109. Setting Intentions: 5 Ways To Reframe Your Goals

All of the resolutions we make and the things that we decide we want to become,

It's that process of really knowing who you are,

Knowing what you're made of,

Failing,

Falling,

And it's how you get up again that you say,

Wow,

I know who I am and because I have that strength and I still have that desire,

You then go on with your intention.

So we're going to invite people to come up on stage and ask a question.

If people want to start to line up here in the center aisle,

We'll go through as many questions as we can.

I'm going to get us kicked off with the first question.

So spinning off of life audit,

Right,

We all just did 30 days of Virgo and 30 days of work and setting goals for the year.

You must coach many,

Many people through goals and hear people that set goals and see them fall off the bandwagon all of the time.

So what's your best advice to somebody who set a goal and is starting to struggle to find a way to manifest it or keep on it?

What do you see?

Where do people fail and how can they change that around quickly?

I think when people create an intention or a goal,

And they're different,

Right,

Goals are really lists,

We have plans,

Intentions are the thought behind the things you want to do.

And so if they're not aligned,

Chances are you're going to start out with a thud rather than a bang.

So first I think is to really check why you want what you want and make sure it's aligned with your true essence and coming from the right place.

The second thing is I think often we decide,

Okay,

Now I have the energy or now I have the momentum,

I'm really going to change this now,

And we jump all in and we think that it has to be like we have to move mountains immediately.

We have to be from this extreme to the other extreme or we fail.

So I think it's to manage our expectations and be realistic.

Start small,

Take small step after small step,

And eventually that will lead to great change.

So I think it's those two things,

Check your intentions and manage how you begin,

Really.

The thought that came to mind is that assuming the goals that we're setting and the way we want to go is truly important to us,

Then it has to be something that we're never willing to give up on.

So knowing that in life anything worthwhile doing will always come with setbacks and with challenges and some days we're doing it well and some days we're doing it not well at all,

I think sometimes what happens is that our desire isn't strong enough to begin with or we don't have enough clarity actually on what we need to be pushing towards and therefore when certain roadblocks come,

They can veer us off the way.

There's an interesting Kabbalistic teaching and that is,

And I think this maybe is the key for Rosh Hashanah,

But really throughout life,

That a person always receives what they desire in their truest and deepest place.

The Kabbalists ask the question,

Why is it so often people pray for things,

People ask for things,

And it doesn't manifest in their life.

And they explain that that's because their soul,

They don't truly,

Truly,

Truly desire.

Monica mentioned earlier today,

I think it was Monica,

That you have to desire in the deepest place of your soul.

You think it was Monica?

I think it was Monica.

Was it you?

Yes,

It was Monica.

And I think really it's not,

You know,

We're on Rosh Hashanah,

But as we said this is true in life always,

That the reason we don't accomplish certain things or the reason we don't receive certain things is because it's an also desire.

It's not a deep and strong desire.

And therefore I would begin at ascertaining the desire itself.

One thing that the Kabbalists guarantee,

If you have a true desire,

If it's something that you completely and passionately desire,

You'll receive it.

All those other things that we decide that I think I might want to do this,

Or I think I might want to do that,

They almost never manifest because they never coming from the truest most complete desire that we have.

And therefore,

And I can say in my own life I found this,

That the things that are truly fundamental to my being and a desire that flows from that,

The path is never straight,

But almost always you're able to manifest it.

And therefore what I would say to all of us who are hopefully making both commitments and plans with this great light that we're all receiving on Rosh Hashanah is make sure that you really uncover your truest desires.

Because if something is truly at your core your desire,

You will absolutely and completely accomplish it.

Again,

Not in a straight line,

But perseverance and true desire,

You will be able to manifest it without any doubt.

And it's very similar to the story last night,

Julian Kopeceki,

When her father said if you have a resolve to succeed you will eventually get there.

And I think that that's really something we should all internalize and say,

Okay,

How much are we certain no matter what we're not going to deviate from the desire that we have.

And another thing I often say is anything worth doing is worth doing messy.

Not well,

But messy.

You will fail,

You will fail again and again and again and again.

And it's through that failure that's really the making of you.

To that failure that you really learn and you know what you're made of.

