Let's do a meditation.
We've been going through the method for developing bodhicitta,
Which involves equalizing and exchanging self for others.
Each week we've done a different meditation involved with that.
Today,
I thought we could do a meditation on the point about actually deciding to change oneself for others,
Which means deciding to change our attitude so that instead of being self-centered,
We cherish others more than ourselves.
We need to make that decision and then work on bringing about that transformation in our mind.
Let's first briefly review the previous points that we reflected on in past weeks.
The first is the equality of self and others,
Which basically means understanding that all living beings,
All sentient beings are basically the same in that we all wish for happiness,
Good experiences,
And nobody wants pain or problems or any negative experience.
In that way,
We are all the same,
All living beings,
No matter whether they're human or non-human,
Whether they're from this country or that country,
Old or young,
Male or female,
Whatever kind of being there is,
In our mind we all have this wish to be happy,
To have good experiences,
And to not experience any suffering or problems.
Just contemplate that,
Bring that awareness up into your mind.
Even though this is the case that everyone is equally wanting happiness and no suffering,
Our attitude usually is to feel more concerned for ourselves than for others.
My happiness is more important than the happiness of others.
My wish to be free of suffering is more important than that of others.
This is what's called a self-centered or selfish attitude.
The teachings say that this is actually counterproductive.
This kind of attitude,
Even though we want to be happy,
Doesn't bring real happiness.
Instead,
It brings all kinds of suffering,
Such as when we,
Out of self-centeredness,
Act in harmful ways,
We create negative karma,
Killing,
Stealing,
And so forth,
And we're creating the cause for suffering for ourselves.
So just contemplate how this attitude of self-centeredness actually doesn't bring the happiness we want,
But instead brings problems,
Unhappiness,
Unsatisfactoriness.
Self-centeredness is also a major obstacle to spiritual practice,
Especially the bodhisattva's path.
It's impossible to make progress on this path and reach the goal,
Enlightenment,
Buddhahood,
As long as we cherish ourselves and consider ourselves more important than others.
So if we aspire to follow the bodhisattva's path,
Become a bodhisattva,
And then become a Buddha and benefit all beings,
We must overcome this attitude.
And then the opposite attitude of cherishing others,
Or it could also be called altruism,
Being concerned for others,
And even reaching the point where we're more concerned for others than for oneself,
This kind of attitude is the cause of happiness and good experiences.
It's what motivates positive actions like the ten virtuous actions,
Avoiding the ten non-virtues,
Practicing the ten virtues.
It's what motivates the practice of the six perfections like giving,
Ethics,
Patience,
And so on.
And just in the world,
It's what motivates people to go out and help those who are in need,
Those who are hungry,
Those who are suffering from natural disasters or homelessness or suffering from war and conflicts and so on.
So it's what leads to happiness and peace and good experiences for ourselves as well as for others.
So that attitude is much better,
Much more productive and the cause of happiness compared to the self-centered attitude.
And also to follow the spiritual path,
Bodhisattva's path,
And attain the goal,
Enlightenment,
Buddhahood.
We can't do that,
We can't achieve that without making this change in our mind,
Learning to be less self-centered,
Learning to be more centered on others,
More concerned for others.
So if that makes sense to you,
See if you can generate the resolve,
The determination to work on this.
It's not going to happen by itself.
We do have to make the effort seeing the benefit of making this change in our mind.
So see if you can generate the wish,
The determination to bring about this change in your mind,
Decrease selfishness and increase altruism,
Cherishing of others.
Now it's possible that there will be some internal resistance to making this kind of change.
For example,
One thought that might come up in our mind would be,
I have been so selfish all my life.
I'm such a selfish person,
There's no way I can change that.
So it's true that selfishness is a quality we all have and we've probably had it all our life and also in past lives.
So it's very strong,
Very predominant in our mind.
And it's not easy to stop being selfish,
But it's not impossible.
So we can then remind ourselves that the nature of our mind is impermanent.
It's not permanent,
Not frozen,
Static,
Unchanging,
But it's impermanent,
Changing all the time.
That's its very nature.
And selfishness and other disturbing thoughts and emotions are not permanent,
Fixed parts of the mind.
They too are impermanent.
They come and go similar to the way clouds come and go in the sky.
And so it is possible to change our mind if we apply effort.
As Shantideva says,
There is nothing that doesn't get easier through familiarity.
So by familiarizing ourselves with altruism,
Cherishing others,
And defamiliarizing ourselves with self-centeredness,
We can slowly,
Gradually change our mind.
Another objection that our mind might come up with is,
Why should I help others?
Their suffering doesn't harm me and their happiness doesn't benefit me.
So ask yourself,
Can you really be happy when someone else is in pain?
Doesn't someone else's pain and suffering disturb your own mind,
Your own happiness?
And haven't you felt happiness over somebody else's happiness?
So when a friend,
A loved one,
A family member is happy,
Is experiencing something positive,
Something good in their life,
Doesn't that bring joy to you?
So as the Dalai Lama says,
We human beings are social animals.
We don't do very well all by ourselves in isolation from others.
So we need others to find meaning and joy in life.
So is it really reasonable to think that others' well-being doesn't affect us?
Another objection that might come up in our mind is,
But if I do cherish others,
Then what will happen to me?
Who will take care of me?
So cherishing others doesn't mean we have to neglect ourselves.
We continue taking care of ourselves,
But we do it with a new outlook.
For example,
When we're eating food,
Instead of thinking only of our own pleasure,
Our enjoyment,
We can think,
I'm eating this food in order to have energy to continue practicing the Dharma and helping others and working for enlightenment so that I can help others in the best possible way.
So we can still take care of ourselves,
But with an attitude of dedicating ourselves to the benefit of others.
So in a similar way,
We can transform all the actions that we do,
Studying,
Working,
Playing,
Sleeping,
Going to the doctor,
Taking care of our medical needs,
And so on.
So we can do all of these things with an altruistic attitude of caring for ourselves,
Taking care of our needs so that we can practice the Dharma,
Benefit others now,
And work for enlightenment to be able to benefit others in the best way.
And also if we live our life with altruism,
Genuinely caring for others and cherishing others,
Then others will value us.
They will love us.
They will feel,
Oh,
This person is really precious.
And then anytime we are in need,
There will be people there to help us,
To take care of us.
So see if you can conclude this meditation by feeling strong determination to work on bringing about this change in your mind and your attitude and your way of living to be less self-centered and more altruistic,
More caring for others to the best of your ability.
