This Universe Is More Loving Than We Realize

The whole point of practices is to get your mind still enough that you can twig how much the universe loves you.

It's a joke.

It's just a joke.

It's hilarious.

When you get it,

You go,

Oh my God.

So with the moms and all the demands and having to earn livings and then all the emotional stuff that comes up,

It's coming down the generations.

I have a particular soft spot just because I know what an impossible job it is and how guilty we can feel.

But I just come alongside you to give you a bit of a nudge in the direction you need to go on.

And there's no judgment ever from me,

But I'm very blunt.

So no judgment,

Just bluntness.

And it's better to get it from me than to get it in 20 years when you see in stark relief what you did.

Do you see?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't want that for you.

I'm wanting to give you what support you need now for the most auspicious result for everybody.

And we're all in the West,

We're stuck in,

We're the doers and we're not really,

You guys.

It's like one of those machines in the circus where kids get in a car and they're steering the wheel,

But the car goes on a predetermined route.

It's the same with our lives.

It's actually all predetermined.

We think we're making choices.

We're not.

We're not.

It's ridiculous.

In the bigger picture,

It's all just kind of like a river flowing along in a preset way.

And even me coming alongside to give you a bit of extra support was preordained.

And what my input was going to be was preordained.

And your soul set it up to give you some support.

And for Premasuddha to,

I'm going to joke,

Assuage my guilt.

It's a joke.

I wish I had had Premasuddha come in alongside me.

Healers always give what they needed.

So this is what I needed.

But you guys,

The moms,

The most important thing is love yourselves.

And,

You know,

Just do your best.

Just don't try so hard,

Both of you.

Maxi,

You too,

Just don't try so hard.

Yeah,

Please.

There's room.

There's room just to be human.

And the kids all chose you.

And you're both beautiful moms.

But it's a challenge to be like single moms,

Having to support kids,

And then having to bring in the whole new evolutionary shift that humanity's in,

Right?

So we have to do those three things.

It's quite a ride,

You guys.

And I have to say,

40 years ago,

It was like harder in the way that nobody was talking about it.

But it's harder now because of just,

There's so many people talking about it.

And there's a lot of confusion.

People just,

You know,

They make a career out of it when they haven't,

When they don't know what they're talking about.

Anyway.

That's it,

Franca.

That's it.

There's a very deep place in your heart that you're beginning to allow to open,

To allow to be fed.

And that's what I wanted,

This softening.

Yeah.

And so these angels are working with you.

And you got my second message about,

Just ask them to show you how.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Great,

Franca.

Thank you.

Yes.

I got that one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm going to tell everybody.

Can I tell everybody?

Sure.

So I got,

When I was working,

Doing the prayer list,

You guys,

I go through.

And I was getting that Franca had some really high level energies,

Angelic energies working with her.

But they were thinking about withdrawing because it was like,

She wasn't responding.

It's like,

They were thinking it's kind of like,

She's not ready.

Not ready.

So this is part of why I contacted her and said,

Hey,

There are these big energies helping you move into depth and supporting you.

And you,

You know,

You have to open,

Be ready for them.

You have to treat them well.

You have to treat them well,

You guys,

Otherwise they'll go,

Oh,

They're not ready.

I mean,

There's no judgment,

But they'll just go to go to somebody else who,

Who responds and is treating,

Treating them.

So this isn't Franca's fault.

This is,

This is what we're like.

So I said to Franca,

You know,

To contact them really,

And contact Amma,

And then ask to help responding to them,

Receiving them.

And just now,

Franca,

There was a very deep place in her heart,

That she softened.

And she'd softened in and now could receive them.

Yeah.

Receive this gift.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

See,

You guys,

We're never,

We're never judged or criticized.

But if we don't respond to high level help,

It will move on.

You know,

No,

They'll try again later.

They're happy,

Franca.

So good.

Keep going.

Maxi,

Sweet one.

How are you doing?

Oh,

Hey,

Um,

Yeah,

I was just busy with birthday.

So I just kind of birthday party with my daughter.

So I'm feeling into it now.

And I feel a lot of guilt coming up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Guilt.

And I've been dealing with jealousy a lot the whole week.

And,

And what you said about my kids.

I already had a little bit the feeling of being too much with Maxi.

It's so interesting.

And then you pointed it out.

But I just couldn't what to do with it.

Yeah.

But I heard your message halfway,

I will finish it.

And yeah,

I'm really kind of ashamed,

But also touched that you just wrote me and said,

Okay,

Watch out.

That's how it is.

Yeah,

Really touched by that.

Okay,

Good.

Okay,

That's the solution.

Yeah.

That's that that's your,

That's your doorway into being more loved.

It's like,

It's just like Franca opening up to the angelic energies and receiving them.

Yeah,

You receiving the love that's,

That's coming through,

Right,

That that Pramasutra would pick up on this and would bother to raise it.

Right.

It's like love coming through somebody who has nothing really to gain from offering it.

It's this unconditional love.

It touches our heart.

We open it,

Maxi,

That's all you need to do.

It's just,

It's just that you just open and you go,

Oh,

This universe is more loving than I realized.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It goes so many times already.

And it keeps surprising me that you write in those moments,

Or what?

Yeah,

A message from Amma is coming in right at this point.

So it's,

It's,

It builds my trust,

That they're really there.

And I don't really,

I don't even have to ask.

It just comes.

And that's really,

Yeah,

Touching.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

Sweet pie.

Believable.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I know.

It's I know it makes it real.

Yeah.

And then we can live it more.

And we can risk daring to love and sharing it.

Yeah.

It's,

It's,

It's,

This is my dream,

You know.

But the guilt I'm,

I know this about you.

And this is actually part of what creates the disconnect.

It's,

You know,

The guilt is always ego.

So it,

And it's always useless.

And often it comes from other lives,

Like our own lives,

Or sometimes we,

We have,

Like,

We had past lives with our kids,

Right?

There's leftover material that can happen too.

But I just,

I'm so hoping that you can just keep giving the guilt to Amma because,

Because you're a beautiful mama,

You know,

But we've all got blind spots.

It's like your kids are lovely.

I mean,

I said that from the beginning,

I saw their quality,

This kind of magic quality.