And really part of that whole,

All of the resolutions we make and the things that we decide we want to become,

It's that process of really knowing who you are,

Knowing what you're made of,

Failing,

Falling.

And it's how you get up again that you say,

Wow,

I know who I am and because I have that strength and I still have that desire,

You then go on with your intention.

Introduce yourself.

It takes bravery,

You applaud.

Thank you.

Okay.

Hey,

Michael and Monica.

Sounds kind of irreverent.

Mr.

And Mrs.

Berg,

How you guys doing?

No,

Michael and Monica.

Michael and Monica.

Yes.

Oh,

Okay.

So.

So wait,

What is your name and where are you from?

I'm Dan Wheeler.

I'm from Maryland.

Silver Spring,

Maryland.

I listen to you guys' podcasts all the time and the Weekly Energy Boots too.

So my question,

I had two questions.

Well,

I had like eight questions,

But then I condensed it to two questions and then he was like,

We got to pick one or the other.

So I'm going to make it like an A and a B.

So it's really one question.

Sure.

Okay.

Semicolon,

Comma,

Dash.

I'm trying to like.

Space.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Parentheses.

So the two topics,

I'd be like a perfect human if I wasn't so angry and addicted.

Right?

And then I'm like,

Those two things that like screw everything up.

Then I'm like,

Oh no,

Like I got a new soul.

And then like 30 seconds later,

I'm like pissed off.

Like I don't have it anymore.

I'm like,

It's gone.

So I got to wait till next year.

So I'm trying,

Michael.

I call you Mike in my head.

Oh,

Really?

Okay.

Because I have my conversations with him like,

Mike.

Okay.

So Mike,

Michael,

Michael,

Michael.

Michael,

Michael.

Michael,

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

My question is,

What's your like thing for like anger?

Because I get,

It's like,

You know what I mean?

And I'm like,

No,

I'm studying Kabbalah.

I'm trying to be,

And then my wife's like,

Dude,

You're studying Kabbalah.

And she's like,

I'm waiting for it to kick in.

And then addictions.

I'm waiting.

So comma and addictions,

Specifically,

Well,

Weed,

Right?

Okay.

Is it okay to say that?

It is.

Okay.

Nothing harder than that.

Just like the regular weed.

You know what I mean?

Nothing harder than that.

Most of the time,

Nothing harder.

No,

I'm joking.

Okay.

So those are the two.

That was A and B.

One question.

Wait,

Wait,

Wait.

No,

No.

I want to hear more about the addiction.

So how does that.

.

.

I want to hear more about the anger.

I'm just.

.

.

You can stand up your prison time.

I mean,

I guess if I'm addicted to getting angry,

I can put that together.

And then you need to weed.

And I just like being high,

Man.

I just like it.

So I'm like,

I'm not supposed to do it because it's just like a shortcut,

Right?

And the short circuits.

But then I'm just like,

You know,

I scanned so hard,

But then I'm like.

.

.

So I'm trying to figure out like,

Yeah,

But then I'm like,

Well,

I just want to get high.

So I'm not supposed to do it.

And I'm like,

Yo,

I need to talk to Michael about it.

Because I'm like,

Am I not supposed to do this?

So.

.

.

And Monica too.

I need to talk to you about it too.

No,

No.

Mike is going to take this one.

Oh,

Mike.

Oh,

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

So first of all,

Thank you,

Dan.

I was very entertained by your question.

Very,

Very.

I think all of us were.

Thank you.

Yes,

Yes.

So.

.

.

Dan,

By the way,

What sign are you?

Wait,

Let's guess.

Capricorn.

Capricorn.

Oh,

Really?

Interesting.

I wouldn't have guessed that.

Yeah,

Interesting.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

So.

.

.

If we run out of people,

You can get in line again and ask another question.

So that's a lot.

I'll talk about anger first,

I think.

I really want to hear about the weed,

Though.

From me or from Dan?

Oh,

From me.

So.

.

.

Well,

I would say.

.

.

You know,

Every once in a while you meet certain people with different tycoons,

As we call them,

Right?

That you don't have,

Right?

So for instance,

Just using an example,

For me,

Anger isn't a very prevalent one.

But the reality is,

Every one of us has something.

