continue.

Arrive in every cycle of breath as it moves in and out of the body.

Remind yourself,

I am alive.

I am alive.

I am alive.

I am alive.

Breathing in,

I am aware that I am breathing in.

Breathing out,

I am aware that I am breathing out.

We become more and more conscious of the expansive nature of our energetic bodies as we breathe in and out coming into that Theta state in the mind,

Softening our thoughts and mental structures and truly embodying the body.

For the mind and the voice can say,

I love you,

But only the body feels love.

Love is a feeling.

If our body is dissociated or numb,

We may have nourishment barriers,

Meaning it may be limiting for us to welcome in love into our heart,

Into our bodies,

Into our breath.

It may be difficult for us to give love as well.

So in this moment,

Instead of thinking yourself into love,

Feel into love,

Expand,

Pulse,

Ride the waves of your breath and your heartbeat,

Soften,

Soften,

Soften.

Repeating in the mind,

I am alive.

It is in my nature to love.

I am alive.

It is in my nature to love.

I am alive.

It is in my nature to love.

I am alive.

My body is expansive and open.

I am alive.

I am connected to the space,

The breath around me.

I am connected to nature.

I am alive.

My body is opening and aware.

Continue to breathe in and out of the nostrils.

Each time I say a statement,

You can say it in the mind or say it out loud.

Sometimes saying these words out loud is so incredibly powerful,

But saying it quietly to yourself as if you are your own lover,

Whispering it just before bedtime and notice how it feels in the body to receive,

Notice the truth of it,

The paradox of it,

Welcome it in and keep the heart open,

Keep the body open and continue to breathe and ride the waves of the inhalation and exhalation.

As I say each statement.

Let one statement be for the inhalation,

One for the exhalation.

There's no way to do this wrong.

I am open.

I am love.

I am aware.

I am love.

I am welcoming.

I am love.

I am willing.

I am love.

To give.

To receive.

There is love.

Emanating from me.

To give.

To receive.

There is love.

Emanating from me.

Continue to breathe on your own in and out of the nostrils,

Ride the wave.

Soften the face,

Soften the shoulders,

Soften the chest and the belly.

You are the inhalation.

You are the exhalation.

Enjoying this gift of breath,

The breath of life that moves in and out of your body,

Expanding your lungs,

Opening your heart.

Expanding your lungs,

Allowing you to connect with whatever emotion is alive.

Joy,

Ecstasy,

Grief,

Anger,

Pain,

Loss,

Frustration.

Every single emotion can be transmuted into presence and equally into love.

I choose to feel it all.

I choose to feel it all.

I choose to feel it all.

I choose to feel it all.

Ride the waves.

Let the cellular structure expand,

Feel and visualize the spaces in the body.

Cracking open,

Light pouring through,

Breath pouring through.

Even if pain and grief feels contracting in the body.

Let love,

Let presence embrace you in warmth.

Embrace you in warmth.

Let your body open and expansion to feeling the vast array of the human experience.

I am alive.

I am fortunate.

I am alive.

I am fortunate.

I am not this body.

But I have a body.

I am not this body.

But I have a body.

I am not this mind.

But I have a mind.

I am not this mind.

I am not this body.

I am not this body.

Riding the wave of the inhalation and exhalation.

Allow love to pour in through the body,

In through the mind.

If the mind wanders,

Again coming back to that awareness.

Breathing in,

I am aware that I am breathing in.

Breathing out,

I am aware that I am breathing out.

Feel the expansion in the body.

Visualize the light and breath pouring through.

You are alive.

I am alive.

I am alive.

I am alive.

Deep breaths in and out of the nostrils.

Find that ocean-like sound.

Again,

In the mind,

Repeating or externally through voice.

I am alive.

I am alive.

I am alive.

We are waking the human body in order to connect with this field of presence.

Love is not something to be found.

It is something to feel.

Love is all around,

In the breath.

You have woken up today.

Life has poured through you,

Through vital life force.

You are breathing,

You are being,

You are living.

Allow that truth to embrace you with deep,

Deep,

Unconditional love.

Life loves you.

Life has woken you up today from your slumber and breathed into you life force energy and given you yet another day to connect and expand with life all around you.

You can either visualize that expansion or sense it in the body.

Each breath in,

Each breath out,

Expansion.

Enlivening.

Nourishment.

We allow a moment of stillness and silence.

Notice what comes up in your mind when not guided.

Can you stay in that loving field of presence that you are and that surrounds you?

Ride the waves of breath.

Arrive in your body more and more deeply.

Inhabit this beautiful vessel,

This bridge that you've been given between existence and form.

The ethereal,

The material.

You are here and manifest.

Place the hands lightly on some place in the body.

Feel your connection to this home of yours,

Your crab shell,

Your turtle shell,

Your one true home.

You live inside this body.

I am here.

I am love.

I am here.

I am love.

I am here.

I am love.

Maybe a slight smile on the face,

Even if we are in moments of loss or heartbreak.

A deep moment of gratitude for holding the polarities of both.

The human experience is painful and pleasurable.

In this moment,

Embrace the pain in the body,

The pain in the heart,

The pain in the mind,

And also the joy,

The gift of life in this moment.