Like you must be doing something right.

It's just for you to realize that we can't really love our kids until we love ourselves more fully.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

And,

And,

You know,

Do things like just think,

Okay,

The prayer is really going to help.

Think Amma's working for you.

Premasut is working for you.

And it's,

I can feel this guilt though.

It,

It flattens you.

Yeah,

I know.

Yeah.

Just hold on a minute.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

Maxi,

The solution for you will be increasingly to explore the being energy rather than the doing energy.

But I know it's such a tall order because you're doing the training,

You're doing some training and so,

And the kids and everything,

But it's,

It's when we can act from,

From being like,

You know,

Yeah,

Because as long as you're in the doing mode,

It's going to kind of be like this,

It's going to be more caught in your ego.

It's when you just come from being and then you do from being.

Yeah.

You must know what that feels like sometimes,

Right?

You must have had that feeling sometimes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When have you had that feeling of kind of being in the flow and the last time I remember was after a call on January 1st.

I had like a blue moment and just,

Just like flowing.

Yeah.

But it was a short moment.

It was like a half a day.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's still,

And sometimes evening when I like,

When the day is finished and I know I did everything,

Then I have this feeling I can like,

Just let go.

But during the day,

It's hardly possible for me right now.

Right.

Right.

Well,

Just knowing it's there and knowing what it feels like,

And you can think about it,

Think about this is what I did a lot.

You guys,

I would dream about what it would be like if I was like more in the flow.

Do you know,

I would just contemplate it like lightly,

You know,

Just let my mind go there.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not it's not to fix or do anything.

It's just to think about contemplate a little bit.

Yeah.

That is the solution for you,

Maxie,

To move into that bit more in the being energy.

So just,

You know,

Keep,

Keep working on it.

I mean,

The more that you're getting how the love coming to you through this one,

It's like the more you'll get it from Amma too.

Do you know what I mean?

The more you'll get it in every direction,

The more you'll get the love coming from nature to us.

Yeah.

So just keep going.

Remember this taken this one 40 years,

You know,

I don't want to discourage anybody.

I'm hoping that you can do it in half the time.

Yes.

But even just knowing that there's a being energy you can play into that it doesn't have to be like this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I so wish for it because it's been for years for me.

So exhausting,

Like,

Especially on the weekends,

Like when I'm responsible for the day,

And I don't really know what's going to happen.

It kind of freaks me out sometimes.

So I get really anxious about it.

So I would love to change that to be changed.

Oh,

My God.

You get anxious about because you don't know what the plan is for the weekend,

Or?

Yeah,

For the weekend,

What the plan is,

And then there's like wishes for for three children and me,

And sometimes they don't go together.

So I have to make decisions.

And just,

Yeah,

Me out sometimes.

Like,

Oh,

God,

I don't want to decide anything anymore.

Just come and get me on,

I don't know,

Somewhere else.

Yeah.

Yeah,

No,

I can imagine.

Yeah.

I remember with the boys,

I was we were somewhere,

We were traveling or something.

And they were two tourist boys with completely different temperaments.

They would never,

We could never agree on anything.

So when it came to even strolling through the town,

I had one boy who is all for strolling through the town with me.

And then another boy wanted to do something completely different.

And it was like that all the time.

And I was just Oh,

My God.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

Just keep praying.

I mean,

The more you get the love coming through this one.

I mean,

That is,

You will notice is the more you get the love coming through.

The more you will allow love in your life.

That's how it works.

Okay,

That's you guys,

That is how it works.

That's how the love gets transmitted.

That's how it gets shared.

It's like,

You know,

People come along and they model it to us,

We go,

Oh,

It's real.

It's,

It's,

It's,

I mean,

It's not just Amma,

Any of us can do it.

Yeah.

Okay,

It's funny.

There's a,

This is why,

You know,

I think the human race just isn't gonna make it.

Because everybody's like going,

Well,

I don't know about this.

And I'm like,

You guys,

We're at the end,

Last call of the last call.

And I'm like,

There's a problem about modeling love,

Letting it in and modeling it.

It's like,

Okay,

This is toast for the human race.

Like,

Yeah,

Really?

Just just do it.

Okay.

Please,

Just model it,

Share it,

Receive it.

Yeah.

Blessings.

Okay.

And Corinne,

You had a lovely experience.

Do you want to talk about your experience?

Yeah,

I had a,

I was feeling kind of a little bit,

Because the rain had come,

It became dark,

You know,

You go,

Go to work,

All this stuff,

And you come out,

It's dark.

And so I've been feeling a little down.

And I went to acupuncture,

The day was totally gray,

You know,

Raining,

And I did have a long drive.

And then I drove into this dingy,

Kind of sketchy looking parkade,

Parked,

You know,

Parked in there,

It went in,

It's cold inside,

Like the whole thing.

I'm just like,

Ah.

And then afterwards,

I went back to my car.

And I was feeling like,

Oh,

This is okay,

This is good.

I'm feeling a little bit calmer,

All this stuff.

And I drove.

And when I was driving out,

There was like,

It was sunny,

It was just,

I drove out of the dark,

Like it felt like coming out of a cave.

Like it was just the sun was shining.

And that feeling that I had with like,

Relaxing,

It bloomed.

It was like,

Oh,

Wow.

It's gorgeous.

Like,

It was just magical,

The sun,

The like,

And then I was also on the on the freeway there.

So it was like,

I got the beautiful,

Like the whole,

The mountains,

The sun in the sky,

Like the fields,

Like it was just beautiful.

No traffic,

Like just no traffic.

I sure didn't notice like,

It was just gorgeous.

It was such a beautiful,

Happy experience.

That's great.

Was this like,

After getting the acupuncture?

Did you make a shift during that?

Is that what happened?

I think I did.

Because when I was walking out,

I felt calm already.

And then when I came out,

It just moved.

Yeah,

That's good.

I'm glad you're doing,

Doing that.

Getting that,

You know,

Acupuncture,

It can,

It can really help.

That's good.

And it's great to have that.

Because I,

When you wrote,

It was like,

I got this magical feeling of,

Of crispy sun and you know,

What it can be like,

I've had moments like that.

So I,

I really resonated with it.

