Opening your heart to wholeness.
This meditation is for parents or would-be parents who carry a deep loss whether through death,
Adoption,
Abortion,
Infertility,
Or a longing.
That never found form.
You belong here.
You are safe to feel.
Degree.
And to begin to rewrite the story you carry.
Find a comfortable position.
Be lying down.
Or seated with your feet on the floor and your back fully supported.
Allow your hands to rest on your thighs.
Your palms can be up and open or turned down and connected.
Notice the weight of your body where it meets the chair or the floor.
And allow your shoulders to soften,
Your face to relax.
Begin by noticing your breath.
Breathe in and out.
Without trying to change it.
Observe the rise and the fall.
I invite you to gently start to lengthen your exhale so that each out breath helps you settle a little bit more deeply into your body.
With each inhale,
Invite safety,
Connection,
Belonging.
With each exhale,
Release tension,
Fear,
And the need to fix anything right now.
Bring to mind the shape of your loss.
The child you held.
Child you longed for.
The child you released.
The child who left too soon.
Allow the image to be clear or as soft as it needs to be.
Notice the feeling in your chest.
Space in your empty arms.
Allow yourself to name that emptiness without judgment.
As you hold that feeling.
Remind yourself.
You are safe.
You are a parent.
You belong.
Let those words rest in your body like a steady hand on your shoulder.
Breathe into the place that aches and offer the simple permission to be seen.
Imagine the earlier version of you who first felt this loss.
Younger.
Rower perhaps.
More alone.
Allow them to sit beside you or stand before you.
Ask silently or loud.
What do you need?
Feel whole.
Scene.
And accept it.
And listen.
Now that you've listened and heard,
Offer them what they have asked for.
Maybe it's wrapping your arms around them.
And you can do that by wrapping your arms around your belly.
Or placing a hand over your heart.
Or speaking the words that earlier version of you can hear them.
You are loved.
You are seen.
You are not to blame.
Allow your voice to be steady and kind.
If the words do not come,
Let your touch be the message.
Now imagine that earlier version of yourself growing,
Maturing into who you are today.
Caring their needs met,
Their grief witnessed,
Their heart a little more whole.
See how they move differently,
How their story shifts with tenderness that replaces the blame,
The shame,
The silence.
Notice what changes in your posture,
In your face,
Within your breath.
Ask yourself.
What story do I want to carry forward?
Not to erase the loss.
But to hold it as part of who I am.
A thread in this tapestry of my life.
Invite you to speak a short sentence that feels true and freeing.
For example,
I am a parent who loves deeply.
My loss is part of my life.
And does not define me.
Whatever your statement is,
Your sentence,
Repeat it slowly.
Three times allowing it to sink in.
A little deeper.
A little bit more.
Authentically.
Each time.
Sit with the feeling of being both tender and whole.
Bring one hand to your heart.
And the other to your lower belly.
Feel the warmth.
In the steady rhythm.
Of your breath.
Your body.
Beneath your hands.
Allow this contact to remind you that your identity as a parent is real.
And that you can use it as a springboard for what comes next.
Take three slow,
Deep breaths.
On the last exhale,
Imagine carrying the revised story forward.
Grief honored.
Love intact.
A new openness to wholeness.
When you are ready,
Gently wiggle your fingers and toes.
You have honored what was lost and opened space for what remains and what may yet be.
This is Sandra Menzies,
Supporting you as you tell your story,
Your way.