For Dan,

It might be anger.

For me,

It's something else.

For every one of us,

It's something else.

And it's really kind of related to the first question.

The question is,

How much do you desire?

It's that simple.

It's really that simple.

And it's not just desire,

I want more blessings in my life,

Because somebody might say,

No,

I'm fine,

Especially if he or she is taking a weed.

They might be settling for less.

But that's not why we're here.

We're not here only to have more and more blessings,

Which is of course part of it.

It's also that each one of us has a tremendous amount of light,

As we mentioned today,

That our soul needs,

That the world has been waiting for billions of years for me to reveal my soul.

And I want to make a little bit of a diversion here,

Because this is something that I was thinking about during the night connection.

You know,

On the first day of Rosh Hashanah,

People are very excited.

It's easier usually to be investing effort.

And then on the second night,

As in anything in life,

The second,

The third,

The fourth,

It's not always as easy to be as enthusiastic about it as invested.

But I mention this a lot,

And it should be mentioned and remembered a lot.

Raph Branwine,

The Rav,

My father's teacher,

Taught us something that is fundamental in every area of life.

The greatest light,

The greatest light is always going to be in those places that are either more difficult,

That are where most people give less importance.

In the connection that we made before,

There's a verse,

Mevakshei Pannecha,

Those who are living with a constant desire to be connected to the light,

To the Creator,

And to manifest their soul's purpose.

And I often don't know,

It's interesting,

You know,

I always think about it,

You know,

When we're giving lectures on kabbalah.

Com,

When we're in front of a group,

A large group of students,

You know,

Where's everybody at in their spiritual desire,

I would call it.

And I always,

At least aspire,

Desire that our students,

That those who are awakened to the wisdom of kabbalah,

To the path of the center,

See themselves as not just as another person who wants some spirituality and wants,

You know,

A little bit more in their lives,

And I'm sure there are students like that.

But the real people that I get excited about,

The real students that I get excited about,

Is when you sense that there is this real thirst,

This real desire,

Not just for more blessings and more light and so on,

But to reveal the purpose of their soul in this room.

And if you really understand that and accept that,

Then assuming that your tikkun,

Part of it is anger,

And mine is something else,

And yours is something else,

There's no two ways about it.

I can be a spiritual person and get angry,

I can be on a spiritual path and get angry,

I cannot be with great desire,

The greatest desire to reveal the light of my soul in this world if I accept anger as a consistent and ever-present part of my life and not overcoming it.

Now again,

It doesn't mean it's easy,

Your tikkun and our mighty kun,

Everybody's tikkun is going to be that part that is the most challenging.

But for me again,

It's a binary decision.

There's no way that any one of us accomplishes the purpose of our soul without a tremendous investment of work.

I gave a Limur about this some time ago that Ravashlak says,

The singular differentiator between those of us who will actually accomplish the purpose for which our soul came into this world and those who will not is one word,

One ancient Hebrew word,

Yegea.

How much difficult and challenging work do we invest in our transformation,

In our tikkun?

So this isn't a sort of an easy answer,

But I hope that not just for you Dan,

For all of us it's an awakening on this rosh Hashanah to say,

I am of those who desire everything.

I am of those who desire to completely,

Completely reveal my light that the world,

That humanity has been waiting for.

And I know that I have to find those things that are most difficult,

Most,

Most difficult and attack them and fail and attack them again and fail and attack them again.

Because I will not settle as the Rav told us last night,

The Kabbalists don't settle.

I think one of the biggest mistakes people who are in some way on a spiritual path is that there are the things that they want to work on and there's this one thing or these two things that I don't even want to look at or it's too difficult or I've tried and I've failed.

Kabbalists teach that the negative side will allow us to be such a beautiful person,

Spiritual person in all these other areas.

Just the one thing we actually came to this world to do,

It won't let us attack,

It won't let us transform.

So for all of us,

And Dan thank you for the question,

But for all of us I think it's an important awakening on this social channel.

I have to say first I want to be of the few that actually accomplish completely what my soul came into this world to accomplish and I really,

Really awaken that desire.

And second I understand that that means that I have to go after my tikkun which will be the one,

The two,

The three things that are the most,

Most,

Most difficult.