Yeah.

Okay,

Sweet.

And,

Okay,

Thank you.

And Michael,

How are you doing?

Thanks for asking.

You know,

A little bit better.

I just,

Like I said,

You know,

These,

These health issues that are coming at me,

Kind of all of a sudden.

And I,

You know,

I don't know how serious they are,

If they're,

If they are,

They aren't,

You know,

I don't know,

I'm just going to get them checked out.

But it made me feel pretty despondent.

Just made me just made me feel sad.

And,

You know,

That came on the back of a,

Of a time where there was a few days where I,

I felt that I,

You know,

The world was full of love and grace.

And I really felt that.

And that,

You know,

That was really nice.

But then this kind of came in behind it.

So now I think I'm,

I'm on a bit of an island.

And I'm just,

In a way,

I guess I'm just waiting,

Or not,

Well,

Not waiting,

But I'm just not sure.

I'm just not sure right now.

You know,

I had a,

I had a very strong feeling yesterday.

I guess I kind of do these,

Sometimes I pray walking.

And for yesterday,

I was walking along,

It happened a few times.

And I just found myself,

And it wasn't conscious.

I found myself asking Amma,

If she could walk the path with me.

You know,

And that,

You know,

That felt really good.

So it's really,

It's,

You know,

It's really kind of mixed.

Right,

But,

You know,

That is what the journey is like.

So you have beautiful few days.

And then,

You know,

At the start of the journey,

At some point,

There will be a big downer that happens,

Michael.

So you've got like a health problem,

Possibly.

But it's inevitable.

I mean,

It's how the journey works.

And it's to integrate in the wisdom and the love.

It's like plants need the dark as well as the light to grow.

And,

You know,

I think that's a beautiful synthesis that you asked Amma to walk with you,

Because that is the integration of the initial kind of honeymoon period of the love.

Do you see?

Because I,

I've explained this countless times to you,

And you're really hooked on,

You know,

Progress means I'm happy.

And if I'm down,

Or there's trouble,

Then something's wrong.

And it,

It isn't that way at all.

Yeah.

You know,

I think I just have to stop expecting this or that if it's good,

Or it's bad.

That's my main,

That's my big hurdle.

Yeah,

Because you don't know.

I mean,

None of us know.

What's going to happen,

Right?

But anybody,

Any human being gets,

You know,

Challenged with health problems.

I mean,

You know,

It's not,

It's a tough gig when there's something that could be majorly wrong.

You know,

I mean,

I went through that breast cancer thing.

It was,

You know,

Hair raising.

But just keep,

You know,

With Alma walking with you,

It's like I said to you,

Even if you need some medical thing,

I have no concerns.

I have no concerns for you.

You know?

That's nice to hear.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It's true.

Yeah.

Yeah,

You might as well just let go and lean back.

So yeah,

Maxi's sending love.

Everybody's,

You know,

Everybody will be sending love.

Michael's got like,

Maybe a bit of a heart problem.

He doesn't know yet.

So lots of love to you and a heart,

You know,

The whole loving thing,

Right?

There it is.

Yeah,

There are some really despondent times,

Right?

There just are.

Yeah.

It helps to know that.

And it was almost like,

Okay,

One thing is okay.

But when it turns into more,

And suddenly it's like,

Wait a second,

You know,

Your whole system,

Maybe one.

Yeah.

But yeah.

Well,

It's a big,

You know,

A big realignment.

I think it's like almost every system of your body and your emotions and your psychology and your spiritual,

It's big realignment.

So it's showing up like this.

So many systems involved.

Yeah.

So Amma walking with you feels like the most important thing to hold on to.

You know,

That's all I want.

I felt that so strongly.

Yeah.

I feel her.

She's saying to me,

Tell Michael to be kinder to himself.

I'll try that.

Yeah,

And less demanding of yourself.

And she pulled out a plug.

It's like,

You know,

Sometimes when we've got like,

Long term complexes that are in how we have seen life.

Like I have sometimes during a meditation had have had a loving figure kind of pull out a plug.

Yeah,

Sort of something in me.

That was something that need to I need to grow out of.

And so that's what Amma was doing.

I feel it's it's pulling out the plug of some kind of way of looking at the world or some kind of complex or whatever.

And she just took away its source of power.

So I feel like it will be easier for you to just come into your heart more.

I think this is a big step into your heart,

Man.

It's good news,

Even though it's trouble.

Stay in touch.

Okay,

Let me know.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Blessings.

Yeah.

Sebastian,

You've been calling to me over the airways.

I just,

You know,

If it's got more than five letters,

I start going.

Anyway,

Yeah.

Hey,

Premasura.

I already wanted to contact you.

But somehow I didn't.

For me already,

The last weeks for several months are just going up and down.

At the beginning,

It was just one week like this,

One week like this.

Then it was the beginning of the week like this,

The end of the week like this.

And now it's in the morning,

This then between this.

So it's down.

It's very challenging.

And Monday or Tuesday,

I do not remember anymore.

Then I was after work,

I was coming home and I was not in a good mood.

And I tried to connect with all the beings somewhere around me,

Which I know,

The archangels and many more.

And then I really asked them,

If you really love me,

Please help me that I'm able to feel it.

Yeah,

Good.

I could feel it.

Wow,

That's fantastic.

It was a very touching moment.

And with a friend here in Berlin,

I started an exchange with Energy Healing and Soundball Healing.

And yesterday I spoke with him and then he told me,

Sebastian,

Actually,

That was not love from outside.

This is all love what you have within.

And you were just feeling what's coming out from you.

Well,

That's true,

Too.

That is.

Yeah.

And another funny thing is,

I was dreaming about you.

I heard all the stories from so many people dreaming about you.

And then I was thinking,

Well,

Okay,

I almost I never dream or at least do not remember.

And it was,

It was a dream.

Um,

We all were implemented.

Because you,

Um,

You suggested us to make a,

It's not a performance,

What we should do,

But it was that we were speaking on stage.

And there was an audio who was listening.

And we only met one day before the show.

And you were telling us what we are supposed to say to each and every one.

And I was so happy that I only had three sentences to say.

So even I was not making any notes.

I was thinking,

This is so easy.

I will remember.