So many are not with us today.

So many no longer have life breathing into them,

And we are the lucky ones in this moment.

Deep gratitude.

Let everything have a seat at the table,

But allow that gratitude.

I am here and I am alive.

And I am love.

My hands can rest back on the knees.

Deep breath in.

Let's take a few sighs,

Cleansing sighs,

Out from the back of the throat.

A few more.

Another one.

Ah.

Coming back into the space or staying deep internal.

In a moment,

I will share a poem slash prayer that has moved through me in the last days,

And this inspiration,

The channel that fumbled through,

Was one of the future beloved.

So for those of us that have so many beautiful loved ones near us,

It can be such a beautiful anchor in the loving nature of life.

For those of us away from our loved ones or in loss from our loved ones,

For those of us that may feel alone or left behind,

Abandoned or discarded,

May we remember that life is our deepest lover.

That every day we wake up and without further ado,

Life breathes into us and our chest rises and our heart pumps blood through our bodies and we are given this beautiful opportunity to enjoy again the material world through form.

So we dance and we eat and we cry and we scream and we pray and we walk and we play.

So each day is a deep blessing,

Each day is a bouquet of roses from life,

Life giving us more time.

So this poem,

This prayer that I share with you,

Allow it to be yours.

Allow it to be read to you as if your future lover or loved one is reading it to you out of dedication and devotion to their love for you.

Imagine yourself saying these words to your future beloved or your current beloved.

This is a prayer of devotion to showing up,

To being fully embodied and expansive and radiant so that when we come to other,

That we come with fullness and our desire is not to take love but to give love.

And if we receive,

Beautiful,

But if not,

That we take in so much pleasure in giving love unconditionally,

In giving love to another,

Of loving another being that life has breathed life into and that we see the pleasure in that.

So relax the body,

Expand through the inhalations and the exhalations,

Soften with each of the words.

Imagine yourself saying these words to those that you love,

Saying these words with deep devotion and receiving them back.

To my future beloved,

I humble myself before you as I bow in holy prayer towards life.

I humble myself inwards towards my higher self and I trust.

I trust in us.

I see you,

Beloved.

I hold you deep in my care.

I love you.

I am so incredibly grateful to have intersected with you in this life.

Such a precious gem that life has given us,

One another.

The love I offer you cannot guarantee certainty or absolutism,

Yet I can promise you to do my best every day.

To choose you each day as I also choose myself.

To create space for your heart alongside mine.

To hold your needs,

Your fears,

And your desires in my care,

With deep reverence for what makes us different,

So that I may expand my own world to include yours.

I want to know the inner landscape of your being.

I want to receive what it is that makes you,

You.

I want to understand what you hold close.

Your pain,

Your grief,

Your longings,

Your desires.

I want to give importance to what is important to you.

I want to hold the wounded parts of you with great care and consideration.

I want to become a better person,

Not for you,

But for the higher good,

And in service to our collaboration and my collaboration with life.

The gift of loving you is no doubt a profound offering.

I do not take it lightly.

I will laugh with you and play with you.

I will be with you.

I will laugh with you and play with you and enjoy your smile.

I will scream and jump and dive in with you and remember that all of life benefits from the prayer of our love.

In loving you,

In knowing you,

In journeying with you,

I fall deeper into love with all people,

All of life,

All of myself.

I take this opportunity to become a better conduit of unconditional love.

I take this opportunity to become a humble servant to my own undoing and becoming.

Life is wonderfully temporal,

And we have chosen each other now.

That holy choice does not escape me.

That holy choice does not escape me.

I also wish to say with humility that I will fail you at times.

I will not always understand.

I will not always deliver my love to you in a way that you can receive it.

But I promise to you that each time I fail you,

I will learn to do better.

I can promise you that I will stand alongside you and learn from you how best to navigate the world in which you inhabit.

I will learn to be more patient,

More compassionate,

And more empathetic to the ways in which we perceive differently this world.

And I will learn to build a bridge from my heart to yours.

When my words or actions hurt you,

I will do my best to put aside my defensive nature,

And I will receive you in your truth.

I will take the time that you give me to know you more deeply.

I will take the time you share with me to learn the language of your greatest truth,

My love.

I will learn to speak your language while learning how best to stroke your heart.

As we dance,

Play,

And create,

I will courageously and confidently roam and ravage the curves and edges of your body and devour you in a way that I take nothing from you,

But devotionally give.

I will vulnerably share my body,

My dreams,

And my fears with you in a way that you will never know.

I will share my body,

My dreams,

And my fears with you in a way that holds both of our hearts and minds in deep devotional conviction.

We shall ride the waves of pleasure together as we traverse the inner landscapes of our cravings and hunger.

I promise to tickle your sensorial world in a way that brings you and brings your deepest,

Submerged aspects to the surface to be loved,

To be seen,

To be held,

To be heard.

To my dear future beloveds,

I better myself each day and clean the corridors of my being so that when you arrive,

I have plenty of space for you to come within and place your head at rest.

There is no rush.

What is to be will be.

Take your time on the journey my love.

My heart awaits you in peace.

Remember,

You are loved.