And third that I will invest tremendous effort,

Effort after failure,

Effort after failure,

Effort after failure so that I can actually accomplish the purpose which my soul came into this world.

So that's super,

Super deep.

Let's bring it,

I think there's two things that are really motivators for change.

One is fear and the other one is understanding what's behind our actions.

So I'll ask you a follow up question.

What does the Zohar say about anger?

Scary stuff.

That's right.

The Zohar says,

Again,

So let's go a little bit more deeply into anger.

Why do we get angry?

Why do we get angry?

Because something is happening that I know,

Think,

Desire shouldn't be happening.

But that thought process actually tells us I don't trust in the light of the Creator.

Because if I trust in the light of the Creator,

It means that everything that is coming into my life is not just okay or maybe okay,

It is actually perfect for me.

And then how can I ever possibly be angry,

Disappointed,

Upset about anything that is happening that he or she is doing to me that is happening and coming into my life?

Because certainty means that everything is from the light of the Creator.

And if it's from the light of the Creator,

It must be for my benefit.

And therefore not only can I not be upset,

Should I ever never be upset,

But I should be so excited and appreciative for every good or to my mind things that I wouldn't want that enter into my life.

That's real certainty.

So the Kabbalists teach,

The Baal Shem Tov says that anger is one of the greatest manifestations of the ego,

One of the greatest manifestations of lack of certainty.

And one cannot be connected to the light of the Creator with that level of ego.

So all of that is just to say again as a motivation.

And even,

I don't know if you've been in homes or places where there's been anger or violence or any manifestation of anger,

But you actually feel it in the room but also on the walls.

And the Zohar says that the walls actually hold onto that energy and create entities that then go with you through your day.

So being angry here and there,

You add that up throughout the year and your reality is going to feel and look very differently.

And I've experienced that firsthand many times.

Final side story,

We once stayed in a home,

A friend's house.

We were in a different part of the world.

I'm not going to give too many details,

But we were out of town and we stayed and they were fighting a lot,

Really not a successful couple.

We stayed in their house and in their room and we fought,

I mean,

We've never fought over nothing.

I don't know what we're fighting about,

But we were fighting hard.

And by the third day,

I'm like,

We're leaving now.

We're getting out of here.

I don't care where we're staying.

We're going to a hotel.

We've got to get out of here because this is not even us.

We weren't even fighting about like,

This is not real.

We left and then nothing.

We felt nothing.

We were fine.

It was not even our energy.

Right.

So that's one thing on anger.

But I think another thing is that often we take our reactions very seriously.

We take our emotions very seriously,

Whether it's sadness,

Anger,

Anxiety,

Fear,

Whatever it may be.

And we think now I'm an angry person or I'm a sad person when in reality,

Emotions are just indicators.

So if you have an emotion,

Let's use anger.

Right.

So it's coming out and it's basically any of those negative emotions.

Right.

First to say,

OK,

There's something underlying here that I actually need to do for myself,

Whether it's speak up,

Whether it's be proactive,

Whether it's invest more in my connection to the creator and my certainty or know myself better,

Have self-awareness,

That emotion and especially if it's coming up repeatedly is there to teach you something that you need to know about yourself.

The second thing is when it comes about,

It's a victim response.

Sadness,

Anger.

Anger is I'm in justice and I can't do anything about it.

I'm so angry.

Sadness is I have no control.

Everything's going to happen to me.

I'm a victim to life.

Of course,

You should be sad sometimes and you should be angry sometimes.

But even with those emotions,

We know mothers against drunk driving.

They use their anger to create powerful change in the world.

So emotions are necessary.

It's when they have a hold on you.

And then I will address the weed part.

Of course,

You want to smoke weed because you're stressed out and you're angry.

So if you're less angry,

You're going to smoke less.

And it's not even – I don't even care if you get high or not.

In reality,

It's how you feel about getting high because you know you're using it because you're angry and it calms you.

You deal with the anger.

You'll get high but you're going to use it when you're happy just to get even higher,

Right?

And that's the difference.

And I think that really it's such a great – great questions.

Use your – whatever has a hold on you,

Whatever that emotion is that really you don't feel great about.

Understand it's teaching you something.