I don't need to prepare.

And on the next day before the show,

I had to do an exam.

Don't ask me what for an exam I had to do.

It was very important.

And so after this exam to this show,

What we were supposed to do,

I was delayed.

I was delayed.

And I realized,

Oh,

Fuck,

I'm delayed.

Oh,

The show already started.

There's my time when I have to speak.

And maybe I will not make it.

And then I tried to remember what I was supposed to say.

Blank,

Nothing.

I was thinking,

Oh,

Gosh,

What should I say?

I'm staying there in front of I don't know how many people.

And then finally I reached and then I realized,

Well,

Because it was my time to say something and I was not there,

The show got break.

Everybody were waiting for me to arrive.

And then I was thinking,

But I don't know what I say.

It was.

I don't know.

And then I arrived and I couldn't find you because then I wish that you could remind me what I'm supposed to say,

But you were not there.

And another man,

I don't know whom he gave me a little paper just like this and giving it to me.

They were thinking,

Oh,

Super.

He felt that I'm lost.

So she wrote down what I'm supposed to say.

But then I was reading the first part were handwriting.

I could I could understand it.

The second part were printed with some bold words inside.

And the third part,

I do not remember,

But I don't remember what was written on this paper.

I only know it was English.

And then the stream stopped.

I only realized it was not what I was supposed to say.

This is hilarious.

This is really it's horrifying.

Horrifying dream.

OK,

So was this after the gentleman told us,

Speaking to you,

Reminded you that everything's coming?

No,

No,

No,

No,

No,

No.

This this was happening yesterday.

The dream were from Tuesday to Wednesday.

OK,

Because actually it does seem like a dream around kind of the big tension of all of that stuff outside.

I mean,

Where,

You know,

You're being organized with everybody into some show.

You're even being told what to say.

There's an exam you've got to like produce for that.

It it just feels like it's all a picture of the the the outside focus.

And you're going like,

Oh,

What was it I was supposed to say?

Do you do you see what I mean?

It's kind of like around like maybe a clearing of this outer conditioning.

It's what I wonder,

Even though it was me,

It was premisuda and we were doing a show.

But the other thing is I get timer people writing to me from inside timer who listen to us.

And they follow the satsangs and they feel like they know you guys.

So we are giving a show in a way,

You know?

Yeah.

Even though but I'm not writing your lines.

It was it was not acting.

It was you.

You you were guiding us.

You were telling us what was really our our contribution to to this.

It was not like like an actor to to perform something strange.

No,

No,

No.

OK.

OK.

OK.

So I told you like so the lines you you had been given were like for the truth of you.

OK.

OK.

And you'd forgotten them.

Mm hmm.

I forgot them because you're because of the outer focus.

The focus on the outside makes us lose track of the inside.

Very much possible.

I don't know.

It's just it's just what arose in me as you as you spoke.

Mm hmm.

It's interesting.

It's only three lines.

I mean.

You know,

Wise people,

They often do stop talking.

It's interesting.

I feel your distrust.

It's not distrust.

It's like you're scared of being disillusioned.

You're scared of being disappointed.

Mm hmm.

Yeah.

Right.

OK,

Good.

Blessings.

Yeah.

Many blessings.

We our hearts broke as little kids and we're scared.

It's really true that we're like that it's broken world and we're.

Permanently.

Broken,

You know,

It's just,

You know.

This is the hardest thing for me with you guys.

This is the thing that that it catches my heart strings,

Because what I did is after going through that trial by fire and my son healing from leukemia,

I knew that love existed.

OK,

I knew it.

So I stood there and demanded that I find it and feel it.

So even though I got tremendously discouraged sometimes.

And one time almost went right off the path.

That experience of unconditional love,

I could never turn from it.

You see.

So who have you had unconditional love from,

Sebastian?

Mama.

Mama.

But does it feel like that to you?

Well,

During the time I felt more close,

Yes.

And the distance I created by my own,

I know it,

But I don't at the moment to go through.

OK,

OK,

Good.

You know that you created it.

OK,

That's good.

OK,

Good.

Good,

Good,

Good.

I feel like now this is so interesting.

Just when you said that,

That the set of glasses was removed from your face there,

They were round and actually they were common during World War Two,

Sort of round,

Steel rimmed.

And then a dog came and was licking your eyes,

Slobbering over your eyes like,

You know,

The way dogs just love us and they slobber.

This dog is just slobbering all over your eyes.

So I think it's a healing image.

It is to help your viewpoint to soften,

To soften.

Yeah.

We're all scared like it doesn't exist,

Except I'm trying to think about what I just kept turning up.

But I wasn't focused on that love didn't exist.

It was sort of whether Pramasutra could actually embody it or not,

You know,

Or whether I was just going to be staying in my ego for my whole life.

I knew it existed for other people.

I wasn't sure that Pramasutra was going to get through it.

That's it.

You have a lot of love in your heart.

That's it.

Yeah,

It's beautiful.

It's beautiful.

I feel like that maybe you're going to feel that a little bit more.

Yeah.

You know,

Pramasutra had so many difficult days.

I don't want to tell you all this stuff.

It's sort of like I don't want to discourage you too much.

It's like it was just a matter of keeping going no matter what.

And the universe,

If you're open,

The universe will keep saving you.

Yeah.

Do you know what these glasses are referring to?

Did your dad wear glasses like that?

Well,

My father all my life has been wearing glasses,

But not this round.

Not the round things?

Yeah,

I don't know either.

And this dog is actually,

The dog's still there around you.

Maybe you should get a dog.

Well,

I grew up with dogs.

I grew up in the countryside and my parents,

We always had dogs.

And it was for me always when I wish to receive some love,

Then I connected and I was going to the dogs.

So I'm wondering that there is a dog.

Oh,

You're not surprised,

Eh?

But maybe it's one of the dogs who's passed over that's come to help maybe.

There were some I was very close to,

And even the moment dog my parents has,

Very close to her.

Sometimes she was the only reason why I was going to visit my parents,

Because I wanted to meet her again.

You're an honest soul.

I can understand that.

Yep.

Yep.

Could you get a dog?

Well,

I don't want to have a dog here in Berlin,

Not in this apartment.

