Frustration And Acceptance

How to come to a place of acceptance when all the stuff is flying in our faces every day and turning off the news doesn't help.

Well,

That's interesting.

What's flying in your face if you're not watching the news?

Which,

You know,

We can also say you're not on social media or consuming external stimulus.

What is it that's flying in your face?

Which is the thing that's so frustrating.

Which is funny,

And I love what you said,

Even when the news isn't on.

Because it kind of shows you that the real frustration,

It's not the news.

There's something else that's flying in your face.

What is it?

And if we're going to come to a place of acceptance,

We need to accept the truth of it rather than what we're blaming it on.

So it's important to be able to answer the question as it relates to what's flying in our face.

Well,

What is it that's flying in your face that is asking to be accepted?

That's a deep question.

Do you get my point here?

Like,

If acceptance is some flavor of the answer,

Then you're being invited to accept a particular truth of a thing.

And so whatever it is you're looking to accept,

You have to see the truth of it.

And let me tell you this,

When you see the truth of it,

Acceptance is automatic.

Which,

You know,

Speaks so much to the nature of spiritual wisdom.

Because all of these things that we crave,

Whether it's acceptance or kindness or love,

They are byproducts of the truth.

These aren't something that you do.

Acceptance isn't something that you do.

Acceptance is what happens when you see the truth of things.

Which is,

You know,

It's real comedy for the human journey because the human that sees itself as separate thinks that it has to do something.

Oh,

I have to be more loving.

No,

Then you'll be pretending to be loving,

Which isn't loving.

I have to accept it,

So I'm going to pretend to accept it.

That's not really accepting it.

This isn't about you doing something.

What is it really about?

You doing something is trying to control.

It's trying to imitate.

What is it really about?

And we can exhaust ourselves so much with trying to be spiritual,

Trying to be loving.

Right?

And then it comes back to,

Oh,

It's the right thing to do.

It's the right thing to be loving,

So I'm going to pretend to be loving,

Which completely misses the point of what real love is.

And the comedy is that in one way,

It's so much more simple than all of that.

Not to say that it's easy,

But it's so much more simple.

And often these things are better left discovered on your own rather than hearing somebody else say it.

Because to see it on your own in your direct experience in many ways is to actually see it.

If I tell you,

Then it's not really seeing it.

It's just another thing that you can try to do.

I've said the answer and I'm always saying the answer.

And that's the thing about these words,

Right?

It's always the one thing that I'm talking about most.

It's the one thing that I'm always pointing back to.

I'll give you a hint.

These things that we crave,

Right?

Like you just said,

To reclaim calm and acceptance,

Right?

These are the things you want.

Do you see this at the core of everything that we long for?

Like just in the real heart of our human experience.

Of course,

There's all the bullshit that we think we want on the surface,

But what you actually crave,

What you actually want,

Can you see how it is some flavor of love?

And all of these flavors of love,

They are the natural byproduct of something.

What are they the natural byproduct of?

All of these things that we crave,

They are interwoven into the fabric of reality.

Like they're already there,

Which is why they aren't something that you do.

To try and do them is like saying they're not here.

Here's a hint from a biblical perspective.

There's a Bible verse.

The Bible verse says something to the effect of,

Do X,

Y,

Z,

And then all of these other things will be given to you.

Does anyone know the first part of that scripture?

I can't even tell you which scripture it is,

But you get the point.

And this is repeated throughout all traditions in some way or another.

It says,

Do X,

Y,

Z,

And then all of these other things that you want will be given to you.

What's X,

Y,

Z?

Seek first the kingdom of God.

Now put that in layman's terms.

Remove the dogma.

What is that actually saying?

Seek truth.

And what kind of truth is it referring to?

Is it talking about worldly facts?

Or is it in some way or another speaking in terms that points to the salvation of your soul?

See what's real.

Here's why it's so important from a practical standpoint.

As human beings,

We develop a primary question.

And for most human beings,

The primary question is,

What do I want?

And that's the inner narrative constantly playing out.

What do I want?

And then as one journeys through the human experience and you start to see that that just doesn't work,

There's a different question that starts to emerge,

Which often inspires a spiritual path.

Not necessarily all the time.

What do you think that next question is?

You first start out with the question,

What do I want?

And then you're chasing all these things that you think you want,

And you get this and you get that,

But yet it's not,

It's not doing anything.

It's not solving the problem.

And so what's the next question we would ask?

What is really true?

Do you see the massive shift in orientation from a primary question that says,

What do I want?

Which is very future focused to a question of what is really true,

Which is very stillness focused and questions what is perceived.

What is really true in the context of transforming from what do I want is realizing that something's not working,

Getting what I want isn't really solving anything.

And so we ask the question,

Wait,

What's really going on here?

What's really true?

Do you see how the question,

What do I want is focused on ego?

What is really true is pointing towards God in a manner of speaking.

Furthermore,

To ask the question,

What is really true is a question of humility,

Which is saying that I don't really know.

There's a profound openness there.

And in the question of what do I want,

Where we're so future focused,

We're not present enough to hear God's voice.

Like we're so determined to go wherever we think we're going,

Only to find out that it's nothing and creates hell in the process.

And then in that hell,

We question,

How did I end up here?

What's really true?

And so the statement that says,

Seek first,

The kingdom of God is like saying,

Let that be the most important question.

Like imagine a relationship argument.

Tell me what a dramatic difference it makes in a relationship argument to have the primary question of what do I want,

Or the primary question of what is really true.

Tell me that's not a vast difference of experience.

To ask what do I want means I become a master manipulator.

How can I get this other person to give me what I want?

The question of what is really true here.

What a beautiful question that surrenders your ego.

And looks at the humanity of the situation that seeks to understand the other person,

That seeks to understand what's most important.

And why did I say that all of these things are a by-product of that truth?

Is it not obvious?

Like,

For example,

In the relationship example,

Something in you craves depth and connection.

Are you going to get that by chasing what you want?

Or by way of seeking what's true?

Something in you craves love and understanding.

Are you going to get that by chasing what you think you want?

Being future focused?

Or is that going to come from a depth of understanding?

A depth of presence and openness?

You see,

It's not how do I go and create love and understanding?

How do I do that?

No,

Seek what's true and it'll be a by-product.

But in order to seek what's true,

You have to give up that old primary question of what do I want?

That's the self-sacrifice.

Isn't that wild?

Do you see the obvious design?

Like,

This isn't just some cute spiritual phrase.

It's pointing to the actual structure of the life we're living.

And I challenge you to look at your suffering and tell me that you're not amplifying your suffering by holding on to what you think you want.

And then,

In looking to deeply understand your suffering,

Like the more you understand how suffering works,

It dramatically reduces the intensity of suffering.

And is this not the point of suffering?

To bring you to a place of stillness?

To question what's actually happening?

To see what's true?

Is it not true that your most profound moments of realization have been birthed through some season of suffering that humbled you?

My goodness.