It's telling you something.

And be able to transform that and say,

Okay,

Really what is behind this?

What do I feel I have no control over?

Which is all an illusion at the end of the day.

Okay.

In all seriousness,

I think Dan's question also was,

If he smokes weed and then reads the Zohar,

Is it a higher connection?

Unfortunately their microphones have been taken away.

So I'm so – I'm so sorry.

You're asking me what's your question.

I'm like,

Don't worry about it.

I tried to filter but he can't be stopped.

Let's welcome Diana from Panama for our next question.

Hello everyone.

My name is Diana Rivka.

I'm originally from Panama City,

Panama.

But I live in Miami since 20 something years.

My question is more about family.

About 14 years ago I got divorced.

And soon after that I have three kids and one by one left the house.

Soon after that my mother died of cancer.

I felt the world was coming to an end.

I had an angry conversation with God.

I didn't share with anybody.

And kind of like my soul answered me but I was like,

Wear it out.

A friend of mine,

A Panamanian friend of mine invited me to go to a book.

Karen was in Miami for the book to be continued.

And I went because reincarnation was always a topic I like.

But what I want to focus now is all my three kids decided to hate the world after the divorce.

They hate everything.

Coincidentally enough,

Each one of them went into a different addiction.

And when I tried to preach to them or tell them,

Hey,

Come to Kabbalah with me,

They're like,

Oh yeah,

You are just into religious or you're going crazy or you are becoming Jewish or you know,

Or why do you react?

Aren't you studying Kabbalah now?

So I want to know how to,

You know,

My greatest desire is to be able to heal my family,

Heal my kids,

To bring them into,

You know,

What I say is saved my life,

You know,

Because I literally was,

You know,

Giving up.

I cry out.

I was like,

You know,

God help me.

I don't want to eat.

I don't want to do anything.

And you know,

And I think I didn't find Kabbalah.

I think Kabbalah found me.

So I want to know how to influence,

How to heal,

You know,

What went wrong and or maybe it was all meant to be,

How to basically heal my family.

I think for healing to occur,

You need to have honest conversations,

Especially when it comes to addiction,

Usually people are looking for ways to make themselves feel better and it's not really addressing the seed of what they're looking for,

The seed of the hurt.

It's really how can I just escape the pain?

So I don't know the journey that you've had and it's great you found what has healed you.

Of course,

You can speak to them about it or even preach,

But first you have to get to the place of their pain and the source of that and meet them at that space.

You know,

I think often,

Especially I think children that come from a divorced family,

They see things a certain way and then suddenly their whole life changes.

They didn't ask for the change.

Maybe they didn't even know the change was about to happen.

Maybe the parents fought in private and suddenly everything's different and it's not something they expected or wanted.

So I think it's okay to give them their time to grieve the life that they thought they would have or the relationship they thought that you would have.

And of course,

Depending on how parents separate,

Right,

If it's a painful divorce or there's animosity then that affects the children in different ways.

So I think it's first being able to allow them to have their pain,

Their experience of loss and see what it is they want,

Right?

Instead of offering what helped you,

Meet them in their space of pain and lack and then from that space try to help them.

And it will be a series of many conversations and a process.

But I think that,

And of course,

As Mihai was saying earlier,

There's tikkun,

Right?

Everybody has their own journey.

But I think instead of trying to fix it right away,

Just try to hear them.

Yeah,

What I would add to that is that everybody,

Every family has different challenges.

And one of,

And it's kind of related to the first two questions as well,

One of the things I learned from the Ra'avah is that if you're trying to fix something that's important,

Giving up is never an option.

And it could take a year or five years or 20 years or 30 years.

But if you're really committed to it and using all the spiritual tools that we can and especially using other tools as Monica mentioned,

Then the third part of that is accepting that they have their own tikkun.

How old are they?

What are their ages?

They are 30,

28 and 26.

Right.

So one of the more difficult things to accept as a parent is the fact that our children were never really ours.

Hopefully we do the best that we can to guide them and give them wisdom and direction.

But we can never control and we're never supposed to control our children.

But accepting that and truly being committed to making the relationship at least better and persevering,

Not giving up,

Not after one year,

Not after 10 years,

Not after 20 years,

Not after 30 years,

I've seen many,

Many times with perseverance and love.