It's not,

No.

I don't want this.

No.

It's not just because I want to have this life for a dog,

Which is not dog made.

No.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

This would be a cruel,

Egoistic human mindset to say,

Yes,

I want to have a dog.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Well,

Actually,

You know,

You're easier for this one to reach than you've ever been.

I think it's actually good you've been having the ups and downs because I actually think this is a healing of a kind of a numbing that you used to hide behind a bit.

Very dear.

It's just,

It's just very dear.

Yeah.

I know that everything is for my very well best.

And even I know that the universe is always there and having the protected hand and is,

And is even guiding me.

Even at the moment,

I'm preparing my trip to go to South America.

And I had this vision in 2022,

That I'm supposed to go to Brazil and or Colombia in the last and or in this year.

And even everything feels always so guided to get cheap flight tickets.

All my life,

Even with Amma,

I always found cheap flight tickets.

And it was always the time even going to her to meet her somewhere.

And now to South America,

Getting in touch with,

With people who are supporting some,

Some knowledge,

What is needed for me in that moment.

And everything is,

Is arranged.

This is what I'm.

.

.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm just.

.

.

And still that ego,

He still wants to,

To be the one who's planning,

Even what you were saying before.

It's all arranged before and we just can lay back and okay,

Let it happen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I feel Amma knows where,

You know,

I can't speak for her,

But I'm just getting the information that she knows we're speaking and she's just smiling.

Sebastian's just smiling with a lot of love,

Just huge love and huge understanding.

Right.

Right.

It's true,

You know,

I really am feeling this so strongly with Amma.

It was part of you that softened and then you,

A little bit of defense came up,

But it's okay.

She really is.

She's saying,

Just give,

Give it all time.

Just give it all time.

Yeah.

You know,

Sebastian,

When I started this work,

I would get this information and it would,

I would think to myself,

Am I making this up?

And then I would speak it and then I'd find out it was true.

Over and over again.

And it would be,

Am I going like,

Am I making this up?

And then I kept trusting it.

And now I know when stuff comes,

It's just true.

Right.

You have a lot of love in you and it's,

It's to love Sebastian.

But I can feel this love in you and how it's softening you on the inside.

And there's some,

There's some veils or barriers.

But they will dissolve over time.

It's all good.

It's all good.

I'm actually able to see you more clearly now.

You know,

Sometimes when with people,

It's like if their defenses are really up,

It's hard for me to get a sense of who they really are.

But as the defenses fall away,

I get more and more information.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's good.

You know,

Sebastian,

I mean,

People,

You know,

I've gotten happier and happier,

The older I've gotten.

With the way of wisdom,

You guys,

You get happier and happier as you get older.

Youth is harder with the way of wisdom.

You know,

If you want to stay asleep,

Youth is kind of easier,

But then you have a sad old age.

But with the way of wisdom,

Then youth is harder as you're,

You know,

Struggling to bring in the knowledge and walking your own path and everybody else doing something different.

Sometimes they're pointing and laughing at you and everything.

But then as you get older,

It gets better and better and better.

And you're just so glad you chose it.

Yeah.

That's to all the young people.

It feels like your trip is a really good idea.

It's a really good idea.

Do your trip.

But you know that,

Right?

I'm just,

It's a good idea.

I'm following this intuition what comes.

Yeah.

It was like a vision where I moved to Berlin and I had no clue why.

Yeah.

I think you're very brave that way.

Unusually brave that way that you really do follow your intuition and it's a hard path.

It could be a hard path.

I always ask for clear guidance.

And when in this moment,

This clear guidance is there,

Why should I be stupid not to follow?

Well,

This is the way how I see it.

And that's why I'm in Berlin.

Yeah.

And by the time I'm getting this understanding why I had to move here.

And even with Columbia,

I got this feeling and then maybe some plant spirits appeared afterwards in my life.

But even right now,

Then I step back that I said,

Well,

It was not the intuition at the beginning.

I had to go and I don't know why.

If it should be a plant medicine session,

Then yeah,

It can happen.

I'm open.

I'm ready,

But I don't have to force to find it.

If it comes to me,

This even yes,

Sitting back and let it happen if it's supposed to.

Yeah,

Just see what happens.

Yeah.

But the self understanding,

If you work with the fact that,

You know,

Maybe you'll be working with that,

You know,

The feeling that you didn't feel honored in your family,

Right?

Well,

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you agreeing with me?

Are you?

I'm agreeing with you.

Yes,

Yes.

Okay.

So this happens in the spiritual journey to some of those things come up in our relationship with God,

You know?

Okay.

This is,

You know,

Where I haven't been able to get through to you in the past,

But I'm trying to make your journey easier.

So for my example,

My parents didn't want me at the time.

It was a terrible time to have a baby.

They actively did not want me.

I carried that.

That colored my life so much.

It colored everything.

It occurred over and over again.

I was always working with it.

I still work with it sometimes.

But I was conscious that here it is again.

It's this replay from my childhood.

And that came from other lives.

I don't have to pay attention to it.

I just give it over.

It's a heightened,

Going heightened,

More conscious.

More focused,

A little more laser,

A little more.

Okay,

Here it is again,

But I don't have to buy into it.

Yeah.

So what it does,

It makes you,

It makes it hard for you to take yourself seriously.

Sometimes it makes it hard for you to take yourself seriously as a serious seeker,

As a worthy seeker,

As a deserving seeker.

Think about what I'm saying to you,

Because I am telling you the absolute truth.

And I'm telling you stuff that has prevented me from reaching you in the past.

It's okay,

Just think about it.

You don't have to accept it now.

But this is the gift that comes through me is this psychological precision.

And it's a precision that came from me working with premisuda.

Yeah,

With the mess that Janet Hobbs was.

And what I worked with that turned her into premisuda.

So there was a lot of psychological understanding that had to happen before this could turn this way.

And this is sometimes harder for people to,

They kind of want God without having to do this,

Without having to like take their psychology to heart.

Yeah.

And so they spin the wheels.

But it's okay.

But if you just understand that it's been hard for you in a way to take yourself seriously,

But you're turned a corner on this man,

Because I have been able to reach you at a whole new level now.

Which is my way of offering congratulations,

And a gold medal of honor.