And I just want to go a little bit deeper into that because Monica mentioned it.

I think it's so important.

As a parent,

As a child,

As an observer,

I've often seen where one party believes all I'm doing is trying to help,

Not really feeling all the time how it's being received.

And just because our intentions,

It's one of the things that Rob would always remind us,

Just because we have the right intentions doesn't mean we're doing the right thing.

And I think it's so important to really ask,

Not how do I want to speak to them or how do I want to influence them,

But how do they want me to influence them?

What do they want to hear from me?

And I think if we do those three things,

Again,

First a commitment,

This must get better.

Again,

This might be a 30-year process.

Use as many tools as I can.

But third,

Maybe most important is to really ask,

Take my own desires out of it.

What do they need?

What do they want?

How do they want to hear?

How do they want me to speak?

And coming from that place,

Because ego is very strong and it gets involved in everything,

Even when we think we're doing the most loving thing and we're speaking in the most loving way,

The question has to be,

And it's not always easy,

To really try to feel what do they want.

And if you do those three,

I'm sure that over time you'll be able,

If not to create the perfect family dynamic,

But at least it's certainly a much better one.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Would you do one more question?

No,

I think we finished it.

Hello,

My name is Erika from Mexico.

Thank you so much for this amazing podcast that you come to me in different ways in my car,

To the gym,

To the store,

To everywhere.

So thank you very much.

So my question is,

How does one truly and fully embrace oneself and one's light?

And what's the biggest trap and obstacle in doing so?

That is such a big question.

I think we answered that through the last few days.

Well,

First you have to get comfortable in your own skin and you have to be able to learn to truly love yourself.

I have this conversation with a lot of people often and they're like,

Yeah,

No,

I love myself,

But the thoughts in their head are usually unkind,

Usually punishing.

So it's coming from that place of really how do you reveal and how do you really learn to feel so comfortable in your body and in your skin and all of you that you are able to hear your soul's desires,

That you take them seriously,

That you take action,

That you are so curious about who you are and who you could become that from that place you're able to then go forward and reveal your great light.

So we tend to from the space we are in,

Which is usually a bit broken for all of us,

Unless you do continual work every day to really learn to love yourself.

And that journey takes a long time and it's really every day choosing that to drown out the negative voice,

The negative thoughts,

The ones that when you look in the mirror,

You're like,

You're not enough or all that criticism,

Negative sound and start to say,

Okay,

I'm really curious about who I can become.

I'm really curious about myself and I'm going to invest energy in that.

And then when you do that,

Right,

Small ways every day when you meet yourself,

You say I'm not perfect and I'm not meant to be,

But I'm going to really learn to love all the parts of me and the parts that I don't love,

I'm going to push aside.

I'm going to grow the parts that I love and push aside the ones that I don't.

Then from that space,

When you do that,

Then you can create great light.

Then you can really know what you're supposed to do.

So often people approach life the other way.

I want to find my potential,

I want to find my purpose.

What am I meant to do in this world?

And then they go searching for that.

But all along,

They're still with that negative voice.

They're still not comfortable in their skin.

They're still feeling like every day,

Maybe they're a little bit of a fraud.

I give this example in my book,

Rethink Love,

That it's like not really feeling comfortable in your own skin is like walking around with a wet bathing suit with sand on you.

It's just all day,

Every day,

You're just uncomfortable.

So if we start from that place and we really,

I feel that I was so blessed when I was 17 to be so far on the other side of lack of self-love and punishing of myself that it came to a point where I was either going to die or I had to really start to do what I'm suggesting now.

And then that started the journey.

If I had not done that all those years ago,

The idea of revealing great light or manifesting or what's my potential,

It's like speaking a different language.

So I would start,

I would rewind way back and start again to really become your own best friend.

Be so curious about yourself that you wanna discover all the unique parts of yourself.

Grow the ones that work for you,

That you like,

And the ones that are just false belief systems that aren't really yours,

Just push away.

The only thing I would add is that one of the most important things to do to be able to manifest our greatest light is to the degree that we can,

And this is life's work,

Completely remove any thought of what anybody else thinks about me,

Wants of me,

And so on.