Thank you to be so patient.

And we know that the medals of honor sometimes are few and far between.

As well,

The scalpel seems more common,

But this is very good.

Just keep going,

Your dear soul.

You got a lot of love.

Yeah.

And you're worthy.

Yeah.

Right.

Thank you.

Well,

Thank you.

Thank you for persisting.

You're also adorable,

You know,

It's just like,

Oh,

My goodness.

Okay,

Is there anybody else who'd like to speak up?

Susan,

Is there anything on your mind?

Hi,

Premasuda.

See,

Look,

I practiced.

My daughter reminded me that I say a lot of things incorrectly.

Like,

I say Tesla,

Not Tesla,

Things like that.

And I'm like,

Really?

I do that?

It's just funny.

I think it's from living in different places and playing around with words.

But anyhow,

I've had a really rough week.

I feel like I'm just in the mud and pulling,

Just pulling this giant weight through the mud.

And I'm really like,

I feel like I've been really hard on myself.

Like just try,

I want it to go away.

I want it to stop.

And I just I just feel like embattled.

Yeah,

With my ego.

Yeah,

Right.

Yeah.

So it's like,

I'm making myself go on long walks.

I'm making myself,

You know,

Eat well,

Instead of just enjoying all that I'm making myself like,

Make it you know,

And it's just been really hard.

It's been really hard.

My daughter's,

There's a fire that started up near her campus.

So there's all this drama going on.

Yeah,

But everything's okay now.

But like,

You know,

She's there,

I'm here,

Just like all that.

And then like,

Work stuff,

My relationship,

I want,

I really want to change my life in a big way.

Like,

I want a different life.

And I've been asking for grace.

Like,

I don't think I've been asking.

I think I've been demanding.

That's how I feel.

I feel like I'm just demanding everything and nothing's happening on my timeline.

But it feels like a fight,

You know?

Right?

Yeah.

Well,

Maybe just stop fighting.

Like,

Maybe don't go for a walk one day,

Maybe one day eat a chocolate cake.

I don't know.

Like,

You know what I mean?

Like,

Yeah.

Well,

It's like coming to satsang.

It's like,

Now I talk about like,

Now I see it.

I didn't see myself doing it.

I just felt the struggle this whole week.

And realizing I'm just pulling myself through the mud.

And I need gentleness.

And I'm wanting it outside,

Right?

And not being able to find myself.

Yeah,

Yeah,

You do.

Yeah,

Sweetie.

I mean,

You,

You know,

Your daughter's left.

I mean,

You're missing her,

Right?

You're a little concerned.

Although it's,

I saw I noticed that thing with the fire.

It's like,

It's not going to go very far.

So but yeah,

You know,

You've got that stress point.

And yeah,

You're telling yourself what to do way too much.

Yeah,

Way,

Way,

Way too much.

Yeah,

Way.

Yeah,

Way,

Way too much.

I mean,

You know,

You know,

I said to everybody,

I sometimes would just go to bed,

You know?

Yeah,

I just go to bed.

Myself tea all day.

Oh,

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like unplug a bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I see what I'm doing.

I mean,

That's my coping mechanism is to I can do this,

I can defeat this.

I'm going to get through this.

I'm going to make this happen.

You know,

And I think maybe it works sometimes.

But like,

No,

I don't feel any love.

Pure ego,

Right?

It's pure.

It's not.

Yeah,

I want to I want to be softer.

And I've been right.

Yeah.

Actually,

That helps.

Like after I said,

It's pure ego,

Right?

You went?

Yeah.

And it's kind of then it started deflating,

Actually.

So like you,

You called it,

You saw it,

You called it.

It's like just ego.

It's like,

Why listen to that stuff?

Just Yeah.

Yeah,

Just be with yourself.

Yeah,

Right.

Even your face is softened a little bit.

Yeah,

I feel it.

I've been looking forward to today.

Oh,

Sweet.

Yeah,

I needed help.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

You need like kind of a little bit of a hug and some nurturing rights mothering actually.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Totally.

It's what we're like in the West.

I know we just like soldier on.

I mean,

That's what I used to do like,

What is it?

Race,

Race and endure?

Yeah.

Right.

Like,

Don't we all know that race and endure like,

And then suddenly you're 90 years old and you go,

Well,

I just endured my whole life.

Where?

What's the point?

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Live it.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

And I and I'm also going to tell you,

You have permission to feel because that's what the ego doesn't doesn't want you to do.

Right?

That's what this is a cover up for.

To feel.

Yeah.

To feel.

Yeah.

To feel just feel and be with your feelings,

Whatever they are.

Be with your thoughts and your feelings,

Whatever they are.

Journal if you need to.

But there's some feelings that are wanting to bubble up and be acknowledged.

Okay.

And this is this is how we become bigger.

We acknowledge these feelings that we've been pressing down.

And you feel them and you become bigger and wiser and more complete.

Don't run from anything.

Yeah,

I feel that I feel like I've been trying to Yeah,

Block.

Black.

Yeah,

A lot of a lot of sadness or Yeah,

Sweetie pie.

That's you know what to be a seeker.

You don't want to do that.

If you're a seeker,

Like,

You know,

It's going the wrong way.

Yeah,

Yeah.

That's why we're in this mess of being about to drop like lots of bombs because we don't want to feel our feelings.

It's so stupid.

It's so stupid,

Because we're gonna get faced with them anyway.

Yeah,

Yep.

Right.

Funny,

It's a feeling part of I'm feeling you're scared to feel how hollow you feel.

But,

You know,

It's like,

As you feel that material,

What will happen is your soul will come in.

We feel all the stuff we don't want to feel and then your soul comes in.

Yeah,

There's feelings even about how you've lived your life that want to come up.

Just be with it all.

You know,

Just come to every sad setting and be with it all and and just share it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's just human.

All these things.

I remember going through a period when I was 49,

Between 47 and 49.

And man,

It just felt like my whole life was meaningless and everything.

And then my 50s.

I had this huge expansion.

So just go through everything.

Yeah,

I feel I feel it.

Like breaking apart.

Matt,

Like talking to you being here.

I feel like I can let the shell off.

But yeah,

I feel it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You let the shell crack.

It's like in the seed sprouts and the whole Yeah,

That's it.

Good.

Good work,

Sweetie.

You know,

Like the safe space,

Right?

Like,

I'm really afraid of those feelings.

Like,

I feel like they're going to destroy me.

That's my conditioning.

Right?

Yeah.

And like being here.

I feel safe and held.

And I do ask Amma to hold me and I do ask for help.

I just need a little more,

I guess.

Thank you.

This is this is the this is about the most exhilarating thing you can do to have a loving group.

It just speeds the journey so much.

Like,

I wish I knew you 20 years ago.

I know.

But remember,

I wasn't from a pseudo I was back then.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm I'm grateful now,

Too.

Yeah.

Well,

Thank you for coming alongside.

It's like wonderful.

It's good work.

That's good work.

And everybody feels like this.

It isn't just you.

Like,

That's everybody.

Everybody has these feelings they they don't want to feel.

And and we have these shells and they and they they crack.

I mean,

Sweetie,

Believe me,

Everybody at the Satsang has felt like you do.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Good.

Thank you.

Well,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Blessings.

Blessings.

Anna or Ann,

Have you guys got anything on your mind that you want to talk about?

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

These are my last days here in the ashram.

Yeah.

I've I've been having these wonderful experiences now at the end of my stay.

People are so incredibly kind and friendly to me.

Because in the beginning,

I had these really different experiences.

I know.

I know.

That's so cool.

That's so cool.

And and you know what changed for you,

Right?

No,

No.

She doesn't know what has changed for her.

It is a big comedy because you change them.

You change.

Okay.

Yeah.

When we make a shift,

Completely different things happen to us.

Yeah.

This is so beautiful to be able to experience all these things so directly here.

Yeah,

Because now you've experienced the connection between,

You know,

How things can change depending on like you're the point of power.

So when you change,

Everything changes.

So now you've had this experience.

You can always keep working and purifying yourself.

When you have difficulty.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And remember,

I'm not wanting to rain on your parade.

It's fantastic.

It's fantastic what you've done.

I'm just wanting you to see and because you have needed to see this for years.

Good.

Right.

The spiritual journey is very,

Very humbling.

And Anne has got a gold medal from Prama Sutta for continuing through.

Nothing stops her.

This woman has faced incredible levels of pain and nothing stops her.

She keeps going.

My hat off.

Truly.

I've never seen it in anybody like you apart from Prama Sutta.

That ability to walk through incredible pain and keep going.

So you can understand why I'm so happy that you're actually learning this because now the pain can go down.

You don't have to feel the pain anymore.

Yeah,

You get it.

When you make this connection,

Life becomes so simple.

So Anna and Anne are coming tomorrow morning for a satsang.

So I'm going to say goodbye because we'll be talking and I just want to ask Saskia about how she's doing.

Saskia,

Sweet one.

How are you doing?

Hi.

I'm okay.

It's everything that has been said.

Excuse me.

In the satsang was talking out of me.

I could really follow what everybody said.

So thank you.

I feel like I'm being born.

Yeah.

I'm not sure if I'm the mother or the baby.

It's like,

You know,

In that when you say we can see the head during birth.

That's how I feel on the one side and all the ups and downs.

It feels like that and all I try to do.

I mean,

I know from the birth of three boys nothing helps.

You just have to surrender and I'm trying to do that and it works sometimes.

It works sometimes not.

But I have that deep feeling it's going to happen.

It's going to happen the way it happens.

I don't feel like it's powerless or I'm in the power of something.

I just feel like it is what it is and it's okay.

And at the same time,

I feel like my whole male structure is breaking apart in my life.

And that's sad like with my dad in the hospital.

My dad was a very yeah,

I made a picture.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

And he's much better.

Thank you.

But that's one thing and then with Michael and his health things and then there is also a professional connection in Germany that's like a male connection.

For me,

That is where I have to make decisions right now and it feels like that is all falling away and breaking down,

Giving birth to a new.

And it's interesting when you talk to Sebastian.

That's kind of the new male in me being born.

I see some parallels.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's where I'm at right now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I have defenses a little bit up because of that thing in Germany.

I can't really open up about that right now.

And then I also have my ego coming in and out.

Um,

Yeah,

But there is a connection underneath to that happened during the dragon blast,

Which I can get back to.

So that kind of that holds me in a way.

And then I also have Amma all through the satsang.

She's kind of nudging me,

Gently pushing me in the middle.

She does that a lot to me.

That's not a lot.

She did that another time before,

Where I thought she wanted me to speak,

But she wants me to go in the love.

I feel like there's a lot of light in the center of this satsang and kind of wants me to go in there.

Right.

That makes sense to me.

Right.

And it's also the center of you.

Yes.

In the center of you.

Yes.

It's I could feel it's a,

Yeah,

It's kind of busy and tense,

A little complicated.

Yeah,

Heavy.

I,

Yeah.

I think part of the heaviness is because my heart hurts.

My heart hurts about all that stuff breaking apart.

And I'll need time and I take time to feel that and be sad.

Yeah,

You're trying to explain yourself to the teacher and defend against the teacher.

And it's interesting because I was just about to say to you,

The answer is to become very pure of heart.

And that answer you gave me was a defensive explaining to the teacher.

It isn't useful.

Really pure of heart,

Saskia.

Don't try to figure it out.

I mean,

You're not doing anything wrong.

It's all good.

The purity of heart is what you were trained out of and you're scared of.

But it is what this work is.

That's what almost maybe pushing you to the center of the center of the love.

It comes from great purity of heart.

And I think you tend to feel that you have to defend yourself,

Protect yourself a lot.

And so and so you're figuring things out and everything.

It's like you're lovely,

Saskia.

You're just lovely.

But what gets lost is a very simple purity of heart.

Right.

And that's what I mean,

I can't speak for Alma,

But that's what I feel is she's steering you to and saying,

Play there,

Play there.

You know,

Observe all these things that are going on with you.

But it's like do it from not damage control or whatever,

But just from purity of heart and just noticing what you're in.

That you're wanting to become more aligned with your truth.

And you can have your purity of heart and live here on this planet.

Yeah.

Good.