So often,

Even when we're doing good things,

Important things,

The thought of having other people approve,

Like,

Doesn't allow us to truly become who we're meant to become.

So in addition to what Monica is saying,

I think,

And this is not easy,

We all have this,

It's inborn,

It's the ego,

But to know that in order to truly reveal the purpose of my soul,

The great light that each one of us has,

The consistent work has to be to completely eradicate over time,

Over time,

Any thought of what others are thinking about me,

Because that's the only way that our lives and every decision that we make and every action that we take and truly consistently can be coming from our soul,

From the truest part of us.

Thank you very much.

Hi,

My name is Leah and I came here from the Philippines,

So my question is,

Yeah,

The Philippines is pretty far.

Alright,

So my question is,

How do you know you're truly ready for your soulmate?

I knew we were gonna get a soulmate question.

That's a good question.

How did you know you were ready for me?

That's a good question.

I'm still not sure if I'm ready.

Am I ready?

I'm ready?

You have to be ready.

You want me to answer or you can answer?

I think the expert.

I know,

But I'm curious about your answer.

I have an answer.

My answer?

How did I know?

I'm not even joking.

How did you get ready for me?

It's like,

I'm honest.

I don't think I'm ready yet.

I think it's a life work,

But to be a little bit more practical.

And less personal.

I think that,

Again,

I'm just gonna quote Monica's book.

Okay,

I'll answer the question.

You're gonna say my words in your words.

Maybe.

That a person cannot be ready for a soulmate if he or she are not yet fully in a relationship with themselves.

And like Monica said before,

Accepting of themselves.

If a person is thinking that whoever my soulmate is,

They're going to make all my problems go away or at least so much of my lack go away,

That almost never is the right consciousness with which to even be searching for a soulmate.

And that's why,

Again,

Just to quote the amazing book,

Rethink Love again,

The first part is developing that relationship with yourself.

And you will find that when you are,

At least again,

Not perfect because none of us are perfect,

But when you are advancing in truly knowing yourself,

Accepting yourself,

Finding fulfillment within yourself,

Then you are in a place where the light to the creator will enable you to find your soulmate.

Was that a good paraphrase of Rethink Love?

Ish,

Yes.

So I think often when we look for our soulmate,

Whatever that is,

Because there are many different kinds of relationships and everybody wants their soulmate and they think soulmate is going to be this amazing,

Perfect,

Perfection,

And we're happy and smiley all the time.

No,

You're going to fight,

You're going to argue,

You should.

There's things that are worth arguing about.

It's going to be a relationship that pushes you,

That helps you grow.

I mean,

That's really a soulmate relationship and it's not for everybody.

In order to be able to endure that kind of relationship and really enjoy it and see if the blessing it is,

There's a lot of work that needs to happen for that.

So in being able to find your soulmate,

It's that hard work that we spoke about of really self-awareness,

Self-discovery,

Self-love,

Knowing who you are,

Knowing what you believe,

And becoming that person.

Because honestly,

When we go out to look for the one,

We have a long list of all the things we want,

What we want them to look like,

The job,

The career,

How happy we're going to be together,

And it's this whole list.

But the thing is,

Are you doing that first?

We look and say,

Okay,

I'm going to have that life when I meet that person.

The secret to finding your soulmate is to create that life,

To be that thing you're looking for for yourself,

Create that vessel,

Prepare yourself,

Elevate yourself to the ability that you can,

And then you're going to meet a person that meets you there.

Because what happens is we're here,

We're dreaming about somebody that's here with this big list.

It's a disconnect,

Right?

But if we grow ourselves and we build that and we have this vessel,

Then suddenly even the things that we thought we wanted,

It might not even be true.

Suddenly when we really know who we are and we've discovered that part of ourselves,

Oh,

Wait a second,

This other part,

I want somebody who wants to grow and change.

Maybe that wasn't on the list before when we're just looking for a soulmate.

So it's a loaded question because there's so many aspects to it,

And make sure that what you're asking for is what you really want.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

So as I always say,

I hope you enjoyed listening to these questions and as much as we enjoyed answering them.

And again,

Especially Dan.

Dan!

Woo!

Stay spiritually hungry.