That makes you feel better,

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is what Pramasutra models.

That as a suburban single mother,

Confused person,

Just kept going and lives in purity of heart.

That's it.

You can too.

This is what this is all about.

But you don't have to protect yourself.

It's kind of watch what you do to avoid this purity of heart and watch how complicated it gets for you.

And how you feel it's not safe.

But,

You know,

It's like Pramasutra made it safe by stepping forward in and demanding that that a life could be lifted.

We make the path,

You guys.

It's the more of us walking forward in this,

The more we make a path that other people can follow.

There was no path at all for Pramasutra.

Everybody said,

You're crazy.

It was only this intense purity of heart that kept me going.

I couldn't stand living any other way.

It was like I'd rather jump off a bridge than not live this way,

No matter what happened to me.

Yeah,

I can't reach you.

It's okay.

And you're not doing anything wrong,

Sweetie.

But I'll tell you,

The answer is to bravely come forward with impurity of heart.

Yeah,

You look like a very scared little girl right now.

Yeah,

But I think you're the one you're going to have to cook with it,

You know.

It's a version of what I said to you.

It's like when you came for the body work,

And I tried to reach you so hard,

And you just greeted every attempt for me to make,

I was trying to commune with you,

And you just gave me defenses.

And it's a variation.

It's a variation on the same thing,

But you're not to be criticized or faulted,

Sweetie.

Hey,

Listen,

I was giving some home truths to some mums earlier.

It's not just you that gets this.

This is Pramasutra's way.

It's like I cut out the disease with the scalpel.

It's like the disease is this trouble with purity of heart.

And you just have to be very patient with yourself.

And you know,

I'd be scared too if my husband was having health problems.

Say,

I won't be comforted.

I won't be comforted.

Yeah,

Because I know there's no comfort,

Really.

Because I know there's no comfort,

Really.

Right,

Right.

Yes,

Sweetie,

You see,

That's how your child feels.

And you know,

All of these people listening,

Do they all know what this is like?

And does this sound familiar,

Anne?

All of us,

It's not just,

I'm poking.

And this is what we feel like underneath,

You know?

Yeah,

And it just seems,

Yeah,

Look,

There's a heart for you.

That's this,

Sweetie pie,

This,

Everybody,

This is what I bang up with everybody.

See,

There's hearts for you,

Sweetie.

Yeah,

Lots of them there.

Yeah,

We've just got these scared,

Hopeless little kids.

Yeah.

Okay,

Good.

Good.

I can feel the warmth of the group sending love to you.

Oh,

My goodness.

There's such heartfelt love for you because they know this in themselves.

And they know how we can so feel this,

How convincing these feelings are.

Right.

How are you,

Sweet one?

I feel,

It's nice to be in the group.

And I also feel alone.

It's both.

Right.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

It's very honest.

Right.

Yeah,

It's just a deeper healing that's needed,

Sweetie.

It's just,

You're seeing a deeper level of that separation coming up.

It's okay.

My heart feels better.

My heart's not so pressed together before.

It feels a little better.

Yeah.

I just feel very sorry.

I just feel very alone.

You know,

There's a feeling what I'm afraid of,

Is that that gets stronger.

Just feeling alone.

Okay.

So,

You guys,

You know,

This is what it's like on the journey.

So when separation's up,

We just feel it.

We lose track.

We don't think,

Oh,

Here's separation showing itself.

We're just lost in it.

We're like,

I'm so alone.

It's so terrible.

And it does feel that way.

I'm not ridiculing.

But we go,

Oh,

But it's just separation showing itself,

Sweetie.

It's just coming up to be cleared.

It'll either be cleared now or another time.

But it's just,

Can you just be with it and going,

Okay,

This is the separation against God that I've been carrying my whole life.

And here it is.

And I don't have to buy into it as absolute truth.

I can feel it.

But it's just how I'm feeling.

And I know that everything is one.

The self-realized person has gotten through this.

Okay,

They went through this,

And they find that they are one with everything.

Right.

So you're just a step along the way towards that.

Right.

Good to not be holding on to it as absolute truth.

It's good to feel it and go,

Okay,

This is separation.

This is coming up to be healed.

And to be reminded by someone like me that the self-realized person doesn't feel it anymore.

And that's why they're so happy.

Like,

It's a joke,

You guys,

It's like,

That's the big secret.

They don't feel separate anymore.

That's why they're so happy.

Right.

And that's why they can help other seekers,

Because they get the information,

Because they're united.

And it's like,

You're just part of me,

Saskia.

I don't see you as separate.

You're just part of me who's caught in separation.

Right.

How are you feeling right now?

Quieter,

Quieter,

More quiet.

And what you're saying makes a lot of sense.

Right.

Okay,

So we have to come out of the injured child in order to get it intellectually.

When you get it intellectually and go,

Okay,

This is just separation,

Then you are actually more in truth,

Because you shifted more into truth.

So you can stand here and go,

Okay,

This is separation.

It's not the end of the world.

Right?

This is what I think Westerners really need help with,

Is help with separation,

Because we all feel it so strongly.

Right.

Yeah.

But it's very healable.

It's like,

It was,

It was my,

I mean,

I never thought I would get through it,

You know,

At some points.

Yeah.

I tried to do it with the intelligence,

But I tried to do it with the head,

Without going into the feeling.

Yeah,

That doesn't work.

Yeah,

You try to do it with the head,

And like,

Use your head for the discernment of,

Okay,

I'm in separation.

But Sweetie Pie,

We just sometimes have to walk through this shit.

It's not solvable.

It's just solvable,

Because your soul brings you through it,

It changes.

You just keep talking to Amma,

And your soul will bring you through it.

Yeah.

Right.

So how are you right now?

I'm okay.

Yeah.

It just dawns on me that it's something,

You know,

It started when the kids left the house,

This separation feeling,

And it kind of was building up.

Well,

You know,

Mums always have a broken heart for about a year after kids leave,

It's kind of how it is.

You know?

Yeah.

So you're,

You're in the heartbroken period.

And now Michael's maybe got a health challenge.

So it's a lot.

Oh,

Gentleness.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

Okay,

Sweet ones,

It's time to go.

Blessings,

Blessings,

Blessings.